Hey! Chapter 12, just as promised! :D

I'm starting to write the thirteenth chapter, so you don't have to worry about the next update. :)

Please enjoy CHAPTER 12, and don't forget to leave a review! :)

Lovelots :*

PS: Please help me! I want to drop out of school! Lol no jk enjoy :D

Flashback:

Before they could even kiss, the guy straightened up and looked away. "No, Tera. Stop this." that voice. It's .. D-Don't tell me . .?

"Hi .. H-Hisoka?" I quietly said. Both of them stiffened and looked at my direction.

I-I-I can't believe this. This is a dream, right? Anyone, someone, tell me this is just a freaking dream!

My heart. It's hurting very much.

PAIN. Pain is everywhere. I can feel pain in my heart and in my head. I can even see pain right before my eyes, it's like it's spelled in front of me.

"Y/n?" Hisoka asked, his eyes widening. He pushed Tera away and started walking towards me.

"Hey!" Tera said, surprise is visible in her voice.

Hisoka started explaining, ignoring Tera. "Wa-Wait! Th-This is not what it looks —"

"H-Hisoka... You .. . Hisoka is an idiot!" I said to him as I ran away from the scene, heading straight to the elevator. "Don't follow me, you .. you .. You!" I said as I saw him running towards my direction.

"Hey! Wait, Y/n! I'm sorry! This is not what you think it is!" he said, still running. Tera followed too. When she caught up with him, she stopped him, grabbing his arms, directing his attention at her.

"Hisoka, what is this?" she asked as Hisoka finally faced her. She had no idea of what is going on.

"What hell, Tera? Get out of the way!" he said angrily at her. It was the first time I've seen Hisoka's face like that. It was frustrated and angry and somehow, it looks like it's going to cry.

At last, the elevator door closed. I saw Hisoka pushed Tera to the side and headed to the elevator. But he saw that it's too late, staring at the closing door of the elevator, with me inside it.

When I finally got inside my room, I feel so weak. It was like all of the energy I just had was drained from my body, like I'm all out of power.

Hisoka. He was flirting with another girl. They were so close to each other. Their bodies were touching. And Tera was going to kiss him. Why? How can he do this to me? Well, he did stop her before they could kiss. But that's not the point! The point is that he let the situation came to that that they almost kiss! Why didn't he stop her before she could even lay hands on him? Does that mean that he feel the same for Tera, too? And that Tera, she's a real b*tch. Grrrrrrr. I hate her. She can flirt and seduce all the guys she want, but not Hisoka! Not my Hisoka. I'm going to kill her! But to think of it, no one knows that Hisoka's my boyfriend. It's a secret. No one really knows, and so that means that Tera has no idea that Hisoka is in a relationship with me. Agggghnnn still! That is so not the point right now.

I'm so pissed that I couldn't even think straight. I just wanted to hit something, to shout, to let all my anger come out.

"Arrrrghhh! Hisoka! You idiot! How can you do this to me? I hate you!" I shouted.

I grabbed the lamp from the side table in the living room and threw it to the wall. It made a loud crashing sound before it fell to the ground, broken. I then grabbed the vase and the remote control from the side table too and threw it again, but this time, I threw it on the TV. Now this time, it even made a louder breaking noise and it seems that the television was grounded that it let out a sound when the vase and remote control hit it. All the fragments from the vase and the TV are now scattered on the floor. I threw everything that I see on the living room. Making loud sounds of crashing and breaking. The living room was a mess. But I don't care about that now. I just wanted to let my anger all out.

That actually helped, my anger seemed to lessen a little. But now that my anger has lessened, pain towered over my feelings. It's pain. Pain is everywhere. I can feel pain, throbbing inside my body, and it's hurting me. I want to cry. I want to cry so loud and let the pain all out of my system. But I can't. I don't know why, but I just can't. I can't cry. Why? Why can't I cry, now, of all times, when I'm most hurt?

Hisoka betrayed me. If he really does love me, he shouldn't be going near any woman! He should've prevented it before they got to the point that they were about to kiss! And how did they ended up together like that, anyway? Ughhh the more I think about it the more I'm getting pissed again. I just couldn't stop myself. It's like my head is going to explode.

