I am so inspired, and I have no idea why, but I'm gonna go with it.
So enjoy.
"We should probably change out of these wet clothes before we catch cold," Hermione said awkwardly still standing very close to Severus.
"Yes, I suppose we should," Severus said turning towards the stairs. The two went up and quickly exchanged their wet clothes for dry ones. Hermione was done first, and went downstairs to settle on the couch. She started a fire and wrapped herself in the large green blanket.
Hermione couldn't seem to think straight. She kept thinking back to the kiss, and she felt this wonderful little bubble of happiness form in her chest. It would pop though when her brain came out of shock, and began to think of how difficult this would be for both of them. Severus has had abuse as his only sexual experience, and Hermione wasn't exactly the one in control during her few sexual encounters.
"You're thinking very deeply," Severus's deep voice brought her up into the moment.
"Was I?" She asked scooting over to make room for him to sit down.
"You had the deepest look of thought I've ever seen on a person," Severus joked sitting beside her.
"Well, there is a good deal for me to think about I suppose," Hermione admitted.
"Such as?" Severus asked still joking.
"Us," Hermione said simply.
Severus looked at her like she'd squirted him with a water gun. "Us?" He asked her.
"Yes, what are we, what happens next? I'm not exactly sure what's supposed to happen next." Hermione said trying to clarify.
"I couldn't tell you," Severus said shifting subtlety away from Hermione and hunching in on himself.
Hermione reached over and lightly put a hand on his back, he flinched when he felt the contact but didn't pull away. "I'm not saying that we have to do anything else if you're uncomfortable," Hermione said soothingly lightly rubbing small circles with her hand on his back. "We don't even have to be a thing, if you don't want," Hermione added quietly.
"I do want it," Severus said fervently. "That's the problem, I've never had good luck when it came to things I want." Severus dropped his head and let his body curl even further into itself.
"I'll always be here if you want me," Hermione said scooting closer to Severus's hunched body.
Severus suddenly turned and wrapped Hermione in a crushing hug. "I wish I believed you," he whispered sadly in her ear.
"I'll just have to prove it," Hermione whispered back.
They sat wrapped up in each other for hours after that silent.
Hermione had never been with someone, where it was comfortable to be this quiet for this long. She liked this comfortable silence.
Eventually Hermione heard Severus's soft breaths deepen into sleep.
"Severus," Hermione whispered quietly shaking him a bit to wake him. Hermione waited a second then shook him lightly again.
Severus came alive swinging.
"Don't touch me," he yelled as he leapt at Hermione.
She was surprised but her reflexes weren't and Severus was immobilized in seconds, his fist stopped mid-trajectory.
"Are you back?" Hermione asked him calmly. She watched him blink his eyes once, then look away from her. "Good, I'm lifting the spell in three…two…one." Hermione let Severus go and watched him crumple to the floor.
"I'm sorry," He said in a shaky voice.
"Don't be it isn't your fault, and I was ready this time. Nothing bad happened, just a little frightening." Hermione said giving him space.
Severus nodded his head a little still staying on the floor.
"I plan on doing all the research I can into getting those under control," Hermione said referring to Severus's night terrors.
Again Severus nodded.
"Do you want to go to bed now?" Hermione asked.
"Has it stopped raining outside?" Severus asked ignoring her question.
"I think so," Hermione said catching where he was going with this.
"Good, I'd like some fresh air then." Severus said standing.
Hermione nodded, and grabbed the green blanket following Severus outside. They sat on the top step of the small patio on the front of the house, both covered by the large warm blanket.
"I've always loved stargazing on clear nights," Hermione sighed leaning her shoulder onto Severus's.
They sat outside until it got too cold to stay out there any longer. Then they both went their separate ways to sleep for what was left of the night. Hermione fell asleep quickly her mind content with the progress she'd made tonight.
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Over the next week Hermione did a good amount of reading on dream spells, and potions, and how they could help suppress certain undesirable types of dreams. Minerva visited again, and asked Hermione when she thought the two would be ready to come back to Hogwarts.
