Life, Her Hell That Holds Love

Word Count: 1585

A/N: Sorry for taking so long for the update. Am having trouble to concentrate i.e. am procrastinating. Sometimes I just have to think which is the best way to end the story, and when to end the story.

I've come to the point feeling miserable for making the characters go ooc from the start, but it can't be helped now. Come to think of it, I still have a huge room to improve in terms of writing skills. So, please review to point out where I should work on.

Also, I hope to see suggestion on how the fanfic should end, because I think my own idea is too cruel.

By the way, Mirrors is performed by my king, Justin Timberlake. Check out the music video, you won't regret!

Chapter 8: Mirrors

Is there anyone to tell me what's right and what's wrong?

Because if it's right why do I feel so wrong?

Shinichi, standing beside my hospital bed, press his lips hard on mine. The two valves of ferocity forcing mine to respond, enthusiastically sucking them. His tongue slides out to taste my lips, besides anxiously finding a way to enter my mouth.

My eyes remain shut but I can't find my strength to let his tongue in, nor to kiss him back.

I just stay where I stay, numb in overflowing unreasonable emotions, hoping to gain my sanity, so that I can make love with him, so that I can make myself believe I'm loved, so that I can tell myself I deserve it...

But I can't.

Knowing his effort turns futile, Shinichi reluctantly stops and glare at me. Gritting his teeth, he demands, "Why don't you even give me a chance to prove it? Why do you have to be so pathetic?"

I feel a stabbing pain at where my heart lies. Pathetic? Yea, that's the right word to describe a loser like me.

He senses the sudden melancholy in my eyes and knows he had just said something indecent. He holds my cold hands with his warm ones, saying full of concern, "I'm sorry. I don't mean it... It's just that..."

"It's just that you're too fucked up. And it's just that it's true," I complete his sentence for him.

What happen next is beyond my expectation...

I've expected my tears, I've expected his tears, I've expected my breakdown, I've expected his leaving...

But none of these happened.

In fact, one of his hands presses hard on my shoulder all of a sudden. I'm afraid of what I see in the dark, pure provoked lust that burns in his eyes.

"What are you... Uhm?!" a passionate kiss that aims to shut me up fills my mouth cavity, what a surprise.

With him dominating my senses, I can't think straight. I struggle to escape from his perfection, though I know there's no way I can win over this man. His hot, wet tongue messes in my mouth, seeking for the inner devil in me.

My tongue so that it doesn't meet with his, but there is simply no room for it to escape. I refuse to give in to the temptation, but he keeps sucking my lips and tasting my mouth. Without realizing it, a stream of tear rolls down from my left eye.

What is it?

Why?

Shinichi doesn't give in, but goes further by putting the other of his hands on my groin. He squeezes and rubs it with his rough, violent movement. I want to scream to tell him to stop, but with his mouth covering mine, I can't.

My body disagrees with my mind. I cum. It is then I realize I'm not worn with underwear, because the wetness spreads all over in between my legs. I know it's normal for unconscious patient, but... Hell why didn't they just put it on for me?!

He apparently feels where his hand lies is damp and warm, that's why he pulls down my pants. I kick aimlessly to make it difficult for him but he single-handedly pulls the lose pants down to my knees.

The sensation thrills me that my skin is covered with goose-bumps and I feel hot that I begin to sweat when he rubs me even harder without the piece of hindrance.

I feel the muscles of my legs are contracted and cramped due to the pleasure he forces me to have. I hide how much I enjoy it by not moving an inch of my limbs, but it hurts my body even worse. My fists are clenched tight while my feet are digging deeper into the mattress.

Out of the blue, his lips depart from mine. Just as I thought I'm going to cry a determined 'no' to him, all that I hear from myself is just a deep and intense groan. Ashamed, I open my eyes slowly, but what I see is traces of tears that reflect the light from outside on his face.

"Why? Just admit it, you want me. And believe me, I want you, ONLY YOU. I didn't realize back then, but I do now. And I think you should realize it too," his words echoes and imprints in my heart. Though he's still crying, but his voice is steady and resolute.

