Name: Shattered
Rating: M for mentions of rape, boy/boy, and swearing
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Warnings: Bullying scene, talk of fat-shaming
A/N: Oh god, I'm so sorry! I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter! I'm a little shit; there isn't really an explanation for my absence other than pure laziness.
There's a bit of OC backstory in this but it won't be too long. It's a bit vivid though, in my mind.
Kurt's grasp on his phone tightened as he walked down the hall towards his dorm room. Empty hallways had always made him nervous. You never knew what could possibly be around the next corner or perhaps lurking in the darkened corridor.
His earphones were firmly plugged in his ears, the soothing sounds of The Beatles surrounding his every thought.
Suddenly, a warm hand clasped his shoulder and Kurt's eyes widened in fear. Stunned, he dropped his phone, barely even noticing the sound it made as it hit the floor. Kurt whipped around quickly and his fist clenched.
Blaine immediately let go of Kurt when he saw the boy's reaction. 'Shit, way to go Blaine!' He thought to himself, cursing silently.
"Sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Blaine said quickly, bending down to pick Kurt's phone up off of the floor. "I hope your phone is okay. I didn't mean to make you drop it."
Kurt eyed Blaine suspiciously before taking the phone from him, his hands shaking as he reached out to take the phone from Blaine.
"Thanks." Kurt whispered so quietly that Blaine could barely hear him.
Blaine gave Kurt a pleasant smile, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets. He looked at the floor and cleared his throat.
"So you um...You transferred here from McKinley, right?" Blaine asked curiously, not noticing how Kurt tensed up. "I heard the had a glee club."
Kurt tensed and swallowed thickly, his fists clenching tighter. Blaine didn't seem to notice the change in Kurt's stature.
"Yeah." He mumbled, wrapping his arms around his waist and taking a small step away from Blaine. "They had a glee club but I-I didn't join. I'm not very good."
"Leave me alone!"
The jocks surrounding Kurt smirked as they looked down at the boy curled up on the floor. Each one held a plastic cup filled to the brim with slushies of different size and color.
"Oh look, the fairy's trying to defend himself." Said one cruelly, stepping closer to Kurt and kicking his leg lightly, revelling in the quite whimper that he let out. "Why don't you just shut your trap? Your voice is making my ears hurt."
The boys all laughed as the tears ran down Kurt's cheeks.
"Please, just leave me alone." He whispered, hiding his face in his knees as he waited for the ice-cold touch of the slushies to fall.
One of the boys held the slushie over Kurt's head, not tipping it over just yet. "What did he say, huh? Shut the fuck up. Your voice is so irritating, you sound like a little fucking girl." Another said, a malicious look in his eyes. "No wonder you don't have any friends, who would voluntarily listen to you speak?"
Kurt held back a quiet whimper as he waited, their words racking through his brain quickly.
'Little fucking girl'
'Fairy'
'Your voice is making my ears hurt.'
He heard laughter, cold and bitter, before the familiar feeling of ice smacked into him from above.
The jocks laughed again before throwing their –empty- cups at Kurt.
With his mouth clamped firmly shut, Kurt stood on shaky legs. He walked to the boy's locker room, barely even noticing the noise his shoes made as he walked down the hall.
Kurt clenched his teeth together and looked away from Blaine, feeling the boys gaze on him.
'Why won't he just leave me alone?' He thought to himself, trying not to let his fear and paranoia show.
"I'm sure you're amazing."
Kurt looked up at the boy, surprise clear on his face. 'Did he just say…?'
"I'm sorry, I'm overstepping, aren't I?" Blaine asked, a sheepish smile on his face. 'Damn it, Blaine, you were supposed to befriend him, not scare him!' He thought frantically, trying to find a way out of the conversation.
A ghost of a smile appeared on Kurt's face and he looked down at his shoes.
"I'm really not, but..." He looked up at Blaine, his heart pounding erratically with what felt like fear and suspicion. "Thank you."
Blaine blushed lightly, eyes wide. 'Is that a smile? God, he's beautiful when he smiles…' Blaine thought, a wistful look on his face. 'He's beautiful all the time really…especially when he…'
Kurt gave Blaine an odd look, fearing that he'd done something to annoy Blaine or make him angry. His hands shook and he took another step back, walking backwards slowly.
"I-I think I'm going to go now." He said quietly before turning around and walking quickly away in the opposite direction.
Blaine snapped out of his haze and sighed quietly, waving to Kurt. His shoulders slumped slightly as he waved but a small smile remained on his face.
'I think we're making progress.' He thought to himself happily before walking in the opposite direction, a skip in his step.
