On my drive to Kate and Elliot's from the airport, I cannot help but to pray that Christian won't be there. I want to talk to him but not in that setting and only hours after getting off a plane. I want us to be able to do this in private.

I pull up to the house and I couldn't help but to just sit and be in awe of it. It is beautiful! Obviously Elliot and his team built it but you could tell that Kate and he both had their say in what went where. The thing I loved about it most was the wrap around porch and the big bay windows that were on both the first and second floor.

I leave my bags in the car except for my purse as I make my way up the stairs. As soon as I knock on the door it opens and I have to look down to see who answered it.

"Aunty Ana! You're here! Mommy Aunty Ana is here!"

I cannot help but giggle at this mini Kate that is wrapped around my leg. She looks just like my best friend when she was Ava's age.

"Ana! Hey little lady!" Elliot comes outside to wrap me in one of his signature bear hugs.

"Elliot, how are you? It is so good to see you!" I hug him back and he sets me back on my feet. Just as I was opening my mouth to say something I hear Kate calling from inside the house.

"COME INSIDE ANA!"

When I walk in I get ambushed and only see a wisp of long blonde hair as my best friend hugs me with what seems like everything inside of her. "I've missed you Steele!"

"I've missed you too, Kate. How has everything been?" I say to her and her eyes go wide and I know she is about to pop the cap off and tell me about everything that has happened since I have been gone.

Kate and I see each other once a year, but only when she comes out to New York. I use to think that it was really selfish of me not being able to visit her but I understood why she never invited me and always turned down my offers of coming. She knew that ever since Elliot and Christian started their new business venture that they have spent more time together and she didn't want us crossing paths.

Kate only knows some information about my break up with Christian. I don't think I had the heart to tell anyone what really happened between us; I didn't want anyone to think that Christian was a bad person. What happened came at the wrong time and then what followed was the last straw. I just couldn't see myself ruining his life anymore.

Anastasia Steele, the girl everyone was saving. I couldn't live like that anymore.

Kate leads me into the Den and we both sit down on an oversized love seat. Elliot joins us after bringing us drinks.

"Steele, if I would have known that all you needed was a bit of NYC in you to break out of your shell, than we would have gone there Freshman year for Spring Break." Kate points out how much different I look since when I left Seattle. My hair still goes down to the middle of my back, but I have medium length bangs and a few under tones of hazelnut added here and there and I probably dress better.

I laugh at her and we talk for what seems like hours, all three of us sat and exchanged stories about what has gone on. Kate told me about how Ava is doing in school and Elliot explained his new business venture without name dropping Christian. The only thing pulling us out of our bubble is when Ava ran down the stairs to throw open the front door; Elliot jumped up to go see what she what she ran off too.

"Well Ana, this is a surprise you're going to like. We had nothing to do with it! I swear!" Elliot throws up his hands as the last words he says leave his mouth; in walk Grace and Carrick led by a very happy Ava.

I wasn't even mad, because Grace and Carrick are still the wonderful people that they have always been and I couldn't be happier that they arrived. We greeted each other and decided to all sit down for dinner.

"So, Ana, how is work going? Do you like your job?" Grace says, starting off the conversation.

"Yes, I love my job. I have always wanted to be an Editor and New York opened a lot of different possibilities for me. I think I have met more people there than I did in College." I say and give her a warm smile.

"That's great, dear; Carrick and I really appreciate the letters you send up when you go abroad. You have such a way with words." She says with a twinkle in her eye, "Any new guys in your life?"

Whoa! Where did that come from?

"Yeah, Ana; what big hot-shot are you seeing now?" Elliot's comment makes me laugh and blush even more. He only added it because he knows full on that I haven't 'seen' anyone. Dates maybe, but nothing ever serious, no one has ever been able to catch my attention since Christian.

"Nobody as of now, I like being by myself because I get to enjoy the city more, do whatever I want." I said as I shrug my shoulders - like it was no big deal that I was alone. Bold face lie number one.

Don't keep track! My subconscious sneers at me.

