A/N: this chapter came out a lot longer than I thought it would. There's a scene between Peter and Lydia and it just... I was on a roll! It completely took control and I just rode out where the characters took me! I hope you all like it, I know it's not really centered just on Kira anymore but I promise I'll still be showing more of her training too!
*Thursday, School*
Kira climbed out of her dad's car, remembering to thank him for the ride as she hurried into the building. She was full of energy, still buzzing about how well Malia did yesterday! The Coyote had already spoken with Stiles, telling him about how she felt so much more confident now. From what Kira had heard though, he seemed to be a little doubtful, because it was just one lesson. So both girls were eager to talk with everyone and show them that she really was better, together, they could make the rest of the Pack listen.
Malia was already standing by Kira's locker, waiting, "There you are, I was hoping to talk to you… before class started."
"This isn't a bad talk right, you seem kinda nervous…"
Malia shook her head, "No, just wanted to, um, share something with you."
"Yea, no problem, we have plenty of time before school starts, let me just grab my books real quick." Kira hurried and swapped out her books, grabbing everything she'd need for her first 2 classes. Then she followed Malia outside to where the buses were parked, their usual 'spot' for talking about supernatural stuff.
"I um, wanted to say thank you, for being there with me yesterday. I was actually pretty nervous about everything since I wasn't really sure if I could even learn control… I was excited to try though, but still nervous…"
"That's totally normal. That was why I went, even if you weren't really showing it, I know how scary it can be to start training with someone new. Especially someone that you don't know very well."
"And someone that the whole Pack has been trying to tell me is evil. But it all turned out fine, Peter helped me really learn how to use an Anchor- I even practiced some when I got home. Homework always manages to stress me out… Not to mention arguing with Stiles…"
"Did he find out about you new Anchor?" Kira whispered, double checking to make sure they were alone.
"No… we haven't talked about that, he wouldn't stop asking if Peter hurt me, or yelled at me, if he shifted and attacked me, stuff like that…"
Kira smiled, "Well, he does care about you, he just wants to make sure it went okay. I mean, if you think about it, he's never seen Were-to-Were training, just Were-on-Were fighting. I can see how he'd totally imagine that there was a lot of growling and fighting going on."
"Yea, I guess, but why didn't he listen to me the first time I told him that it wasn't like that?"
"Um, because it's Stiles? I kinda get the feeling that when he doesn't trust someone… it takes a lot for him to change his mind, you know?"
"Yea, I guess," Malia shrugged. Stiles trusted her didn't he? So why couldn't he trust her more than he distrusted Peter... She hated fighting with Stiles but this was something she was absolutely sure about. He was the one telling her that control was so important and that she needed to learn- well now she was learning! "Oh, that wasn't even… I got side tracked by the conversation. I know you didn't really do it on purpose or anything but… by being there with me, you snapped me back. Or… your aura did at least."
"Is that what helped you focus all of a sudden? I know you lost control, well, you were kinda in control- you know what I mean, when you attacked Peter. I wasn't really sure what happened, I thought that maybe Peter 'said' something, you know with the Pack bond. You just went silent- like, from growling to super quiet."
Malia shook her head, "No, it was your aura. I had just opened my eyes and was thinking of ways to get the advantage when I saw it out of the corner of my eye. When I saw it, it all just kinda fell into place; I remembered that I can only see that when my eyes are glowing. My eyes only glow when I'm mad and ready to fight someone, which made me realize I was fighting when I was supposed to be in control. That also reminded me of how Liam said it snapped him out of it… which led to me reminding myself that I'm not like Liam. He's a pup, literally he's new to all of this. I'm not. Once I realized that, everything just sort of clicked into place."
"Wow, amazing how one thing leads to another and then another and then you have a solution to the problem. Kinda. It still needs work I'm sure but, you have something solid to go off of now! I'm glad I could help, even if I didn't really… do anything, I was just there."
Malia was about to answer when someone else came around the corner of the bus.
"There you two are… um… can we talk?"
"Hey Scott," Kira called out. "Uh, with me or Malia?"
"Well I mean, Malia can stay, I'd like to hear about how her training went… other than what Stiles yelled at me while complaining. But I, um, wanted to apologize too. I talked with Allison, or well, she talked with me, about yesterday." Scott slowly came closer, shoving his hands in his pockets. He really shouldn't be nervous about this, it wasn't like he didn't know how to apologize, he could admit to being wrong. Kira had… just never really been that angry with him before, and he didn't want to mess everything up.
"So, you'd actually listen to how training went? Not just argue with me like Stiles?" Malia asked.
"Yea, of course. I mean, Stiles wasn't really arguing, not seriously, that's… just the way Stiles is. He never told me that he didn't believe you, just that he was worried that maybe Peter was doing something you wouldn't understand was bad. He does believe you when you say that you do have more confidence though."
Satisfied, Malia nodded, "Okay then, we can talk about how the training went. And besides, that was why both Derek and Kira were there. Well no, Kira was there as my friend, Derek was there as the babysitter. If he doesn't want to just take my word for it, he can ask Derek. But first, apologize to Kira."
"Right." Scott cleared his throat and looked at the Kitsune, "I realized what I said almost immediately after I said it but for some reason… I dunno, something stopped me from apologizing yesterday. I know that sounds like a really weak excuse but, it's true."
"No, I understand, I mean, you're the Alpha of the Pack, everyone depends on you to keep them safe. To you, Peter hasn't… proven to be entirely safe yet. I… I do understand that as well, but, part of me got offended anyways. Just like part of you was on edge yesterday- it's a part of our inner natures. The important part is that you apologized, better late than never. And I accept it."
"And, I can totally prove that Peter isn't really Satan in a v-neck-"
"One session isn't really enough to prove anything, good or bad, technically," Scott interrupted. "But," he hastened to add, "I'm not going to try and stop you from going. Nothing bad happened yesterday, so he still has time to really prove that his methods work. I know control takes time."
"Good, I don't want you punishing him just because… I might not be perfect yet. I do feel more confident though!"
Kira smiled, "I feel more confident too, in my abilities. That should just be what we focus on right now."
"Yea, good idea. Um, maybe we can talk more about it at lunch? I promise you can sit with us today, it won't be weird."
Both girls laughed and nodded, just as long as nothing happened between then and now.
*Second Period History*
Class was about half-way over when it happened, Malia got called on to answer a question that everyone knew she didn't have the answer too. All eyes turned to her and Malia's mind went completely blank. She… surely she remembered reading that name! Where was it? Oh no… her brain just wasn't working… Malia could feel her heart start to race as a few of the other students quietly snickered. Just before she started to panic, looking down at the book for the answer, Peter's words echoed back in her head- she needed to focus on her Anchor. That was what all her training was for yesterday, this was the perfect place to put it to work! A small part of her mind skimmed the pages, looking for the name Mr. Yukimura mentioned. The rest of her brainpower was concentrating on the forest, on her old den, the sounds of nature all around her. If she had faith in her Anchor, in herself, she would stay calm, it was fine, everything was fine.
Stiles shifted in his seat, wondering how he could help calm her down… he was sitting next to her, not behind her so he couldn't like… hold her hand or anything like Allison had done for Scott. Still, if he didn't want her to shift in class he'd have to do something! He was watching as she frantically searched through the book and he was chewing on his lip, waiting to hear the sound of the pages ripping. But it didn't happen.
"Um, the Gettysburg Address was… given Thursday, November 19, 1863?" Malia called out, finding the name in the book. Hopefully it was the right answer...
"Yea, good job Malia," Mr. Yukimara said. "Next time try to have the answer before class?"
