"So, Ms Wright," the technician said. "We're going to do the scan first, and then you'll see the doctor. So you can address any concerns you may have."
"I don't have any concerns," Caryn hated anything medical, and couldn't wait for this to be over.
"That's fair," Abbie failed to hide her sarcasm. "If you don't mind throwing up three hours every day."
Caryn gave her the stink eye.
The technician looked amused, as she applied the gel to Caryn's stomach. "A lot of women suffer badly," she said, sympathetically. She looked closely at the screen.
Caryn was watching her anxiously, and her heart dropped when she saw the technician's look of surprise, which she tried to hide. Caryn reached out for Abbie's hand, feeling comfort when her lover's fingers closed around her own.
The technician saw their reaction, and she smiled. "Don't be anxious."
"Is something wrong?" Abbie asked.
"Nothing's wrong. It's all looking good. Though you might want to prepare yourselves. Tell me, ladies, do you have much experience with twins?" the technician's eyes twinkled with humor.
"Twins?" Abbie gasped. She stared at Caryn who, for probably the first time in her life, was speechless. "So that's why you're showing so early."
"And it could be a reason behind the excessive morning sickness," the technician added.
Caryn was staring at Abbie. "So you think I'm fat?"
Abbie snorted. "Yeah. You're obese. I can barely bring myself to look at you." In just the last few days, Abbie had decided that the best form of defense when Caryn turned on her was attack. This approach had varying degrees of success, and today she was appalled to see tears gathering in Caryn's eyes. "Oh my God, you don't believe me? CW, are you on drugs? You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I was yanking your chain. Oh God, Caryn," she got up from her chair to embrace her properly, holding her as she sobbed. "You've never listened to me before, why the hell are you listening to me today, instead of calling me on my bullshit?"
Caryn clutched at Abbie, unable to work out why she was feeling so emotional. She felt overwhelmed.
The technician shifted awkwardly. She felt as though she were intruding, as the two women held each other. They had been sniping at each other from the moment they arrived, but the love between them was palpable. She knew it took all sorts to make a family, but she could see that these two were as close as she had ever seen. She gave them a few minutes, before she said quietly, "so, you want to hear your babies' heartbeats?"
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Amy cupped the back of Robyn's head, her fingers fisting in her blonde hair, as she tried to pull her closer into her. She was gasping as she felt the exquisite sensations caused by Robyn's tongue, and she knew she couldn't hold back any longer. As her climax seared through her, sending all her nerve endings into overdrive, she found herself overwhelmed with emotion.
Robyn climbed back up her body, shocked to see Amy's face contorted in misery. "Oh my God. Amy. Amy, baby, what is it? Did I hurt you?" she tried to touch Amy's face, and felt as though she had been slapped when Amy jerked away from her. "You should have told me to stop. I'll always stop. Did I force you to...?"
"It's not that," Amy gulped. "You … you were incredible. You always are. You never do anything I don't want you to do. I can't bear it, Rob. I just can't bear it," her words were almost incoherent.
"Can't bear what, Amy? You're not making sense."
"What happened to Jay. It could happen to you. This time next week, I could be at your funeral," Amy was suddenly angry. "You could die. How can you do it? Make love to me as if I'm the only thing that matters, and then leave me."
"I'm not leaving you," Robyn's voice cracked. "I'll never leave you. You're the only thing I care about."
"So why won't you leave the Fire Department?" Amy snapped. "Am I not enough for you? Do you need that thrill? Does it turn you on?" she knew her words were vicious and unwarranted, but she couldn't stop herself. "Can you only get off if your life has been in danger that day?"
"Ames, where is this coming from?" Robyn tried to take her hand.
"Why can't you just retire, goddammit?" Amy pushed her away, barely aware as Robyn's hip connected with the hard edge of the bed. "Do I mean so little to you?"
Robyn felt her own anger rising, made worse by the sudden pain in her hip. "You knew I was a firefighter when we started out. I've always been completely honest with you. And I'm real careful, you know I am."
"Jay's careful too!" Amy yelled.
"She could have caught meningitis anywhere," Robyn tried to reason.
"She was told to exit the building. If she had done as she was told, she'd still have all her fingers! But no, she had to play the hero, like all you lot. You think you're invincible." Amy's face was twisted with anger.
"If she had left, that boy would be dead."
