"Hey Melinda," Olivia answered her phone and saw her friend's name flash up. "Business or pleasure?" she asked, light-heartedly.
"Neither," Melinda's voice was somber. "Liv, is Alex with you? She's not answering her phone."
"She's in court this morning. Is it something I can help with?" Olivia was worried at the tone of Melinda's voice. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Melinda was uncharacteristically hesitant. She hated making phone calls like this. "I've just been called in to Mercy. Liv," she tried to be gentle. "I've been called in because there's been an outbreak of meningitis. Eleven infected so far. And I was just looking at the list of the names. Liv, the eleventh patient's name is Jane Kazinsky."
Olivia felt sick. "It could be a different J...," she started.
"It isn't," Melinda said. "Bus picked her up from their apartment. I called down, apparently Sarah's with her. They're just about to do a lumbar puncture. I don't have any more information yet, but I knew you'd want to know."
Olivia nodded, forgetting that Melinda couldn't see her through the phone. "Thanks," she tried to stop her voice shaking. "I'll go pick Alex up from the courthouse. I'll call Carolyn. Oh God, and Joe. Look, Mel, I know you're going to be real busy. But if you can ..."
"I'll find out how she is and I will call you. I promise," Melinda said.
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"We'll be there in less than ten minutes," Olivia tried to reassure a distraught Alex. Olivia had rushed to the court house, and learned that Alex would be out of court within the next 15 minutes, so she had accepted a cup of tea from Casey while she phoned both Joe and Carolyn. She had offered to pick them both up, but Carolyn had said it would be quicker for her to get a cab from the gallery, and Joe was being given a ride by Vanessa, who wanted to come too.
Alex nodded. She swallowed. "Sarah didn't call," she said eventually.
"That means she's still with her. So that's good. They're letting her stay with her."
"I should call Amy. Ask her to pick up Lily after pre-school. Maybe she can take Maisie from Rosie, and Wiggle?"
"We're nearly there," Olivia knew that she had to be the calm one. "We'll just find out what's happening. Then you can call, when you know more."
"'kay," Alex said quietly.
Olivia reached over, and took Alex's cold hand, squeezing it. She released it, and reached into the back seat, grabbing the warm sweater that she had forgotten to take into the apartment the previous night. She passed it to Alex. "You're cold," she said. "Put that on." She knew that Alex's first reaction to shock was to shiver.
Alex fumbled with the garment, her hands not wanting to co-operate. Eventually she got it over her head and pulled it down. The thick wool warmed her, and she didn't care how the heavy sweater looked over her expensive pantsuit.
Olivia smiled. "It's a good look," she said gently. And it was. Somehow Alex looked good, whatever she wore.
Alex gave her a weak smile. As they turned the corner, she recognized the hospital building. It didn't make sense. Jay was so young, so vital. She was strong, and fit, and healthy.
Olivia parked the car expertly, and was already opening Alex's door while Alex still fumbled with the lock. She held out her hand to help Alex out of the car. Alex stood for a couple of seconds as she centered herself. Alex looked up. "Let's do this," she tried to sound strong. She took Olivia's hand, as they strode toward the elevator.
"You must be able to tell us something," Carolyn's voice echoed down the corridor. She sounded desperate.
Alex nodded to Olivia, who placed a soft hand on Carolyn's shoulder, and guided her to a seat.
Alex took out her ADA's badge and slapped it on the counter. "I don't need any of your confidentiality bullshit. I need to know about your patient Jane Kazinsky. Yes, I know," she waved aside the nurse's protests. "You're not authorized. Go find me someone who is."
Within ten minutes, Olivia, Alex and Carolyn were settled in the relatives' room. Jay was currently undergoing a lumbar puncture, a procedure they had had to delay as she had had a major seizure upon her arrival at the hospital. Yes, they were told, her wife was with her. Yes, she would be allowed to stay with her. And yes, once the spinal tap was done and the patient was settled, one of them – the doctor was very firm on that – would be allowed to visit with the patient and her wife.
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Sarah felt as if she were in a movie. A horror movie. Only four hours ago, Jay had been fine. Okay, she had been a little under the weather, but she had been talking, and smiling, and teasing. She had kissed Sarah goodbye. She had promised her she was okay. And now … now it had all gone to hell.