"Right… there's just… a lot to remember…" she mumbled as she looked down at her highlighted book. But still, she smiled to herself- she'd done it! Barely… she could feel her eyes… they'd started to tingle a bit, just like her fingertips did. Malia's grin grew wider; she was starting to understand her body better! Before she never really thought about the steps of shifting, she either shifted or she didn't. But now she could feel the hints, the precursors to the shift and it was able to warn her when she was losing it. Happy with herself, she turned to Stiles, smiling at him, only to find him gaping at her. Had… had she done something wrong? Did she shift a bit and not notice?
"How did you do that?" he whispered.
"Mr. Stilinski, pay attention please."
"Right, I am." Stiles looked forward again, picking up his pencil. When the bell rang later, finally excusing them, Stiles hurried out into the hall. "So, Malia, how'd you do that?"
"Find the answer? It was in the book…"
He rolled his eyes, "No, I meant… how'd you stay in control? You hate being put on the spot like that, with kids laughing at you and stuff…" Seriously, he'd been waiting to hear the pages tear, the quiet growl… even maybe see her lip start bleeding from her fangs, one of the usual signs of her control slipping. There wasn't even a flicker of blue in her eyes this time.
"Well, I know you haven't forgotten, I trained with Peter yesterday. He taught me how to… use my Anchor. That's all. So I was able to recall that and it helped me not lose control. Just like an Anchor is supposed to."
"But… Scott and I have been telling you about Anchors for weeks! It was like we were speaking another language when we explained it…. What changed?"
Malia sucked in a breath, did he know? There was no way he could know that she changed her Anchor, Kira wouldn't have said anything! Was it really obvious that she wasn't using thoughts of Stiles? This wasn't how she wanted to tell him but… if he'd already guessed... "Well-"
"Peter just, has a different way of explaining things. It was obviously a more effective method for Malia, something she could understand," Kira interrupted. She'd seen the look on her friend's face and it wasn't hard to figure out what she was thinking. But Kira knew that he hadn't meant it that way at all. She smiled at Stiles, "No need to get jealous, after all, remember, this is about Malia, not your ego."
"I… well… I know that! I was just…"
"We can talk about it at lunch, Scott already told me he wanted to hear about it. But I gotta go to class, you do too." Malia leaned in to kiss him before hurrying off to class. Thank goodness Kira had been there to throw Stiles off track, it wasn't like she could've lied to him. That had been too close! She just wasn't ready to tell him, she wanted more time to get her explanation right.
Stiles grumbled to himself as he hurried to class- he wasn't jealous! Well… okay, maybe just a little! But Malia was his girlfriend, shouldn't they have some sort of special bond or something? Hell, they'd gotten really close at Eichen, that should count for something…. But, Kira was right, Peter was a born-Were, he had experience with this kinda thing. Honestly, he was happy that she was learning, he was! Control was the most important thing right now, and as much as he argued with Malia about her new mentor, he was glad she was learning.
*Lunch*
Kira smiled at her friend as they met at her locker, "Any other close calls?"
"Yea…" she admitted. "Miss McCurdy asked me to 'assess' a sentence she'd put up on the board… wanted me to say what kind of um… ugh what did she call it?"
"Literary device?"
"Yea, that! How'd you know?"
Kira laughed, "I have Miss McCurdy too, just at a different time. Since we just started learning about them in detail, I figured that had to be what she was asking you about."
"Oh. Well, anyways… she asked me what kind of literary device was in the sentence on the board. One kid even just yelled out that there was no way I was going to know the answer. And… it wasn't like in history, how I could just skim through the book and look for the word that Mr. Yukimura had mentioned. I felt myself get frustrated but thankfully Miss McCurdy is nice. She scolded the class for laughing and said it was okay if I was having a hard time, that there were plenty of other students that hadn't done so well on the pre-section quiz. Then she walked me through how to identify what it was."
"And, what was it?"
"I can't… remember how to say it, it's like a huge word. But it was the one about sound effects."
"Oh, right! Um… onomon…ona… crap… I don't remember it either. But, you didn't shift?"
Malia shook her head, opening the door to the cafeteria, "No, I managed to stay calm enough, even though I wanted to punch that kid in the face. Then Miss McCurdy was walking me through the different types and I was able to tune out all the other kids and just listen to her. She talks to me like you do, so it's really easy to get what she's saying."
"That's good. I'm so glad you also got her instead of one of the other teachers. I can't imagine you doing well with a teacher like Mrs. Frenza- she's worse than Mr. Harris!"
"Wait, how would you even know? You never had Harris?!" Stiles argued, coming up behind them all of a sudden.
"Yea but we've all heard you, Scott, and Isaac complain plenty!"
"Yea, and that still doesn't compare to the true evil that is Mr. Harris, come on," Stiles pushed ahead of them and started towards their usual table. They were extremely lucky they never had to deal with Harris. Peter might be Satan in a v-neck but Harris definitely gave him a run for his money… He was Satan in a suit and tie. Stiles really wasn't sure which one was worse now that he thought about it.
The girls walked a little slower, their uncertainty coming back to them now as they followed him. But they'd promised to talk about how yesterday went, if they skipped out now, it would look bad. They just had no idea if the others would honestly listen or just try to pick everything apart and demonize Peter.
"Kira, um… can we talk?" a voice called out just as she set her tray down beside Lydia.
She spun around, surprised at him approaching her here, "Liam, what's up?"
The freshman was bouncing from foot to foot, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone else at the table, he didn't want them trying to talk to him. He just wanted to talk with Kira. "Maybe we can, um… eat outside?"
"Oh, right, of course," Kira turned to the rest of the group at the table, "Don't forget to actually listen to Malia's story okay?" With that, she grabbed her tray and followed Liam outside. She felt a little bad about abandoning Malia to answer questions on her own but she wasn't about to turn Liam away either. Kira had confidence in her friend to survive lunch.
"Thanks, I just… don't want them listening you know? And no way do I want to sit with them…"
"I get it, you still don't know us very well, not really. What did you want to talk to about, nothing's going on right? Um… no trouble with shifting?"
Liam shook his head, "No, as long as they don't hassle me between classes I'm actually not bad at controlling my anger. I've had a lot of practice but… for some reason, Scott and the others just really set me off…"
"I think… maybe, I'm not sure but, maybe it's because you're a Were now and they are Weres too, you know? Your Wolf picks up on the fact that they are Weres and it just sets you more on edge than before. But, anyways, just as long as that isn't the issue."
"Yea, um, right. I was just… hoping to ask how training went? Did Peter say anything about training me? Like he hasn't… changed his mind?"
"No, he hasn't changed his mind, he does still want to train you. He just isn't sure, since you have lacrosse and, you know… Scott. Would you really be okay with being there with Peter? You don't know him at all, or Derek- I don't want you to feel weird."
"Well, you'll be there right? I trust… Peter to teach me, he seemed sincere and I saw what he did with Malia after we fought. Plus I heard you talk about him and I trust you. You wouldn't… date anyone that was a bad person."
Kira smiled, it felt so good to hear someone say that; sure, Liam didn't have the history with Peter like the others, so of course he trusted Peter. But still, she knew that this was a big deal for Liam, he was still on the fence about accepting his Were side anyways. "You're right, I totally trust Peter, we've spent a lot of time together and he's proven himself to me. And after what I saw with Malia yesterday, I know he'll… I don't want to say go easy on you because he won't but…like he won't… he won't be like Scott, forcing you to listen to him. He'll explain things to you and stuff, in a much easier way, you know what I mean?"
