A/N I hope I haven't let you wait for to long. I know left you with an other cliff hanger. Since nobody killed me for that I was able to write a new chapter. Thank you all for that.
Please r+r. Your reviews are really appreciated and make me as happy as kid in the candy store.
Chapter 15
Alex blinks with her eyes and her eyebrows raising up almost into her hairline. She is shocked by Olivia's question. She has a feeling that there is something wrong with Olivia's memory and that is it more then the brunette let her know. Suddenly she is very worried about the Detective.
"Liv, honey, why do you ask these questions?"
"Because Casey knows where you live, apparently. Which I didn't know. She brought you clothes and other stuff. And I don't know any woman with the name Amanda. So I want to know since when Casey and you are knowing each other so well that she knows where you live. And how this Amanda is related to you. I'm not accusing you of cheating or something like that. I know you would never do that to me. I just want to know this."
"You're right I would never do that to you." Alex says.
She takes a deep breath before she asks Olivia the next question.
"Are you sure you don't know Amanda?"
"Of course I'm sure! I wouldn't ask who she is if I knew her would I? Lex, are you trying to tell me that should know who Amanda is?" Olivia asks whispering the last question.
"Yes, Liv. You should know her. I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to tell me the truth. What year is it, Liv?" Alex asks her softly, her worries about Olivia clearly in her eyes.
"I...I don't know. Oh God, I don't know what year it should be now." Olivia sobs.
"It's ok sweety. I'm not mad. What is the last thing you can remember?" Alex asks taking Olivia's hand in her own and squeezes it gently.
"You and a blonde woman pushing on my gunshot wounds. Munch standing in the door opening. I remember telling you that I love you. And you saying you love me. After that it is blanc."
"That's because you passed out after that. Do you know who that blonde woman is?"
"She looked familiar but I can't remember her name. I don't know why she was there or who she is."
"What do you remember before that? It doesn't matter what it is. Just what do you remember?"
"I can't remember why I was in that room where I was shot or who shot me. I can't remember when we got together. I'm so sorry. I even don't know how long we are together. I just know that we are. Wait a second. Alex, the first case we had after you came back from the Congo didn't we got a new female detective?"
"She was new to me. So probably she was was new. Why do you remember something?" Ales asks with hope in her voice.
"That case is the last thing I remember. I mean I don't remember the outcome but I do remember that you asked me if I thought that victim was telling the truth about the rape. I remember we had a new blonde detective named Rollins. That blonde woman with you looked like her. But what was her first name? Wait. Is her first name Amanda?"
"Yes, Liv. Yes. That's Amanda. Now do you know what year that was the case I mean?" Alex asks with relieve and happiness in her voice.
"Let me think... Oh yes. It was the end of June 2011. Right?" Olivia asks.
"Yes that right. You're doing good Liv. I'm proud of you." Alex answers.
"Thanks. Alex, it's 2011. This year I mean. If Amanda would work here for a long time I would remember her more clearly. It's now 2 November judging by that calendar over there." Olivia points at the wall across her bed.
"I was shot a week a go you said to me earlier. That means it was the end of October. So I'm missing what 3 months?" Olivia asks.
Even though Olivia is right and she is missing 3 months Alex couldn't help it but be a little happy right now. Olivia figured it out all by herself.
"Yes that's right. There is nothing else you remember since that day I asked you about that victim and what you remembered of the day of your shooting? Not that it isn't great what you remember now. Just trying to help you. I am so happy right now with what you do remember. I was so scared when you asked me who Amanda was." Alex says.
" I can't remember when Casey came back. She said she was back. And I'm thrilled about that. But I have to admit that I keep thinking about you two. Since when is she back? You two seem to know each other better then I thought you would." Olivia asks.
"Liv, You didn't missed anything about Casey coming back. She is assigned to SVU in my absence. I've been here with you from the moment you went to the hospital and was brought to this room. Amanda told me that she was assigned to SVU this morning. Because the guys got a case Casey came to visit you this afternoon. Liz told her there are enough cases for the both of us. Casey and I talked this afternoon. She came in when I was talking to you. I didn't here her knocking on the door or opening the door. She answered the question I was asking you. I asked you why you risked your own life and she said to me "to safe yours like she always will do.". We talked about how she knows you will always do that. How you two met for the first time and that you bit her head of, Detective Badass. Anyway at the and of our conversation she said that if she could do something for me I just need to let her know. So I asked her if she would go to my apartment to get me some fresh clothes, my mp4 player and a few books. I gave her my address and my keys. That's how she knows where I live. You have nothing to worry about. You Olivia Benson are the one and only woman in my life. The only one I love." Alex explains.