Sarah knew she would never forget witnessing her wife's convulsions. She had read about these things, hell she'd seen enough of them on those medical dramas that always seemed to be on the television. But she had never really thought what it would be like to have it happen to someone you loved. And she knew that it wouldn't all be neatly tied up in 44 minutes like a tv drama. As the nurse told her how to hold Jay as they prepped her for the lumbar puncture, that much was obvious.
Jay was deeply unconscious and, while Sarah was glad she she wasn't suffering the agonies of earlier, she was still clearly very distressed. Sweat poured off her, and she was making strange, pitiful sounds.
"Like this," the nurse said in a quiet voice, as she maneuvered Jay onto her side, and pulled her legs up to her chest. "Hold her close. This is the best way to open up the vertebrae, to get the needle in."
As Sarah clung on to her unconscious wife, she looked over to the tray, and saw the biggest needle she had ever seen in her life. She tried not to cry as the nurse started to swab Jay's back, but she couldn't help herself. Her life had fallen apart so quickly.
The doctor was kind, and he carried out the procedure efficiently. Sarah couldn't tell if the deep moan from Jay was as a result of the needle, or just an automatic reflex.
Within a few minutes, it was all over. The doctor smiled at Sarah. "This will make sure she's getting the right drugs. I'll leave Cara to settle you in," he nodded at the nurse.
"Okay," Cara said. "We'll just lie her down here," she helped Sarah to prise Jay's fingers off her shirt. Even in her unconscious state, Jay had clung to her wife. "That's it, that's good," she said as Sarah lowered Jay's head to the pillow, smoothing her hand across her feverish brow. "I'm just going to give her a quick wipe-down. Unless you want to do it?" she held out the soapy washcloth.
Sarah nodded. Tenderly, she started to wash Jay, wiping the sweat from her face and upper chest. She tried not to cry when she saw the ugly rash on her breast and side, which looked even angrier than before.
Cara was watching her, and spotted Jay's jewelry. "It would be best to remove all piercings," she said gently. "And her rings. Anything that could restrict blood flow is not good right now."
Sarah nodded, not noticing the tears streaming down her face. With shaking hands, she reached and gently removed the piercings from Jay's nipple, nodding gratefully as Cara held out a paper pill cup to drop them in. She bit back a sob as she took off Jay's wedding rings, noticing that her fingers had started to swell a little. She shook her head when Cara held out the cup. "I'm just gonna...," she whispered, as she started to untie the leather thong bracelet that Jay wore around her left wrist. It was not much more than a shoelace, and it wrapped three times round Jay's wrist. Sarah fumbled with the knot, thinking how much she loved to see Jay wear it. It didn't even count as jewelry, but it was … so Jay.
Once she had untied it, she slipped both rings onto the leather cord, and tied it around her own neck, tucking it into her shirt. "I'll keep them close to my heart, until I can put them back on you, my darling," Sarah whispered.
She finished wiping her down, and took the hospital gown from Sarah, slipping Jay's arms into the sleeves, not bothering to tie it up at the back. She knew that they would be changing it soon; it was already damp with Jay's sweat.
Sarah felt suddenly light-headed, and was grateful to Cara who helped her into a chair. Cara leaned over Jay, and fixed a nasal cannula. "That should help," she said, as she adjusted her IV. "She's on a massive dose of antibiotics," she said, crouching at Sarah's knee, and holding out a tissue. "They're real good here. If anyone I loved had meningitis, I'd bring them right here," she spoke kindly.
"Will she... I mean, can they? … is she?" Sarah could barely speak.
Cara took her hand. "There are no guarantees of anything at this point. But I will promise you this, if anyone can make her better, we can."
"Can I stay with her? We're married. I mean … I know it doesn't count in New York. But I've got our marriage certificate...," desperately Sarah fumbled in her pocket, looking for her wallet where she kept a copy of the certificate.
"Stop," Sarah said. "It's okay. Nobody's going to kick you out. As long as you go to the canteen three times a day for food – and they serve real quick here – we're not gonna argue."
Sarah's shoulders slumped. "Thank God," she whispered. "I couldn't … not alone. I can't leave her."
