Christian carried me back into the living room and pushed me up against the adjacent wall, our breathing was so hard and I couldn't even tell if we were taking breaks to breathe or not. His hands were every where, and every time I tried to focus on where they were - they were gone, roaming another place on my body. They were in my hair. On my neck. My ass. My legs. My hips where he would grind into me even more.

I dug my nails into his scalp and pulled his hair to bring his face back up towards mine, that made him growl low in his chest.

"Ana, what are you doing to me?" he said, breathless, which made me melt even more into him. He slowly slid me down his body until my feet made contact with the floor. Cupping my face with both his hands, I was definitely swayed with love for him, and even more so when he kissed me again. But it wasn't like before, like he needed to make sure I was here. No, this was a passionate kiss - the kind that made my knees weak.

"I could say the same to you. You're the only person I would ever do this for."

"..and what, pray tell, is that?" He said, "Fly 3000 miles to see me? surprise me in my apartment? Make me fall even more in love with you than I already am? I had such a horrible day at work, everything that could have went wrong - went wrong. All I could think about is when I could see you next. I just couldn't focus."

His words make me melt, "so you decided to come home and have a glass of that amber liquor to calm down a bit, huh?"

"Yes. But I had more than a glass," he says and he quickly hides his face in the crook of my neck.

"Christian," I start to rub his neck over and over, "hey, it's okay. You don't have to hide from me. I understand you had problems with your drinking and you don't want to start that all over again. But can you answer me one thing, baby?"

I barely feel him nod his head against me.

"Did you at least eat something?" As soon as I said the words he pulled me tighter against him, so I knew that was an automatic no. I can't believe he could be so stupid as to not eat, that is his number one rule when drinking. I mean, that's his number one rule for anything. I cannot get mad at him though, I feel like that is what he is expecting.

"Good, because then the food that Gail prepared for us would have went to waste. Come on." I try to push him from me but fail, he is still holding me so tight, "Christian, it's okay. Can we eat, please? I'm starving."

That gets him to let me go, we make our way to the kitchen and I sit him down at the table. When I turn around he catches my wrist, "Where are you going? Aren't you joining me?"

"Yes, silly. I have to get the food, right?" He lets me go again, and I make my way to the oven to pull out the plates of food that were staying warm. As I make my way back to the table I can feel Christians eyes on me, watching me the whole way. Not the food. Just me.

I put the plates down at both of our spots and say in a soft voice, "dinner is served."

I didn't realize how hungry I was until we started eating, quickly realizing that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. Ha! If only Christian knew. That makes me laugh to myself thinking of the irony.

"How did you do this? " Christian says, breaking me out of my day dreaming, "what made you do this?"

I looked at him for a moment before I said, "You really want to know?" and he nodded his head in confirmation.

"Well, I was thinking about you, and about our conversation on the phone earlier." I slowed my pace and breathed a little, he is narrowing his eyes at me like he is waiting for something to happen, "and I just thought about how when I go to London, you won't be able to see me for a while and our scheduled phone conversations would be all messed up. I just wanted to see you right before I go and show you how much I love you. Because I do, I love you Christian, and I would do absolutely anything to show you that. Even fly 3000 miles and surprise you in your apartment."

By the end of my rant I am staring hard at him, waiting for some sort of angry outburst. But it never comes, he just sits there and waits...expecting me to say something else maybe.

When I go to open my mouth for another go at him, he holds his hand up to stop me and closes his eyes.

I wait just a while longer until I say his name, "Christian...?"

He opens his eyes and I see nothing but love in them, "I'm just letting those words sink in, Ana. You don't know how good it feels to hear you say that you'd do anything for me. When I spent my whole life thinking that I wasn't good enough for anyone - for anyone's love. Even an angel like you...and then to sit here and listen to you open your heart to me. Again. After everything we've been through and you still love me? It's like music to my ears, baby. Because I know that I would walk to the ends of the earth for you."

I wipe away my tears and get up to stumble over to him. Falling into his lap I feel his arms go around me tightly, holding me to his chest, "I need you to stop with these tears, baby. "

I start to giggle and sniffle my way back from his body so I can look him in the eye, blue to grey. Perfect match.

"I've missed that sound, baby." He says, while wiping away my tears, he places the softest kiss on my lips, "I hate seeing you cry, but your lips are so soft when your done..."

"Well these are tears of happiness, Christian. You make me feel whole again, like that part of me that's been missing for five years is finally back... I still can't believe we are doing this..."

He cups my face and starts rubbing circles on my back, "What can I do to make this real for you?"

I lean in so our foreheads are touching, "just kiss me you silly man."

"We aim to please, Ms. Steele."

When Christian kisses me a rage full of passion boiled up within me and I couldn't control myself. I latched on to him and wrapped myself around his body until I couldn't get any closer to him. When I nibbled his bottom lip a low growl came from deep inside his chest and he stood up immediately - taking me with him. He walked until I felt him fall back on to the couch; he adjusted my legs so I was straddling him and we continued our lustful embrace.