"…And I think he smiled at me!" Blaine gushed, lying on his back on his bed as Wes and David stared at the TV screen, clearly uninterested.
"Dude, you've been gushing for like…an hour." David sighed, leaning back into the sofa. "We get it, you like the guy. Why don't you just ask him out?"
Blaine stared at David and raised an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms.
"I can't just ask him out, David. He's…There's something about him. It's like he's constantly afraid for some reason and I don't want to pressure him or scare him off or anything." Blaine said softly, turning to face his friends. "I mean, I'd like to ask him out but I don't know…he might not be ready."
"He's not."
Both boys turned to face Wes who, up until now, had been silent. He looked up at them both and shrugged.
"I've seen his situation before. He was in a bad place before he came here." He explained, his eyes dark. "I can tell by the way he holds himself, the way he doesn't speak to anyone, the distant looks he gets sometimes in class…my cousin was bullied a little while back for being overweight. The exact same thing happened to her."
Blaine fell silent, his hands clasped so tightly that his knuckles turned white. David looked over at the dark haired boy, his forehead creased with worry. They both knew about Wes' cousin, Amelia. She was a nice girl, never had a rude thing to say to anybody. She would come over to Wes' house every so often since they lived practically next door to each other and everyone enjoyed her company.
And then High School came.
When Amelia walked into those doors, her bright, peppy smile slowly faded with every day. People would stare at her, whisper about her behind her backs, trip her over in the hallways. All because she was a bit bigger than the other girls.
People would come up to her during lunch and jeer at her, saying harsh things.
'You should really stop eating so much or you'll be too big to fit through the doorway.'
'Could you be any rounder? If we pushed you off the stairs you'd probably just roll down.'
'You're so fat, God. What are your parents feeding you?'
Everyday she'd come home, trying desperately to hide the tear tracks on her face from her parents. She shut everyone out of her life, including Wes. She told no one about the people at school who bullied her, she talked to no one about the way she stared at herself in the mirror in disdain.
It was her secret and her secret alone. Until Wes decided to pay her a visit at school.
He found her surrounded by a group of girls and two hulking jocks. When he got closer, he could hear the things they were saying to her.
"It should be illegal to be as big as you are." One girl sneered, "You'll make the floor cave in." They all laughed harshly as she just looked at her shoes.
"Seriously, what are your parents feeding you? This is like child abuse." Another added, raising an eyebrow.
Wes was fuming, his fists clenched. He'd yelled at them all, telling them to leave his cousin alone. He pushed up his blazer sleeves and swallowed thickly, knowing he didn't stand a chance against the two jocks the girls had with them.
They eventually got bored and walked away, talking about something else instead.
Amelia had said nothing, her eyes fixated on the floor.
After that, Amelia's parents had taken her out of the school and transferred her to another school, causing them to lose contact. When they left, Amelia's smile still hadn't returned and her arms never left her sides. She barely said goodbye.
Wes sighed at the memory, his eyes downcast. Blaine walked over and sat next to him on the sofa, patting his shoulder reassuringly.
"Have you talked to her?" Blaine asked quietly, squeezing Wes' shoulder gently. He smiled encouragingly when Wes gave him a small smile and a nod.
The rest of the afternoon was spent watching mindless reality TV and distracting themselves.
Kurt walked back to his dorm room and laid on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest and curling into a tight ball. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, trying to comprehend what had just happened.
'I'm sure you're amazing.'
Kurt opened his eyes and breathed out shakily. 'Why would he say that? He hasn't heard me sing before. He's barely heard me speak!' He thought, sniffing softly. The flashback had come and gone so quickly but the images were so vivid. The phantom feeling of the icy cold slushy sliding down the back of his neck made him shiver and curl up tighter, thinking if he made himself small enough, he would disappear entirely.
Suddenly, he remembered Blaine's smiling face. He'd looked so genuine and…cute.
'No, Kurt, stop!' Kurt thought quickly, straightening out and sitting up. 'Blaine doesn't like you, he was pitying you.' Kurt sniffed and rubbed his eyes quickly before any tears could form. 'No one actually likes you. Remember what happened at McKinley?'
Kurt sighed shakily and stood up, undressing himself and getting into bed. He didn't exactly feel like dinner tonight.
A/N:
So that's the third chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it because I'm pretty proud of it. Please do tell me what you liked and what you didn't like about it (but please don't be too mean :) )
In other news, I'm looking for a beta to check over some of my spelling or grammar mistakes and help me with potential plot ideas or help me with just writing in general so if you're interested, send me a PM and I'll get back to you!