"Yea. So… can you tell me about how it went? Maybe that will help me… I dunno… get ready for it? I don't even know… when I'd be able to meet with him… I have lacrosse practice every day! I can't…" Liam growled suddenly, overwhelmed with everything again.
"Hey, it's fine. Has lacrosse gotten hard for you at all? I heard um… one day at practice…"
"It's been hard. If practice is going fine then… I don't have any issue with control. But one wrong move on my end and I just… I lose it… which of course brings Scott, Stiles, and Isaac down on me! Scott keeps telling me to rein it in but like how?! I won't quit lacrosse because of this!"
"You got control at the loft all by yourself, you can do this. It's called an Anchor, I'm sure you've heard them say that. Just focus on something calming, okay, whatever helped you focus before."
Liam looked up at her, taking in her aura, in awe like always, letting it take over his mind. He wasn't sure if he'd ever really get over it, he'd never seen anything like it. Slowly he felt his anger fade and he squeezed his eyes closed, counting his breaths like his stepdad taught him to calm himself the rest of the way. "This is hard… it's almost impossible for me to do that at practice… and it still takes me a bit when I'm alone… ugh…"
"Don't focus on that, here, I'll tell you about how Malia's training went, we can just focus on that. I'm sure in general that will help you realize that this isn't a hopeless situation." Kira sat down at the table, noticing the grateful smile from Liam. He'd master this, he just needed time, and someone to explain it to him in a way where he didn't feel threatened.
*Scott's Table*
Malia chewed on her lip as she watched Kira walk away- could she get them to listen all by herself? Only one way to find out… so she sat down and cleared her throat, a little unnerved that they were all quiet, waiting. None of them were peppering her with questions, it was… weird. "I guess I'll um, start right after Allison dropped us off. So… I was really eager to get started but he wanted to go over the rules first and-" She stopped when both Allison and Isaac started snickering.
"Sorry," Allison quickly apologized, "It's just that… Peter, going over the rules?"
"Peter probably has his own sets of rules… like rule one: don't tell the others what happens here," Stiles pointed out.
"Stiles! It wasn't like that, just listen. And also, that's the same reaction that Derek had. But we went over the rules first, rules about how training was going to go. He said that what happened during training stayed there and-"
"Told you!"
"Stiles, stop interrupting her!" Scott admonished.
Malia lightly growled at Stiles so he'd know that she was upset with him before continuing on with her explanation. "He wanted me to know that no matter what happened, whenever training was over, it was in the past. Like, I couldn't still be mad or upset, there was training and then there was everything outside of training. I couldn't hold any grudges if we ended up fighting and he kicked my butt. Which I understood, Peter is supposed to be training me how to communicate with my Coyote in various different circumstances, including when I'm mad at something. Then he asked me a few questions and based on my answers he explained that I'm… different than you guys, which is why I was having trouble."
"Different how exactly?" Scott asked. Were Werecoyotes different from Werewolves?
"Well, it has to do with me being fully shifted for years… how I was almost entirely a wild animal. I couldn't even be considered a Rogue because even though my animal side took over, I was in animal form, not Human form. I have a completely different bond with my Coyote than you guys do with your Wolves."
Scott and Isaac both looked at each other, not really following what she meant.
"I don't…"Malia chewed on her lip, she couldn't explain it like Peter had. She'd listened to him and understood what she meant but mostly she just felt the difference, it had clicked with her. Malia still had trouble putting everything in words when it came to her instincts and feelings. "You'd have to ask Peter for the details, it all makes sense I promise. Peter was able to explain it to me differently, that my Coyote isn't angry like your Wolves are… for me anger isn't really a trigger."
Lydia raised her hand, "Okay, question. How is anger not a trigger when it causes you to shift uncontrollably?"
"I… okay um, my shift is tied to my anger but my control isn't. Like… when Scott or Isaac get really mad, they lose control, the Wolf takes over and they have to fight it. For me, the Coyote recognizes that I'm mad and that triggers a different kind of response. I might be mad but I'm still fully in control, I think my own thoughts. I just… truly think that I want to bite someone even though I shouldn't."
"Oh, I get it, yea, that makes sense."
Everyone looked at Lydia, Allison leaning forward, "Um, can you explain it to the rest of us please?"
"Okay so, way back when Scott was having control issues, every time he'd get mad, his animalistic side would take over, the Wolf would just assume control and Scott would be helpless to control his actions. Right?"
"Yea, that's why he almost attacked me quite a few times, like he didn't even recognize me at first."
"Right. With Malia, she's saying that she doesn't have that reaction. Yes, she shifts uncontrollably but that's because her Coyote is telling her that she needs to fight but the difference is that Malia, on a subconscious level, fully agrees that she wants to fight. The issue is that, now that she's Human again and we've all told her that fighting is bad and that shifting is bad, a part of her brain knows she can't shift. So the two parts of her brain are arguing with what to do, and the Coyote just comes out. But she is conscious of her actions, she knows that she's growling at someone, versus how Scott would have no idea and wouldn't mean to."
"Yea, exactly! And on top of that, Peter said that back in the wild, the Coyote was always in control and the Human was mostly asleep. The Coyote naturally wants to handle some situations with violence because that's the only way to survive in the wild. She's doing it all to protect me, as an instinct- it isn't because I'm just mad and I want to kill things for no reason. Now that I'm Human, I have to remind the Coyote that we can't just attack people anymore and it's hard to think that way. It isn't natural to me at all!" When everyone was nodding, Malia continued, "Okay so after we established that, we went on to-"
"Okay wait, sorry, what about the other rules?"
"Other rules?"
"Yea..." Stiles said, "Peter was going over the rules with you, but you only mentioned rule one, what were the other rules?"
"We never actually… got to any of the other rules… We went straight into talking about my control issues and then working on my Anchor. The rules were for training so I guess he'll tell me more rules as I need to follow them."
Scott blinked, that sounded… weird. Why did he only have one rule? It didn't seem like Peter to get sidetracked by Malia's questions and then just forget to finish explaining the rules.
"You'll have to ask him, but right now, that's the only rule, what happens during training is for training purposes. It isn't real fighting and it isn't bad, it's just… training. So, anyways, my Anchor…" Oh, right… Malia didn't exactly want to tell everyone like this, especially not without first telling Stiles.
"Yea, what did he tell you that helped… make sense?" Scott asked.
"Um… he explained that…" Malia searched her brain, how had Peter put it, she could tell them what happened just as long as she skipped over the part where they discussed Stiles not being her Anchor. "Oh! I remember how he said it now, he said I should just picture a real boat and anchor. How when the anchor is being used, it keeps the boat steady, no matter what the water or wind want the boat to do. He said to picture myself like a boat, lost in the waves whenever my emotions get to be too strong. Then I grab onto my Anchor and let that keep me steady."
"But that was what we said!" Stiles argued.
"No it wasn't! You said that whenever I got mad, just think of you!"
"Yea, exactly!"
Malia rolled her eyes and groaned, "You never explained why thoughts of you would help, you never explained what exactly thinking about you was supposed to do. Scott shared stories about Allison and how she could just hold his hand and he'd calm down but that doesn't make any sense to me. That's like when you tell me that 5 times 2 is 10 but don't explain why it equals 10, just that it does!"
"But… it does equal 10… it will always equal 10."
"This is why I like when Kira helps me with homework during lacrosse practice… She showed me with pencils, explaining that I have 5 different groups of two and that I'm adding them all together and it's shorter to think of it one way instead of the other. She at least explains the reason behind it, not just that it's some magical thing that happens; when you combine 2 and 5 in a certain way it equals 10 but then when you combine them a different way it equals 7!"