"As are you, Alexandra Cabot. The only one in my life and I love you too. I just was confused. And worried because I couldn't remember how long Casey was back. Not that I'm not glad that you two get along, I am. After I bit her head off like you said, we became friends slowly. She just made a big mistake by saying that she was your replacement. Nobody can replace you, Alex. Even now that Casey has proven she is a really good ADA, there is nobody like you. She said the wrong words at the wrong time. It was our first case after you left for Witsec. I felt like I lost you two times in less then a week time. We made it up with each other. And like I said we became friends. Lex, don't be mad or very disappointed and I am really sorry for not remembering how long we are together. Can you please tell me how long?" Olivia asks.
"Oh honey, I'm not mad or disappointed. We got together the night you were shot. And since you don't remember that, YET, you can't remember we got together that night. Don't worry about it. We talked about our feelings for each other and decided that we would go slow. Do it right. You asked me if I would be your girlfriend and that you would like to take me out on a date. We kissed. That's all that happened. Well and that and I said yes. Yes to be your girlfriend and to go on a date." Alex answers.
"We got together that same night. Wow. For the record. When I get out of here I still want to take out on that date, Counselor. Do you have a toothbrush here? I would like to kiss you, but I have a awful breath right now."
"Just for the record. I can't wait for you to get out of here and go on that date with you. As for that kiss, I have a toothbrush here. You may use it. But I really want to get Doctor Brown in here first. I like to ask her some questions about your memory loss. After she is gone I will really like that kiss. But I don't want to get interrupted when we kiss, Detective."
"You've got yourself a deal, Counselor. I don't want to get interrupted either when I kiss you. Since I can't remember kissing you, it will be my first kiss with you. And I most certainly will not be interrupted then."
"You are a romantic charmer, Olivia Benson. Now I go get my toothbrush and a glass of water for you. You can brush your teeth while I go get Doctor Brown."
"I'm hopelessly romantic and you love it, Alex Cabot. Now go get me that toothbrush. The sooner that Doctor is gone the sooner I can kiss you."
"That I do. Loving that you are hopelessly romantic." Alex replied.
Alex took her toothbrush and toothpaste out of the bag Casey brought for here took a glass and filled it wit water in the bathroom. She walked over to Olivia and handed her the toothbrush and toothpaste. She puts the glass with water on the night stand next to Olivia's bed. Alex gives Olivia a kiss on her for head and walks out the room to find Doctor Brown. In the mean Olivia brushes her teeth. Glad to get the taste of a death bird out of her mouth. Alex comes back with Doctor Brown a few minutes later.
"Now why did you want Ms. Novak and myself out of the room, Ms. Benson?" Doctor Brown asks.
"Please call me Olivia. If you don't want that, call me Detective. To answer you question I panicked. But Alex and I talked about it and I'm much better now." Olivia answers.
"Ok. What made you panic in the first place? I know you avoided my question about how long you work with the SVU. I know you let Ms. Novak enter because you would avoid answering questions." Doctor Brown says.
"Yes I did. Can't fool you can I Doctor?" Olivia answers.
"No. Not about these issues. Now answer the question, Detective."
"I panicked because of what Casey said about Amanda and going to Alex's apartment. I didn't know who Amanda was. And I thought Alex and Casey were closer then I thought they would be. I know you indirectly asked me what year it was and I didn't know that either. All together it was to much for me to handle at the time."
"That's understandable. You've had a serious head injury and you've been in a coma for nearly a week. Like I said it is normal for people with your kind of injuries to don't remember things. Like what happened the day you got shot in your case. Now you said you didn't know, does that mean you do know it know?"
Olivia looks at Alex before she answers the question. Alex nods at Olivia to encourage her.
"I know now who Amanda is. I also know why Casey was at Alex apartment and why I couldn't remember, or better didn't know that they know each other better now. I do now what year it is. I have some memory loss though. I can't remember anything for about 3 months. From the end of June until after I was shot. I remember I spoke with Alex just before I passed out. And I remember Alex and Amanda pushing on my gunshot wounds trying to stop the bleeding. And Munch, standing in the door opening."
"Well it's ok you don't remember the day when you got shot. Normally that will come to you. How ever because of your memory loss over 3 months, I will make a scan of your brains. To see if there is no damage. Just to make sure we don't miss anything. Depending on the results of the scan I will decide what treatment you need. Beside the therapy you need for recovering from your gunshot wounds." Doctor Brown explains.
Olivia looks at Alex, the fear clearly in her eyes. Alex knows by the look Olivia gives her that the Detective is afraid of the outcome of the scan and how this will effect her work as a Detective. She takes a seat in the chair next to Olivia's bed again. Alex takes Olivia's hand with her own.
"I know you are scared, Liv. You worry how this will effect your job, don't you?"
"Yes, I do. What if I can't do my job anymore? I don't know what to do then. It's my life."