"And you won't have to. Though," Cara smiled. "If you're hanging around, I gotta give you this," she held up a syringe. "Antibiotic, and then vaccine. You okay with needles?"
Sarah nodded, and rolled up her sleeve.
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Olivia hugged Carolyn tight before she left the room to go and visit her daughter and daughter-in-law. "Tell them we love them both. So much," she spoke for Alex, who was mute with misery.
Carolyn nodded. "She's going to be alright," she spoke with determination.
Olivia sat next to Alex and gathered her in her arms. "It's okay to cry," she said quietly.
"I know. I … if I start, I'm scared I won't stop. And I don't want Sarah to think we're giving up on her. We're not. It's … it's just so awful."
"I know baby. We need to pray, and to be strong for them. However this pans out, we're going to have to be the strong ones."
"And we will," Alex said. She heard the door opening, and saw Melinda make her way into the room.
Melinda sat on the other side of Alex, and put her hand on her leg. "I don't have much to tell you. It is meningitis. And it's bacterial."
"That's the bad one, right?" Alex wanted to be sick.
Melinda nodded. "It's not untreatable. She's on an extremely high dose of antibiotics."
"Is it helping?" Olivia asked.
"It's too early to say," Melinda admitted. "She's deeply unconscious. She's gravely ill. But she's very fit, and young. And she has a lot to live for. Sarah's holding her, talking to her. She's being so brave. If love could cure her, she'd be better already."
"When will we know?" Alex asked, frightened of the answer.
"She could be delirious for days. The longer she's like this, the greater the risk of brain damage, other side effects," Melinda didn't go into detail. But she knew her friends were smart. They knew about the risks of deafness, septicaemia, aneurisms...
"It was the little boy, huh?" Olivia asked.
Melinda nodded.
"How is he?" Alex wanted to know.
"He's very sick. They're trying to get his fever down."
"What about his family?" Olivia hated the thought of the child being alone.
"They died in the fire."
"So, even if he makes it, his future's with CPS?" Alex held tighter to Olivia's hand.
"One step at a time," Melinda spoke gently. "Let's just concentrate on Jay, and make sure we get her well."
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Jay was delirious and shaking, her breaths coming in short gasps. "She's so hot," Sarah said, her voice breaking with emotion, as she held a cool cloth to her forehead.
Cara took her temperature. "I'll be right back." In three minutes, she was back with a trayful of ice packs, which she proceeded to pack around Jay. She looked up at one of the monitors, and unhooked the oxygen mask, placing it over her mouth. "This should help her a little."
Carolyn stood behind Sarah, and put a hand on her shoulder.
The doctor entered.
"105.2," Cara said quietly.
The doctor nodded. "More ice," he said. "Much more." He picked up Jay's chart, flipping through the pages. He wrote something down, and then went over to her IV where he injected three syringes. "More antibiotics, and a sedative," he told Sarah and Carolyn.
"She's worse?" Carolyn asked.
"She's not got any better yet," the doctor hedged. "We're doing everything we can."
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"Can you go?" Alex asked. "I wanna stay here with Joe and Vanessa."
Joe sat, mired in misery. He was usually so full of life, so vital. Always the life and soul of the party. But he had returned from Jay's room half an hour before, and he had barely spoken. He and Carolyn had agreed to take turns, since only two people were allowed with Jay at any one time. But he couldn't grasp what was happening to his only child.
"Of course," Olivia said softly. "I'll have my phone on the whole time. And I'll be back tomorrow, as soon as I've dropped Lily at pre-school."
"I'll walk you to the car," Alex stood on shaky legs.
In the underground parking lot, Olivia took Alex in her arms. They kissed, deeply and tenderly, as they both tried to convey their love for each other. They finally pulled back, and Alex rested her forehead on Olivia's. Olivia just held her. There was no hurry. Alex centered herself. "I forgot to tell you," she said, a small smile gracing her lips.
"Oh yeah?"
"Caryn's pregnant. Nearly four weeks. They were going to keep quiet about it, but … well, you know Caryn."
Olivia smiled. "That's wonderful. We just have to pray that it's only the first bit of good news we're going to get."
Alex turned to head back upstairs. She took three steps, and turned around. "Liv?" she called, just as Olivia was about to step into the car.
Olivia looked up.
"I love you," Alex said. "I love you."