"Instead of an orphaned cripple?"
At that moment, Robyn's cellphone rang. She recognized the ringtone, and her heart sank.
Amy looked at her incredulously.
"I have to get this," Robyn said. She was shaking, and she felt sick. She didn't know where all this anger had come from. "Sir?" she spoke into the phone. "Sure thing. I'll be there ASAP." She hung up, and nervously turned around to see Amy's face.
Amy looked unbelievably angry.
"We'll talk about this later," Robyn headed for the shower. As the stood under the pounding water, she tried desperately to get a hold of herself. She wanted to weep, but she had a job to do. She finished her shower in double-quick time, and was startled to see Amy storming around their bedroom, shoving clothes into a bag.
She didn't have time to ask what was going on, as she quickly donned her uniform. As she was pulling on her socks, Amy zipped up the bag and strode out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Robyn took a deep breath, and opened the door. She tried to be calm. "We will talk. It's hard for me, Amy. With my dyslexia, I have hardly any qualifications. It's not like I can just walk into another job."
"I don't care," Amy nodded to the bag by the door. "Take that with you. If you leave this apartment right now, I don't want you to come back."
"Amy? Honey, I can't..."
"Don't honey me," Amy spat. "Don't you dare."
"If I don't go, they'll be short-handed. And that puts the whole team at risk. I couldn't live with myself if someone got hurt because of me."
"But you don't mind putting me through torture every time you put on that damned uniform? Go. Go! I never want to see you again."
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Olivia looked up as she heard the apartment door open. She strode into the hall, her face splitting into a wide grin at the sight of her wife. She pulled her into a tight embrace, and kissed her deeply.
Alex had had the day from hell, and it was now almost 11pm. She had been in the office since 5.50am, after a panicked call from Donnelly telling her that a witness was planning to back out.
"You got her back on side?" Olivia asked her, about the witness.
"Eventually," Alex said. "I had to use all my powers of persuasion."
Olivia smiled. "In my experience, your powers of persuasion are rather potent," she smiled. She traced the bags under Alex's eyes. "You look shattered, baby. Did you get time to eat?"
Alex gave a hollow laugh. "I barely had time to pee today. Casey brought me a croissant for breakfast."
"You've had nothing for 15 hours?" Olivia was appalled.
"Coffee," Alex admitted almost guiltily. "I'm kinda beyond hungry now."
Olivia nodded. She knew how that felt. "Let me do you some scrambled egg, huh? Nice and light?"
Alex nodded. That might stop the churning in her stomach. She let Olivia lead her to the kitchen, and sat wearily in a chair. Olivia draped a large, warm, woolen cardigan around her shoulders. She knew Alex felt the cold more when she was tired.
"So," Olivia said as she slid the plate of eggs in front of her wife. "You did everything you needed to today?"
Alex nodded. "Thanks to Casey," she said as she took a mouthful. "She was fantastic. She stayed the whole time, refused to leave until everything was done." Her face clouded over. "I'm worried about her, Liv."
"Charlie?" Olivia asked. She was aware that things were not always happy at home for their friend, but she knew that Casey wouldn't welcome interference.
"I was on my way back from the bathroom, and I heard her on the phone. I wasn't deliberately eavesdropping. She told him she wouldn't be home tonight, that she was staying with a friend from law school. But later I saw a motel website on her screen. I think she's staying there tonight, so she doesn't have to face him. I know he doesn't like it when she stays late."
"Do you think she's scared of him?"
Alex looked away, as she tried to formulate her words. "I think she's trying to defer things," she said, a little cryptically. "He's leaving for Montana tomorrow, to stay with his mother. I think maybe she's hoping he'll have forgotten by the time he comes back."
"So you think we should talk to her?"
"Honestly? I just don't know what's best," Alex exhaled, sounding miserable. "She knows more about … domestic issues … than almost anyone. There's very little we can tell her that she doesn't already know."
"We can remind her that we're here for her, and that we love her. And that she's worth so much more than this," Olivia said softly.
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Sarah let herself into their apartment. She didn't like to admit it, but she was exhausted. She had been by Jay's side since she had been taken into the hospital, and it was almost three weeks since she had slept in a proper bed. She had not wanted to leave Jay tonight, but her wife had threatened to have her removed by security if she refused to go, and she didn't want to test just how serious she was.
