AN: Hey, guys. Sorry, for the short chapter, I promise they will become longer again. Don't forget to follow, review, and favorite. Thanks for reading. JuJuB7

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, only the plot.

Chapter Fifteen

He has a son. He had a son. His son is dead. His son is dead. Stillborn. Fucking stillborn. How could this be happening? When he would think about the birth of his daughter, he never thought that there would be another baby. A son no less. He had twins, but no exactly twins because one twin was dead. Did the other twin even know that she is a twin? What if she doesn't know? She could have a sibling right now, but she doesn't. Why is jumping to everything in his head? He really should be talking to Peyton about this. Hell, they need to talk about a lot of things, so many things. It's unbelievable about how much stuff they need to talk about. It is honestly insane how much they have to talk about. So much shit has gone down today and the past sixteen years. This isn't how he thought his life would turn out. Not at all.

"Lucas," Peyton says, bring Lucas out of his thoughts. "Don't you think we should talk. I mean we have a lot to talk about. God, Lucas, you don't know how guilty I feel, I've done a lot of bad stuff. You have no idea. God, I've done so much bad stuff. I don't even know why I did it. Maybe it was because I was just so lost and I had no idea what was going to happen. It still doesn't make up for what I did, I don't anything I do know will make up for what I did. There's just no coming back from that… Lucas, I…"

"I tried to kill myself," Lucas unexpectedly blurts out interrupting Peyton.

"What," Peyton says.

"Exactly eight months after you left, I…" Lucas pauses, reliving that day. "I took a razor and cut my wrists. Lucky for me, Nathan and Haley found me. They got to me just in time, I came back home and everyone would take turns watching me because I wasn't safe being by myself. It wasn't long after that I was checked into the hospital, I was there for two months before checking out. I've been meds ever since that day. Antidepressants, that's what I've been on for sixteen years. They tried taking me off of the meds but, that didn't last very long, they put me back on them… Everyone has been afraid that I would try to kill myself again."

"I," Peyton stumbles, trying to get the words out of her mouth.

"You don't have to say anything," Lucas pauses. "I know it's probably a shock to know that I wanted to end my life, but that's not me anymore. I'm not the same person I was back then. I've grown, I've changed. I've done a lot of soul searching I guess you can call it. I know who I am now and now…"

"I overdosed," Peyton blurts out. "I overdosed."

"What?" Lucas asks. "What are you talking about?"

"When Sawyer was two, I met some people and they were a really bad influence on me… They got me into hard, hard drugs. One night, this guy and I did drugs all night long, the next thing I knew I was waking up in the hospital. I overdosed but they got to me in time, but the guy I was doing the drugs with died. I went to rehab for a year. I'm sorry, Luke, I've been so stupid…. I guess, I guess I will understand if you want to take Sawyer away from. I'm such a bad mom."

"No, you are not," Lucas whispers.