"Okay, okay, I understand what you mean… I just… I learned about that stuff years ago, to me it's just second nature right now and I forget how to explain it. As for the Anchor stuff, that isn't my fault, I mean, I'm not actually a Were so I don't truly understand how it works, on a personal level. I was just going off of what I was told."
Scott smiled sheepishly, "I probably could've explained it a little better but at the time, back when I was first Bit, I didn't really understand it myself. And then… Like Stiles said, I kinda took for granted that you'd understand. I mean, you'd been a Coyote for years without any problems, I didn't really think that you'd have trouble with… knowing what an Anchor was, just in picking one. So I'm glad that Peter really does have a lot more experience in this kinda stuff, it sounds like he had no problem at all finding a way to explain it to you."
"No, it took like… 5 minutes. And then I was able to spend the rest of the time practicing how to use it."
"Oh, so how did you practice? I mean, please tell me it was better than what Stiles did with Scott!" Allison laughed.
"Kinda? I mean he didn't throw things at me, but he made me think of stressful things and stuff, anything to get my anger up or my anxiety. Once I was shifted, he'd have me think of my Anchor and see how long it took for me to find control and un-shift."
"That's it? I mean, that sounds like it was a pretty easy day then,"
Malia gave everyone a small smile, decided that it would be best if she didn't… mention the fight. Not that it had been a real fight, Peter never actually attacked back or anything. Yea, that was better off left unsaid for now.
*Outside*
"Whoa, they got in a fight?!" Liam exclaimed.
"Not really! I shouldn't have said it like that. It was more like Malia just lost control finally and got super mad. Like before she was mostly just… anxious I guess, enough that her claws came out but that was it. After so many times of that happening, I guess her Coyote finally felt really threatened and she decided to protect herself. Peter totally anticipated it and stayed in control, he didn't fight back at all. Just kept trying to talk with her until she remembered to focus on her Anchor."
""Well, I guess that's a good sign for me. I don't really want anyone to kick my ass just because I'm having a hard time reining myself in. But at the same time, I'd rather he kicked my ass than let me just… hurt someone, y'know?"
"I totally get that. And, just because this was how things went with Malia doesn't mean that's how he'll do things with you, keep that in mind. Malia's experience has been unique, because of her past," Kira reminded him.
"True, she has a big head start on me, that's for sure."
"I'm sure he's going to tell you the same thing as Malia though, it's perfectly okay to lose control during these sessions. He said something about… you can't really understand control until you've completely lost it. Right now you're absolutely afraid to lose control and it's putting stress on you. So I'm sure he's going to say that a lot during your first meeting."
Liam nodded. That sounded really scary. He was a monster! No… he sighed at himself, Kira had asked him to stop calling himself that. He wasn't a monster, just… a Were now. "Um, just keep me posted on when he wants to try to train. Right now… my only free day is Sunday… That hardly seems like it would help, only one day a week?"
"We'll figure something out, don't worry."
"Oh, um, you can continue telling me about yesterday, I didn't mean to interrupt."
*Scott's Table*
"So that's what we practiced doing for about an hour and then he told me we should stop there. I didn't really want to but he said it might put too much stress on me and it was best to stop before I overdid it. Then I ran home."
"Okay, it really doesn't sound like it went horribly at all, right?" Scott asked, looking at the others.
"Naw, seems pretty chill…"
"Yea, even Derek was more hands on with us when we were first turned… although… I think that had more to do with the fact that we had to learn how to fight a Kanima on top of everything else so… it was hectic in general. We were learning how to fight basically, which meant we all got thrown around a lot…" Isaac's voice trailed off as he remembered all the time that the 4 of them had spent in that train depot… God he still missed Erica and Boyd so much… And he'd almost lost Allison on top of that? Maybe he should talk to Derek about training again, like, real training…
"So, that means I can go back right? You approve? I mean, I'd still go regardless but this means I won't have to fight with you about it?"
Scott laughed, "No, I still give my approval. Am I still nervous about the whole thing? Oh yea, but… I'll concede that yesterday really seemed like a breakthrough for you, and that's good. So yes, you can keep having sessions with him." Of course, he'd already decided to text Derek, just to get a second perspective on how the day had gone. Not that Malia had lied to him- she seemed really nervous to tell the story but he hadn't heard any outright lies. He just… wanted to also hear Derek's opinion on how it went. Malia would be up for a lot more punishment while still thinking it was fine. It was a good sign that Derek never messaged him saying it was a disaster, that he had to call it off early or something. So Scott was sure that Malia had pretty much kept things accurate, it would just help settle his nerves. It could wait until after lunch though, just so Malia didn't get angry and think he didn't believe her or something- he'd learned his lesson from yesterday!
Satisfied that she had convinced them, Malia started to eat her lunch, eager for a change of topic. She didn't like when all the focus was on her. Thankfully the rest of them seemed to know that and moved onto another topic.
After a moment, Stiles leaned in, gently bumping her with his elbow, "Hey, I am proud of you. You did great in class today." They might argue about Peter but he'd be damned if Malia didn't know that he cared.
"Thanks." It meant a lot to her, it really did. She was able to finish lunch feeling 50 pounds lighter. Hopefully Kira's conversation was going well too.
*After Lunch*
Lydia sighed to herself as she walked to class… maybe Derek was right, maybe she did need to have words with Peter… Malia really did sound more confident and listening to her explain how the session went… Stiles had looked unsure still but he didn't argue and Scott was supportive. So yea, Derek was right, they definitely needed to clear the air between them, or… at least try to… This was an obstacle and Lydia did not like obstacles; she just needed to look at this objectively. Peter would not continue to have control over her and if he was truly sorry, he needed to prove it. She suddenly turned away from the stairs, heading towards Ms. Morrell's office. After all, there was no time like the present. If he was going to be dating Kira and training the Pack, Lydia was going to make damn sure he was behaving! Without even checking to see if she was busy, Lydia opened the door, "Ms. Morrell, I need to be excused."
"Lydia, is everything okay?" the counselor asked.
"No, I need to have a talk with Peter and if I don't go now, I'll just talk myself out of it."
Marin nodded, knowing all about what was going on in Scott's Pack right now. "I take it I'll be excusing Miss Argent as well?"
"No, I um, I want to do this alone. If I take Allison, it will just turn into a fight like last time. I need to do this on my own."
"Are you sure?"
Lydia nodded, she was strong enough to face him. Derek kept telling her that he was trying to be different than before- well here would be his chance to prove it to her. Seeing that Ms. Morrell was going to actually excuse her, Lydia pulled out her phone to text Derek.
So I decided to take you up on your advice. Have Peter come to the loft… I'll talk with him.
He's already here actually, we were discussing how to approach Liam. You'll have to surprise him though, if I tell him you're coming… he'll probably make excuses to leave.
Well keep him there, he isn't the one that gets to be nervous about this.
Did you want me here? I don't think Allison should come…
I guessed the same thing, I'm coming alone. But yea… can you stay? Peter might not like it but I feel like it would just be a disaster if it was the two of us. I'm getting ready to leave school now.
Alright then, I'll keep him in the loft until you get here. I promise, he won't hurt you.
Lydia couldn't help but smile to herself, she knew Derek would protect her. He wasn't that same angry Alpha that held a grudge because she inadvertently brought Peter back to life. As soon as Ms. Morrell handed her the slip of paper, she went to the office and excused herself.
