Four Heads Are Better Than One

Year Two: Persistent Problems

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The Hogwarts staff room

"Severus!"

Filius glanced up with a sigh. "What have you done this time?"

Severus smirked. "Oh, I have an inkling." He quickly rearranged his features into a concerned frown as Minerva burst into the room. "What in Merlin's name is the matter, Minerva?"

Minerva looked livid. "You knew the pitch was booked for the Gryffindor team today!"

"And?" Severus' attempts at keeping a straight face were failing dismally.

"And yet you still forced them off so that Slytherin could practice."

Severus gave up and let a sly smirk form. "We have a new Seeker. We need the extra time."

Minerva snorted. "Draco Malfoy has been having flying lessons for years. Harry needs more training than he does."

Filius was also frowning. "Draco's your new Seeker? What happened to Mr. Higgs?"

"Draco flew better at tryouts."

Minerva shook her head. "You mean he has a richer father. Wood noticed that the entire Slytherin team had new broomsticks."

Severus' grin broadened. "Is there a problem with that?"

"It's unfair!"

Filius sighed. "Minerva, there is no rule that says parents can't support their child's house."

"But seven Nimbus Two Thousand and Ones!"

"What Lucius Malfoy spends his money on is none of our business." The Ravenclaw's tone was distinctly reluctant, and Minerva knew that he was just as unhappy about the situation as she was. Severus looked on in satisfaction, but the glint in Minerva's eyes warned him not to gloat further.

Filius broke the tense silence. "Do either of you know what's happened to Ronald Weasley's wand?"

Minerva seized upon the new topic with relief. "He nearly snapped it when he and Mr. Potter hit the Whomping Willow, and you know wands are nearly impossible to mend."

Filius grimaced. "That would explain it. The boy's turned into a menace."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You're sure that's due to the wand?"

Minerva glared at them. "Mr. Weasley is not a menace!"

Filius stared at her. "He is with that wand. It explodes when he tries to do the simplest charms."

Severus scowled. "He tried to alter his flame with it and only succeeded in melting his cauldron."

"And weren't you telling me only the other day that his attempts to transfigure his beetle resulted in a classroom full of smoke?"

Minerva threw up her hands in exasperation. "All right, maybe he has been a little inconsistent recently, but he'll be fine once he gets a new wand." She sighed. "Not that that's likely to happen any time soon after that Howler."

Severus winced. "I hate it when Molly Weasley sends Howlers. Her rants are bad enough at normal volume."

Filius shook his head. "I don't like Howlers. They may be a good way of releasing frustration, but they're terrible for the students."

Minerva nodded in agreement, but her next words were interrupted by the arrival of Pomona. The Hufflepuff advanced angrily on Severus.

"Does Vincent Crabbe have a single brain cell in his head?"

Severus frowned. "Maybe one…"

Filius rolled his eyes. "Not the time. What's happened, Pomona?"

Pomona shook her head. "You would think that repotting the rest of the Mandrakes would be a nice simple task for detention wouldn't you? Well, Mr. Crabbe ignored my instructions and, as a result, knocked himself and several others unconscious."

"Will they be alright?"

"They'll be in the hospital wing for a few hours, but they'll be fine." She let out a long sigh. "They're lucky I only let the second years practice on seedlings. A full grown Mandrake would have killed them."

"Did you say Mandrakes? I like to fancy myself as a bit of an expert on Mandrakes, you know."

Pomona froze in dismay at the unwelcome interruption. Filius' genial usually genial face broke into a dark scowl and Minerva's jaw tightened ominously. Severus' eyes, meanwhile, were glittering furiously, and it seemed to be taking all his self-control to resist drawing his wand.

Oblivious to his colleagues' reactions, Gilderoy Lockhart strode into the room and took a seat by the fire.

"Sorry I'm late. What have I missed?"

Filius made a considerable effort to respond civilly. "Gilderoy, you know you don't have to be present at these meetings."

The grin did not falter. "Oh, I know, but I thought you would appreciate the benefit of my expertise."

Severus' lip curled. "You can think?" Filius glared at the Slytherin, but Lockhart did not seem to have heard.

Pomona sighed. "Your opinions are always welcome Gilderoy, of course." She pointedly ignored the incredulous snort from Minerva's direction. "But we thought you would be preparing for your detention with Mr. Potter."

Lockhart waved a hand carelessly. "That's all right, it won't take long. And don't worry, I've had a word with him about attracting attention and I think he's seen the error of his ways. I did catch him giving out signed photos the other day, but I'm sure he'll stop now that he knows I disapprove." No one trusted themselves enough to respond to that statement.

Lockhart, of course, did not notice, but he got to his feet anyway.

"Well, I'd better go and curl-er-prepare for Mr. Potter. Oh, and Pomona, if you have any questions about Mandrakes, I'll be only too happy to help."

It took several minutes for the Heads to recover themselves.

Severus let out a long breath and unclenched his jaw. "We have got to do something about that man…"

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