Four Heads Are Better Than One

Year Two: An Unpleasant Start

Year two! Thanks for all the support we received for the last book, we really hope this one lives up to expectations.

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter.

The Hogwarts staff room

Minerva looked utterly drained. "A flying car. They came to school in a flying car."

Filius grinned. "Not even the marauders would have thought of that." He was making no attempt to hide his delight.

Pomona sighed. "You know, that's really not a good thing."

The Charms Master shrugged cheerfully. "I know. But still…"

Minerva scowled. "I just can't understand why neither of them had the wits to send an owl."

Severus smirked. "I do. They're both dolts."

Filius rolled his eyes. "They're twelve year old boys and it's a flying car."

Pomona shook her head, but Minerva was glaring at Severus.

"My students are not dolts!"

Severus glared right back. "They nearly exposed the magical world! Both of them should be on the train home."

"That is none of your concern."

"Minerva, they broke curfew and you took away a hundred and fifty points, but they break magical law and you just give them detention!"

"It is still not your place to interfere."

Pomona knew from long experience that if they weren't interrupted soon then nothing would be accomplished, but before she could end the argument, the door was thrown open.

In the doorway, resplendent in his aquamarine robes, stood Gilderoy Lockhart. Minerva and Severus froze in mid-argument as the new teacher bounded into the room.

"What have I missed?" Pomona stared at him, and Severus raised an eyebrow.

Minerva drew herself up. "Good evening Gilderoy. What can we do for you?"

Lockhart flashed her a brilliant smile as he sprawled elegantly into a chair. "Oh, the Headmaster mentioned that you were still up and suggested I take the time to get to know you all better. Of course, you already know all about me."

Severus scowled. "Indeed."

Lockhart's grin didn't falter. "Well, I'm sure you've all read my books. By the way, I'll be all too happy to sign them for you too." Minerva pursed her lips, while Severus was wearing an expression that would have sent his students running for cover. Pomona's smile had become rather strained, and even Filius was looking at Lockhart with distaste.

The man himself, of course, remained oblivious. "I must say, I'm thrilled to be working here. I've never forgotten all you taught me Filius, may I call you Filius, or you Minerva."

Minerva frowned. "I'm sure you haven't."

Filius coughed loudly. "You've certainly come a long way since your school days, Gilderoy."

Lockhart nodded cheerfully. "Yes, I suppose I have. But don't worry, I know it must be a bit overwhelming for you, but I promise I won't show you up in front of you students."

Seeing the rather disgusted expression on Minerva's face, and the frankly murderous one on Severus', Pomona spoke quickly.

"We were all very impressed with your exploits."

Lockhart beamed at her. "Really? Which ones? I know there were plenty to choose from." He seemed to have caught the involuntary twitch Severus' hand made towards his wand, because he said hastily, "But that's enough about me. What were you discussing?"

Filius sighed. "Just Potter and Weasley's unusual method of travel."

"Ah, now I'm afraid that that may be partly my fault."

Minerva's eyes glinted. "May I ask how?"

Lockhart turned his toothy grin on her. "Well, you see I met young Harry in Flourish and Blotts during the holiday, and I think the attention may have gone to his head a bit."

Pomona choked. "Are you saying that Harry broke the law to get attention?"

"But of course! We ended up on the front page together you know, and you don't get that sort of thing every day."

Filius stared at him. "Yes, because Harry Potter is completely unaccustomed to fame."

Predictably, Lockhart missed the sarcasm. "It's completely understandable to want to be famous at his age. I was just the same. Don't worry, I'll talk to him." He got to his feet and stretched. "I think I'll head off. If you give me your copies of my books tomorrow, I'll sign them and get them back to you before the end of the day."

"Oh, good," Severus muttered under his breath. Lockhart flashed them all a final dazzling smile before sweeping from the room, leaving a stunned silence in his wake.

Minerva took a long, slow breath. "That..man…" She broke off, unable to comment further.

Pomona looked disgusted. "He thinks he's more famous than Harry Potter? Merlin, does he even have a brain?"

"Apparently not."

Severus was almost apoplectic with fury. "What was Albus thinking? The students will learn less from him than they did from Quirrell!"

Minerva scowled. "He had no choice. There were no other applicants."

"At least he seems to know his subject," said Pomona weakly.

Filius snorted. "Gilderoy was terrible at Defence. In fact, he was terrible at most things."

Pomona frowned at him. "But look at everything he's done. I can't say I care for him personally, but you can't deny that it's impressive."

Filius looked very grim. "I'll be amazed if he's done even a fraction of the things he says he has. He was in my house, and I know he doesn't have the intelligence or the courage displayed in those books."

Minerva nodded. "I remember him too. How he ended up in Ravenclaw, I don't know."

Pomona let out a long sigh. "Well, let's give him a chance. He may turn out to be a decent enough teacher."

Filius shook his head as Severus let out a derisive snort.

"I doubt it. I wouldn't be surprised if his first day turns out to be a complete fiasco."

What did you think? Did we get Lockhart right? He won't appear in all of them, but we thought this is something he might do. Please let us know what you think.