(AN) AUTHOR'S NOTES: Apologizes for the cut off in part one in chapter but as explain at in my AN from the top and I believe bottom of the pages, this chapter as a WHOLE is 400 words long. It's been split by half the math isn't hard so I am sure all of you awesome ^.^ TBWC fans are aware of what that leaves for part two.
Thankies to all whom the reviewed part one, reason why part two is posted so soon this time is because my good editor dragonwriter24cmf thinks I should have uploaded both parts when they were done but I wanted to see how many of you wanted to responded and commented to part one. I'm sure a lot of you were wanting to throw virtual veggies and fruits at me for leaving it off where it was so I'm doing this at dragonwriter24cmfrequest until chapter 11 ins completed. So rejoice a weekly update as long promised has come lets hope this can happen more often in the near future with the remaining 30 chapters to go.
Now onward with part two ^.^
DISCLAIMER:All rights to Trinity Blood was created and © by the late Yoshida Sunao, the anime directed by Tomohiro Hirata and produced by the studio GONZO, as well as a manga drawn by Yoshida Sunao's friend Kiyo Kyoujou. All © rights revered by their respective owners. I own nothing except © to this story, it's plot and it's OC's that will eventually show within later chapters.
Special thanks to one of my editors and co-partners in helping finally get this story off the ground and back burner dragonwriter24cmf check her own TB stories on which are awesome. Currently right now dragonwriter24cmf is helping with the current chapters and drafts for the stories plot and outline.
Warning:This fan fiction is rated (M) AKA Lemon. This story is ABSOULTLY NOT suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 [So if you're under the age limit turn back now, come back when you old enough to read this. I'd rather not get flamed nor sued by parents whom are just looking for trouble in places their underage children should not be looking nor reading for that matter. This story contains strong explicit adult themes and sexual ones such slight foreplay - as in hand sex, one-sided yuri, bisexuality, Attempted Rape, Explicit Sex or anything else mild to hard core kinky for that matter!, references to violence, and strong coarse language. If this disturbs you, do not read any further.
Notice:Trinity Blood War Continuum takes place one month after the events from the anime's finale episode 24 along with some elements, characters and things that will be used and taken from both manga's Rage Against the Moons (RAM), Reborn on the Mars (ROM). In addition to some spoilers from stories untold notes left by Yoshida Sunao which he intended to finish off the manga series supposedly. Basically 50/50 will be used on both the anime and manga to those whom are more familiar with manga then others will see this implants as the story develops. Trinity Blood is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the Roman Catholic Church/the Vatican is portrayed as a military and spiritual power. The series also strongly implies major and controversial changes in the Church of present reality, such as women being bishops, cardinals as well as romantic relationships and marriages between members of the clergy. If this disturbs you of form or shape of or on imagination then do not read this story.
Trinity Blood: War Continuum - Chapter Ten - Part 02: Celebrations and Confessions
The dancing had settled down a bit. Esther gazed out over the floor from her seat, sipping on her wine. The tune was one of the slow, stately ones. She watched Caterina and the Professor dancing together, their casual stances those of old friends. Her eyes flitted over the crowd. She couldn't see Astha or Leon, but in a crowd of this size she wasn't surprised. Over on the far side, she spotted someone she thought looked like Virgil, dancing with someone else. She smiled, glad to see her advisor relaxing. She knew he was likely keeping an eye on her as well, but it was good for him to have time to unwind and socialize with the rest of the nobles.
Esther shifted a little in her seat. She'd just about recovered from her last turn around the floor. She'd been asked to dance several times by various men. She'd danced with the Professor for two or three dances, and Leon for one. She'd also let Virgil take her out onto the floor once or twice.
She could have danced every dance if she wanted. There was no shortage of men willing to be her partner. But…Esther sighed. She had so little experience. Virgil and the others had been quite good about teaching her, and the dances she hadn't known, there had been someone nearby to coach her. When Leon had asked her to join a reel, she'd been hesitant, until Caterina showed her the steps. And she had no doubt that any partner she accepted would be more than willing to assist her as well. But still…she wasn't used to this. The crowds, the noise, the dancing…she didn't feel comfortable with dancing with a stranger, outside of a group dance. She enjoyed the dancing, but the thought of trying to work through the steps with a stranger made her uncomfortable. So she settled for dancing with her old friends and the men she knew, and watching the rest of the time.
Esther took another sip of wine. She had to admit, it was nice to sit out. She was fairly active, but the whirl of activity on a dance floor could take your breath away. She was content to be able to sit and relax between dances, regaining her energy. In fact, as she thought about it, there was really only one thing truly making her unhappy.
She flicked her gaze up to the large clock on the wall. It was about nine. The masquerade had been going for almost two hours, and still, there were two figures she'd yet to see any sign of. She hadn't seen any child-like woman with black hair, nor any tall men with silver.
Esther sighed. She knew it was too much to hope that Abel would come, but she thought Seth would at least be here. While it was always possible that the youthful Empress was simply staying in the background, she would have liked to be able to speak with her. Seth had a humorous way of looking at things. And, more than likely, the other woman could have told her where Abel was, since he wasn't here.
"Esther?" Esther blinked, startled out of her thoughts. Ion was standing in front of her.
She recovered quickly and smiled at him. "Lord Ion."
"Is everything all right?" He tilted his head, and the bright eyes behind the mask were concerned. "You seemed…a little unhappy."
Esther flushed. "No, no…not at all. I was just thinking and watching the dancers, I suppose. There's no need to be concerned." She smiled. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I am. We have Court balls at home, but it's not quite like this." The Earl of Memphis smiled. "But actually…I was wondering if you'd care to dance the next dance with me." He held out his hand and bowed slightly.
"I'd like that." Esther smiled and set her glass on a small tray to the side, then stood. As they moved down the dais steps to the floor, she pulled her blue satin mask back over her face.
The two of them moved to a clear spot on the floor, just as the first notes of the song began. It was an Imperial song, not one Esther knew, but Ion smiled. "Don't worry, it's a very simple song. Just follow my lead." He stepped slowly back and sideways, and Esther followed him, letting him lead as they stepped out a very simple pattern, similar to the waltz step and only a little more complicated.