*Loft*
"Don't tell me that's Scott with problems?" Peter groaned as Derek looked at his phone. There had been a few quick-fire responses and he knew that Derek didn't text many people. Couldn't they have one day without problems?
"Actually no, it's not."
"Oh… good." Peter waited for clarification but it didn't come, "I won't pry then."
"Good."
Damn if he didn't want to though- Derek played everything close to his chest… Just because he was being secretive didn't mean that the texts were personal, although Peter would love to tease him if they were. That wasn't what he was here for though… They needed to make plans for Liam.
Derek put his phone back in his pocket and crossed his arm, "So, Liam is going to be hard to get to, because of his schedule. Scott's told me that he's absolutely adamant that he won't quit lacrosse and Finstock has them practicing during the week and now that the season has started, that means games every Saturday…"
"Once a week isn't going to be enough. He'll have to take a break from practice- not quit per se, just… a break."
"Good luck getting him to agree to that."
Peter rolled his eyes, if the kid wanted to learn how to live as a Were, he'd take a break. The thing was, Peter wanted him to come to that conclusion before he hurt anyone, not after… And the major thorn in his side was Scott because he'd already burned his bridge with Liam by being overly… assertive. Not something he ever thought he'd say about Scott. "God, this Pack is seriously more trouble than it's worth sometimes…"
"You can't say that, you found your Mate because of this Pack."
"It was a figure of speech now knock that smirk off your face before I do it for you. You're just jealous because you haven't gotten laid in awhile."
"We are not discussing my love life. Ever."
"Oh come on, we just to talk to each other about everything! How many times did I help you sneak out so you could see Paige?"
Derek scowled and turned towards the stairway, "Yea, that was before Paige died and Kate got a hold of me. That was before our family was murdered."
Peter winced… he always managed to forget just how hard Derek was on himself. Peter at least rightfully blamed Kate for killing everyone, he knew she manipulated Derek! Derek was the most loyal Packmate anyone could ever ask for, he was Talia's favorite, even if he wasn't the Alpha-in-Training. But Derek would probably never forgive himself for being young and absolutely heartbroken. "Derek…"
Derek went into his room and grabbed his jacket before hurrying back down the stairs. He knew he couldn't leave, Lydia was on her way but… he needed some air.
"Oh, are we going somewhere?" Peter asked. He didn't really seem like he wanted to go for a run but judging at how fast the mood shifted, he wouldn't be surprised. They could fit in a run before talking about Liam some more, if that was what Derek needed. He really didn't mean for the conversation to shift back to… her.
"You can stay here, I'll be right back. I just need a minute... I had no reason to just jump to Kate…" Derek sighed to himself, hating that even after all this time she could just… ruin everything. Peter's lighthearted teasing had hit too close to home. "Besides, we haven't finished talking about Liam."
Peter narrowed his eyes, it wasn't like Derek to just leave, let alone encourage him to just 'hang out' in the loft. Not even when he was in a funk- especially not when he was in a funk. If Derek really just wanted space, he'd kick Peter out and hunker down alone. So he was clearly hiding something, but Peter wasn't going to push for details. If Derek didn't want to talk about whatever it was, there'd be no forcing him, Kate was definitely a sore subject after all. "I'll just be here then… alone…" He didn't miss the smirk on Derek's face as he slid the loft door closed, now what was that about? No point in questioning it now, he'd probably find out sooner or later. So he got up and went into the kitchen, looking for food, frowning as he looked through Derek measly collection of snacks. He'd have to make d0 though, who knows how long it might be until his nephew was ready to resume their conversation. Not that he was going to let the time go to waste, Peter was perfectly capable of brainstorming on his own.
That's what he was doing minutes later, pacing the kitchen, when he heard the loft door slide open again. "Not bad, did you really collect yourself that fast. Or did Scott do some-" He cut himself off as he turned and found Lydia standing in the doorway beside Derek. Oh that sneaky bastard! He'd invited Lydia here? Why?!
"We need to talk."
"About what?" Peter asked as nonchalantly as he could. He really wasn't sure what was going to happen but he knew that talks about Liam had just been moved to the back burner. The two of them continued to just stand in the doorway, staring at him… He actually had to rein his Wolf in, he was feeling cornered right now and if he didn't curb those feelings, he'd just get aggressive and that was the last thing this situation needed. But, oh, was Derek going to hear about it later!
Lydia closed the door and walked further into the loft, "Derek suggested that we clear the air. If you're really trying to date Kira, you're going to have to convince me that you've changed. Otherwise I'm just going to continue to be a thorn in your side."
"How am I supposed to do that exactly? Our last meeting didn't go so well, what, with you running out and all…" And it hadn't even been about him and her, it was about Kira.
"I'm a lot calmer today than I was on Tuesday- I didn't even bring Allison this time. Just you and me," Lydia stated, dropping her purse onto the couch. She was certain that Peter saw passed her façade but she was going to keep it up as long as she could. As long as she kept the nervousness stamped down, she could face him.
"And Derek?"
"I'm just here as a witness."
Peter huffed quietly, "I don't think this is a good idea…"
"Why not? Afraid that you can't convince me?"
"If anyone were to find out that I was alone with you, they'd freak out," he told her. Derek or no Derek, the others would not approve of this. Besides, he didn't even know how to show Lydia he was different. She'd never trust anything he said… It wasn't like a simple apology would fix things between them, Peter wasn't that stupid. Why did his nephew want to do this now?
Lydia took a few steps towards him, changing the subject, "You once offered to teach me, why?"
Derek almost choked when he registered what Lydia was saying- when had that happened? Why didn't anyone tell him these things?! Had Lydia really gone to Peter on her own in order to learn more about her powers? Derek had no idea that she'd been that desperate to figure it out, although… so many things had happened a couple of months ago and they were all trying to figure out how to fight the Nogitsune. No surprise that she had probably felt useless at the time and wanted to find a way, any way, to help them. But to go to Peter?
"Because I wanted to help. I knew that the trauma I put you through ended up awakening your latent abilities-"
"How do you know that?!"
Peter leaned against the table and crossed his arms, "That's how Banshees work."
"You're saying you knew what I was?" Lydia asked, narrowing her eyes. "I thought you just knew I was somehow immune…" This… this changed so much. Not only did he know what she was, he knew as soon as she started hearing things what was happening to her? His bullshit excuse of being her 'spark' wasn't… fake? Sure, in general she believed him when he'd told her that the first time but she didn't truly understand what he meant by that… maybe it had been the Bite of an Alpha that woke up her supernatural-ness… But apparently that wasn't what he'd been referring to.
"I did know you were immune to the Bite, because I knew you were a Banshee. I'll be honest, when I Bit you, I didn't intend to wake up your powers- I know that day a few months ago I implied otherwise." Peter cleared his throat. It had just been so easy to rile them up, and he was on edge that day, seeing Allison in the loft. Maybe he used his sarcasm as a defense, like Stiles… he was just better at it, using it to deflect away from the issue at hand. Which… had worked against him that day, it set Allison on edge and she got just as defensive and then two of them were at each others' throats. Of course he didn't want to just admit that he'd absolutely traumatized her and ended up awakening her powers… so he'd lied.
"So, you knew I was a Banshee and that I'd be immune to the Bite… so even from the start you were planning on using me as your backup plan- you knew that Scott and Derek were going to try to kill you." That's what he had admitted before, that she was his backup plan! They just hadn't really discussed it further, Allison had called him insane… And now his comment about being around to help her master her abilities- at the time it hadn't made any sense but now she realized it was a slip on his end. He admitted back then, maybe by accident, the he knew she was a Banshee and she didn't even know what he'd been implying…
"Correct, you were the perfect person, I could transfer some of my memories into you without actually turning you. I did it via a bite because I needed them to think I was still intending to grow my Pack, that I wanted more power. I couldn't let any else know… I actually needed you, a Banshee, even one that wasn't aware of her powers yet."