Am I jealous? Is this jealousy?

Hell no! Of course I'm not jealous! I'm just feeling strange, that's all! I'm having this strange feeling because I caught the two of them. I'm just weird. I'm not jealous. I'm freaking weird, but I will never admit that I'm jealous! This is not jealousy, okay?

My knees weakened and trembled, and I fell to the floor. This strange feeling is new to me, and I don't know how to deal with it. I'm really weird when it comes to Hisoka. He made me feel new emotions that I've never felt before. Even this sensation I'm feeling right now that I call weird is new to me.

I covered face with my palms, embracing my whole self with my hands. I just wanted to make the pain go away. It shouldn't be hard now, right? But I wonder how though. How do you make a pain go away?

The door suddenly opened, and Hisoka entered the room.

"Eh?" why is he here? How did he know the number of my room? Where did he get the key card? Did I drop my key card somewhere?

His face was worried when he searched the room. It was sad-kind of worried. He did not see me sitting there yet.

"Y/n —" He called out. He saw me then, sitting on the floor.

I feel like crying when I saw his worried face.

"Y/n! What the .. ." he said, when he finally noticed the mess in the living room, all scattered objects on the floor. "What happened here? Did you hurt yourself?"

I didn't answer him. I just looked at him in the eyes. Now the tears that wouldn't come out a little while ago flowed. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. This is just too hard for me.

He hurried towards me, embracing me from the back.

"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have seen that. It's my fault. S-Sorry." he said to my ear, tightening his embrace.

"Hell yeah, it's your fault, you idiot! Why are you flirting with her? Why are you even with her? You like her, don't you? Hisoka, you're such an idiot! I hate you!" I shouted, trying to get out of his embrace. I wanted to hit him, I wanted to make him feel the pain I'm feeling. I wanted him to suffer, like how I am suffering right now.

"Y-You .. You hate me?" he said. He's hands around my body loosened, until he finally let go of me.

"I hate you, you moron!" I couldn't control the tears anymore. This time, it really poured out. It's like all of me are being expressed through the tears. I'm in so much pain, Hisoka should know this.

I moved away from him and faced him. His head was bent down. "I'm sorry! Please forgive me," he bowed, until his forehead touched the floor.

"H-Hey," wait, that's not what I want. I don't want him bowing down over me. My tears stopped, but I'm still sobbing.

I just wanted him to explain what happened back there. Why is he letting her touch him? Especially that close. And don't forget that they were about to kiss!

Now that I remember it, the tears flowed again. What is wrong with me? I'm so scared of losing Hisoka. I was scared when a thought came to me, thinking that one day I'll lose him to another girl, that other girls might steal him from me, that he might fall in love with another girl, everything. I don't want any of that to happen. I don't want him away from me. I just want him to be always beside me and never leave my side. That's how much I love him.

But in our situation, with our relationship kept as a secret, there is a chance that that might happen. Hisoka's not a saint, and sin in this world is everywhere. He could fall in love with another girl, since our relationship is kept like this. I shouldn't blame him. I should understand him. But he entered this relationship with me. He's the one who started this. He wanted this relationship. That's why he should finish this to the end. With me.

"Wh-Why did you kiss her, Hisoka?" that's what came out of my mouth, still sobbing. I started to relax a bit.

He suddenly straighten up and looked at me. "Wha—? I did not kiss her! She was the one who came to me, she said she wanted me," he cleared his throat, then he came closer to me. "She's always been following me around, always asking me out. I've always been avoiding her. But this time, she cornered me."