The rhythm was easy, the song slow. Esther found herself relaxing, and the song didn't make her at all out of breath. She smiled. "You're a very good dancer, Excellency." The she blushed. "I'm sorry, it's a habit."
"It's quite all right." Ions voice was soft, almost laughing. "You can call me whatever you like." He paused, then spoke in a softer, more serious tone. "But you know, you're really a good dancer too. And you look very beautiful."
Esther flushed again, this time out of pleasure. "Well, I'm not so sure about that. I mean, I don't know much about dancing, and…"
"You're very graceful. You move well." Ion's voice cut through her denial. "I mean that." He smiled. "And that outfit…I…you look stunning. Beautiful. You remind me of the sky around the Dome on a clear day, glimmering and radiant. Enough to take my breath away."
Esther wondered if her ears could possibly get any redder. "Thank you." She looked at the slender figure in black and flame costume. "You look very handsome as well." Her eyes drifted over the costume, the embroidered flames. "It suits you."
"Grandmother picked out my outfit." Ion was blushing slightly. "I wasn't sure…I mean, this isn't the sort of thing…"
Esther smiled. "It really does suit you. You have a very warm personality, and the flames bring out your eyes and hair. It's quite handsome."
"Thank you, Esther. I'm glad you like it." He was smiling now too. The rest of the dance was spent simply concentrating on the steps. But Ion was a very good partner, and he held her like she was porcelain. Esther enjoyed it, and she was almost sorry when the song ended.
As the last notes died away, Ion released her shoulder, though not her hand, and bowed. "Thank you." He straightened. "Will you dance the next one?"
"I'm not sure…" She wasn't out of breath, but they hadn't announced the next song yet. Besides, she was feeling a little dry-mouthed, and warm. She looked at Ion, standing and waiting patiently. She considered going back to her seat, but…she was enjoying his company. "Actually, I think I'd like that."
Ion smiled. He opened his mouth, but just then, there was a noise from the doorway. In fact there was a rather large commotion from the entry to the ball room. Esther and Ion exchanged a look, and then both of them moved toward the Dais. Neither of them were tall enough to see past the crowd, and Esther really didn't feel like fighting her way through the dancers, most of whom were also trying to see what was causing the fuss. They reached the steps and went half-way up, then stopped and turned. Esther felt her breath catch in her throat.
Near the door, making their way towards the floor with graceful steps, were two figures. Esther stared at them in wonder. As a child, she'd heard fairy tales, stories of magical beings, of special people. Even in a church, one heard fairy tales as bedtime stories every now and then. She heard stories of the powerful Lord of the Fey, and his Lady, but she'd never thought to witness anything to match the glittering pictures in her daydreams. But watching the two moving towards the center of the floor, it was the only thing she could think of. The dark-garbed Lord of magic, and his glittering Lady by his side.
The shorter of the two dancers wore an emerald green costume, sparkling with golden and silver threads, a pair of small fairy wings attached to the back of the dress. The dress itself was mid-length, but hung in graceful flowing folds, the random sparkles on it catching the light like flickers of magic. Delicate green slippers covered her feet. The upper portion of the dress was form fitting, not tight but accenting her spare frame. The sleeves also fit closely, until about mid-elbow, where they flared out in a delicate sweep that seemed to mirror the wings upon her back. Silver and gold, and what looked like slender ribbons, threaded the sleeves and the bodice and made delicate patterns. The collar was a square, modest, with a silver vine curling around it. Above that, her half-mask was also emerald green, with silver vines curling away from the eye holes, tied with a slender silver cord that ran through the tousled black hair, creating an image of carefully tamed wildness.
Beside her, Ion blinked. "Her Majesty?"
Esther's heart jumped. Now that Ion had spoken, she recognized the black hair, and slight figure. But then…the one who's with her must be…. Her eyes turned to Seth's companion.
He was at least a foot taller than she was, and his costume was every bit as impressive and fantastic. Dark grey pants and well polished calf-length boots. Silver touched the seams of the pants above the boot tops, highlighting the man's narrow hips. He wasn't wearing a belt. Instead a slender silver sash bound his waist, tied in some fashion she couldn't see because there were no visible ends. Above that, the man wore a blue shirt. It was a few shades lighter than cobalt, something like a sea blue, but deep and rich, and the material shone under the light like satin. It was high-collared, tied at the throat with a matching ruffled cravat. The cuffs of the shirt were gathered into ruffled pleats about his wrists, before vanishing into the sleeve of the jacket he wore. The jacket was black, but sewn with metallic threads so that it glittered subtly, gold and silver and metallic blue, with hints of green. It was open in front, fitted close to show broad shoulders and a trim frame. The collar swept up and back, a dark wing that framed the curve of the narrow jaw, and drew attention to the black mask with it's silver and blue embroidery. The rest of the face was framed in a waterfall of silver hair. It fell down his back, away from his face. As the man turned, Esther saw the dark band tied just below his shoulders, allowing the shining silver strands to flow loosely, without getting in his face. She stared at the man as he moved with a sort of careless grace to the center of the floor. Is that…Father Nightroad
Both dancers moved arrived at the center of the floor, just as the musicians began the first notes of the next song. The man, Esther was sure it was Abel, bowed with a courtier's grace, then swept his partner into the steps. Other dancers, too startled by their sudden appearance to heed the music, moved out of the way. The dance was a moderate waltz, not too fast. To Esther's surprise, Abel seemed to know every step quite as well as any noble there. Even she could tell he was leading, as was proper, and there was no hesitation in his steps as he and Seth glided across the clear section of floor. He spun her around, graceful and elegant. Esther watched, her heart pounding as her eyes followed the silver-haired dancer across the floor.
Abruptly, she realized Ion was still beside her. She flushed. "I beg your pardon. You asked me to dance this with you, but..."
"It's all right." Ion smiled. "We can dance the next one, right?" His head turned slightly, back to watch the dancers. "That man…is that Father Nightroad?"
