Thanks to the amazing mrsbonniemellark for her love and support and friendship, you're the bees knees woman! Love you so much!
"My Dear Mrs. Mellark," began the President with an air of mitigated superiority. "What a lovely gown you have on this evening."
"Thank you," Katniss replied hesitantly as she searched the crowd for her husband. She might as well admit that. The President seemed determined to call her by her new name regardless of whether the documentation was finalized yet or not. "Cinna has quite the mind for fashion."
"That he does, my dear," he narrows his eyes at her, "that he does."
Peeta was somewhere in the crowd and while Katniss wanted nothing more than to see him beside her, she knew that other people were anxious to see him as well. It wasn't the Victory Tour anymore, she knew that, but she would give anything at the present moment to cling to him now as she did then. Holding firmly to his hand. He was her support. He helped her get through all of those Districts and eventually the party in the Capitol. Seems they were not going to be leaving the Capitol spotlight anytime soon.
"How was the trip here?" he continued, making light of the tension.
"Honestly?" she asked through her tightened jaw. "I slept for most of it."
"Any particular reason why?" he pushed and she answered with a shrug. "You may have married the boy, but that does not mean that we do not still have a problem." He spoke slowly. Calculating every word, making his point clear, uninhibited. "The problem Mrs. Mellark," he hissed in emphasis. "In the Districts is not any better. While there might be a slight increase in the number of individuals that believe the berries were an act of love, others do not."
"What do you want me to do about that?" she asks spitefully. "Clearly, I haven't done anything right leading up to now. What else could I possibly do?" Looking at him warily she thought about alternatives, but none made sense, none seemed to result in the right result. "Nothing is going to help at this point." She finally admits plainly.
"No," he answers with a shake of his head. "I do not believe so."
"Then what do you want from me?"
"You?" he turns to stand directly in front of her. "I still want you to convince me. You're going to go home, you're going to be happily married, you're going to have lots of children, and you my dear, are going to watch them follow in your glorious footsteps."
"You wouldn't dare," Katniss spits out vehemently.
"See," he starts with a smile. "That's the nice thing about being who I am. I can do whatever I want." His assistant calls him from a short distance away. Nodding at her he turns to walk away, but not before saying under his breath in a volume only she could hear, "and there's nothing you can do about that."
Katniss gasps in response so sharply that she almost falls over. Collapsing into a nearby chair she starts to shake. Could he really do that? Would he? No, she must be dreaming. Even Snow wouldn't be that cruel...would he? All the possibilities start to pour into her mind, seep into her consciousness. All those dreams she'd tried to ignore, tried to shove deep within herself, refuse to let herself consider...and here she'd been told by the most powerful man in the country that two things would happen in her life. One, her and Peeta would have children. And two, they would go into an Arena regardless. She'd never felt so helpless in all her life. And this was just the start.
Forcing herself to her feet she wandered around the party until she finally found him. Rushing forward she shoved away the woman in front of him. "Get away," she hissed. The woman looked caustically over in her directed and left without another word. Then Katniss flung Peeta's arms open wide and walk directly into his embrace. "We were doomed from the start. This won't end well for us at all. I endangered us for the rest of our lives, I've sealed our children's fates, I've sentenced us all to a lifetime of pain."
"What are you talking about?" Peeta asked closing his arms around her, only just now noticing how badly she was shaking. "What's wrong?" He tries to pull her back from him, to get a good look at her face, but she's holding so tightly that he can't. "Did Snow say something to you?" She nods. "What did he say?" She then shakes her head into his chest.
"Ladies and gentlemen," says Snow from the steps of his mansion, calling on the attention of everyone in attendance. "I'd like to thank our special guests in attendance here tonight. All of our victors are present, though I want to call special attention to our newlyweds." He gestures towards Katniss and Peeta while Peeta awkwardly waves in thanks and Katniss keeps her head buried in his chest. "I wish you all the best in your future lives. May we heap blessings upon you both in your future together. I'm sure we'll all be excited to see how you handle it from here. I look forward to you joining this years Quarter Quell as mentors, but remember, no more rule changes like the one you received." He gives a lighthearted laugh which is then echoed by the crowd. "So in farewell," Snow nods to his assistant. "I'd like to present you both with this gift." An attendant walks the package over to them, Peeta accepts it. "Don't open it now, but know I send it with my deepest sincerity and complete joy. To you both." He raises a glass of champagne in their direction. "To the Mellark's."
"To the Mellark's," everyone in the party echos in an ominous tone. "May the odds be ever in your favor."
"They're not," mumbles Katniss. "They're not now, nor will they ever be. The odds have not been in our favor since the moment Prim's name was drawn at the Reaping. They will never be in our favor, Peeta. Never."
"Okay," says Peeta slowly and with inflection. "We're getting out of here now. We need to talk. I don't know what happened, I don't know what was said, but this…" he pulls his hands back and waves them in the air over her back. "This is not okay. I know this is not okay. You're never this clingy. So we're going to find Haymitch and Effie and go back to the train."
