Four Heads Are Better Than One

Year Two: Gilderoy Makes a Mistake

Hey everyone, new chapter! However, I move up to Leicester on Sunday, so this may be my last update for a bit while until I get settled in. Andrew won't be able to help as much either, so updates are probably going to be a bit slower anyway. I promise that I am not giving up on this story. It will be completed. Thank you for all your reviews, favourites and alerts, and I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

The owlery

Severus wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Did we have to meet here?"

Pomona raised an eyebrow. "I didn't notice you coming up with a better idea."

"I did come up with a better idea."

"The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason!"

"Which means Lockhart would never have gone anywhere near it."

"Severus," said Filius wearily, "if even Gilderoy knows not to go near it, did you really expect us to want to?"

Severus kicked a loose stone. "I still think it would have been better." He looked round grumpily. "Where's Minerva anyway?"

Filius grimaced. "She's in a meeting with Rufus Scrimgeour. The Minister wants to let the Aurors in to search for the Chamber."

"If Albus couldn't, I doubt they will." A scowl spread across his face. "Besides, if he really wanted to protect the students he would have fought harder against Lucius and the governors."

Pomona shook her head. "Hagrid in Azkaban, Albus suspended… Are they trying to get Hogwarts closed?"

Severus rubbed his eyes wearily. "Lucius is being a fool. He may not like Dumbledore, but Draco could be in as much danger as anyone else with Slytherin's monster loose."

Filius glanced at him. "That's not exactly true though, is it? Severus, you know him better than anyone. Is there any chance that he could have something to do with this?"

Severus had to think for a moment. Lucius Malfoy's pureblood views were well-known, and he would certainly appreciate the Heir's aims. However, Severus did not see how he could possibly have achieved this. Slowly, he shook his head.

"He has the motive, but I doubt he would try something like this right under Albus' nose. His sense of self-preservation is too strong for that And even if it wasn't, I'm sure he doesn't know anything more than we do about the Chamber than we do. He's certainly not Slytherin's heir himself."

Filius sighed. "He may not be behind it, but there's no denying that removing Albus from Hogwarts will help the Heir rather than us."

Pomona shivered slightly. "So far people have just been petrified, but with Albus gone…" She did not have to finish the sentence. The possibility had been discussed at length when they first heard the news.

The grim silence was broken by a sickeningly cheerful voice floating up the stairs towards them.

"…Minister will be sure to see things my way."

Pomona paled instantly. "What is he doing here?"

Filius glanced round in alarm. "Never mind that, hide!"

Severus shook his head in dismay. "Too late. Act normally." Filius looked like he wanted to argue, but the point was rendered moot as Gilderoy Lockhart swept into the room.

Looking at him, Severus had to fight back a surge of nausea. Today, Lockhart was dressed in robes of pale lavender, and the matching scent could be smelt from across the room. The DADA teacher's face split into its usual toothy grin as he saw them.

"There you are! Good evening, good evening."

Filius somehow managed a smile. "Fancy seeing you here, Gilderoy." Pomona nodded politely, but Severus ignored him completely. He already had to fight the urge to hex the grinning fool.

Lockhart did not seem to notice the chilly atmosphere. "Is this where you chaps have been hiding? I haven't seen you in weeks."

Filius shook his head. "Coincidence."

"I told you we should have gone to the Forest," Severus grumbled under his breath. He broke off with a hiss as Pomona stamped on his foot.

Filius ignored the two of them with the ease of long practice. "What are you doing here, Gilderoy?"

Lockhart held up a bright purple envelope. "I'm just writing to the Minister with my recommendation for the next Headmaster."

Pomona's eyes narrowed. "Albus Dumbledore is Headmaster."

Lockhart gave her a condescending smile. "Your loyalty is commendable my dear, but it is time to face facts. Dumbledore is finished; he has allowed these attacks to go on for far too long and the students have suffered for it. It is time for a fresh start."

Seeing the warning signs of an impending explosion, Filius stepped between them. "That's very interesting. Who exactly did you have in mind?"

A faint frown appeared on Lockhart's face. "Isn't it obvious?" Filius' eyes widened, and his suspicions were confirmed a moment later. "Me, of course."

Severus choked. "You?" He instinctively moved away from Pomona, but the Hufflepuff was too busy staring open-mouthed at Gilderoy to reprimand him.

This did not appear to be quite the reaction Gilderoy was expecting. "Yes, me. I am, after all, the logical choice."

Filius silently counted to ten. "In what way?"

"Well, for someone with my experience, running a school shouldn't be too difficult. I'm fairly certain I can handle any problems that may come my way."

Severus' dark eyes glittered dangerously. "Do you really think so?"

"Oh yes. Take this Chamber of Secrets incident. If the Headmaster had allowed me free reign from the beginning, the culprit would have been apprehended months ago, and he wouldn't be in all this trouble now."

Filius' mind was racing. "I must say Gilderoy, as much as I admire your enthusiasm, I really don't think that running a school would be the best use of your… talents."

"I agree," put in Pomona. "You see, the Headmaster's job involves a lot of paperwork, and I really don't think you have the aptitude for sitting behind a desk all day."