Derek had to honestly refrain from saying anything at this point- Peter had known even back then? He'd offered to teach her? Why had he waited so long to tell them about her powers? If he had known right when she started hearing things and finding bodies… he could've saved everyone a lot of stress… Granted Derek knew the reason he didn't say shit… but that was besides the point! Hell, he still couldn't get around the fact that Peter had planned everything so carefully… had transferred memories to Lydia without any of them even knowing until it was too late. Even when he'd used Lydia to bring himself back, Derek had just refused to acknowledge that Peter was that conniving, that smart… That was why he'd blamed Lydia, even though, deep down, he knew she had no choice in the matter.
Lydia narrowed her eyes, "Why?" That wasn't what she'd been expecting to hear at all! Not only was Peter admitting that he had targeted her specifically, but that it was because she was a Banshee, not just immune. How did her being a Banshee help him avoid death?
"How else would you have heard my whispers? There are other creatures out there that are immune to the Bite but they wouldn't have served my purpose. Memory sharing is a risky practice at best, and it works best in Were-to-Were transfers. Were-to-Human isn't quite so bad, but any other creature… the process is… lacking to say the least. My memories would have come through as foggy if I tried to transfer them into any other creature, but with a Banshee, they'd come through crystal clear. Even if you didn't know how to truly use your Banshee powers to listen to the whispering, the fact that my memories were now inside your head, you would have no choice but to listen. I disguised my intentions with a bite- I knew no one, not even Derek, could guess that memories could be transferred via fangs and not just claws. So, I gave you my memories, sealed a part of myself inside you, and then… used you to bring me back to life… Afterwards, I realized just what I had done- you won't believe how… clearheaded I was when I woke back up. The insanity was just… gone. If I'm honest, I think it was because my inner Wolf was so weak, coming back from the dead if very taxing; it let my Human side realize what I'd been doing. When you started exhibiting signs of being a Banshee… I knew that I'd traumatized you. Like I mentioned earlier, that's how… Banshee powers work. It's fucked up but, they don't usually awaken until you've experienced something awful. And I was that something."
"Yea, having you inside my head, manipulating me and scaring me… traumatizing seems like an understatement!"
Peter nodded his head, "When I realized that your powers were manifesting… I wasn't sure what to do… I knew you'd probably want nothing to do with me, that much was obvious."
"Yet you offered anyways."
Peter shrugged, "Only after months of debating with myself. Only after it was clear that you needed guidance, that you were overwhelmed… and that you were ready to learn. And it was an open offer, you didn't have to come."
"Enough with the bullcrap, you just wanted my help!"
"If you're talking about Talia's claws-"
"Yes, I am!"
Derek was starting to grind his teeth, Peter tried to use his mother's claws- that was what he'd wanted them for?! No… he needed to calm down, Peter was different now, no one understood that better than him. That hadn't just been another manipulation… He needed to wait for Peter to explain himself, if not now, then later, when they were alone.
"It wasn't like that. First and foremost, I knew you'd never believe me if I said that I just wanted to help you. Second, the claws were the only thing in my possession that I could have used to help teach you. I knew that they had whispers still locked away inside them. Yes, I was curious as to what memories my sister stole from me but I had no idea it would be something so shocking. So I assumed they'd be safe to use… You aren't the only Banshee I know, so if I was that desperate for answers, I could've taken them elsewhere. But like I just said, I had no idea they'd have such a surprising secret, so I was in no hurry to find out. I held onto them, figuring that they'd be useful in the future. I already had the idea in mind to use them to help teach you, but that depended on if you'd actually meet with me. So when you called, I had the perfect bargaining chip, something believable! That it would be a favor for a favor.
"Now, I'll admit, the meeting didn't go as smoothly as I would have liked, Allison got under my skin and I reacted poorly… You told me she was coming but still, having her around set me on edge, I knew that she'd be even more disbelieving than you! You at least wanted to try and learn, you'd be more willing to hear me out than Allison… And of course she was amazingly skeptical of what I was saying, rightfully so, I was being… my usual self… Somehow we managed to get past that and you actually heard Talia's whispers… When you told me the truth… that I apparently had a child, well, I wasn't at all prepared to hear that. So I was a little aggressive, demanding answers. I shouldn't have done that but it's in the past now."
"Allison got under your skin, she set you on edge? You were antagonizing us!" she yelled, letting her anger out. It felt so good to finally yell at him!
"I don't do well with Hunters- especially Argents! That shouldn't be a surprise. So I gave Allison a little attitude… and it backfired and ruined the meeting, I know that's on me! And she had every reason to zap me, she was concerned for your safety, I'm not blaming her for that either. I was just explaining why I acted the way I did. I'll repeat, I wasn't actually expecting you to reveal such a… huge secret. I had no idea that my sister would steal something like that from me. A daughter? Why would she…" he took a deep breath, collected himself. "Needless to say I was surprised, and I know that I never really helped you learn how to control your powers that day-"
Lydia cleared her throat, interrupting him, "In a way, you did. The hint you gave me, when you stopped me from leaving that first time. Even just that small hint cleared up so much. It let me know that while I was screaming, I was supposed to listen and not turn away from the whispers like I had been trying to do. I learned why certain sounds were important and how they could help me focus. But are you really trying to tell me that you were helping out of the goodness of your heart?"
"Not out of goodness no, out of penance. There's a difference. To do so out of the goodness of my heart would mean that I honestly just wanted to help, that I had information on Banshees and wanted to freely share it with you. My intentions were not so altruistic. But the reason I told you at the time was also a lie… but a believable one: that I wanted information only you could give me. I helped you because I was feeling guilty and it was the only way I could try to make things right. I thought if I at least offered…"
"That you'd be able to sleep at night again? That the guilt would go away?" Lydia sneered. "If only it were that simple for me! That I could just forgive you and the nightmares would stop! I was miserable for months! And just when I start to get better, you make a move on Kira and I think history is repeating itself. All those feelings, the fear, it came flooding back!"
"Things are different with Kira! I understand why you refuse to trust me, I can see how you'd be distrustful of anything I'd do, but it's different. And I have no idea how to convince you! It took a lot just to convince Derek and we have the Pack bond!"
"Everyone keeps throwing it in my face, that I'm not a Were so I can't understand. I don't have any precious Pack bonds to go off of, to ensure that you really have changed. But I won't be taking anyone else's word, I need to see for myself," Lydia told him, a fierce look on her face.
"How am I supposed to do that- you just said, you aren't a Were, I can't just create a Pack bond with you…"
Lydia pulled a hair band off of her wrist and tied her hair up in a messy bun before striding forward and pulling out a chair. She sat down, back of her neck exposed, "Show me."
Derek stepped forward, eyes full of concern… she couldn't mean that!
"Oh no," Peter backed away. "I'm not touching you. If anyone were to see the marks on your neck, they'd demand my head."
"Oh don't be so paranoid, I'm not going to tell Scott that you attacked me or something. I almost always wear my hair down, he won't see it. Besides, Derek is a witness, remember? I'm asking you to do it, you didn't force this on me. Now, convince me- and I'd prefer that you didn't use your fangs this time."