I could tell that Christian wanted to move to the next base because his fingers kept playing with the bottom of my shirt. He kept tracing the lining of it and then removing his hands from that area - like he was fighting with his emotions. I gave him a little nudge in the direction that I wanted to go in by moving my hands down to his shirt to unbutton his top buttons a little. I moved my fingers through his chest hair and lightly dug nails into his skin. As soon as I did that I knew it was a mistake...

Because when I did that Christian froze and grabbed both of my wrists so I couldn't move.

My eyes shot open and what I saw looking back at me took my back to when I first met Christian Grey.

All I saw was cold and darkness. I felt it radiating from him in waves. I didn't know what to do, he started to shake and his breathing became erratic - like he was trying to catch his breath after almost drowning.

"Christian... Baby,." His hands moved from my wrists and tightened on my shoulders and I knew I only had one chance at bringing him back. I gently cupped his face and moved my body away from his chest so I wasn't touching any of his no go areas. "It's me, Ana."

I could see some of Christian in his eyes still fighting hard to come back to reality but the struggle was too hard, "Christian, It's me, Anastasia... Baby, please...come back to me." At that moment I started to get scared because he wasn't coming back to me. He wasn't seeing that it was really me. All he saw was rage. His grip tightened on my shoulders more and I already knew there would be bruising tomorrow, the pain started being too much to handle.

I cupped his face again and started rubbing circles on his temples with my thumbs, "Christian, it's me. It's Anastasia, I love you, please come back to me. I'm so sorry I did this to you! Please...Christian...I love you...I need you...please" The tears started falling down my face and I couldn't even wipe them away because I didn't want to break contact.

I closed my eyes and kept repeating the words 'I love you' over and over again. Waiting for some recognition from him.

Finally, after what seemed like years, I finally heard a horrid croak from the man I love, "...Ana?"

I opened my eyes to find a frightened boy looking back at me, his fingers loosening around my shoulders and moving to my back.

"Yes, Christian. It's me..." I said, through tears and worry.

"You came back..." and then he pulled me tight against him and started to cry into the crook of my neck.

We sat on the couch for ever. Or what seemed like forever. I didn't move an inch because it might have caused a breakdown again, instead, I waited for Christian to make the first move. He moved us so we were both laying down on the couch, him on his back and me on my side but almost on him. I kept my hands on his neck. Carefully caressing his hair every now and then. Whispering sweet and calm words into his ear. He never responded, but I knew that once he had cried everything out - got rid of the negative again. He would be alright.

We went through this same thing two weeks after we started dating, or whatever we were. That time was definitely worse than this time. The first time I got more than a little bruising on my shoulders...

FLASHBACK - 6 years ago, started "dating"

I couldn't be more excited to see Christian, even though I just saw him last night. I'm starting to get this way every time I get ready to see him. Those butterflies in my stomach won't calm down and Christian will notice my nerves right off the bat.

As soon as the elevator doors open I take a deep breath, calm down Ana, I start walking toward to Living Room with confidence. That quickly dissipated when I saw a sculpted back and the but of my favorite pair of jeans hanging off his hips. Christian was staring out the big windows that traced the skyline of Seattle. I waited a while to clear my throat because I wanted to take in the sight of this beautiful man in front of me.

Instead, like he sensed my presence, Christian whipped around to face me and tried to fight back a smile, "Anastasia...You look beautiful." He held out his hand for me, "come here."

I dropped my bag and walked over to him, careful not to trip over my own feet, he wrapped his hand around mine and twirled me around so his arms were around me. My back to his front.

"I missed you," he said while digging his nose into my hair.

"I missed you, too..." I said, leaning back into him, feeling his strong muscles around my small frame.

"You missed me what?" He said. Uh oh.

I gulped and took a deep breath, "I missed you too, Sir."

"Good girl, remember your place when you come into my home."

I cast my eyes down to the floor, remembering my place, as he said.

"Yes, Mr. Grey."

Okay, I know. I deserve to be punished for not giving you guys a chapter in what...two weeks? And for that I am so sorry. I had a bunch of family in and out of my house over the last few weeks and it got crazy for a while there. I couldn't just whip out my laptop and start writing erotica in front of my in laws, right?

Anyways, the moral is that I am sorry. So here is a good chapter for you! Now, I guess I got some peoples feathers in a bunch when I said that Christian won't be cheating yet but you guys need to calm down. This is a fanfic story and I don't know where I am going with it yet. When I first started I did have a plan in mind but since you guys are so VOCAL (and I love it) about your love for this story - it took me in a different direction. Now, for the future...I don't have any thing in mind about either of the two love birds dying or losing their memories.

Not yet guys, but one day - I wish I could tell you what this meant...

but that would ruin the story...

xoxo,

Madss