Four Heads Are Better Than One

Year Two: Valentine's Day

I'm really, really sorry about the delay. Andrew's just started his A levels, and I've been buying uni stuff, so it's been difficult to liaise. Anyway, here it is, and I really hope you enjoy it. Thank you again for all the reviews, favourites and alerts.

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter.

Hagrid's hut

"His hair and eyes are midnight black,
And he's a good man to have in a duel.
When it comes to potions, in no way is he slack,
Oh, Severus Snape-"

"STUPEFY!"

A delighted grin spread across Minerva's face. "Did you not approve, Severus?"

Severus shot her a vicious glare. "These things," he gestured furiously at the Stunned dwarf, "have been following me all day. Lessons, meals… I had to lock myself in the dungeons just to get a moment's peace."

Minerva whistled. "It seems you have some very fervent admirers."

Severus scowled. "What that moron thought this was going to accomplish..."

Minerva grimaced in agreement. "Speaking of which, we'd better get going."

"I'm still not convinced that this is the best option, Minerva."

"Why not?"

"Do you not remember the dragon?"

"Are you saying you would rather stay and chat with Gilderoy? I'm sure he's got a fascinating new theory to share."

Severus muttered something distinctly uncomplimentary under his breath and stalked out of the Entrance Hall without replying. Smothering a smirk, Minerva followed him.

After his ignominious defeat at the duelling club, the four Heads had hoped that Gilderoy would learn his lesson and shrink his head a bit. Instead, to their dismay, he had only become more obnoxious. In an attempt to recover his pride, he was now telling long, boastful stories to anyone who would listen about the various duelling champions he had defeated. The situation was rapidly becoming intolerable; the more reluctant they appeared, the more enthusiastic Gilderoy became, and to make matter worse, they were rapidly running out of hiding places. Severus was privately considering hexing the incompetent idiot. Only the thought of the curse on the DADA position stopped him. If the curse was still in effect, Gilderoy would leave at the end of the year in a far worse state than when he arrived. If not, well, he could always hex him next year. That thought brightened Severus' mood considerably.

The two Heads kept a companiable silence as they made their way across the grounds to Hagrid's hut. Severus could not help glancing around rather apprehensively as they approached; the dragon might be gone, but, knowing Hagrid, he would not be surprised if he had managed to smuggle a chimaera into the country. Minerva seemed to find his behaviour rather amusing. Scowling, Severus stepped forwards to knock on the door.

And was promptly knocked off his feet as something small, smelly and heavy cannoned into him. A moment later, Severus found himself flat on his back with a dwarf sitting on his chest, and a Gryffindor who could barely stand up for laughing next to him.

"Sorry 'bout that, Professor."

Severus shoved the thing off his chest and sat up. "What the-" His eyes widened. "Hagrid!"

Minerva was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "You really can't escape these cupids, can you?"

Severus switched his glare from the dwarf to his still snickering colleague. "It's. Not. Funny."

"What is going on?"

Severus groaned as Pomona and Filius approached, both gazing at the scene in confusion.

Minerva grinned at them. "Severus had a little tangle with one of Gilderoy's friends."

Filius bit back a chuckle. "Oh dear." Pomona had no such reservations.

Blushing furiously, Hagrid picked Severus up and set him on his feet. "Didn't see you there, Professor, sorry." He then nearly knocked the Slytherin over again as he attempted to brush him down.

Severus quickly dodged out of reach. "What in Merlin's name were you doing?"

Hagrid glared after the dwarf, who had seized his opportunity and was now halfway back to the castle. "Little monster tried to give me one of them singin' Valentines." Even Severus had to laugh at the expression on his face. "He wouldn't leave when I told 'im, so I threw 'im out instead. I didn't mean fer 'im to land on ya."

Severus grinned at him. "No harm done and it seems to have worked." He shot a sly glance at Minerva. "Maybe I should try that technique."

Minerva raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you should think again." She turned to Hagrid. "Thank you again for the use of your house, Hagrid."

Hagrid waved a huge hand carelessly. "Anything to irritate that git is fine by me."

Filius smirked. "Our sentiments exactly."

"I've got to run an errand fer Dumbledore anyway, so it's not trouble. Help yerselves to drinks, and I made some cakes this afternoon."

Pomona made an effort to look pleased. "I'm sure we'll enjoy them."

Hagrid beamed at her. "I'll leave ya to it then." He whistled and Fang came bounding out of the hut, his tail wagging furiously. Hagrid had to catch him by the collar to keep him from pouncing on Minerva, who glared at the exuberant dog with ill-concealed dislike.

"Back Fang! Sorry 'bout him Professor, he's just happy to see you."