Peter blinked in surprise. Lydia… she was a lot stronger than anyone gave her credit for. He could sense the tension coming from her, the underlying spark of distrust and anxiety, but she was masking it all behind her Queen Bee persona. He had to give her credit, she hadn't broken down yet, given in to the anxiety of being close to him… But she was close to the edge, this was dangerous territory. "You don't want me inside your head again, I know you don't."
"Lydia, this could trigger you all over again. It's one thing to see him with Kira, recall all the bad things he did. It's another to feel his memories again… Trust me." Derek spoke softly, needing her to understand. Talking about Kate was triggering, seeing her was triggering! But when she'd actually caught him, tied him up… had touched him again… that was a thousand times worse than anything he could've imagined. It would be the same for Lydia…
She looked over at him, noticing the look of absolute pain on his face. How could she convince him that she'd be alright? Lydia knew this was going to suck, hadn't even really planned for it to happen this way but now that the words were out of her mouth… she knew it was the only way she'd ever believe. Her voice was soft when she spoke to him, "I can do this… no, I have to do this. I survived it the first time around and I'm at least fully aware of what's going to happen this time. Besides, I know you won't let him hurt me."
Derek nodded, quickly walking over to her, kneeling by her side and taking her hand. He'd be right there, a solid reminder that whatever she was seeing, wasn't truly happening, it was just a memory.
Lydia smiled at him gratefully before turning back to Peter, "If you really are different from the Alpha that controlled me, then this won't be like the last time. I'm asking you to show me that you've changed in the only way I can truly understand. Show me something that will convince me."
He sighed but stepped forward, lightly pressing his fingers along the back of her neck, "Are you absolutely sure you want me to do this?" He looked down at his nephew as he asked, hoping that he'd call it off, convince her to try something else…
"Just get it over with. Derek is here and apparently he trusts you enough because he isn't even arguing. Are you really going to mess everything up by giving me horrible memories?" Lydia asked him. "I can't feel a Pack bond with you, and I honestly don't know yet if I can trust you to teach me anything more about my powers but… for Kira's sake, I need to know you're trustworthy."
Derek nodded from the floor, they all knew that Lydia had a point. Derek knew that Peter was really changed and that Lydia was trusting him to be right about that. This was the easiest way and both of them knew that Lydia wouldn't stand to be called weak right now. At the first sign of distress, he'd make Peter stop, but until then…
"Okay, I'll do my best not to… overload you. But this isn't an exact science, I can only partially control what you'll see." He waited until Lydia nodded before he unsheathed his claws and carefully pressed them into her skin.
Lydia's eyes closed as a swarm of images bombarded her and it was a moment before she could begin deciphering what she was seeing. Surprisingly it was Derek, not Kira that she saw first; it was the two of them sparring in the woods. She witnessed as Derek asked about Laura and felt the pain and sorrow… listened as Peter relived that night and asked for forgiveness. She felt Peter drop to his knees and bare his throat and even she recognized his posturing despite not being a Were. She felt his contempt and humiliation as he told Derek about the monster he'd become and in that moment, Peter also inadvertently shared his secret with her… how he was afraid to shift, afraid that he would never be a proper wolf again, only a monster. But before she could dwell on the fact that Peter had also inherited the power of a full shift, the scene in front of her eyes changed; now she could see Kira, opening the loft door, hopeful look on her face as she sat down next to her… no, next to Peter, these were memories seen through his eyes. Lydia watched as the Kitsune took notes, listening intently to what Peter was saying… things blurred again for a moment and then she was in the woods, helping Kira learn how to control her FoxFire. Then she was helping Kira work on her first Tail… it was then that Kira had kissed him the first time and she could feel how it affected Peter. He'd been surprised by it… Another flash and suddenly she was in a dark house, fighting someone when a whimper reached her ears. Kira was hurt, facing off against a Kanima. The absolute fear and anger that surged through Peter surprised her as he realized that Kira had been hurt. She witnessed how he carried her back to the car, was so gentle with her, so careful, but also proud of her. Next it was flashes of conversation with the Yukimuras, sometimes angry, sometimes not. Lydia realized there was plenty of proof and that these were only Peter's memories alone, not even Kira's or Derek's. She wouldn't need to see anything else, just this had been enough- she hadn't been expecting to see the moment with Derek at all… had thought she'd have to beg Derek to share it with her. Lydia was preparing for Peter to end the connection when another memory filled her head; Kira over top of her suddenly biting down on her neck and Lydia was overwhelmed with different feelings, but the one she recognized most was the control Peter was exerting over himself as well as the absolute shock of being Claimed. The scene morphed one last time and Lydia could hear Kira pleading with Peter, to Claim her. Then suddenly the connection was dropped and she felt the pinch at the back of her neck as Peter's claws were removed.
"I- I didn't mean to show you that last part," Peter stammered out, uncharacteristically nervous, dancing backwards, away from her. All of his feelings about Kira had just made the memories surface and he couldn't pull them back in time. He was sure that Lydia could have easily been convinced without needing to see those moments between them. Peter looked away as Lydia spun around in the chair, he couldn't bring himself to look at her, actually embarrassed that he had let those memories slip.
"You really do care for her," Lydia whispered, taken by surprise at the moisture in her eyes. While a part of her was also embarrassed about being privy to Peter's love life, it had actually really made his feelings sink in. She'd seen that Kira did indeed come to Peter and asked for help, had seen her parents being understandably resistant at first but eventually coming around. There hadn't been any lies or deceit, just Peter being honest and Kira's parents realizing that maybe it was okay. And she had seen that Kira did indeed mark him first, and asked for it in return.
"I do. I was just as surprised by it as you are, when I first realized how deep her feelings ran for me. It didn't take us any time at all to realize that we both wanted to be more… So to hear everyone assume that I was manipulating her… To feel myself being shunned by everyone after I've tried so hard to make things right… I just want to make things right."
"I believe you," Lydia said, gingerly touching the back of her neck. While earlier it had felt good to yell at Peter and make him uncomfortable, she didn't feel any of that anger anymore. She was still horribly conflicted, a large part of her mind screaming that she shouldn't ever be alone with him, shouldn't trust him enough to take another lesson from him. Spending time alone with Peter in that manner was too much right now. Her mind was crawling from that familiar buzz that was Peter… old feelings of anxiety threatening to surface, balking at the unwanted presence again… But she believed it was worth it- at the very least, she did fully understand now, that Peter loved Kira and just wanted to be the best he could, for her if not for himself. "You aren't forgiven, but I do see the difference now. I won't hassle you or Kira about it and I sincerely hope you can help Malia and Liam find control. Maybe one day, Scott and I will heal enough to also ask you for help again. But for now, this is enough."
Peter watched as she closed her eyes, collecting herself, he saw how tightly she was gripping Derek's hand and knew this had taken a toll on her. Memory transfers were very intimate and the last time her mind had felt him… well… they all knew how that affected her. She was having a guttural reaction and was trying to fight against it. After a few minutes, she let her hair down and stood up, walking over to grab her purse. It was then that he realized he'd never… "Lydia, I'm sorry."
She turned and looked at him, brows furrowed just slightly, Derek mirroring her look perfectly.
"I never actually… I tried so hard to just give you space… I didn't want to rip open any old wounds… but I never said I was sorry. For controlling you, for forcing my memories on you. It never felt like the right time, and it wasn't like we spent any time alone together… But I'm sorry, for what I did, for what I put you through."
Lydia slowly nodded, surprised at the fact those words just came out of his mouth. It only vaguely made her feel better, those words couldn't erase the scars he left but… hearing them did mean a lot. But she needed to leave, now, before everything boiled over and she lost it. Her skin was crawling and the older memories… "I accept your apology, although I can't say you are fully forgiven yet." Without anything left to say, she let Derek walk her out to her car, thankful for the support.
