Joan
Mass Effect
Kaidan Alenko/Commander Shepard
A/N: Not a Zaeed/Shep fic, I know, but I had to put it somewhere.
It's a slip of the tongue, really. He always seems to fumble his words around her. She's just so unsettling, standing at ease, her arms behind her back and an actual interest in what he has to say. Kaidan isn't naïve; he knows Shepard treats each member of her crew with the same amount of respect and attention. His time at brain camp, however, has taught him to expect a much different reaction from his superiors.
"You remind me of Joan of Arc. Commander."
Shepard's demeanor changes from polite, forced decorum to something almost akin to amusement. "The french maid who burned at the stake?"
He's a grown man, a lieutenant, but none of that ever seems to make a difference around Shepard. She could be a grunt and he a captain and he'd still have no idea what to say to her. His tongue becomes thick as he says, "It was...it was meant as a compliment, ma'am."
"Explain."
Oh, here it comes. He stutters, "Her love for her people, it went unmatched. She fought against a hostile invader-"
"Like the reapers," Shepard interrupts and Kaidan is glad for the intrusion. It means she's still listening and is not just waiting to go and repeat this whole horrid conversation to Williams.
"Exactly," he sighs. "And, I," 'don't say it, Alenko', he thinks before he says, "And I saw a vid once where she had hair like yours. Ma'am."
Kaidan almost misses Shepard's left hand reach up self-consciously to touch her crimson hair. He almost misses, but he doesn't and it makes him grin like an head-over-heels-in-love idiot. Which, he freely admits, he is.
"Thank you, Kaidan" Shepard says politely. And Kaidan is sure she's going to leave it at that until she continues, "For the almost compliment."
Damn. He tries to hide a nervous smile. "My apologies, Commander."
She surprises him, she always does, when she adds, "Do better next time," before she does an about face and heads back down the hall at a decent speed.
His face begins to hurt from all this unnecessary and idiotic grinning.
He's never felt so good.
He feels good until it all goes to hell.
The Normandy's going down and there isn't a prayer in existence that can save it, but didn't Joker have to at least try? And damn it all if Shepard didn't have to try to save Joker.
It's only minutes (it feels like years) before Kaidan finally gets in radio contact with Joker and learns Shepard is not with him. She's somewhere else, floating free in space with a broken suit, and is seconds away from crashing through the nearest planet's atmosphere.
There is no doubt in his mind when he reaches the unwanted conclusion that Commander Shepard is going to die.
He realizes then he should never have likened her to a martyr, for that is what she became.