This chapter was inspired by the song 'Lollipop' by Mika.
Lollipop
Matthew set the implements on the aluminium cart, from smallest to largest. The needles were sealed in plastic; the vacuums and tubes were coloured and marked; blue elastics decorated the handle in twos and threes.
A fellow phlebotomist walked past him in a white coat, wheeling her own cart. She nodded and Matthew returned the gesture with a tilt of his chin.
He finished with his cart and started down the corridor. He was working in the cancer care and intensive care units this morning, according to his paperwork. It was a bit depressing, but the nurses were nice and the doctors actually listened to his opinion; the staff trusted him to know what he was talking about, at least when it came to venipuncture and the results therein.
Matthew turned a corner, then another. He took the elevator to the sixth floor.
He raised a hand as he passed the nurse's station and headed to Room Nine. Unfortunately, the 'sixth floor; ninth room' translated as a big '69' stamped on the wooden door. Matthew covered his mouth and tried not to laugh.
He pushed the door open and walked in.
"Uhm, sixty nine? Sixty nine? Uh…" He scrambled for his paperwork and a proper name for his first patient. He always felt strange calling a patient by their room number, but this time it was worse than usual.
"… Are you propositioning me?"
Matthew looked up from the folders in his hands. The patient was pale, almost ashen, and his voice was rough and weak. He was propped up with pillows and hooked to a dozen machines. He was sick, that much was obvious, but he was still handsome and his eyes twinkled.
He smirked and a little dimple appeared.
"Are you, uh," Matthew turned back to his paperwork, "are you Mr. Gilbert Beilschmidt?"
The patient shrugged and sat up a little straighter.
"I was when I woke up this morning, and let me tell you, that in itself was a surprise. I thought I was going to die last night; there was vomit everywhere, man, but here I am. It's a fucking miracle." He sounded bitter and cynical.
Matthew approached Gilbert and asked for his hand. He compared the information on the hospital bracelet to his paperwork and was relieved when it matched up; right room number, right patient. Check.
"I'm just going to take some blood, okay?"
Gilbert stuck out his tongue.
"But I hate needles…"
Matthew pulled his cart closer and picked a winged needle, specifically a 'Butterfly Needle'. It would give him more control if Gilbert flinched, and besides, the veins in his arm looked thin and abused.
"I'll be gentle," he reassured. Gilbert snorted and muttered under his breath.
"I'm sure you say that to all the girls…"
Matthew flushed. For someone hooked up to a catheter, Gilbert had a surprising amount of 'piss and vinegar'.
He tapped the crook of his arm, looking for a vein, and he tied an elastic in place when he thought he found one. The elastic snapped with the motion and Gilbert cringed.
Matthew battled the urge to pat the grown man on his head and shush him. He really was terrified of needles, and it was adorable. Matthew wanted to comfort him, somehow, but there was not much he could do in the fifteen minutes they had together.
He slipped on a pair of gloves and opened a sterilization wipe. He washed Gilbert's arm and tried to ignore his nervous pants. Gilbert shifted under his hands.
"Gilbert, look at me."
Gilbert glanced up. He was tense, poised between fight and flight and unable to choose either. He was panicking.
"What?" He growled, more agitated than irritated.
"I promise you, this won't hurt a bit; not even a pinch. Just relax, okay?"
Gilbert grinned, but it wobbled.
"This whole conversation has been one innuendo after another. I have no idea how you're keeping a straight face."
Matthew laughed at that and allowed himself a small, unprofessional smile.
"Years of practice." And it was true. His whole career had revolved around 'sticking' people; 'poking' them and whispering soothing words in their ears. He snuck into their rooms and left fifteen minutes later; he almost never saw the same patient twice. Phlebotomy was the One Night Stand of the medical community.
Gilbert let his smile settle and the dimple deepened. Matthew decided that he liked that dimple.
"So…" Gilbert leered. "Do I get something to suck on, then?"
Matthew choked and his blush intensified. He was used to a bit of gentle flirting, here and there, but this was downright blatant. Room '69', indeed.
"Excuse me?!"
Gilbert leaned in closer, so that their noses were almost touching.
"You know," his breath washed over him, "like a lollipop or something. To distract me."
Matthew stared at him. His eyes were a deep wine red, like merlot, from this close. His hair was white. Matthew was not sure whether he wanted to shake his troublemaking patient or kiss him. He was sure that they would have been sworn enemies or the best of friends under different circumstances.
"A lollipop, eh? To distract you from what?" It was his turn to smirk as he pulled back and held up three vials of blood and a used needle.
Gilbert gaped. He looked between his arm and the vials.
"When the fuck did you manage that?!"
"When you were hitting on me. I told you it wouldn't hurt." Matthew pressed a small piece of gauze against the puncture. "Here, hold this."
Gilbert did as he was told, pushing the gauze tight against the miniscule wound. There was not much chance of bleeding, not with a winged needle, but it gave Gilbert something to do with his hands. He still looked shocked.
Matthew labelled the tubes and attached the appropriate paperwork. He sealed it all together and tucked the bundle into the top drawer of his cart.
He wandered back and examined Gilbert's arm with delicate fingers. No bleeding, just as he thought. Matthew smiled and pulled a sticking plaster from his pocket. He pressed it to his arm.
It was pink with daisies. Gilbert cocked an eyebrow and his smile widened. He reached into his pocket again.
"Is that a lollipop in your pocket or are you just 'happy' to see me?"
"You wish."
Matthew handed him a lime sucker with a yellow ribbon tied around the baton. He always kept a couple of lollipops in his pockets for such occasions, although he tended to hand them out to terrified children and not adults.
"Oh." Gilbert blinked. "It really is a lollipop…"
Gilbert reached out for the treat with both hands, more childish than any child Matthew had ever met. He unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth with a hum of satisfaction.
Matthew gave into temptation and patted him on his head, ruffling his hair. Gilbert leaned into his touch.
He turned to leave but Gilbert pulled on his hospital scrubs.
"… Yes?"
"Uh, visiting hours are from noon 'til eight." Gilbert flushed, and the splash of colour looked good against his sallow cheeks. "You know, in case you wanted to, uh… Visit… Me."
Matthew grinned. He really was adorable.
"Okay. I get off in a couple of hours."
"… Yes, I'm sure you will…" Gilbert grinned back. His lips stretched around the lollipop, teasing and taunting and sure of himself despite the heart monitor tapping out a nervous rhythm.
Matthew just rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him with a smile. The stamped numbers on the door stood out in sharp relief. '69' indeed…
Author's Notes:
"Hold still", "it'll be over in a second", and "just breathe through it"… I'm sorry, guys, but I can never keep a straight face at the hospital. It's overly sexual. Ridiculously so. I've spent more time than most at the hospital and I was there this afternoon for further tests. (It's nothing serious: don't panic.) The terms and procedures used here come from a combination of experience and research. Also, my aunt is a phlebotomist and waxes on about veins all the time.
Venipuncture: the process of withdrawing minute amounts of blood for the purpose of medical testing or analysis.
Phlebotomist: someone trained to draw blood from a person or animal.
A Winged Needle: or a 'Butterfly Needle' is smaller than most needles (a short point attached to a flexible tube) and easier to thread through veins. It is easier to manoeuvre when someone has small or elastic veins, or is particularly agitated.
Also, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I seem to put these characters in an odd assortment of situations and roles. Whoops!