Life, Her Hell that Holds Love

Disclaimer: I don't own DC

Word count: 1455

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing, dear all. This chapter I'm featuring Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko – Stay. It's a really amazing song so if you haven't listened to it, it's strongly recommended.

Also, this chapter is a pre-climax. And I'd love to know what you think.

Characters: Haibara Ai, Kudo Shinichi, Akai Shuichi (don't expect him to be cool in this chapter, though he's a minor character)

Chapter 2: Stay

I couldn't remember how, or why, but I'm in Shinichi's arms, receiving passionate kisses from him, and generously giving him back. Our bodies move forward a little involuntarily suddenly, reminding me that we're actually in Akai's car, for whatever reason.

My headache is so severe that I can't think straight, not when I need to focus my remaining consciousness to the man who's having me all to himself. The only things I want to feel right now, are his hot, watery mouth and his touches that are full of love and affection.

Why isn't he mine? All mine? I shut the thought from my mind.

I cherish every movement he makes, every touch he gives, like a sinner seeking for Messiah's salvation.

We are both too drunk to remember how it started, but are still sane, or perhaps insane, enough to keep going.

I feel his mouth in mine, both full of the smack of liquors, unable to identify which is which. Every twist of our tongues feels good, provoking the inner devil of mine. I love how he caresses my hair, my neck, my back, my waist, almost as much as how I love him.

I hold nothing back, giving myself entirely for him, touching his cheeks, his back of ears, his chest, knowing how he likes it, like how I do. Every space in our world is filled with precious silence, as no word is needed to interrupt this perfect moment. His level-headed reasoning and my self-protecting sarcasm shatter to nowhere when the tranquil night takes over.

Funny he seems to be the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving, because when we never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving.

Gently, he moves his hand into my shirt, taking all he wants as all I have is meant for no one but him. Feeling his hand cups one of my breasts perfectly is too good to be true, though my laced bra is really a hindrance.

As if he's able to read my mind, Shinichi searches for the buckle at my back with his hand. Though touching my bare skin is unavoidable, it seems like he's been planning all this while, making me shivers due to the Adrenaline rush in my vessels.

"Hey, you two, hold on. You can wait. Don't mess up my car," Akai's voice is sounding from the front of the car, his tone is flat as always. His sudden interruption seems to be unwise, as Shinichi, having his lips away from mine, starts suppressing his urge to throw up.

"DON'T!" Akai shouts, sounding nervous all of a sudden, and promptly stops his car. "Here!" he demands as he hands Shinichi a plastic bag, "get out and come back in ONLY when you're done!"

I watched, amused. If my guessing is right, it's Shinichi's first hangover, and making out with me... May be, very likely to be, most probably to be his first, but also last.

I'm not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way he moves makes me think I can't live without him. It takes me all the way...

The urge to puke silences my thought, and I open the door immediately. Akai hands a plastic bag to me, without forgetting to roll his eyes to me. I manage to do a 'thank you' gesture to him before going out to throw up, carefully not to let my unbuckled bra slips off.

Akai must be regretting how he got two drunken teenagers in his car right now.

oOoOoOoOo

The hot water that pour down from the shower washes away the traces that alcohol left on me, the stinky smell and the unnatural flushes on my skin. The pressure of the hot water that beats on my head, my shoulders, my back, is easing the headache, as well as helping me regain my calm and conscious mind.

What am I doing here?

I look around to find myself in surrounded by white and grey tiles instead of blue mosaics, which means I'm not in Professor Agasa's house bathroom. Then it has to be Shi, Kudo's house. Why did Akai make the both of us here?

Of course, for my sister... He knows exactly what his beloved woman wanted, to see her sister living a happy life with the one she loves. But it's wrong... It's way too wrong.

Just, what am I doing here?

I recall the moment when we're in Akai's car, when we're chest to chest, lips to lips. A tear rolls down from my eye, so fast, so soon, that I thought it's just an illusion. What is that for? Joy? Guiltiness?

God, what I've done?

I turn off the shower; quickly wrap myself in towel, as I don't see there is any bathrobe. My clothes are stained, so I need clean clothes to change. Hopefully Shin, Kudo's mother left some clothes here.

I step out of the bathroom, being faster than usual, quicker than necessary, as if the faster movement can shut away the emotions that swirl in my mind. I thought I can avoid seeing him if I'm acting fast enough...

"Ai..." I hear his miserable voice, that damn voice that melts my heart, as I see him stepping into the room which my bathroom is located. He is half naked; the only thing he's wearing is his boxer briefs.

I look away, grasping the towel that encloses my body. I know I can't look straight; his firm and masculine body lines are too alluring, I'm afraid I'd do something worse. It's not like I want him to betray Ran for me...

"Ai," he moves closer, he's not wobbling, but his steps are not steady either. Has he not recovered from the hangover? Involuntarily, I take a few steps backward, while keeping my eyesight on the floor. "Are you avoiding me?"

"No," I lie, avoiding his ebriated stare.

"Then why are you not looking into my eyes?" he interrogates, like I'm a criminal.

I glare, as cool as I can pretend, "now I am, satisfied? Kudo, I have to go."

"Don't," he whispers, almost begging, "don't go." I feel the dampness in his breath, close to my ear, I know a kiss from him is coming, but I force myself step backward, painfully.

"What do you think you are doing?" I warn, as I grasp the knot of the towel even harder, afraid if he unties it, afraid if I let him.

"You want it, don't you?" he raises his voice, sounding hurt. I can't forgive how he thinks he is hurt, ignoring the fact that I'm the one who hurt the most, by him; and if this nonsense continues, Ran, innocent as always, would be hurt too.

"You're drunk," I murmur, my heart aches again, "jerk off."

"Yea I am," he laughs a little, "but I was asking if you want it?" How can he speak every word clear and calm, like he doesn't know, doesn't care to know the reason I avoid him...

"No," I lie again, "I'm leaving now." I take a few steps, each and every feels so heavy. I won't mind if I'm going back to Professor Agasa's house in this state, in nothing but a towel, now. Anything would sure be better to stay here watching him, hearing him, feeling him... Anything...

"Ai," my name slips away from his soft lips as he grabs my arm, I can't deny how much I like him calling me Ai, "but I want you." The way he holds my arm hurts, his slender fingers pressure against my skin, but his words are what that really hurts.

"You want me..." I repeat his words, blankly, emotionlessly. His fingers loosen, as I stare at him with my eyes that tears already started flowing, "and you want Ran. Who do you think you are?!"

He looks me into my eyes, like a surprised kid, shocked of my words, like he never expected me to be this honest, never expected me to see through the reality, despite how desperate I want him.

His silence answers everything I need to know, nothing. I need not to know a thing. Who am I to know anything?

All I need now is leave before I go to the point where there's no turning back.

"Stay..." he begs as soon as I take another step to the door. His word works like a spell, making my feet glued to the floor.

I let my tears flow, because I know I'm able to do nothing around this man. I stay still, watching with my blurred vision, letting him wrap his arms around my bare shoulders.

I can't even tell when does he make my towel falls...