"I think so." Esther hoped he couldn't hear the thumping of her heart. "I can't think of anyone else she might be dancing with, or who has hair that color."
"You're right. It's strange though." Ion's voice held a thoughtful quality. "I've seen him in all sorts of conditions, and I know he's only clumsy sometimes but…I didn't know he could move like that. He's very graceful, very dignified."
"Yes. He is." Esther watched as Abel spun Seth under his arm, before sweeping her back into his grip. She knew exactly what Ion meant. She'd seen Abel in a number of situations, and had wondered if that stumbling, absent-minded pose was really just a mask. Seeing him on the floor, dancing with his sister to a song she hadn't even been aware he'd known, reminded her of how little she actually knew about him. It also reminded her of her earlier thoughts concerning him. She clenched one hand, suddenly aware of her conflicting emotions.
Together she and Ion watched as Abel and Seth danced together. Finally, the song came to an end. Abel and Seth stopped right on the last note. The silver-haired dancer held his partner for a moment as the last note died away, then bowed over her hand, not in the normal manner of a gentleman, but in an antique gesture that Esther only recognized because Virgil sometimes used it as well.
The crowd burst into applause, and Esther was only too willing to add her clapping to theirs. Beside her, Ion was also clapping his hands together, and from off to the left, she heard a wolf whistle of appreciation. She grinned, recognizing Leon's tone and wondering if he had also recognized the silver-haired dancer.
Finally, the applause died down, and the musicians announced the next song. The rest of the dancers, now recovered from their shock, took their places on the floor. Ion smiled and held out a hand. "Shall we dance?"
"Of course." Esther smiled and stepped onto the floor with him. The first notes sounded, a moderately paced reel. The dancers sorted into groups and began the steps, keeping time within the circle of their partners.
Esther felt herself relax again. She knew the reel well enough, and Ion was a courteous partner. He handed her off to another gentleman she didn't recognize, equally courteous. The second dancer wasn't quite as skilled as Ion was, but Esther didn't mind. A flash of silver and gold caught her eye. She turned her head slightly, and felt her eyes widen.
In a nearby circle, Abel was dancing alongside a gold and scarlet form Esther recognized as Lady Caterina's. They moved together in perfect time. As the two figures turned in the steps of the reel, she caught sight of the expressions underneath the masks. Caterina looked amused, and her partner's mouth was turned upward in a sheepish grin that Esther knew only too well. Father…
She forced her mind back to the dance steps again as they came around the turn to hand off to a new partner. Her current partner bowed, to be replaced by a golden figure she knew well, who tipped up his mask deliberately to show the pale eyes. "Lord Walsh."
"My lady." He bowed courteously as they began the steps. "You appeared distracted. Are you all right?"
"Oh." Esther blushed. "I'm sorry. I was just a little surprised. I mean…those two…"
"It was a rather dramatic entrance for such an unassuming man. However, I have to say, his costume suits him." Virgil's voice was mostly expressionless, but Esther thought it held a faint note of approval.
"Then…you think it's Father Nightroad as well?" Esther blushed. "I…I wasn't sure…It looked like him, but I don't know all the nobles that well yet."
"I think it highly likely." Virgil smiled. "I was informed an hour ago that neither Abel Nightroad nor Lady Seth had put in an appearance. Somehow, she does strike me as the type to have arranged this sort of thing." He bowed his head slightly. "Shall I inform them that you wish to speak with them?"
"No. It won't be necessary." Esther shook her head and lowered her eyes. "I'm just glad they came."
He bowed his head again. "As you wish." Then it was time to change partners again.
They went through three more circles before Ion finally claimed her again. By then, the reel had gotten much livelier. Esther was forced to focus on the steps as she and Ion whirled through the finally set of circles and came to a halt.
Ion was laughing, but even he had a slight sheen of perspiration on his brow. However, he took no notice of it, he simply bowed to her. "Esther, did you enjoy it?"
"Yes!" She smiled at him, trying to control her breathing.
Ion looked at her. "Are you all right? You look a little flushed."
She smiled and shook her head. "I'm just a little winded."
"Well then, how about I take you back to your seat, and I can get you something to drink?" He extended his hand politely.
"Thank you. I'd appreciate that." Esther placed her hand in his, relaxing as he lead her to the dais. Once at her chair, she settled down and gratefully removed her mask from her face, allowing cooler air to wash over it. Ion strode back down the stairs, but Esther didn't watch him. Instead, she found her eyes being drawn to the dance floor, looking for one man in particular.
She spotted Abel near the right side of the hall, still on the dance floor. This time his partner was a woman in a familiar black and red costume. Esther watched them, struck again by the court grace of his movements.
Father…you…you fit so well. I wonder where he learned to dance like that? Her eyes followed his movements. I don't know. Who taught him how to dance, or how he learned court protocol. Was it Lady Caterina, or the Professor, in those ten years before I joined? Why is it that he knows his way around the Underground, even the places Virgil can't go? Why does he speak the language here, just the way they do, and yet he also speaks the Imperial tongue just as fluently? There's so much I don't know about him. And yet…and yet…watching him makes my heart beat just a little faster. Being near him makes me feel warm, safe. Losing him, having him leave, it makes me feel cold inside. But why…how can I feel this way about him?
"Esther?" Ion's voice broke into her thoughts. "Is everything all right?"
"Of course. I was just thinking. It's all right." Esther offered him a smile and took the cup from his hands. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Ion grinned and raised his own glass.
The next hour or so passed in a blur for Esther. Ion was called away to dance with Mirka. Esther shared another dance with the Professor, then decided to walk over to the buffet tables for a snack. She hadn't eaten much throughout the evening, and the exercise was making her hungry.
"So, Esther, are you having a good time?" A familiar, youthful voice sounded at her elbow, and she turned to come face to face with a young woman in a glittering green fairy costume.
"Oh. Seth." She smiled. "Yes. I'm having a very good time. But I was afraid for a while that you'd decided not to attend." She turned back to the floor. "I see you got Father Nightroad to come as well."