Peter stood there for awhile after she left, at a loss for words. Had… had they seriously come to some sort of understanding? Could Lydia possibly forgive him sometime in the future? That… that wasn't something he'd ever come to expect, never in a million years. Although he didn't often apologize sincerely either, he hated admitting that he was wrong but he also knew that what he'd done… if anyone deserved his apologies it was Lydia and Derek. It really shouldn't surprise him that the two of them seemed to be a lot closer than anyone realized… they unfortunately had a lot in common. Of course, when Derek came back in, he pretended like none of it happened, immediately jumping back to Liam and how they were going to help him. Really… one of these days he'd make Derek own up to his feelings… but not today, they'd done enough sharing.
*Peter's Apartment, After School*
"I can't believe your mom was okay with you coming over last minute like this," Peter mumbled as he curled around Kira on the couch.
"Well tomorrow is weapons training for sure… I guess that leaves Saturday for training with Malia again? Unless… she wants to go tomorrow alone, which she might do."
"No, I already told her no training tomorrow either…"
Kira looked up at him, "Was today really that taxing?"
Peter rubbed her back, letting out a deep sigh… "I'm sure Lydia is feeling a lot worse right now, at least emotionally… But sharing memories is actually kinda hard. It's a lot easier to see memories, and I ended up over sharing… You'd think Were healing would help with headaches but surprise, it doesn't!"
"Wait, looking for memories is easier, even when you don't know what you're looking for?"
"Depends on how good you are at it I guess. Like when I helped Isaac remember what happened at the bank. It was all fuzzy and Deucalion tried to steal it from him but I still got something. But I know the marks of a tampered memory, I know what they feel like, so it was extremely easy for me to lock onto and… see. Besides that, as long as you have the… recipient focused on the right topic, their mind is doing all the work for you. They might not think they recall anything but the brain is great at capturing stuff, even if we don't realize it."
"Makes sense, so broken memories are easy to latch onto and then as long as everyone is thinking about the right thing, memories in general aren't hard to find. So what's hard about sending the memories, if all you have to do is focus?"
"Oh, see, it's different for the person that is using the technique. So, I want to get a memory from you, say you saw someone get attacked but in the heat of the moment you can't really recall just what kind of creature you saw. I just ask you about the night to keep it fresh in your brain and proceed. Your brain is like an open window I'm looking into. But when I'm still the one using the technique and I'm trying to force my memories into your head, it's a lot harder. This time I wouldn't just be looking in the window, I'm actively sending specific memories into your head while also concentrating on the mental connection."
Kira nodded, "Gotcha, like… yea, that does sound a lot harder. Wow I didn't even think about how memory sharing could be so… consuming. Do you think… my dream manipulation Tail is similar to that? I mean it isn't memories or anything but I'm still kinda entering someone's head right?"
"Actually yea, that's an amazing connection there. I hadn't even thought about it- I remember learning about it of course but I figured you weren't close to that Tail yet so it wasn't even really in the back of my mind. That's actually going to be really helpful when we get to that Tail I think- keep that in mind."
"I'll try… I can be scatterbrained sometimes, if you haven't noticed…"
"No you aren't. Occasionally you get excited about certain topics and just kind of run on and on but that isn't the same as being scatterbrained at all. You've always managed to bring yourself back on topic around me."
"I… okay yea, I guess it isn't the same thing, it's just embarrassing sometimes."
Peter shrugged, "It hasn't been that bad lately, I mean, you have something pretty important to focus on now, your Tails, helping me with Pack stuff, school. It's all settling down and you're focusing just fine."
"Speaking of… Pack stuff… is Lydia going to be okay? Like I know you didn't do anything to hurt her, but you also said that… y'know, it'll be affecting her all the same."
"Lydia will… she's going to pretend she's fine because she doesn't want the Pack to know she talked to me. So maybe you should keep an eye on her, let her know that if need be, she can talk to you about it. She's probably already figured out that I'd tell you since we're Mates. But it will probably make her feel better to know that you're reaching out to her to show support. In the long run, yea, she'll be fine. I mean, she's come a long way from how… damaged she was last year. I… messed her up pretty bad… But I think yelling at me today did help, at least a little bit. She could come over and yell more if she wants I guess, that I can handle just fine. Just no more memory sharing for awhile."
Kira smiled, leaning back against him, "So, anything I can do to help with that headache?"
"That depends," Peter growled out, leaning forward to bite down on her earlobe. "Do you have to go home after dinner or can I keep you?"
Kira sighed softly, tilting her head to the side, "You can keep me forever." Her eyes drifted shut as his hand found its way under her shirt, playing with the hem of her shorts. Coyly she lifted her hips, encouraging his hand to travel downwards.
"I'd love that but you're still undera-"
"No buts! We don't have to think about that right now."
"No butts? Your butt is very nice though." Peter punctuated his point by running a hand up the back of her thing, slowly gripping her ass and massaging the muscle with his hand.
"That's not what I meant and-" her sentence ended in a moan as he rolled her onto her back and shifted over top of her, lifting her shirt.
"That's not the only nice part about you though," he whispered, kissing her bare stomach, working his way higher. Fuck, the things he wanted to do to her, make her feel good. He sucked at the underside of her breasts, slowly, slowly working his way towards her nipples, one at a time. Ever so gently he bit down, judging her reaction, seeing how sensitive she was. And he was rewarded with a low, throaty moan, her back arching.
Kira curled one hand in his hair, guiding his touches with small movements of her hand. Her hips started to buck slightly, wanting to feel something inside her; she whined and chewed on her lip wanting to feel more but also extremely focused on how tender Peter was making her. She did feel a hand undoing her pants and she shifted, making his reach easier. He started off slow though, just lightly adding pressure to her clit with one finger. Kira rotated her hips more, wordlessly asking for more.
Peter thought about making her wait but realized that it would be cruel, and it wasn't like they'd talked about what things she might be into yet. He might be an asshole but he was still considerate to his partners, and Kira was way more than any casual fling. So he gave her what she was asking for, sliding one finger inside her, pushing against her walls as he flexed his finger. As she moaned louder he pulled away from her nipple to kiss her, lick at her bottom lip. He started to growl a bit as she spread her legs wider, rocking her hips against his hand for more friction. As Peter slid a second finger inside her, he flexed them asynchronously, keeping her on edge.
She started to pant and whimper, eyes fluttered as his fingers pushed deeper inside her. How was he doing this with just his fingers? Kira was only vaguely aware of his teeth on her neck, body lit up with excitement. It wasn't until she cried out, feeling the familiar tingle across her skin that she realized, quite literally, how energized she was. There was a loud zap of electricity arcing and then the sound of cracking glass, her eyes flying open.
Peter couldn't help but chuckle as Kira blushed and looked around. "I guess I really shouldn't get you so worked up near any lamps… or I can just invest in a lot of light bulbs."
"Sorry," she muttered, still breathing hard as her body slowly calmed down. It probably didn't help that his fingers were still moving in lazy circles inside her. Not that she wanted him to stop of course.
"Don't worry about it, it's just a lamp. I'm just glad I have an easy way to monitor my work. If you aren't glowing, literally, I'm not trying hard enough."
Kira laughed then, glad that this didn't feel awkward at all. Maybe one day she'd get a little better and reining in her energy, even in the middle of sex. Did it count as sex if it was just his hand? "I don't think you ever really have to doubt if you make me feel good." She smiled and kissed him, wrapping one leg around his hip. Getting to know Peter was the best decision she'd ever made.