Olivia heard Lily's cry through the baby monitor; she immediately switched it off, hoping that Alex would sleep a little longer. It was now three days since the attack, and the only one in the family who was sleeping well was Maisie. She was at Lily's side in seconds.
"It's okay," she rested a soft hand on her back, as she fought invisible demons in her sleep. "It's all okay, baby girl. It's over now."
Slowly, Lily wakened, and realized that she was with her beloved Mama and not with the man who had scared them all so much. "Mama?" her face crumpled, and she started to sob uncontrollably.
Olivia pulled her into her lap and held her close, whispering to her. "It's okay, munchkin. It's never going to happen again. He's locked away now, and your Auntie Liz is going to make sure he stays in prison for a real long time. You're safe. We're all safe."
"Mommy?" Lily hiccuped.
"Mommy's good too. She's still sleeping, but I swear to you she's okay."
"Mommy got hurt."
"She'll be better real soon. And you saved her from getting hurt any worse. Shh," she rocked her until she started to calm a little. "Let's get you some fresh pajamas, huh?" Olivia started to unbutton her sweaty pajama top. "How'd'you like to spend the rest of the night with me and Mommy?"
Lily nodded, cheering slightly. She was reassured by the prospect of seeing for herself that her Mommy was okay, though she knew that Olivia would never lie to her. Soon, she was redressed in nice warm pajamas, and happily allowed Olivia to carry her through to their room. Within minutes, the exhausted child had fallen to sleep between her mothers.
Even in her sleep, Alex was aware of the child snuggling in, and she placed a protective hand on her back, reaching for Olivia with the fingers of the same hand.
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"You've done very well," Dr Baker spoke gently to a shaken Amy. "We still have a lot of work to do, but you seemed calmer today, didn't you think, Robyn?"
Robyn nodded, her hand gentling Amy's back. She didn't believe it though. To her, Amy seemed just as agitated as ever, and they didn't seem to have made much progress into her past.
"There's a long way to go," Dr Baker kept her voice calm. "And we need to deal with your trust issues, too, Amy. It might help if you were to come in alone."
Amy paled, as she felt her panic rising. She couldn't do this alone. She shook her head vehemently. "No. I need Rob. I can't … not without her. I just ..."
"Okay," the doctor said quietly. "We won't think about that for a while, as long as Robyn's still okay to come in with you."
Robyn nodded. "Whatever she needs," she said. "I'm here," she addressed Amy, who was struggling to hold herself together. "I'll be here for as long as you need me."
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"I don't want it spread around, not just yet," Olivia told a beaming Cragen. "Just Elliot, and Munch and Fin. Unless it becomes necessary. I didn't want to say anything at all, but Alex insisted."
"And she was right," Cragen smiled. "It's desk duty from now on, Detective. I won't tell anyone why, don't worry. Though you should probably tell Elliot yourself."
"I will. Tomorrow, if that's okay. I want to take Alex to her hospital appointment myself this afternoon, is that okay? She says she'll be fine on her own, but she can't drive yet, not with her hand, and ..."
"Benson, stop," Cragen smiled. "You've already asked for the time off. In fact," he looked at his watch, "leave a half hour early."
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Olivia helped an exhausted Alex to bed. Alex was getting frustrated with her slow recovery, and kept trying to do too much, and today had really wrenched her ribs without realizing she had done it. Tenderly, Olivia removed her clothes, being careful not to jar her splinted hand. She applied antibiotic ointment to the deep scrapes on her back, her touch so light that Alex barely winced. She then did the same to Alex's sore knuckles. Finally, she dropped a light nightshirt over her head, and eased her arms into it.
Alex looked up at her gratefully. "Girls still asleep?"
"So far, so good," Olivia smiled.
"You switched on the monitor in Lily's room?"
"Of course," Olivia said softly.
"I hate that he's made her so scared," Alex said, anger in her voice. "She's just a little girl."
"She'll be okay. We'll take care of her. She's strong, just like her Mommy," Olivia stroked Alex's cheek. She handed Alex her painkillers. "No arguments," she said.
Alex smiled wanly. "I'm not gonna give you any," she tried not to wince as she reached out for the pills.
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Wednesday morning
"Call me, as soon as you get there," Caryn said to Abbie, after strapping Daniel into the car.
