Time frame: Middle school, 7th grade
POV: Ellis
Main event: Keith finds something disturbing in the couch cushions.
Did I ever tell you about the time Keith managed to trip over the coffee table and knock himself out? See, we were at his house because my mom was on a date with the mail man and we were watching TV. It was summer time and the ice cream truck was making its last rounds for the day and we heard that catchy ice cream truck music getting closer. So we were lookin around for spare change. I had a leftover dollar in my pocket from God knows when, but that wasn't enough to get anything but a cough syrup popsicle. So we were lookin as fast as we could go.
Keith reached into the couch cushion and he came up with two quarters. He got excited and reached into the other one but this time he didn't pull out no money. He pulled out a thing that, at the time, we thought was some kind of sculpture. It was shaped like a giant round bullet...more like a spade like in the card game. It was painted up like a mushroom on the Super Mario game.
Keith was like, "what's this?" and started lookin it over. But then it started to buzz and then it dawned on me. I knew what that was, a butt plug. A vibrating butt plug and the only one it could have belonged to was Keith's one sister Mindy, who was living at home.
I think when it started to vibrate, Keith kind of had an idea about what it was. I don't think he knew for sure yet, but his face got real weird, like he thought maybe he should not have this in his hand. He looks at me and I'm like, "That's a thing your sister puts up her butt."
Well, he flipped out and was yellin, "GROSS! DUDE HELP! WHAT DO I DO?!"
I just told him to put it down, and when he did it was vibratin by his foot and he jumped away from it and fell over the coffee table. It was glass, so when he fell over it, it tipped and broke all over the place. When he hit the floor, he smashed his nose on the hard wood and went unconscious for a while. I didn't know what to do, and the ice cream man was gonna drive away.
I knew Keith would be mad if he didn't get no ice cream so I ran out real quick, got a rocket pop cause that was all I had money for and I gave it to him when he woke up a minute later. His eyes and nose got bruised up pretty bad but nothing was broke and he only had a few cuts on his legs. Nothin that needed medical attention, so I patched him up and we cleaned up all the glass.
That thing was still vibrating around. Neither of us were even about to pick it up again to turn it off. Then Keith's dad came home, saw the broken coffee table, bloodstains on the floor, and the mushroom butt plug makin another lap around the room. He was pissed about the table at first but then he said he didn't want to know how it happened. But I explained anyway and he laughed so hard he about peed himself.