"That's wonderful, Ana. You are coming to our celebration Saturday, correct?" Carrick says and I already have a feeling of what's going to follow.

"Yes! I came back for that special get together," I say while eager to change the topic immediately.

The conversation flew around many topics while Carrick and Grace were visiting and I enjoyed every minute of it. I couldn't believe how down to earth they still are about everything. Even though Christian and I still aren't together, they still want to be around me. When they left, Grace gave me a hug and whispered that she hopes I stay long enough to see Christian. That left me speechless and she gave me a knowing smile as they walked back to their car. I didn't even know what to say.

"Ana, let's have some more wine and get down to their girl talk." I followed Kate into the kitchen and we sat at the breakfast bar drinking our deep wine glasses.

"What do you want to talk about Kate?" I already know. Please don't say Christian. Please don't say Christian. Please don't say Chr—

"I want to talk about Christian, Ana." Damn it. "Are you going to be okay to see him in two days? I mean you never even told me why you two really broke up?"

"Kate," I take a deep breath knowing she won't let me go to bed until I tell her something, "I will see him on Saturday. It will happen; I cannot be best friends with you and not see him. You're connected to his family for gosh sakes and for the last time I am fine. Promise."

Kate narrows her eyes at me, "Okay, Steele. If you say so – but I KNOW that there is something else here. You'll tell me when you are ready."

"Kate, I …-"

"Ana honestly it is okay. He misses you though. He may take showers now and takes better care of himself then he did when you left. But I can tell when I look in his eyes, it is like he is itching to ask about you. Sometimes I just want to say 'Ana is safe and okay' just to get him some sort of relief. All he does is work sweetie, and we haven't seen him with anyone else since you. You know, if you wanted to see him I wouldn't give you any crap about it."

I stare at her with probably the blankest expression on my face. She just openly admitted all that information without me having to give her anything. I wouldn't doubt that Christian got a sub a while after the melt down in New York, even though I really hope he didn't. But it isn't like I could blame him for doing anything wrong. Wait… Kate doesn't give crap about it?

"Since when did you start rooting for Team Christian?"

"Ana, I am and will always be on your side. But since you have been gone, Christian and I are have been more than civil towards each other. I just know how much he loved you or still loves you. If I was in his position I think I wouldn't have lasted a month without Elliot."

Wow. An unexpected tear falls down my face and I wipe it away as quickly as it fell. I take a couple more deep breaths to get myself together.

"I haven't talked to him in years, Kate." Should I tell her about the letters?

"Well, tell me the last time you did have words with him?" Kate says.

"We.. Uh.. " Crap, now I am going to have to tell her, "I wrote him a letter about two years ago. He sent me one back and it was only a couple that we wrote back and forth. It isn't like we declared our love for each other again. But we did settle on some neutral ground, I let him know I was safe and happy. He told me the same thing." As I tell her I leave out that I carry around those two letters in my purse where ever I go. The words he wrote always made me want to come back to him. Run right back into his arms, but I just couldn't give up all the work I did.

"Ana, do you want to see him?"

I look at her and I decide right then and there not to lie to my best friend anymore. "Yes," it was just above a whisper but I knew she heard it because she leaned forward and hugged me tight.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I couldn't stand sitting here and watch you lie to yourself anymore. But, this works out because now we can go shopping and make you look extra hot for Saturday. He'll be falling at your feet. Let's head to bed so we can wake up early tomorrow."

All I could do was smile because the first time in a long time I was excited and nervous.

"Good night Kate."

"Goodnight Steele."

"Hey Kate, one more question," even though I already know the answer, "does Christian know I'm back?" She looks at me for a moment, smiles, and without saying a word turns around and heads to her room.

I stand there speechless with a million and one emotions flying through my head.

Thanks for the reviews/favorites/follows! I thought I would throw this chapter out here before going to bed, just to give you guys another look at where I am going with this. You may think you know what is happening but you have NO idea where my head is at with this story.

As always, reviews are mandatory!

xoxo,

Madss