For a long time, both of us stay quiet, though not tranquil. I sob mutely in the dark while the lower part of my body is still feeling the effect of his hand job, he impatiently wipes his tears off, looking up to stop them from flowing.

"Sorry for behaving like this," he says apologetically after calming himself, "I'll leave now, as you wish." He turns to face the exit and make his way to the door.

"Don't go," I beg in my shaky, hoarse voice. It's something that I cannot have my mind straight to think about, but something that I can only feel to know it. Right now, right here, I want him by my side, I want him on me, and I want him to know I believe in what he says...

As if my words acts like a spell, his feet are glued to the ground. Slowly, he turns to face me again, "what do you want me to do?" His eyes are miserable, so is his voice.

"Love me," not a pled, not a demand, but a statement, because as much as I want to, he wants it too. I don't wanna lose him now; I'm looking right at the other half of me.

"I couldn't get any bigger," he says as he take a few steps to me, "with anyone else beside of me; and now it's clear as this promise that we're making two reflections into one." I react to his word without any word, but strip off my pants that stopped at my knees.

When love takes over, no word is ever needed. With swift and dexterous movements, he climbs onto my bed. This time, I refuse to hide my agitation when he kneels in between my legs and has his head down.

I moan as he kisses and licks my pubic. I feel the hot dripping liquid of mine mixing with his saliva, right before he swallows it. The man is so confident in what he does, and it's driving me crazy.

With the scent of me filling in his mouth, he kisses all way up to my navel, and then impatiently unbuttons my shirt. His smirks in excitement when he sees there is nothing but my bare skin that lies underneath the shirt.

He buried his head into between my breasts. I feel the tip of his nose attempt to touch my sternum, and succeed for a few times. He moves to the left, closer to my heart, drawing circles on my breast with his tongue. The movements feels so erotic but loving, charging my soul.

It's surprising when he suddenly enters me, while I'm suppressing moans out of the pleasure from his roguish tongue. The hardness dwells deep into me in one shot, I can't help but gasp because of the delightful pain he makes me feel. I'm not ready for it, not at all.

He dumbfounds me again, in a good way.

I didn't even know when he removed his jeans.

He kisses me in everywhere his lips can reach, touches me in everywhere his hands can feel. I am totally burning in the flame of sensation. He thrusts in and out in a rhythmic but rough way; I lose control of myself under him.

I felt small and vulnerable since the day I was born, there's not a thing I could do against any of the war raging in my life. But I had yet to feel this vulnerable, yet contradicting strong, not until I meet him.

I love how dangerously much I rely on this man, how unreasonably deep I believe in him, and how uncontrollably high I desire in him. Due to the irresistible feelings I have in him, I feel so fragile; but now because of his confirmation for sharing the same feeling of mine, I feel so indestructible. All I have is for him, because only he knows the key to own me.

As he is still busy thrusting me, I feel a drop of tear, unknowingly, rolls down from the corner of my eye. I blink, only to feel more tears streaming.

Shinichi moans intensely. His liquid bursts into me, mixing with mine. He continues with his motions, although I can already feel the leaking liquid is wetting my legs as well as the hospital bed. He stops upon hearing my feminine moans sound more and more like sobbing.

"What's wrong?" he whispers into my ear while still in me. He kisses my cheek to comfort me.

I shake my head, smiling; I hear my voice shivers a little as I say, "nothing. I'm just, glad that you're mine."

"Baka..." he plants a kiss on my lips, short but exciting, yet calming, "I'm yours, forever."

He collapses on me, breathing heavily. I love how the hot and hydrating breaths fall behind my ears, how the masculine but gentle arms hold my waist from behind. We share the small, crowded hospital bed for the rest of the night. We fall asleep in each other's existence.

Reply to my dear guest reviewer

Someone Else, now I'm back, back for good! Thank you for your compliment, I hope I'm improving, because you see, English isn't my first language and I Google a lot while writing.
I will definitely have another DC fic, but it will probably take longer time for me to update, because starting from next week, I'll do my pre U. And I have no intention at all to kill Ai-chan, because the fear for death of herself isn't the major part of her suffering, but the fear for death of the ones she cares is.