"Well, I certainly didn't plan on missing a party like this one." Seth grinned underneath her mask. "And as for Abel…well I guess you could say I bullied him a little. But I think it was a good thing. He was very stiff when we got here, but he seems to be relaxing and enjoying himself now." She gestured to a glittering black figure on the floor. "And it's good to see he hasn't forgotten much."
"I was wondering…would you by chance happen to know where he learned to dance?"
"Abel?" Seth smiled. "He sort of…taught himself, a very long time ago. But as to how and who and why…well that's something you'll have to get him to tell you himself. He'd only be upset if I told you that sort of thing." She tapped a finger to her lips. "You should dance with him Esther, and ask him yourself."
Esther flushed and looked down at the empty plate she held. "Well, I'm not that good a dancer yet, and…"
"It's not like Abel will be upset if you do." Seth grinned. "Abel's a really good dancer, but he almost never asks someone to dance with him. He's too shy."
Just then, the song came to an end. When the next song was announced, Seth straightened. "Say, Esther, this one involves groups of six." She stretched slightly. "Looks like Abel has Astharoshe, but her escort is there too, so I guess Abel will have to be a gentleman. But hey, there's the Earl of Memphis." She turned and grinned. "What do you say? We'll grab my brother and the Count and make a proper group of it."
"I…well…" Esther tried to think up a good protest, but Seth pulled her forward. Halfway across the floor, she caught the slight figure in the black and flame colored outfit. Ion made a startled noise, but no protest. They arrived at next to Abel just as the sets were being formed.
Too startled to protest, Esther found herself swept up in the music by Ion. It wasn't a song she knew, and she concentrated on watching Seth and Astha as they took the turns. Ion helped, whispering soft instructions where no one else could hear. The music changed tempo, and with it, the partners changed as well.
Ester found herself paired with a dark haired matador. Leon gave her a roguish grin. "Well, senorita? Are you having fun?"
"I…yes, I am." Esther returned the smile, feeling herself relax. The second set was easier, now that she knew the steps, and Leon was a graceful partner for all their difference in size. She heard the tempo change but somehow, she was so caught in the rhythm that she didn't quite realize what it meant. Then Leon bowed over her hand, and spun her…right into the grip of a silver-haired man in a black and silver mask, who caught her gently as the third set began.
Esther stiffened, her heart suddenly pounding. Fortunately, she knew the steps, more or less, and the rhythm was still singing in her blood. She let the music carry her along, still surprised by the fact that she was dancing with Abel.
Blue eyes, met hers from behind the black and silver mask, gentle and kind in an expression she knew well. His grip was careful, but firm, and even through the gloves he wore, his hands were startlingly warm. He led her through the turns of the music his steps light and graceful. And he matched her pace well. Esther could feel her jaw threatening to drop. This close, the costume looked even more stunning on him. And though she'd been watching him off and on throughout the evening, it hadn't occurred to her that he really was an excellent dancer. But the skill he showed leading her was on par with Ion's at the very least. Esther stared at him, watching as the light caught in unbound silver hair, and glittered subtly off the jacket he wore. She only came to herself when she nearly stepped on his toes. Then she flushed, and forced herself to concentrate on the proper steps.
Finally, the song wound down. Abel took her through one last step and turn, then slowed and stopped. He stood a moment, then released his grip and took one hand, bowing his head over it. "Thank you, my lady."
Esther flushed. "Oh, it was…thank you, Father."
Abel chuckled. "You found me out already?" He straightened, took a step closer, and she could see mischief in his eyes. "Are you doing well, Miss Esther?"
"I…yes. It's been a lovely evening." Her surprise was beginning to fade, listening to his voice. His tone was warm and friendly, with just a hint of laughter to it. That was the voice she remembered. She heard the musicians announce the next song, but really couldn't hear what they said. She looked up at Abel. "Father…would you dance with me again?"
Esther felt her ears turn scarlet. That wasn't what she'd meant to say…but she did want to dance with him again. She almost hoped he would make an excuse not to, but he only smiled and held out his hand, bowing again. "If you wish, my lady." His eyes met hers. "I'm afraid I didn't quite catch the next song though, so we may have to improvise."
"It's all right." She set her hand in his. A part of her was shocked, too startled to believe that she'd asked him, but the warmth that flowed through her as he took her hand and pulled her into his arms erased her fears. She smiled up at him, her heart pounding, but happy.
The first strains of the song began, with a soft bell-like sound. Esther blinked as Abel made a soft sound. "I'm sorry, I don't think I know this one."
"Ah. It's all right." Abel stepped carefully back. "It's not a song that really has any set dance routine." He drew her into something almost like a waltz, matching the tempo of the music.
"Father? You know this song?" Esther blinked up at him.
A rueful grin touched his face, but his eyes were far away. "It's one of Seth's favorites." His voice was soft. "I really don't know why she'd want it played here, but…she used to love this song."
She was surprised by the faraway, nostalgic look in his eyes. A gentle look of love, with a hint of sorrow. "Did you like it as well?"
"Eh?" His eyes came back to her, and she saw his ears turn pink. "I…well, honestly, I'm not sure. I just used to sing it for her, part of it anyway. It was…" his eyes went far away again, and his voice was softer when he spoke. "It was a lullaby of sorts, for when she was sad."
"Oh." Esther looked up into his face. "Would you…" She felt herself blushing, but she still felt like asking. "Would you sing it for me, Father?"
"Eh?" This time his eyes were startled, and she saw the tips of his ears go from pink to crimson. He even stumbled a little. "Well…you know…I'm not sure I remember the words, and my voice isn't that good anymore. It's been years…"
"It's all right." Esther smiled into his face, reassured by his presence. "You don't have to if you don't want to Father." She looked down. "I was just curious. I've never heard it before. But if you feel uncomfortable, it's not necessary."
"Ah…" Abel seemed like he was going to say something, but firm tenor voice from the music stage interrupted.
There's such a sad love, deep in your eyes
A kind of pale jewel, opened and closed within your eyes
The voice was smooth, and filled the hall, and the words were beautiful. But as the singer voiced the next line, Esther's ears caught a different sound. A second voice, so soft it was barely audible, joined the first.