"I swear," Abbie was surprised by how emotional she felt. She was taking Daniel to see his father Jeff in Washington, and planned to return on Friday without Daniel, who would stay a few more days and come back to NYC with Jeff on the following Tuesday. But, now that the day had arrived, she hated leaving Caryn, even for 48 hours. She ran her hand lovingly over her lover's distended belly. "Three months to go, huh?" she whispered, wonder in her voice.
"Just under," Caryn caught her hand and pressed it harder against her. She then pulled it down to her jean-clad center, and pushed it gently. "I'm going to miss you so much," her voice cracked with desire.
Abbie took her face in both hands and kissed her languorously, reveling in the taste of her lover's soft lips, and the sensation when their tongues tangled erotically. "Oh God, CW," Abbie's voice was even lower than usual. "Shit, you have no idea what you do to me."
Caryn pulled back reluctantly, her grin making it clear that she knew exactly what she did to Abbie. She looked at her watch. "You don't want to miss your flight," she let her fingers ghost over a soft breast.
Abbie swallowed, and nodded. "What about you?"
"I don't have to be in for another two hours. I was thinking," Caryn 'accidentally' brushed Abbie's gratifyingly hard nipple, "I might take a shower. A long shower," she winked.
"I'm gonna make you pay," Abbie made her way to the driver's door.
"Is that a promise?"
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"I'm not sure it would be wise, at this point," Dr Lindstrom said to Casey.
"But I love my work," Casey said, mulishly. "It's the one good thing in my life."
"And if you were working in the tax office, I might agree that it could help. But Casey, you'll be dealing with sexual assaults, and predators, all day. Can you really tell me you're comfortable around people all the time now? You and Wheels were talking about you getting out more, even if it's only with her. Tell me, how often do you leave the apartment?"
Casey looked at her shoes, her face coloring. Furiously, she blinked away tears. She hated that Charlie had done this to her.
"I'm not saying never," Dr Lindstrom's gentle voice broke into her thoughts. "I'm just saying, give it a few weeks. See if you can relax a little. See your friends, their children. See how you cope first."
Casey nodded. She knew he was right, but she still hated him for saying it. When the hour was up, she scrambled out of the office as soon as she decently could, relieved to see dear, lovely, Wheels waiting for her. She slipped her hand in Wheels's. "Home?" Wheels spoke gently.
"Please," Casey said.
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"Jay, come see this!" Sarah clapped excitedly as Tomász used his crutches to move nimbly across the room. "Tommy, that's great!"
Tomász beamed; he had made his new mommies happy.
Jay came into the living room, leaning on her cane, in time to see him do a fast turn and bound back to Sarah. She lowered herself onto the couch, wiping surreptitiously at her tears. "You clever boy," she said smiling.
In a few short strides on his crutches, Tomász was in front of her, smiling widely. He looked closely at her. "Don't cry, Mama-Jay," he said.
Jay was stunned. This was the first time he had called her that. She looked up at Sarah, who was equally moved. She held out her arms. "I'm crying because you've made me so happy," she said, thrilled as he clambered onto the couch for a hug.
Sarah sat next to her wife and son, and reached for Jay's right hand, squeezing it gently.
Tommy turned to Sarah. "You're crying too, Mommy," he said.
"Only 'cos I love you," Sarah's voice cracked. "So, since you're moving around so well, I have an idea. They've nearly finished the other part of the apartment. Let's go take a look round, and then we'll meet Rosie and the kids at the park."
Tommy nodded enthusiastically. "Will Lily be there?" he idolized the older girl who had been so kind to him, and who was such fun to be with.
"Not today, champ, she's at school. But we're going to see her on Saturday with everyone, 'cos Granny Carolyn's making a picnic for everyone at her house," Jay told him.
"And we're gonna live with Granny Carolyn?"
"Just for a couple of weeks, while they knock down this wall," Sarah patted the dividing wall between the two apartments, "and make this into one real big home. Once it's all done, we'll come back here, and we can decorate your room just how you want it."
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Abbie had just gone through to the departures lounge, having negotiated her way through all the security and other checkpoints. It all seemed so simple on her own, but with an antsy toddler, everything was ten times harder. Fortunately, Daniel had at last fallen to sleep in his stroller. She thanked God for an understanding check-in girl who had immediately upgraded her, as she made her way to the business-class lounge for a much-longed-for cup of coffee.
She had just sat down with the coffee when her phone beeped. She saw that it was a message from Caryn, and pressed the button. She gasped when she saw a close up photograph of Caryn's large, wet breast, with its very erect nipple in the middle of the screen. She only just stopped herself from spilling hot coffee on herself. Missing me? the message read.