"Party's not over," she mutters.
"It is for us." Peeta forcefully pulls her back, wipes the tears from her eyes, grabs her hand and starts walking. It takes several minutes before they find Haymitch and Effie, but thankfully it doesn't take much time to convince them that they need to leave. Haymitch grumbles about waiting for this decision they arrived at the party. Effie makes a point to mention that they need to leave anyways, though Peeta was sure that was for Katniss' benefit. Effie doesn't like crying, doesn't like many emotional outbursts, so she all too eagerly agrees that they should leave.
Little is said on the train ride back. Katniss immediately returns to the train, goes to and collapses into her bed and falls asleep. Peeta can get her to say nothing. After a while he stops trying, deciding she'll tell him when she's ready, and that it's probably best in this circumstance not to push. She wakes up screaming from a nightmare and wraps herself so tightly around Peeta he's sure if he had a leg where the prosthetic usually stayed when he was awake, it would have fallen asleep for sure. When they reached the train station Katniss uttered one thought, "Snow threatened our children. They don't even exist yet...and he's already threatened them."
Then as if in a trance she walked silently back through town to their home in Victors Village, only to find Gale sitting on the steps. She stops up short. Glaring. Peeta steps in front of her. Katniss just pushes him aside, walks up the stairs, when Gale starts to talk she shoves him off the steps and opens the door. Silently she enters the house. Gale once gaining his footing turns to Peeta.
"What did you do to her?"
Peeta shakes his head staring up at the door, hearing Katniss retreating to the second floor as she drags her feet up the stairs. "It's not something I've done."
"What did you say then?" Gale nearly shouts.
"You know, Gale," snaps Peeta. "I don't know what it is you think I may have said or done, or whatever, all I know is this: she spoke with Snow, came back to me and wouldn't let go of me for a second."
"Did she say what he said?" questions Gale.
"No," Peeta lied. Well, it wasn't really a lie, he excused. She hadn't actually said what Snow said, only gave a general analysis, told him enough that he at least somewhat knew what they were facing...what she had faced. "But whatever it was, clearly," he gestures into the house. "It's not good."
"I'm still unconvinced that you had anything to do with it," rescinds Gale. "Nothing bad ever happened to her until you came into the picture."
"Oh, really? We're going there?" Peeta crosses his arms and turns to face Gale directly. "So her father didn't die in a mining accident? She didn't almost starve to death when she was eleven?"
"What do you mean?" Gale looks perplexed. "Almost starve to death?"
"Oh, well I thought you watched what happened in the Games," shrugs Peeta. "We talked about it in the cave. She was digging through our trash, my mother went out and yelled at her, so I burnt some bread and then threw it to her. Worst beating I'd gotten up until that point. But it was okay, she lived to see another day. She lived. She's here now."
"You honestly think you're responsible for that?" snaps Gale. "Exclusively?"
"Of course not," grumbles Peeta. "I'm sure you've helped some. She knew how to do snares because of you. Helped keep us alive in the arena."
"She just pitied you," says Gale with a snort. "That's the only reason she saved your life."
"It's humbling that you think that," Peeta shakes his head.
"Well, it's not like I needed her to save my life," scoffs Gale.
"Right, because you're such a crack shot all on your own," snickers Peeta. "She didn't help you with that at all."
"Oh, just get a measuring tape already," chortles a drunken Haymitch. "Not that it matters. She married one of you. The other one she hit in the dark the other night. Quite hilarious really. You," he jabs a finger at Gale, "offended her, way to go! And you," he spins towards Peeta who catches him, "you should be making sure she's okay, not dicking around out here with him."
Peeta and Gale stand stoic as Haymitch continues to make comparisons before finally glaring at Gale, "go home Gale. Peeta, get inside before she comes crying to me. I heard what she said at the station. She needs you, you know she needs you. So just go already." Haymitch shoves Peeta towards the stairs and then flings a drunken arm over Gale's shoulder. "What's say we take you home so he can go help his wife?"
Gale shakes Haymitch off roughly, "She's going to need me at some point. And I'll be there."
"You can't help with this one though," sighs Peeta. "No one can."
"What did she say at the station?" Gale asks genuinely.
"Just trust me," Peeta shakes his head. "You can't help her on this one."
"I'm going to try."
"He didn't threaten your future children," Peeta glares at him. "He threatened ours." Peeta waves his hands between Gale and the house.
"That's not true," Gale adjusts his weight uncomfortably.
"It is," shrugs Haymitch stepping towards Peeta. "I heard it. But you don't need to hear it," he throws his empty bottle at Gale. "And you, don't make me drag you into the house. We both know I'm not capable of that in this state."
"Goodbye Gale," Peeta says nodding at Haymitch as he goes up the first couple of steps.
"You're going to mess up," snarls Gale. "And when you do, I'll be there."