As she stepped into their bedroom, her heart filled with pleasure. Carolyn had told her that she had cleared up after Jay's collapse, so she knew she wouldn't have that to deal with. But she hadn't expected to see freshly waxed floors, and a vase full of flowers on the night stand. Everything was sparklingly clean. She took out her phone. "Mom?" she said, when the phone was answered. "You are wonderful. Thank you so much. I love you." She didn't give Carolyn a chance to answer before she hung up.
Carolyn smiled as she pocketed her own phone. She knew she could never make up for how badly she had treated Sarah in the past, but their relationship was improving all the time. And now she was going to visit her daughter-in-law. She tapped gently on the door, pleased to see that Jay was sitting in her chair, with her back to the door, looking out of the window, rather than lying in bed.
There was no answer to her knock, so she let herself into the room. "Jay?" she called softly. There was still no reply, and it was then that she noticed that there was something off about Jay's body language. Then it hit her. She was crying. As she approached the stricken girl, she could see her shoulders shaking, as she sobbed silently into her right hand. Her left one was stuffed into the pocket of her sweat top.
"Jay?" Carolyn called again. She didn't want to startle the girl.
Jay turned and looked at her, her face one of pure devastation.
Carolyn didn't hesitate. She stood in front of Jay, and gathered her carefully into her arms. She didn't say anything, she just held her, trying to convey her love and support.
It was nearly half an hour later when Jay's weeping finally slowed. Carolyn helped her to sit back in the chair, and wrapped a warm blanket around her. She crouched at her knee, and took her hand. "So this is why you wanted Sarah to go home tonight?" she said, very softly, understanding completely her motivations.
"Partly," Jay said weakly, struggling more than usual to get her words out. "Sometimes... just … too much. You know?"
"I know," Carolyn whispered. She ran a finger down Jay's cheek. "She's strong, you know. Sarah. You can talk to her."
Jay shook her head. "Not … fair. Already too much … for her. Worse for her."
"She wants to help you."
"But that's it. Already … helpless." Jay took her hand out of her pocket, and stared at it. "I'm useless," she said, sadly.
"Jane Kazinsky, you listen to me. You are far from useless. I can't think of anyone who is more capable, or stronger than you are."
"Strong?" Jay snorted, holding out her good hand, and watching it shake with a sad look on her face.
Carolyn took her hand softly between both of her own. "You're still recovering. But you will recover. And we're all behind you. Every step of the way. I don't think you have any idea how important you are to us all. And to the world. Do you even know how many people you've saved?"
"Baby died," Jay's breathing hitched.
"I know. And I'm so sorry. But her brother didn't, and that's thanks to you. He's going to be okay, Jay," Carolyn made a sudden decision. "Come with me," she said. "I want to show you something. Will you let me take you to see something?" she was loath to take control away from Jay, who was already struggling with her disability issues.
"'kay," Jay said miserably.
Carolyn took her down the corridor and into the elevator. They traveled up three floors. Jay couldn't hear what was being said as Carolyn spoke quietly to the nurse at the reception desk. "This is Jane Kazinsky. She rescued Tomász Marek. Yes, she's the one that got sick too. We won't go in. I just want her to see the difference that she makes. She's having a tough day."
The nurse smiled, and pressed a button. A moment later, a male nurse appeared. "Doug, can you escort these ladies to Tomász's room? No, they won't wake him up, they just want to look through the glass."
Jay stared at the small huddle under the blankets. "He's okay?" she whispered.
"He's got a way to go," Doug said gently. "He's in shock at the moment, he hasn't spoken since it all happened. But he's communicating with the nursing staff using gestures, and he smiled at me today. He likes jigsaws," Doug smiled.
"Damage?" Jay made sure her own hand was hidden.
"Left leg," Doug told her. "Just above the knee. But the operation was very successful. And kids are resilient."
"How … long? Here?" Jay was frustrated. Her earlier crying jag had sapped her energy, and she found it harder than ever to speak clearly.
"Another two months is my guess. He doesn't have a family, and the doctors don't want to send him to Children's Services before they can fit him with a prosthetic. He'll have enough to cope with anyway."
Jay nodded, and unconsciously placed her uninjured hand on the window. "Can I visit?"
Doug smiled. "Sure, if you want to. He'll be glad of the company. We do our best, but it's hard to find enough time. He could do with a friend."