Abbie felt her mouth go dry. Caryn knew damned well what effect her actions would have on her, and she knew that it would be hours before Abbie could take matters into her own hands. I hate you, she texted.
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"Amy? Amy, honey, it's just a nightmare," Robyn put a soft hand on Amy's shaking back. She didn't want to frighten Amy, but she was keen to make sure that she didn't go into a full-blown panic attack. Amy was gasping and moaning with fear, her face contorted.
"Amy, come on honey," Robyn kept talking to her as she sprinted to the bathroom, returning with a cool, damp washcloth. She sat next to her, and wiped her face tenderly, bathing her neck and upper chest which were glistening with sweat. "Come on, baby. That's it," Amy blinked as the nightmare started to recede. "That's good, Ames. Hey, it's just me. Just you and me. Nobody else is here," she folded the washcloth and laid it comfortingly across Amy's brow. "There," she whispered as Amy struggled to sit up.
Robyn helped to lever her into a semi-sitting position, pulling her into her own lap as the floodgates opened and Amy began to sob. "There, my darling. It's over. Whatever you were remembering, it's done now. It's just you and me. We have all of our lives together. We're going to make the future good. Good girl," she held her close.
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"She needs more," Robyn whispered urgently into the phone. Amy had, at long last, fallen into a fretful sleep and, now that the therapist's office was open, Robyn was determined to get her some help. "Once a week … it's not enough. She's lost so much weight, I'm scared for her. She tries to eat, but most of the time, she can't hold it down. And her sleeping's getting worse, not better. Okay. I'll tell her. She's asleep now, but I'll tell her. We'll see you later. And thanks."
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"Teflon!" Caryn bellowed down the phone.
"Caryn," Alex smiled. She was very touched by Caryn's attentiveness since Charlie's attack. She called every day to check on Alex, and also to get an update on how Lily was coping. She had even sent over two huge teddy bears for Lily and Maisie, which had thrilled both girls. "How are you?"
"I'm great, Teflon. Just wondering how my bruised colleague is?" her tone was jovial, but she really did want to know. She loved Alex, and Olivia, and their family, and had been more shaken than she had expected by the attack.
"I'm doing well," Alex smiled. "In fact, I've been trying to persuade Liv that I can go back to work."
"No dice, huh?" Caryn chortled.
"How did you guess?" Alex said, drily.
"I know HC, and there's no way she'd let her woman back on the streets until she was ready."
"Her woman?" Alex laughed.
Caryn laughed. "And how's Lily?" her voice softened imperceptibly.
Alex swallowed. This had been the worst thing about the whole situation – the trauma that Lily had suffered. "She went back to pre-school yesterday. She's doing okay."
"Nightmares?"
"Uh huh," Alex wanted to cry.
"Are they getting better or worse?"
"Better, I think. It's hard to tell."
"She'll be okay. I know it. She's a tough cookie."
"I know," Alex said. "She's amazing."
"And how's the other little terror? Is she as beautiful as ever?"
"Maisie's great," Alex relaxed a little. "She's at daycare today, Liv wanted me to get some rest."
"Still not sleeping?"
"I'm okay. Most of the time. But these damned ribs, they're taking for ever. Anyway, enough about us. How are you? Missing Abbie?"
"Oh God, like you wouldn't believe," Caryn tried to keep her voice even. "It's been less than 30 hours, and I can't think about anything but her, and Daniel. Even the terrible twosome can't keep my mind off of them," she rubbed her belly, absent-mindedly.
"Come for dinner," Alex said. "The girls would love to see you. Liv too."
"Teflon, you don't need to do that."
"I know I don't need to. I want to. We want to see you. And I know what it's like when you're lonely."
"I am not lonely!" Caryn said, defensively.
"Face it; you're lonely," Alex said firmly. "And we want to see you. And I'm cooking pot roast tonight, there's always far too much for us. C'mon. Please? Or I'll tell Lily you didn't want to see her?" she teased.
"Okay. For Lily. Not because I'm lonely," Caryn replied.
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As Caryn made her closing argument, she felt confident. They had a good case, and she knew that her arguments throughout the trial had convinced the jury. And her closing words were well-chosen, concise and heart-wrenching. She was just wrapping up, when she saw the door to the court open, to admit Abbie.