That's .. . actually true. Shoot. I forgot! Hisoka was popular among girls! I even remember being so irritated everytime he would receive gifts from those girls, or when they confess to him, asking him to date them, or when girls would come over our classroom, clinging to his arms, asking for his number and a date. Ohhhh. This is so annoying. It's because of his good looks, his tall height, his lean body, and his perfect pale skin that girls like him. He's not much into sports and clubs but still, every girl in the campus wanted to be his girlfriend. How can I forget about this kind of thing? Everyone knows he's from Meteor City — Meteor City is known as a junkyard, inhabited by outcasts and people who live there does not exist in any official records — but even with that fact, girls are still into him. Every girl is willing to die just to be his girlfriend. But even so, many people hate him because of the fact that he's from Meteor City. But he's not living in Meteor City anymore. His so-called uncle took him in and educated him, making him a real person with real official records now.

But still! Even if she cornered him, if he really doesn't want to be cornered, he could've just gone off from her. That wouldn't be so hard, right? He really is an idiot!

But I can't be stubborn now. This is the very first trial that we need conquer throughout our more than a year relationship. Not everything is going to be my way. I have a responsibility to Hisoka, I'm committed to him. I should always be understanding. I'm the reason why we have to keep this relationship a secret, that we can't show off our love for each other. He's been understanding my problems with my father since the very beginning. I should be too. I know I'm stubborn and annoying. But it's Hisoka that we're talking about here. That should be enough. This is just because the very first time that in the history of our relationship that I've been this jealous — there! I said it! I'm jealous. I'm jealous, okay? But I love him. I love him so so much. When it comes to a relationship, it's not always about the other one's pride or ego. It's about grasping the meaning of your relationship, about understanding how one is acting stupid. It's all about understanding how love works, even if it's very complex, or even if it's impossible to explain. Well then, I'll forgive him.

He saw that I started relaxing."I'm really sorry, Y/n. I promise, it won't happen again." he finally came to my side and hugged me, kissing the top of my head.

"You better be, you idiot," I said, still making little sounds from the sob. I was just jealous. That's all. This new experience thought me something — never trust a woman like Tera. No no no wait. I don't think that's it. Oh! It's understanding and trusting the feelings of you other half, right? That should be it.

And furthermore, Hisoka stopped the kiss before it could happen. More reason to really forgive him, even if it was all just a coincidence that he was with Tera that time and that they were in that kind of position.

"Stop crying now," he said. He lifted my face and looked straight to my eyes. He smiled, kissing my tears away. Because of this action, more tears flowed. I just really can't stop myself from crying. I thought for a second there that we can no longer be with each other. I thought for a second that he likes Tera. I even thought that he'll replace me with her. Why didn't I just trust his feelings for me? His feelings for me is absolute. I am very sure about that. That's why I'm letting it slip away this time.

"I just wanted to be with Hisoka," I said, still sobbing. I can't get over my sobs! This is so embarrassing. I'm the worst! How can I face him after I'm done crying?

He chuckled. He looks happy. He kissed my forehead. "Do you want to know what I want?" he asked, smiling.

What does he want?

I shook my head. I know I'm all messed up. My hair is all over my face and my nose and eyes are all red and the fact that I'm still making 'hic' noises is a proof that I'm acting like a stubborn kid.

"What I want the most is . .. I want to spend more time with Y/n. I want to make up with her, and I want her to know that I'll never leave her, that I love her now, and forever. I'll always make her smile and —"

I kissed him. His words drowned me. I really wish that we could stay like this forever. I wish to stay in his arms. I don't want to let him go.

"Where did you get my key card, anyway?" I asked when I back away from his mouth a little.

"Some guy wandering around the hallway gave it to me. He said that we must fix this. Or the Princess will be sad. I don't know what he's talking about, but I figured that it must have to do with you." he answered while planting small kisses on my neck. He pulled me to his lap, still kissing my neck.

TORU! That must be Toru. There's no one else, right? I smiled. Of course it's him. I feel happy. So he knew about our relationship. He knew about Hisoka! But he's quiet about it, which is making me very very happy right now. I knew it. He knows everything. He gave Hisoka my key card because he doesn't want me to be sad because of what'd happened. He really is a good guy. I'm blessed that I get to know someone like him. My father trust Toru with his life, so that's how you can rate Toru from my father's view. That's why my father trust him to look after me. I have to start treating Toru nice. I shouldn't be rude to him like I always am around him. I should thank him. Yes. Maybe I should.