Clouds of the Blue Sky

by Freefan1412

PreSeed to postDestiny. Drabbles and missing scenes with many characters. 31: Truth behind Athrun's medal 32: Chief Murdoch isn't the first in the hanger 33: Kira, Cagalli on attempted marriage 34: Kira is running out of 35: Lacus and Angel Down 36: Kira remembers 37: Dearka puts things together 38: Mu and Murrue and their job 39: Mu as Senpai 40: Meer's ground is slipping away

31. Sign of honor

Characters: Lunamaria, Athrun

Pairings: None

Time frame: GSD post ep 16

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Sign of honor

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"Come to think of it, you got a medal too, didn't you Athrun?" Lunamaria remembers, turning to smile at him. "For defeating the Strike."

It has been more than two years by now, but the memory still hits Athrun with neck-breaking speed, like yesterday. Suddenly the air feels heavy and hot and his fists spasm as if still clinging to controls. Lighting illuminating a white suite, flashing with the rage of the pilot-

But it has been two years and this isn't the first or even the second time he has been unwillingly reminded.

He manages to swallow, weathering the storm, and the memory fades to only reality-overlapping images. Another second, and it occurs to him belatedly that Lulamaria is expecting a response.

Through his brain flash half a dozen replies:

I threw it out the airlock the first chance I got.

I hated every second of it.

I gained it in a battle without reason, without orders and only destructive rage as motivator.

I killed -as far as I knew- my best friend for it.

It is one of the greatest mistakes of my life.

I don't want Shinn to repeat my mistake.

Distantly, he realizes that none of those are in any way suitable and that at the very thought of vocalizing the horror he has felt, his lips wouldn't move.

Hurriedly, he changes the subject and hopes that he doesn't look as shaken as he feels.