Time frame: Ellis was 18, Keith was 19
Rating: T
Description: Keith almost dies by being a fool for the millionth time
Did I ever tell you about the time that Keith almost got shot for breaking into a house?
I mean, he almost got shot by ME for breaking into MY house.
I was home one night, and I had a really long day at work so instead of going out for a few beers I went home, ate some food and went right to bed. I was exhausted.
Suddenly I'm jerked out of a dead sleep by some sounds comin from the front room, and I was thinkin, "Shit, someone is in my house. I musta forgot to lock the front door."
So I jumped out of bed and grabbed my gun, pretty damn sure I was about three seconds from fightin off a tweaker. It was in the middle of summer so it stood to reason that someone was whacked out on meth, tryin to find some copper wire or somethin to take. At least my tired brain thought that was reasonable.
I headed into the hallway as quiet as I could and kept the lights off. I took a minute for my eyes to adjust before I turned the corner into the living room.
I could see the outline of a man by the door and I pointed the gun at him and yelled at him to get out and tried to reason with him. I said, "Man, don't make me shoot you!"
He started movin like he was thinkin of coming my way, doin the whole song and dance like he was limberin up, the "tweaker fighting stance" so I fired a warning shot above his head.
We were both startled by it and he made a dive toward me. At that point I realized that I didn't have it in me to kill a man, so I tossed the gun aside and tackled him onto the floor before he got to me.
I started going to town on this guy's face, just punchin him as hard as I could. I heard a bunch of things crunch under my fists.
Finally he says, "STOP IT, EL!"
I recognize the voice.
It's my idiot best friend.
I stopped hittin him and asked him what the hell his problem was, and why he was in my house in the middle of the night, why he didn't tell me right away that it was him.
He said, "I was scared shitless! You had a gun in my face."
I was hyperventilating because I almost killed my best friend.
I asked him what was so damn important that it couldn't wait til morning.
He said that the diner down the street from his house just put a sign in the window that offered a $1.00 stack of pancakes if you went in before 5:00am.
This whole thing was over pancakes.
This idiot almost got his face blown off over pancakes. I definitely broke his nose over pancakes.
So, somehow he convinced me to get dressed and we went and got some. He ate like 4 plates of them. Each stack had three.
The waitress was a little unnerved, because he was still sportin a bloody nose and busted lip and asked him what the hell happened to his face.
He says, "I invited this jerk to come get pancakes with me and this was the thanks I got."