"I'm human Gale," sighs Peeta. "Of course I'll mess up. But at the end of the day, Snow threatened our children. Mine and Katniss'. They don't exist yet, and their death warrant has already been signed. That's what her nightmares are about. She wakes me up in the dead of night with her screams. The one thing that could make her shut out the entire world, is what she's just been assured of. So yes, I'll mess up. I'll mess up, she'll mess up. We'll have kids. They'll fight in the Games. And she will probably live the rest of her life hating everything. Because there is no worse feeling in the world, than feeling like you cannot protect the one's that you love. I know. And our fates were sealed, the moment she pulled out those berries, the moment we decided to fight the system."
"I don't see why that matters," Gale shakes his head in mock confusion.
"In that Arena…" starts Peeta slowly. "In our Games, she fought so hard to protect me, to keep me alive. They changed the rules, but then they retracted that change in the end. She pulled out those berries so we'd both live, she challenged the Gamemakers, made them look week, and in her mind, this is all her fault. But I took the berries from her. She's not doing this alone. I won't let her."
As if being struck by lightning Peeta stands bolt upright and rushes into the house slamming the door behind him. Gale yells something from outside but he doesn't care, he just hurriedly makes it upstairs. The shower is running. Peeta enters to see Katniss, fully clothed, curled into a tiny ball and sobbing in the corner.
"I can't protect them," she chokes. "I can't protect them. I can't protect them," Her voice is broken and she begins rocking herself back and forth. "This is all my fault. This is all my fault."
"No," Peeta shakes his head slowly. "No, Katniss. It's not." He walks forward into the water and pulls her into his arms as she begins to sob. "We won't let him hurt them. We won't let him do that. I promise."
"Yo-you- ca-an't," she gets out between sobs.
"No," Peeta rubs her head, holds her close. "No, Katniss. It's not all your fault. We'll protect them. We'll do it together. That's what marriage is all about. Doing things together. We can do it. Please, please don't cry." He knows it's no use to add that, she's going to cry, and cry a lot. But if he could help even in the smallest of ways, he'd consider himself to have accomplished something.
He lets her cry for a while longer before convincing her to get into some dry clothes. She does so obediently, and he carries her over to the bed and crawls in behind her. She's so tired she falls asleep immediately, but Peeta stays up for a while, concerned that something might happen if he could fall asleep, but eventually he does. When light breaks in the morning he realizes she didn't have any nightmares.
"Peeta," Katniss chides in the morning.
"Yeah?" he asks rubbing the hair from her forehead.
"Thank you," she nuzzles into the crook of his arm.
"For what?"
"For not asking me," she places her hand on his chest. "For not pushing me."
"Of course not," he kisses her forehead.
"But it is my fault that we're in this mess."
"We're married now," laughs Peeta. "Share the blame."
"But it's mine," she gets up on an elbow. One arm on the bed, the other on Peeta's chest.
"It's ours," he places his hand on top of her own. "You said he threatened our children. If they threat was to our children, the threat was made to us. The blame is ours. You're not gonna take the heat of all of this on your own. I won't let you."
"You're so good," says Katniss, inching forward.
"Why do you say that?" Peeta asks as she places her face just inches from his own.
"You take care of me, you're my rock," she kisses him on the lips, lightly, sweetly. Innocently. Then pulls her head back.
"Well," smiles Peeta. "I can certainly live with that."
"With what?" she giggles as he leans up and kisses her.
"This," he shrugs, "I can get used to this."
She leans down and kisses him more deeply than before. More sincerely than before. More wholly than before. Then she pulls away, "there." He looks at her in confusion. "That's all you get until I get some cheese buns." Peeta laughs heartily as Katniss reaches over him to grab his leg. Handing it to him she yanks the blankets off of him. "No pants?"
"You didn't exactly let me get pajamas last night," he laughs heartily. "Not that I mind. I'm not the pure one here."
"I'm not pure," she slaps him playfully.
"Well, that's debatable," he says attaching the leg. "Now, I'll grab some pants and make your cheese buns."
"Good idea," she shoves him off the bed. "Though pants aren't exactly required."
"If you say so," he winks at her and then leaves the room.
A little while later when the cheese buns are just about ready to come out of the oven, there's a pounding on the front door.
"Ugh!" groans Katniss audibly. "Who is that?"
"Do I look like I can see through walls?" Peeta shakes his head mockingly. "Nope. Not in my repertoire."
"Well," she smiles at him genuinely. "Maybe it should be."
Shaking his head he walks towards the front door.
"Maybe it's just Haymitch," she calls to him.
"Doubt it," Peeta calls back, "he was so drunk last night he'll probably sleep all day."
"Maybe I'll bring him some buns later."
"Good idea," says Peeta in the same tone she said it before. Reaching the door he pulled it open. Standing on the other side was not who he expected. Not who he wanted. No, this individual was not welcome in this house. He'd made that very clear. Yet here she was. On his doorstep. At his door. "What do you want?"