Minerva sniffed. "I see. No harm done, I suppose." She shot a final contemptuous glance at the dog and stalked into the hut.

Hagrid watched her go with a chuckle. "Well, I'd best be off too." He gave Severus a final friendly pat, which sent him staggering, and strolled off into the Forest, Fang gambolling playfully round his heels.

Severus rolled his shoulders with a grimace. "I'm going to be black and blue."

Filius nodded absently. "Probably. I thought he said he was on an errand for the Headmaster."

"He did."

"Then why is he going into the Forbidden Forest?"

Severus shrugged. "Maybe one of his monster friends knows what's going on? How am I supposed to know?" Dismissing the matter from his mind, he followed Pomona into the hut. Filius lingered a moment, staring after the gamekeeper's retreating back. Severus seemed to have forgotten that some magical creatures, such as the centaurs, were highly intelligent, and quite possibly could be valuable sources of information. Shaking his head, he joined his colleagues.

They found Minerva studying one of Hagrid's rock cakes, a wary frown on her face. She glanced up as they entered.

"You know, I think these actually contain real rocks."

Severus grimaced as he stole Hagrid's most comfortable armchair. "Now why doesn't that surprise me more?"

Filius smiled at them. "Come now, we're not going to pick on Hagrid when we have a much more deserving target."

Pomona's eyes gleamed in anticipation. "And how nice of him to give us so much ammunition."

Minerva shook her head in disbelief. "Does Gilderoy even have a brain? Did he not think at all about the chaos those 'cupids' would cause?"

Filius looked at her. "Minerva, you're talking about the man who thought setting pixies loose was a good idea."

Severus gave a derisive snort. "Compared to this, it was."

Pomona glanced at him. "You've been having a bit of trouble with them, haven't you?"

Minerva and Filius tried their hardest to hide grins as Severus gritted his teeth. "Why does everyone find that so amusing?"

After a moment, Pomona took pity on him. "And those robes!"

Minerva scoffed. "They looked the same as his normal ones to me."

"Equally hideous," Severus muttered.

Filius nodded in agreement. "The decoration… What was Albus thinking to allow that?"

Minerva rolled her eyes. "He probably loved it. He's never been particularly conventional himself when it comes to dress."

Severus had to suppress a shudder at the very thought of wearing pink. "I can't believe he told students to ask me how to brew Love Potions. That could have led to any number of disastrous situations."

Filius scowled. "How long does Albus intend to keep up this charade? He must know that the students aren't learning anything."

"I should hope so, we've told him enough times."

Minerva nodded. "I agree. If it were an elective, like Divination, or a textbook-based subject, like History of Magic, then it wouldn't be so bad, but the students really do need to know how to perform those defensive spells."

"I really pity the O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. students," said Pomona gloomily. "They're having to learn the entire course on top of their revision for their other subjects."

Filius' face grew thoughtful. "There may be something we could do about that."

Minerva glanced at him. "What are you thinking?"

The Ravenclaw got to his feet and started pacing. "We could start a study group specifically for those year groups. We can go over the spells they need to know, and make sure that they understand the theory involved. It would be a good supplement to their own research."

Severus frowned. "But who would run it? I agree that they need help, but none of us has the time to commit to such a project."

"I know it's too much for one person, but if we share it out…"

Pomona had brightened considerably. "I think it's a brilliant idea. With all of, it would be manageable, and I'm sure some of the others wouldn't mind helping too."

Minerva also seemed to be coming round to the idea. "I've got some friends in the Auror department. If they're not busy, some of them would be only too happy to come in and give a demonstration."

Pomona beamed at her. "That would really help." She looked at Severus, who was the only one who had yet to voice an opinion. "What do you think, Severus?"

Slowly, the Slytherin nodded. "It could work. We certainly have to do something." He got to his feet. "I think I'll go and speak to Albus now. The sooner we get this started, the better."

Filius nodded approvingly as they watched the Slytherin head back to the castle. "He's a good lad, that one. He was very good at DADA himself."

Minerva nodded slightly abstractedly. "I wonder who was behind all those Valentines."

Filius looked at Pomona, who was biting her lip. "Pomona?"

"Yes, Filius?"

Filius was studying her closely. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?"

Pomona's shoulders had started to shake slightly. Minerva's eyes narrowed, then realisation sank in and she burst out laughing. Filius stared at her, then back to the Herbology teacher.

"You didn't."

A smug smile spread across Pomona's face. "I did."

"You…sent…" He sank into a chair and stared at her in admiration. "You are an evil woman."

Pomona smiled beatifically. "He turned my hair green."

Filius nodded carefully and looked at Minerva. "I think we should change the school motto. Badgers are far more dangerous than dragons."

Minerva just laughed harder.

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