Hermione shrugged an I don't know, and avoided answering the question. She didn't want to set a date without asking Severus when he felt like going back. Hermione herself was rather leery of going back to her chambers. She would still wake up sometimes seeing Severus's blood on the floor, on her hands, everywhere.
"Thank you Minerva I'll send an owl with a day once I have one picked out. Thank you for being so patient." Hermione said to Minerva as she got up to leave.
"It's no problem Hermione both of you have had to deal with a lot recently, it's the least I could do." Minerva then walked into the green flames and back to Hogwarts.
"I am ready to go back to Hogwarts whenever you are Hermione, no need to wait on me." Severus said coming down the stairs as soon as he was sure Minerva was gone.
"I know, why do you feel the need to hide from her?" Hermione asked trying to change the subject.
"I don't need her pity, and if you know I'm fine with going back why aren't we?" Severus asked refusing to let it drop.
"Because I don't want to see that door," Hermione said exasperated. "I'm gonna go take a bath." Hermione then rushed passed Severus and upstairs to the bathroom. Hermione locked the bathroom door, and started filling the tub with warm water and bubbles. She sat down on the floor to wait for the water to get higher, she didn't want to think about why she'd run away from the conversation with Severus, but she couldn't stop her mind from going there on its own.
She truly didn't want to go back and face those memories, she was just getting better at putting it out of her mind, and going back would bring it all vividly to the front of her mind all over again. Hermione took off her clothes and slipped into the warm soapy water. Hermione started crying softly, she knew she'd have to go back and face this demon, but for some reason her Gryffindor courage was failing her.
A knock sounded on the door. "Hermione, can I come in?" Severus's muffled voice interrupted her sobs.
Hermione stayed quiet praying he'd give up and leave her alone.
No such luck, a couple minutes after he knocked the door swung open slowly, and Severus stumbled into the bathroom. He had a hand over his eyes, which she was sure was more for him, than for her.
"I locked that for a reason," Hermione sniffled.
"I hadn't tried my wantless magic out on unlocking doors, I figured it'd be good practice." Severus said sitting down his back pressed agains the tub and his gaze on the door, and not on Hermione's naked form.
"Please leave me be," Hermione begged sniffling slightly.
"I made you cry," Severus said simply. "I wish to fix it." He didn't sound very confident he could though.
"You didn't make me cry, I'm just being stupid," Hermione said still trying to get him to leave.
"Don not lie to me," Severus hissed annoyed.
Hermione stayed silent.
"I'm sorry, I have seen and experienced things you can't even imagine. I saw a way to protect you, and it might have been wrong but, it was the only option I saw." Severus said slowly.
Hermione sighed deeply, she'd wanted this conversation to happen, but now that it was she didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry, I don't know how many times I can apologize before you believe me," Severus said exasperated by her silence.
"You tried to kill yourself," Hermione said bluntly.
"It wasn't the first time," Severus sighed.
Hermione looked at the back of his head for a second. "Look at me," she commanded.
"I don't wish to see things you don't want me to." Severus said not moving.
"Who said I didn't want you to see, and that's not what I'm trying to do just look at me," she said folding her arms over her chest to prove her point.
Severus eventually turned around and looked her dead in the eye.
"You can't ever do that again," Hermione said chocking up a little. "I care about you, and I don't want to be afraid to yell at you, or make you upset, for fear you'll do that agin."
"I'm not an idiot. I can handle most things," Severus said offended.
"You said this has happened before, how do I know it won't happen again. It's really hard for me to think about you being gone." Hermione took a second to collect herself, "and it's going to be hard for me to go back and live in my rooms after what happened there, I'm afraid." Hermione said quietly.
"I know," Severus said still looking at her.
Hermione took a chance and moved quickly stealing a wet kiss from Severus's thin lips.
He looked at her confused as she backed up.
"Now give me a few minutes to get dressed," Hermione said. "Unless you'd like to join me?" Hermione smiled motioning to the now cold water.
Severus smiled at her, but shook his head. "I'll give you ten minutes or I'm coming back in." He then got up and walked back out the door.
Hermione sighed frustrated and started to drain the tub.