When Alex walks in to the squad room at the beginning of the evening she sees the Detectives all doing paperwork.
She sees the looks on their faces and the shoulders hanging. When she looks at Olivia's desk she sees the desk is empty. Looking around the squad room she still don't see the strong brunette.
What's wrong and where is Liv?" Alex asks.
But before anyone can answer a voice is booming in to the squad room.
" Cabot! My office now!" Cragen orders.
Alex walks to his office and closes the door.
" What's going on with guys and where is Liv? Is she ok? Because she was yelling when I went into the interrogation room this afternoon." Alex asks Cragen.
" Take a seat Counselor you'll need it."
Alex takes a seat with a worried look on her face.
" What's wrong Don?"
" Alex, to answer your questions, we found Jill Foster in a abandoned warehouse. She was dead. "
" I'm sorry Don. I know how hard it is for all of you when you lose one of your own or in this case the daughter of one your own." Alex says sincerely.
"Alex that's not why the guys are sitting devastated at their desk or why Olivia isn't sitting at hers.
After you left Olivia chewed out all of our asses because she was really pissed off. That's why you heard her yelling.
I told her to shut up. But she didn't so I told her she is suspended for insubordination, 2 month starting today. She..."
Alex interrupts Cragen and whispers to herself "Dammit Liv, why did you defended me like this?" then speaks to Cragen.
"So that's why Liv is not sitting at her desk. But why are the guys so devastated. I know it's hard to deal with Jill Fosters dead. And Liv being suspended but that doesn't explain that they are so devastated."
"Alex, there is no easy way to tell this so I say it as it is. Olivia is not suspended, she quit.
She said she had something better for me and the guys.
Olivia said that I didn't have to suspend her, that she quit.
Then she walked out. Nick called after her, but she bit his head off. She picked up her leather jacket and left.
That's why the guys are feeling like crap. They worked 4 days straight in a row. Olivia included. The result in the end is a dead victim and a Detective turning in her badge. The best Detective I have, between you and me.
I let her calm down a bit and then talk with her. Try to change her mind and get her back, but you now how stubborn she can be. I'm sorry Alex."
Alex was stunned. She felt guilty that Olivia had quit because of her.
"I'm so sorry Don. I don't know how to make it up to all of you. And I do know how stubborn Liv can be. I'll talk with her. Try to change her mind. I think it's the best chance to get her change her mind. We are friends so maybe that can help us now."
" I think your right. I know you two are friends. So maybe it is for the best if you talk with her.
I know you probably feel guilty because of this. But it's not your fault. I know it doesn't change your mind either but I don't blame you Alex. You did your job. We all got hot and buttered. If it's anyone fault it's ours. Go and take care of your friend and try to change her mind. And what ever the guys will say to you don't take it personal they are hurt because of Olivia and take it out to you."
"The guys will do that because it is my fault and I have to accept the consequences. I go to Liv now.
I let you now if she changes her mind about leaving the force but I can't promise anything right now. Thank you for telling me this Don. I talk to you later."
Cragen just shook his head. The two women working in or with his squad were both stubborn as hell. And he knows that. He only hoped that Alex will convince Olivia and get her back in to work.
" Take care of yourself Counselor and let me now if something changes. Goodbye."
"Goodbye Don." Alex says and walks out of his office and out of the squad room.
Alex is afraid what she'll find when she is at Olivia's apartment and hopes that the brunette let her in. But she knows there is a chance Olivia won't let her in. When she's in this mood she shuts everyone out. Some times even Alex.
Alex still couldn't explain why Olivia did what she did. She knows Olivia can be very protective, especially around her. Alex thinks at times Olivia doesn't even know she does it. But she always makes sure that when they are outside she walks on the street side. When they enter a bar or restaurant she takes in the whole room first. And when they walk to where ever they will be seated she always places a hand on the small of Alex's back guiding her.
But Olivia never has done something this extreme. Chewing out the asses of all the guys and her Captain was nothing like Olivia. And certainly not turning in her badge. Alex knows she needs to find out why Olivia had done all of this.
She knows it probably gonna be one hell of a fight to get the brunette change her mind.
Alex arrives at Olivia's apartment building, greeted by the doorman.
"Good evening Ms Cabot,how are you? Shall I announce your arrival to Detective Benson?"
"Good evening Luis. I'm fine , thank you. That won't be necessary. I'll just go upstairs."
" Very well, Ms Cabot." Luis answers when he closes the door behind Alex.
"Good evening Ms Cabot, I'll open the elevator for you." The security guard says.
"Good evening Ace. Thank you." Alex answers when she walks to the elevator.
Lost in her own thoughts Olivia startled when there is a knock at her door. Who would come here now?And not announced?
" Who is it?" Olivia yells to the door.
Alex takes a deep breath before she answers back.
" It's me Liv. Please, let me in."
Olivia walks to the door but hesitate for moment. She knows it's Alex on the other side of the door. Is she ready for this? This conversation that is following if she opens her door? She knows Alex deserves the truth and an explanation for what happened today.
"Here goes nothing." Olivia whispers to herself and opens the door.
" Alex, what are you doing here? "
Alex looks at Olivia and is concerned.
Olivia looks like crap and her clothes are drenched with sweat.
" Hi Liv. May I come in, please?"
" Yes of course, I'm sorry. Please, come in." Olivia steps aside and opens the door more to let Alex pass her.
She closes the door behind Alex and turns around and walks into the living room.
Alex hangs her coat on the coat rack and follows Olivia to the living room.
