Four Heads Are Better Than One

Year Two: Pests and Pixies

Hi everyone, thanks for all the reviews, favourites and alerts, we really appreciate the support. We hope you enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter.

The Hogwarts staff room

"That man is an idiot!" Filius' mouth fell open in astonishment. It was fairly common for Minerva or Severus to arrive in a bad mood, but Pomona hardly ever lost control. Now, though, the Hufflepuff looked more dangerous than he had ever seen her.

"What's happened? Who's an idiot?"

Pomona slammed the door shut. "Lockhart! He had the nerve to try to show me the correct way to treat the Whomping Willow!"

Filius raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "You're the Herbology teacher."

Pomona scowled. "Maybe you should tell him that."

Filius frowned, but before he could say anything, the door opened again and Severus stormed into the room.

"That utter moron!"

Filius sighed. "Lockhart?"

The Slytherin's sallow skin was flushed with rage. "How did you guess?"

"Pomona had a similar reaction."

Severus looked disgusted. "Somehow, I'm not that surprised."

Pomona looked curious. "What's he done now?"

Severus grimaced. "Someone let some Cornish pixies loose. Two of them got into my classroom and knocked all my ingredients off the shelves. By the time I got back, the resulting potion had destroyed half the floor."

Pomona winced. "That's bad. But are you sure it was him?"

Severus looked at her. "Who else would think that letting Cornish pixies loose was a good idea?"

Filius sighed. "Good point."

"He's completely incompetent! The students aren't going to learn anything." Severus broke off abruptly as Pomona held up a hand.

"Can either of you hear that?"

In the silence that followed, the sound of running footsteps could be heard fast approaching. Severus darted to the door and flung it open, just as the object of their discussion barrelled into the room.

"Shut the door, quick!"

Severus ignored him and stepped out into the hall, drawing his wand as he did so. One glance confirmed his suspicions.

"Gilderoy, it's just a few pixies."

Lockhart glared at him. "Well don't just stand there, do something!"

Severus threw him a look of contempt, before flicking his wand carelessly towards the ceiling. A moment later, they heard a few soft thumps as the now frozen pixies fell to the floor.

Filius raised an eyebrow at Lockhart as Severus conjured a cage for the creatures. "Having a few problems, Gilderoy?"

Lockhart had regained his composure remarkably quickly. "No, no, not at all. I was just, er, testing your alertness." Despite his words, he kept a wary eye on Severus as the Slytherin came back into the room carrying the cage of immobilised pixies.

Filius nodded soothingly. "Of course you were."

The DADA teacher coughed and glanced around. "Erm, is Minerva around by any chance?"

Pomona shook her head. "Not at the moment." Severus looked like he wished the same could be said of him.

Lockhart frowned. "Oh. I did need to speak to her."

"Well, she's not here," said Severus coldly. "I suggest you go and look for her."

Unfortunately, Lockhart disagreed. "No, I think I'd better wait here."

Severus' eyes glinted, but before he could comment, Pomona shot him a warning glare.

Filius massaged his temples wearily. "Was it something we could help you with?"

Lockhart brightened. "Actually, you could." Severus groaned, but he continued regardless. "I've found that this job doesn't leave me as much free time as I expected, and I've fallen a little behind on my correspondence."

"What a tragedy," Severus muttered.

"Isn't it? Anyway, I thought I might be able to enlist the aid of the students in catching up."

Pomona blinked. "You want students to help you answer your mail."

Lockhart beamed. "That's the idea. It would be good for them, don't you think? Give them some experience of the sort of pressure that fame can bring." He didn't seem to notice the disgust on Filius' face, or the fact that Severus was flexing his fingers as though he very much wanted to put them around the oblivious man's throat.

Fortunately for Lockhart, Minerva chose that moment to make an appearance. Her smile dimmed considerably as she saw who was present.

"Gilderoy. What a pleasant surprise."

Filius glanced at her. "Gilderoy was just asking if he could borrow some students to help him answer his mail."

Several conflicting emotion passed across Minerva's face before she managed to control herself. "I see. I will…consider it."

Lockhart turned his dazzling smile in her direction. "Your assistance and understanding is most appreciated. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have some pressing business to attend to."

"Wait, Gilderoy." Severus wore a barely concealed smirk as he held up the cage. "You're forgetting your pixies."

A look of alarm crossed Lockhart's face. "Ah, no, I think it might be better if you kept hold of them, Severus. You, er, could use the practice." Severus' face darkened, but Lockhart had already dashed from the room.

Minerva shook her head in disbelief. "He can't handle pixies, he tries to tell us how to do our jobs, and now he wants students to answer his fan mail? That man is unbelievable."

Severus snorted. "Imbecile."

Filius nodded in agreement. "As if we would waste students' time with that nonsense."

Minerva paused. "Actually, that may not be such a bad idea."

Pomona stared at her. "Excuse me?"

A grin was creeping across the Gryffindor's face. "Not for all the students of course. But for detainees…"

Filius laughed. "It would certainly be effective. But does anyone really deserve that?"

Severus smirked. "I have a suggestion."

Please tell us what you thought.