I'll place the sky within your eyes
She looked up. Abel wasn't quite looking at her anymore and his face, what she could see of it, was red. But as the second verse started, she saw his lips move. And a second tenor, quiet but beautiful even at that volume, joined the first.
There's such a fooled heart, beating so fast
In search of new dreams, a love that will last
Within your heart
I'll place the moon within your heart
Abel's dance steps didn't falter any. If she hadn't been standing with him, within the circle of his arms, she would never have heard him, he was so soft.
As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone, wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you
As the world falls down.
Esther felt her heart start pounding. She knew it was simply the lyrics of the song, but the words evoked a tide of memories. Memories of loving kindness, of the man who had pledged to stand beside her. She could remember the feelings those words invoked. She stared up into his averted face, feeling her heart beating incredibly fast.
I'll paint you mornings of gold,
I'll spin you Valentine evenings
Though we're strangers till now,
We're choosing the pathway to the stars
I'll leave my love, between the stars
Esther flushed. That last verse…it wasn't the same. She looked back into Abel's face, wondering if he felt the music affecting him the way she did. She couldn't see it in his expression, but there was a sort of live-wire energy that seemed to be racing between them. His hands were still gentle, but if anything, they'd gotten warmer. Though perhaps that was only the heat of his embarrassment.
As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone, wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you
As the world falls down
The song continued, but Abel stopped. He swallowed once. "Ah…I don't remember the rest of it." His voice was only slightly louder than it had been when he'd been singing, almost as if he were talking to himself. Esther doubted he'd really forgotten it but then, that he'd even gone this far was more than she'd expected. She smiled. "Thank you, Father."
The song wound down about a minute later. Abel followed the beat, and stopped, then gently removed his hand from her waist. "Miss Esther?"
"I think I'd like to return to my seat now, if you don't mind. I'm a little winded."
"All right." He took her arm, courteous as a gentleman, and carefully, led her through the crowd back to the dais. "May I get you anything?" He smiled at her. "I'm rather thirsty myself."
"It's all right. I'm fine." Esther smiled at him. "Besides, you should probably go find your sister and see how she's doing. You are her escort after all."
"That is true." He bowed over her hand. "Very well, Miss Esther. I will speak with you later." He turned, and made his way across the floor, heading for the tables. Esther watched him go, her mind whirling. She was so pre-occupied, she didn't notice anything else until a hand touched her shoulder. "My Lady?"
She looked up, startled, into Virgil's concerned gaze. "Lord Walsh." She realized she was still wearing her mask, and reached up to remove it. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about something."
"I noticed. Are you well?"
"Yes, of course. I'm sorry if I concerned you, but I really am fine." She smiled and looked back over the crowded hall. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I am." There was a definite sense of contentment in Virgil's tone. "And you, Lady?"
"Oh. Yes." Esther looked down. "I was just thinking…how nice it all is, and how supportive everyone's been for me." She looked back into his eyes. "That's all. There's really nothing to be concerned over."
"As you wish." Virgil bowed to her, and backed away. Esther looked back over the dance floor, her thoughts still spinning.
Almost automatically, her eyes searched for a familiar form. His form. Finally, she spotted Abel, standing by one of the tables. He was turned away from her. Though it was a little difficult to see, because of the crowd, she thought she spotted a flash of green and gold next to him. She smiled. He was probably talking to his sister after all.
Esther continued to stare at the black and silver form. It startled her, how content it made her just to watch him, to see him standing there in the midst of the crowd. Equally startling was the way her heart was pounding, just looking at him. The memory of that soft voice, singing those words, made her heart beat faster. Almost unconsciously, she clenched her hands together, remembering his warm, gentle grip.
Father… Esther watched him as he moved back onto the floor, with Seth recognizable now at his elbow. I've always cared for him. Ever since that day at Saint Matthias church. And I…I know those feelings have gotten stronger in the time I've known him. I don't want him to leave me. I…when he died, I couldn't stand it. And all that time he was missing, it felt like…it felt like there was a piece of my heart missing too. But still…it can't be…I can't be…I thought it was just because he was my partner, my friend and guardian, but…I…. She watched him dance, and the words, almost unbidden, drifted through her mind. I love you. Father. I really…love you.
Esther blushed, realizing what she was thinking. Abel was…far older than she was. She knew that. He'd seen things she'd never imagined, knew more than she'd learn in two lifetimes. She already knew he was close to Caterina and to Lady Astha. And yet, as much as she wanted to deny the words, they felt right for her. Somewhere along the way, during their time together, her feelings had gone far beyond affection for a partner, or fondness for a mentor. She wondered when it had happened. On the voyage from Istvan? Or during their time in Carthage, when she had been willing to go through fire and hell, just because he was there? Or in the Empire, when he'd been their rock of strength, guarding them all with his life? Had she known it when she knelt by his coffin, or when he rose again, filling her with mingled joy and concern for him? She didn't know. Now that she was thinking of it, she couldn't tell.
It didn't matter. However it had happened…it didn't matter. She looked back at the glittering figure in the floor, currently taking his sister through a fast-paced couples dance. Should I tell him? She wasn't sure how he'd take the news. The last person to confess feelings for him had been Sister Noelle, after all, and he had taken her death terribly hard. And yet…now that she knew, now that she thought she did love him…she wanted to tell him. She wanted to know what he'd say. Besides….
Abel might leave. If word came of the Contra Mundi, he'd return to his terrible, solitary battle. If duty called, he'd walk into the night alone, to protect them. And she suddenly found she couldn't bear the thought of watching him walk away without at least giving him that. She bowed her head.
The clock chimed. Esther looked up, startled from her thoughts. It was already eleven o clock. In one hour, the unmasking would be held. She ran her hands over her mask. Of course, everyone already knew who she was, and she knew who her friends were. But still, the thought gave her a thrill of anticipation. Even though she knew who Abel was, she wanted to see his face. His expression….
"Well, you look like you have a lot on your mind." Esther blinked. Professor Wordsworth was standing on the steps in front of her, a smile on his face. As she looked up, he held out a hand. "Will you join me for a dance? It's a slow one, and it might help soothe your thoughts."