Caryn's heart leapt. She hadn't seen Abbie since Tuesday morning. She knew her flight would have landed, but she had assumed that she would go straight home. Instead, she had come here, to watch her.
Caryn knew that Abbie loved watching her in action. Abbie loved the feistiness of her lover, never more so than in court, when she really came into her own as a prosecutor. She saw Abbie wink at her as she slid into her seat.
Abbie took in the sight of her lover; her proud posture, her commanding presence. And her clearly pregnant belly, which she swore had grown just in the last two days. Christ, she was sexy. With any luck, within the next two hours, they would be home together, and she could investigate that beautiful, firm flesh. Abbie could feel her nipples tightening as she dreamed of all the things she would do to Caryn. And there was no Daniel to interrupt proceedings. They wouldn't have to leave the bed all weekend.
As Caryn turned to sit down, her argument complete, when she caught sight of Abbie. Her mouth hung open slightly, and her eyes were glazed. Caryn felt an urgent jolt of desire as she realized that Abbie was turned on. Abbie had told her once that she sometimes masturbated to the image of Caryn in court. Naked. She blushed involuntarily, and looked down at her lap. When she looked up again, Abbie was gone.
The jury took only 40 minutes to find the defendant guilty. Abbie wasn't answering her phone, as Caryn dialed desperately in the cab on the way back to 1 Hogan Place. This, she mused, was probably a good thing.
There was a note on Caryn's desk, in Abbie's messy handwriting. You. Home. Now. I want you.
Caryn snatched up her bag and her coat, and within five minutes was sitting impatiently in the cab, for the first time wishing that they had not bought a house in the suburbs, which necessitated a 40 minute journey home.
Her phone beeped; she couldn't stop herself whimpering at the photograph of Abbie's perfect breasts, and hoped that the cabbie wouldn't notice. She read the message that accompanied the snap: Payback's a bitch, huh?
Caryn flung herself through the front door of their small house. As she strode into the living room, she caught sight of Abbie reclining enticingly on the couch. Naked. Caryn felt her center flood.
Abbie got up from the couch and took Caryn lovingly in her arms. She kissed her passionately, her hands working urgently to relieve Caryn of her clothing. Neither of them spoke; for once, words seemed redundant.
When Abbie had removed all of Caryn's outer garments, she stood back and smiled. Whatever she was doing, Caryn always wore the sexiest lingerie. Today, she was wearing a powder blue matching set. Abbie grinned as she bit down gently on one erect nipple through the blue silk, nearly coming herself at the strangled gasp that Caryn emitted.
Slowly, Abbie worked herself down Caryn's luscious body until she was kneeling in front of her, her mouth open with desire as she saw the spreading damp patch on the blue silk. Slowly, tantalisingly, she eased the tiny garment down Caryn's toned legs, her mouth watering at the prospect of tasting her lover.
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Several hours later
"Seven," Caryn panted as she fell back on the bed. "You made me come seven times," she kissed Abbie.
"Eight," Abbie giggled. "There was that one in the..."
"Oh God, yes. How could I forget? Christ, Abbie. This is … I mean … we never. Shit, you're beautiful," she kissed a rosy nipple.
"Right back at you, Counselor. Right back at you."
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"I'm calling Alex," Elliott held the trashcan as Olivia heaved into it, rubbing her back gently as he did so.
"M'okay," Olivia gasped.
Elliott looked skeptical.
"I'm pregnant, El, not sick. Don't tell me you've never seen morning sickness before."
"With four kids? God, I wish."
Olivia clutched the can as her stomach twisted again. Finally, she sat back.
"All done?" Elliott voice was soft.
"Think so."
He went off to rinse the trashcan, returning a few moments later with a coke. "Drink," he said.
Olivia nodded, gratefully, taking a sip. God, that was good. And she didn't even like coke.
"I'll do you a deal. You crash in the crib for an hour, I won't rat on you to Alex. Okay?"
Olivia looked disgruntled for a moment, but then she nodded. "'kay," she said, defeated.
He held out his hand. She brushed it away impatiently. "I can do stairs, Stabler," she said, defensively. He still followed her closely up to the cribs, risking her wrath.
She sat down tiredly on one of the beds. Without asking permission, Elliott lifted her feet up on to the bed, and helped her to lie down. He brushed the hair from her forehead, and pressed a kiss to it. "I never did say congratulations," he said softly. "That's a lucky kid you're carrying."
Olivia smiled, as she burrowed into her pillow. She really was shattered. "Thanks partner," she whispered.