Lockhart ran a hand through his hair complacently. "I think you may be right. And thinking about it, I can't really deprive the students of my lessons."

"That's right," said Filius soothingly. "You are uniquely suited to the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"Yes, I suppose I am." He looked ruefully at the letter. "But I would have looked so good sitting in that office." His face lit up. "I say, I've just had the most splendid idea."

Severus scowled. "That's a first." This time he did not move quickly enough and received a sharp jab in the ribs.

Pomona smiled at Gilderoy. "Go on."

Lockhart beamed at her. "Well, Professor McGonagall has been dealing with the Headmaster duties in addition to her own, has she not?"

Filius felt a prickle of foreboding. "Yes, but…"

"Then it is very simple. I shall take over as head of Gryffindor."

For a moment, there was silence. Filius was mentally counting to two hundred, while Pomona looked like she was torn between crying and laughing. For Severus though, that was the last straw.

"The day you become head of Gryffindor is the day that Hogwarts closes. For Merlin's sake, you weren't even in Gryffindor!"

Pomona glared at him but to her astonishment, Lockhart burst out laughing. "And I thought you didn't have a sense of humour, Severus." He then exacerbated matters by throwing an arm round the scowling Slytherin's shoulders. Severus' expression became frankly murderous, and his hand twitched towards his wand. Filius closed his eyes. At the trial, he could say that he saw nothing.

It was very fortunate for Lockhart that the tension was broken by a soft purr from the doorway. All four turned in surprise to find a grey tabby studying them with an expression of mild curiosity. Severus' mouth fell open, and Filius and Pomona exchanged startled glances, but Lockhart took one look and abandoned Severus completely.

"Why aren't you just the cutest thing?" He reached out to stroke it, only to jerk back in surprise as the feline hissed at him. "Not very friendly, is it?"

Severus stared at him in disbelief. "She has excellent taste."

"Who does she belong to?"

A smirk spread across the Slytherin's face. "No one, but she is rather attached to Gryffindor Tower."

Lockhart beamed. "Is that so? Do you think anyone would mind if I kept her?"

The smirk widened. "You're welcome to try." At that, Filius had to turn away to hide his smile, and saw that Pomona's eye were shining with anticipation. How Lockhart had survived this long, he did not know, but if cats could grin, this one would be.

As usual, Lockhart was oblivious to his colleagues' behaviour, but when he conjured a bright red cat collar, not even he could miss the pure glee in Severus' face.

"Is something wrong, Severus?"

To his credit, Severus recovered himself remarkably quickly. "Not at all, although I do think she would prefer green." Pomona gave a snort of laughter, which she quickly turned into a cough.

Lockhart glanced appraisingly at the collar. "You know, I think green would go better with her eyes.

"Exactly," said Severus. He tapped the accessory with his wand, and it turned a vivid green. "Why don't you try and put it on her?"

Lockhart glanced at the cat, whose green eyes had suddenly turned rather threatening. "Yes. Would you mind holding her steady for me?"

The tabby hissed, but Severus was nodding. "Certainly, Gilderoy." He bent and carefully lifted the small feline. She glared at him, but her attention rapidly returned to Lockhart.

Lockhart smiled stupidly and leaned forwards. "That's it, just hold still… Arghh!"

The cat had lashed out, and there were three bloody claw marks on Lockhart's cheek. He dropped the collar with a yelp and jumped back.

"My face!" He turned to Pomona in horror. "Does it look bad? Will it scar?"

Pomona did an admirable job of looking concerned. "They're not that deep Gilderoy, but perhaps you'd better visit the hospital wing, just in case."

Filius nodded in agreement. "Madam Pomfrey will be able to fix it."

Lockhart nodded as he pressed a pink handkerchief against his bleeding cheek. "Yes, I think I will." He shot a wary glance at the cat, which was now purring contentedly in Severus' arms. "What a ferocious beast." The tabby just flicked its tail contemptuously at him, and he left the owlery rather quickly.

As soon as he had gone, Severus set the cat back on the floor.

"All right, Minerva?"

A second later, the cat disappeared, and a very smug Minerva McGonagall appeared in its place. "Perfectly. Sorry I'm late."

Severus grinned at her. "Just this once, I think we can overlook it."

Pomona was staring at her friend in awe. "What in Merlin's name possessed you to do that, Minerva?"

The Gryffindor smiled. "He needed it. Although I was rather surprised that he didn't recognise me."

Filius shook his head. "Gilderoy never was the brightest of students." A mischievous glint entered his eyes. "Did you see his face when he thought it would scar?"

"Did you hear him squeal?"

Severus sighed. "It's a shame Poppy will be able to completely heal it."

Minerva raised an eyebrow. "If she didn't, he'd call it an honourable war wound and start telling us about how he was attacked by a tiger."

"Don't be silly, Minerva, a tiger is far too tame. It would take a nundu to cause Gilderoy Lockhart such an injury."

Filius smirked. "I have a feeling this will put an end to his ambitions to become head of Gryffindor though."

Minerva's eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry, I must have mis-heard. He wants what?"

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