"I…yes." Esther fit her mask back on, and took his hand. He led her down to the floor, and into the quiet slow dance that was playing.
They settled into the steps, and Esther let her mind drift with the music. She was starting to relax when the Professor interrupted her. "That's better. Now then, care to tell me what's on your mind?"
She looked up at him, startled. "Professor?"
He chuckled. "It's fairly obvious you were thinking about something very important up there. I thought it might help if you had someone to discuss it with, but if you don't want to, that's fine."
"No…it's not that I don't want to discuss it, it's just…" Esther bit her lip. "I just realized…there's something I wanted to tell Father Nightroad, but I don't know how to say it. And I…I want very much to see his face at the end of the masquerade…to see him smile, without the mask on."
"I see. Something important you wanted to say to Abel, something precious that you don't want to let any barriers between you?" The Professor's voice was soft, thoughtful. "Well, it's no wonder you were thinking so hard about it. However, I think I have an idea to help you with that."
"Professor?" She looked up, truly surprised.
He chuckled again. "It's easier to keep track of Abel down here on the floor, at least for me. How about this? I'll be your escort for the rest of the hour, and then, I'll make sure you get to Abel."
"Oh…thank you, that's very kind but…what about Lady Caterina?"
"Lady Caterina is quite capable of handling herself in this arena, you know." He smiled. "Trust me, I'm sure she'll understand. Actually, it's a good opportunity for her to make new contacts, so it's better if I'm not always at her side."
"I see. Well, thank you." She blushed, then looked down. "But I still…what I want to tell Father Nightroad…I'm not sure how to say it."
"With Abel? It's probably best to simply say it bluntly." Esther blinked at him, met his amused eyes. "Come now, you've seen that for yourself. Abel simply doesn't understand subtle. Or rather, he tries not to. So, if you'd like my advice, Lady Esther, simply say what you need to say to him."
"You're right." Esther felt her shoulders relax. "I'll do that, Professor. Thank you."
"There's no need to thank me." The song was winding down. "Now then, since we've settled that, may I get you a drink?"
The rest of the hour seemed to pass in a daze for Esther. She drank the glass of juice that the Professor gave her. He asked her to dance twice more, and once, she partnered Ion again, but she wasn't truly aware of it. She kept thinking about Abel.
Finally, the last dance before the unmasking arrived. Esther was leaning against the wall, when voice spoke from beside her. "My Lady? Will you dance with me?"
She turned. Abel was beside her, holding out his hand. She blushed. "Of course." She laid a hand in his. "How did you…?"
There was a soft laugh from the man beside her. "Well, traditionally, one dances the last dance of the evening with someone who is not their escort, so they can unmask a stranger. But besides that, the Professor suggested I take you." He took her hand. "Shall we?"
The dance was a moderately paced one. Normally, Esther would have been concentrating on the steps, but it all felt so surreal. She was content to let Abel guide her along the floor, while she watched him, her heart pounding. The dance slowed, came to a stop…and as the last notes died away, the clock began too chime. Midnight. Her partner smiled, warm and inviting. "Well, would my lady care to guess, or shall I simply remove the mask?"
"Father…Nightroad." Esther returned that smile, and reached up to carefully remove the black and silver traced mask.
"Lady Esther." Abel's laughing smile broke across his face, smoothing away the lines she was so used to seeing, lines of care and sorrow. His hands reached up, and gently, very gently, loosened the cord that held her mask in place. Warm fingers brushed her jaw as he lowered the mask to hang around her neck. Then his smile widened, rueful and amused, and he bowed over her hand. "Well, Miss Esther, it seems you guessed correctly."
"Father." She felt amusement relax her shoulders.
"Hmm…" He reached up, and brushed a stray tendril of hair out of his eyes. Beyond him, the musicians were getting ready to start another round of dancing. Around them, people were laughing, their masks discarded and hanging from their shoulders, or draped over lamps and tables and chairs. Abel eyed the throng. "Well, since you guessed my identity, I believe you're entitled to another dance, Miss Esther."
"I see. Actually…" Esther looked to her left. As with most ballrooms, this one had large windows, opening to the garden. She looked back at the man beside her. "Actually, Father, it's rather warm in here. I think I'd like to go out to the gardens for a bit, to cool off. And I was wondering, if you'd be willing to escort me."
"Hmm…It is rather stuffy in here, isn't it?" He smiled and held out his arm. "If that's what you'd like, Miss Esther, it would be my honor."
"Thank you, Father."
Quietly, the two of them moved towards the large windows, then to the glass doors. Esther gave a sigh of relief as Abel carefully, gently escorted her through the doors into the cool night air, swinging the glass almost shut behind them. "That's better."
It was, too. She hadn't realized, until she left it, that the lights and the noise had been giving her something of a headache. And it was much cooler. Esther stood for a moment, enjoying the gentle breeze and letting her body relax. She turned, to find Abel beside her, also enjoying the air, and fanning himself lightly with his mask. Out away from the harsh lights, she could see the fine sheen of perspiration on his brow. "It's a lovely night out."
"Yes it is." Abel smiled ruefully again. "I'm not really all that fond of crowds. I promised Seth I'd take her, but really…I'm afraid balls aren't my strong point."
"In that case, why don't we stay out here for a while?" Esther looked over the garden. "That's right Father…you like gardens, don't you? And you've never really seen the ones here at the Palace, right? Why don't I show you around?"
"Well, that's very kind of you, but…we shouldn't go too far." Abel sounded slightly hesitant.
"It's all right, Father. After all, you're with me. And I'm sure there are guards somewhere around here." She took his arm, and began to lead him forward.
"Well, if you're really sure…" Abel let her lead him off the steps and down into the delicate sculptured shrubs. "I suppose it won't hurt, just for a while." He took two smooth strides, caught up with her, and looped his arm gently through hers.
They wandered the garden in companionable silence, looking at the plants. Finally, they wound up in the rose garden, with Esther pointing out her favorite blooms to him. Abel smiled, expressing his agreement, or commenting on other roses he was fond of, but as they neared the far end, he stopped and turned back. "Miss Esther…it truly is lovely, but we should probably be getting back now."