" Can I get you something to drink? Tea, coffee or something else?" Olivia asks.
" A cup of tea would be nice." Alex answers.
"Jasmine?" She asks when she turns around and walks to the kitchen.
" Yes, that is perfect." Alex answers and take a seat and leans back at the couch.
She has spent her a lot of time over the years and Olivia's apartment always gives her the feeling she's at home. She doesn't know why but she feels save here when she is with the brunette.
She looks around and sees the photo on the dresser. It's the first photo that was taken of them. She smiles at the memory of the moment it was taken.
Elliot had asked her to let them buy her a drink to celebrate to the outcome of a major case they've had. She had looked at Olivia before answering. The look in her eyes and the 1000 watt smile she received from Olivia told her everything she needed to accept the invitation.
They were having fun and Olivia was really relaxed, joking around with her. One of the guys said that they need to take a picture because no one else had ever been able to put a smile on Olivia's face like Alex just did. So they stood together arms around each others waist and smiling to each other when the photo was taken.
Alex was pulled out of the memory by Olivia's voice.
" Here is your tea. Lex, if you don't mind I would like to take a quick shower. As you can see I'm drenched in sweat. I worked out on the punching bag. Is that ok with you?"
Alex looked up to Olivia's eyes.
" Sure. That's fine. I'll be here. Go take a shower Liv."
" Ok. I'll be back in 10 minutes."
With that Olivia turned around and headed to her bedroom.
After 10 minutes Olivia returned to the living room.
Alex turned her head and what she sees takes her breath away. Olivia is dressed in formfitting crimson blouse, sleeves up to her elbows and the first 3 buttons open. She is is wearing a white undershirt. She wears black slacks and her favorite Breitling watch to complete the outfit.
Alex quickly takes a sip of her tea to recompose herself.
"Lex, don't get me wrong but why are you here?"
Alex knew what happened but she would like to hear it from Olivia.
She hopes the strong brunette let her inside and tell her what happened and why she did it.
"Liv, I'm her because I'm worried about you and I care about you, a lot.
After I left and walked in to the interrogation room I heard you yelling.
When I came back later, in to the squad room, everybody accept for you were there . What the hell happened after I left Cragen's office?"
Olivia looked at Alex for a moment. Looked in those electric blue eyes before she turned her head away.
"I don't know how to do this Lex. I'm afraid if you know it, I'll lose you. Lose our friendship." Olivia whispers and let her head hung.
Alex is shocked by how defeated Olivia looks. She only saw Olivia so miserable just once, almost broken. That was when she went in WPP.
"Olivia, look at me. Liv, please, look at me." Alex begged. But Olivia doesn't turn her head.
Alex puts her fingers gently under Olivia's chin and pulls her head up.
Looking in to brown eyes and made sure she has her attention Alex starts speaking.
"Olivia, listen to me and listen good.
I meant it when I said that I care about you a lot. I promise you I won't walk away if you tell me what happened. So please, talk to me."
"When the guys and the Captain were all badgering you I couldn't let it happen, I couldn't let it go. I was so angry with them. I could see that they hurt you.
I couldn't let them badgering you, hurting you and do nothing. All they cared about was getting off their frustrations and picked you to take it out on.
Things has changed since the first time you came to the precinct bossing us around and today.
I learned that you don't always agree with the options you have or the orders given to you by your bosses. That you have to do it if you like it or not. Or agree with or not. What ever it is that you need to do you always want justice for the victims. You always have our backs. You always fight for the victims and if you can you always fight for us.
It was wrong what they did. If it was a perp attacking you, I would kick his ass. You know that right?
You know that if anyone ever lays a hand at you I will protect you with everything that is in my power. I won't let anyone hurt you not if I can help it. Do you know that Lex? " Olivia says softly almost whispers it.
Alex knew that Olivia cares for her. She didn't realized that Olivia cared for her so much, not until now. She also realized that Olivia could read her better than she thought she did.
She felt the need to reassure Olivia. Now that she was so open with her. Now that she opened up to her.
"Liv, I know that you care about me. I know that you do everything you can to protect me, even when you don't even realize it yourself that you are doing it. You make me feel safe when I'm with you or when you are around me. No one ever did that for me. No one ever cared enough about me. Cared about me the way you do. I think you will do anything just to keep me safe."
Alex decides to ask Olivia what happened. To see if her friend would tell her.
"So what happened after I left Cragen's office? What did you say or what did you do? Because knowing you I think you defended me after I left. Am I right?"
Olivia blushed and looks away for a moment before she looks in cerulean eyes.
"Yes you are right. Guess you know me better then I thought you did" Olivia grinned.
With a serious look on her face she continues.
"I saw the look in your eyes. I knew they had hurt you. It pissed me off. And I decided to chew out their asses. "
For a moment she thinks and decides to tell Alex exactly what she had said.
"Alex, I told them: Who the hell do you all think you are? None of this is Alex's fold.
She is the best and the only ADA who always does the best she can for the victims and all of us.
Always has our back. And this all she gets from all of you!
Badgering her won't help us. So get your heads out of your asses and back her up for once in your life.
After that the Cap told me to shut up. But I couldn't so I replied.
Then he told me that I was suspended for 2 months.
Nobody had said one word.
They meant what they had said to you. I couldn't accept that and I can't.
When the Captain told me I was suspended, I quit."
Alex was now stunned and shocked. She couldn't believe her own ears. Olivia risked getting suspended
for her. Nobody had ever done for her what Olivia had done today.
"Why did you do that Liv? Why did you quit?" Alex asks almost whispering.