Esther stopped, her heart pounding. She turned and looked at the tall, slender form outlined in the light of the double moons. She bit her lip. She was almost afraid to shatter the gentle mood between them, but…she was a queen, and he was in the service of the Vatican. He'd said himself that he would leave, if they had word of Rosencreutz. This was the best opportunity she had.
"Miss Esther?" Abel's gentle voice, full of concern for her, broke her out of her thoughts.
"It's all right Father." She forced a smile to the surface for him. "You're probably right. We should be heading back soon but…before we go…Father, the truth is, there's something I wanted to say to you."
"Miss Esther?" He moved forward, laid gentle hands on her shoulders. He started to speak again, but she put a hand on his lips, stilling his words.
"Please, Father Nightroad, please, just listen for a minute, okay?" He nodded, and suddenly, she was too nervous to continue looking into those gentle blue eyes. She turned away, hiding her face from him.
"The truth is, Father…there's something I wanted to tell you. I didn't realize it until recently but…you're very important to me. When I thought you were angry with me…I felt so lost. And when you're not by my side…I feel like something's missing. I don't know why, but…I just…"
"Miss Esther?" Abel's voice sounded faintly alarmed. "Are you…?"
"I…Father…I think…you're someone very special to me, Father. And I…I don't want you to leave. I want…you promised you were on my side, and that means…so much to me." She finally turned, to look into his eyes. "I want you to stay with me." She couldn't stop the words now, felt herself blushing and looked away again. "I…Father, I love you."
Silence fell between them, a silence so deep that even the soft wind in the rose bushes seemed far too loud. Esther could feel the tension in the air. She was about to say something, anything to break that unbearable silence, when Abel's voice came from the darkness beside her. "I'm sorry."
"Father?" She turned, to find him looking away from her, his head bowed. Even in just the moonlight, she could see the sudden pain in his stance, and his voice was the one he'd used months ago, when they'd spoken on the road to the Vatican. She took a step forward, and laid a hand on his arm. "Father, what…?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Esther." He took her hand gently, and drew it away from his arm, putting distance between them. His eyes came back to meet hers, and the sadness in them nearly took her breath away. "I'm truly sorry. I…I'm honored…that you would say this to me…that you care so much, however…" He looked away. "I'm afraid I can't return your sentiments."
His words hit like ice water, turning her numb. "Father…"
"Esther, please…" He looked at her hand in his, then laid his other hand gently on her shoulder. "I will always consider you a very special friend. And I will always care for you, very much, as your friend. But…I…what you ask of me, it just isn't possible."
The cold spread, chilling her heart, and forming ice cubes in her stomach. "Why? Why do you say that?" She took a step back. "Is it because you…don't really feel that way?" She bit her lip, embarrassment and hurt rushing to the surface.
"Esther, please…you know it can't work. I…" Abel's voice roughened. "I am…I am a…"
"You're not a monster!" Her gaze snapped back up to his. "I've already told you, I'm not afraid of you. I know…" She bit her lip again. "I know…that you have Crusnik. And that you're not yourself when you change sometimes, but that…that doesn't mean you're a monster."
"It isn't that simple." Abel's voice was ragged, but surprisingly calm next to hers. "Esther…it isn't just the Crusnik. I…my past…Esther, I truly am a monster. I've done things…terrible things. And I…I can't wash that away." His eyes met hers for a single moment, and she caught a glimpse of a terrible labyrinth of pain and memory in his eyes. "I've never told you…you have no idea what I'm capable of, what sins I've committed. The Crusnik, is only a part of that. And if you knew the whole truth…I…" His head bowed. "I can't…I don't want you to ever see that part of me. That disgusting darkness inside my soul."
"I don't care about that, Father." She moved forward, caught his sleeve. "I…if that's what's making you afraid to be near someone, then tell me. You can tell me. I don't…I don't care what you've done in your past. I will forgive you, and I will never see you as a monster. You shouldn't say things like that."
"But it's the truth." He took her hand, drew it from his arm once again. "Esther…I…can't take that risk."
She felt his rejection, and all at once, anger moved through her, a sort of burning rage that was still numbing in it's way, but far more violent. She jerked her hand from his. "How can you say things like that?" Her hands clenched into fists. "I…you keep saying I can't care for you, that you don't have feelings because you're a monster, but you won't tell me why. You…you say you're on my side, that we're partners, and yet…you won't tell me anything. Why? Do you still…do you still not trust me?"
"It's not that." Abel's head was bowed, but he raised it to meet her eyes. "I…Esther…I can't forgive myself…not for my sins." He withdrew one hand, looked at the back of it. "You asked me once, what those marks on my hands were. The truth is…the truth is, they are the symbol of my greatest shame." He looked away. "I…if I were to tell you…if I tell you this…I once betrayed my greatest love, because of this. And I…because of my sins, Lilith died. And I…I must bear that forever. I will…forever mourn what I let happen to her. I can't…I can't pretend that isn't true."
"That's not…" Esther felt that harsh, anguished rage rise through her. She struggled to control it, but the hurt of his rejection was just too much. "That's not fair, Father. To say you can't care for someone for something like that…why do you have to be like that? Why are you…always pushing me away, because of the past, and never letting me make my own decisions? Even when you died…." She clenched her jaw, seeing her words bite into him. "Why? I know you cared for her, and Noelle too, but…that's not fair, Father."
"I'm sorry, Esther. But that…that is the truth. I…I know it isn't what you want and I'm sorry, but…"
Her hand snapped out, almost of it's own accord, and the loud crack of it's connection with his jaw shattered the night air. Abel actually staggered a little, his head jerking to the left and backward as her slap connected. "Esther…"
"Stop apologizing." She stood in front of him, her whole body rigid in hurt anger. "You always say you're sorry, that you're my friend, that you're on my side, but at the same time, you always hide things. You won't even tell me things. I had to find out about the Crusnik by nearly getting killed. And I had to find out you were really alive by nearly having your brother kill me. I was…I was almost raped because I was trying to find you, because you wouldn't even let lady Caterina and your own sister tell me how to talk to you. And then… if you're going to be like this…if all you can say is 'I'm sorry' and lame excuses, even after all that…" She saw him wince as her words struck him, and angrily jerked her face away from him. "I wish…if it's going to be like this, then I wish I'd never met you, Father Nightroad!"
She felt hot tears in her eyes, hurt and rage swirling through her. She clenched her fists and her jaw, trying to still the emotions that raged in her heart. She wanted Abel to protest, to say something, anything. She looked up to see pain in his eyes, but when he finally spoke, his voice was still calm. "I see." He smiled sadly. "I…well, I can't really say I blame you for feeling that way. And I suppose, it'd probably be best if you didn't know me. I…" He looked away. "Please, Esther…I…I want to be your friend. I…I wish I could tell you more but…it's too dangerous. And…I know you don't want to hear this but…I can't…I don't want you to see the darkness. Please, I know you're angry with me, but…this is truly for the best. It's better…it's better if you don't try to care for a monster like me."
Hurt filled her eyes with tears. "Damn it, Father…" She bit her lip, but the words locked in her throat suddenly refused to be held back. "I…I hate this. Father…I…if you have to be like this…if you think this is okay…I…I hate you."
She saw him wince again, and open his mouth, but suddenly, it was too much. She turned from him and ran, blindly out of the garden. She felt her mask drop from her hand, but she didn't care. She just wanted to leave him behind, to go somewhere where he wouldn't follow her. She heard him call her name, but she simply kept going. Hot tears blurred her vision, but she didn't care. She just kept running, running away from him.
Abruptly, something dark loomed in her path. There was no time to stop, she crashed into a short, slender figure with a cry. She would have fallen, but gentle hands caught her. "Esther?"
Esther stopped. She knew that voice. She dashed the tears from her face, and looked up into Ion's eyes. "Ion…"
"Esther, what's wrong?" Ion's hands tightened gently on her arms. "We realized you weren't in the ballroom and the Count of Manchester asked me to come look for you…" His eyes took in her tear-stained face. "Esther, did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I thought Father Nightroad was with you…"
At the mention of Abel's name, Esther bit her lip, and a fresh wave of tears threatened her. Ion's eyes widened. "Esther? What did I say? What happened?"
She clutched his shirt, barely aware of what she was doing. "I…Father Nightroad and I…we had a disagreement." Which was an understatement. "I…" Sobs choked her, and she held onto Ion more tightly. "I…"
"It's all right. You don't have to tell me." Ion's warm arms wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest to comfort her. "It's all right. If you need to cry, it's fine. I won't ask you any more."
"Thank you." Esther relaxed in his embrace.
"It's all right. I'm on your side, after all. You once said that to me, remember?"
He was trying to cheer her up, but the words made her stiffen. "Don't." She felt his freeze, shocked by her tone, and tried to soften the blow. "I'm sorry. I just…Father Nightroad used to say that. But now…I…"
She didn't mean to tell him about their quarrel, but it spilled out of her. "I…I care about him, but he never tells me anything. He won't let me get close to him. He won't even tell me why. I…I hate this."
"Esther…" Ions voice sounded confused, even pained. Then he stopped. "I understand. I won't ask anything more of you."
They stood for a while, Esther leaning against his warm strength. Finally her tears began to dry. There was still a lump in her throat, and her chest was aching, but she felt calmer. The anger was subsiding into numbness again. She wiped away the tears, and looked up to meet Ion's concerned gaze. "Thank you, Excellency."
"You're welcome." He touched her face, and offered her a handkerchief. "I…I'm always willing to help you. You're very important to me, Esther, and I don't like to see you in pain."
"I…" The words caught Esther totally by surprise. "Excellency…" She flushed.
She'd said those words to Abel. And he'd been unable to respond, which was why she'd gotten angry. Now…Ion was saying those words to her. And she already knew that she couldn't ever see him as more than a close friend. She looked into his eyes, saw the gentle warmth and love there. She remembered all the times he'd spoken to her, in the Empire and on the journey to the Vatican, and felt a sick feeling wash through her.
Ion cared for her. Though he hadn't spoken as rashly as she'd done with Abel, she could see the emotions in his eyes. And she…she couldn't return it. Anguish washed through her, with a sick sense of betrayal, though whether she felt she betrayed Ion or Abel, she wasn't sure. With a cry, she broke away from Ion. She didn't even give him a chance to say anything…simply bolted into the darkness away from him. A renewed torrent of regret and anguish flooded through her, renewing the tears in her eyes.
She wasn't paying attention to where she was going, she simply fled, traveling down the garden paths. A part of her knew she should just return to the masquerade, but she couldn't bear to. She didn't want to face all those people like this. So she kept running.
Walls loomed up in front of her, and she stopped short, out of breath with her eyes stinging. She looked up. In front of her was a small enclosure. After a moment, she recognized it. At the end of the Royal wing was a small, almost disconnected building, known as the Queens Retreat. It was a place for female rulers or consorts to go when they needed privacy beyond what the Royal wing offered.
Esther rubbed her eyes, then fumbled at her belt for her key ring, the one she kept at all times. Right now, she needed that privacy. It was the work of the moment, and then she was inside. She turned, slipped the lock back into place, then staggered forward in the dimness until her legs impacted a soft seat. She felt her way to the chair, then collapsed into it, her mind overflowing with grief and pain.
She loved Abel, but despite everything, he still didn't trust her with his past, or with his heart. A lump lodged in her throat as she remembered striking him, the red welt on his jaw, and how he'd stood there and take it from her. The lump tightened, forcing fresh tears to her eyes, as she recalled his words. As she recalled his gentleness, even in the face of her rage. And she'd said she hated him, then gone running to Ion, hurting both of them. With a low sob, Esther hunched forward, weeping as her heart broke again. She buried her face in her arms, trying to shut out the world. Your Excellency…Father….
(AN) smcandy: The song used in this of part two 'As the World Falls Down' © of David Bowie and Labyrinth Movie.