"I know sweetheart, I know. But just let us take it one step at the time ok?"
"Ok. Thank you for understanding it, Lex."
"Of course I do. Now let me take care of you, please?" Alex asks.
"Ok. I trust you, Alex. Do what you think is the best." Olivia answers.
"Thank you, Liv. I means a lot to me." Alex says.
Alex turns to Doctor Brown to speak to the Doctor.
"Doctor Brown, I don't want to offend you, but I want someone else to take this over from you. I want the best damn specialists there are. Not of this hospital but of this country. If there is a specialist better in an other country I want them. I only want the best for Liv. I hope you can understand this. You still can be her Doctor if necessary. Again, I don't want to offend you. I simple want the best and whats the best for Liv." Alex says.
"Of course. You don't offend me Ms. Cabot. I understand it. Do you want me to search for the best specialists or do you want to do that yourself?" Doctor Brown asks.
"How much I want to do that myself, I think you are more then qualified to do that. So if you want to do that it's fine by me. How ever you make sure you only accept the best. Money is no problem. And I don't care what it cost. As long as Liv will get the best specialists and treatment available it's alright." Alex answers.
"Then I will search for the specialists needed, now. I suggest we wait with the scan until they are here. Every specialist will have their own test and scans and I think it's better to them all together then. It's more efficient."
"I'm in this room too guys. I'm not dumb or stupid!" Olivia snaps.
"I know you are still here. And I don't think you are dumb or stupid. I think you are very intelligent actually and very smart too. I'm not trying to keep you out of this, Liv." Alex answers.
"How about what I want? It's my head you know. My brains. And my damn loss of memory." Olivia asks irritated.
"What do you want, Olivia? Accept for leaving this hospital right now. Because that's not gonna happen, Detective." Alex says.
"Obviously, not today. But..." Olivia starts only to get interrupted by Alex.
"Or tomorrow! You will stay here as long as the Doctors will say you need to stay. Do I make myself clear, Olivia Benson?" Alex asks.
"Crystal, Counselor. That doesn't mean I have to agree with it, or do it, Alexandra Cabot." Olivia replies.
"Liv, do you want to get better and be back at work as soon as possible? If there is nothing to prevent that, that is." Alex asks.
"Of course I want that. And you know it, Alex." Olivia answers.
"Then stop being such an jerk and make it more difficult for yourself then you need to. I know you don't like it. I know you want to leave this hospital yesterday. But that's not possible. You need to let them do their job. The sooner you can get out here. I won't leave you here alone. We are in this together, Liv. We will fight this together. You don't have to do it all by yourself. Not anymore. You have me now." Alex answers.
"You are right, as usual. I'm sorry, Lex. I hate hospitals. I'm cranky and frustrated and I take it out on you. I shouldn't have done that. I used to be alone, do everything on my own. You need to have patient to let me get used to the fact that for the first time in my life I don't have to do it alone anymore. That I have you to lean on."
"I know that, Liv. And you get all the time you need for that. Now do you mind if we stop talking about this now? Doctor Brown has more to do then listen to our conversation."
"You call this a conversation?" Doctor Brown asks frowning her eyebrow.
"Yes." Alex and Olivia answers at the same time.
"What do think this was?" Olivia asks Doctor Brown.
" A discussion at least. A fight or an argument is more how it sounds to me." Doctor Brown answers.
Alex and Olivia look at each other and burst out in laughing. Olivia stops laughing almost right away and grasp her stomach.
"Don't make laugh Doctor, that kinda hurts right now." Olivia says.
Doctor Brown stares at Alex and Olivia like they have grown a second head. The three of them didn't noticed that Casey had entered the room again. She forgot her own keys in Alex's bag.
"Obviously you haven't heard or see their legendary fights, Doctor. They are right this was just conversation for their standards. Don't worry I only heard the last part. From the point Alex told Olivia she couldn't leave the hospital and asked her what she wants." Casey answers with a shit eating grin on her face.
"Missed me already, Counselor?" Olivia teases.
"Yes I did, but that's not why I'm back. Sorry Detective, I'm only back so soon because I forgot the keys to my office. I left them in the bag I brought here for your gal." Casey teases back.
"Is there anything you need to tell me, Counselor?" Olivia asks Alex raising her eyebrow.
"Well Casey and I have talked this afternoon. She told me that a lot of your conversations ended to be about me. She told me what she saw when I came back for the Connors trial. How hard it was for you when I needed to go in WPP. She was the one who said that I needed to have faith in you, that you would come back to me. I didn't say specifically that I'm yours. She just knew it." Alex answers.
Alex and Casey both see the pain in Olivia's eyes after Alex mentioned the Connors trial and going into WPP.
"It wasn't your fold, Liv. You saved my life. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be alive." Alex says softly.
"The hell it was. I failed you. I didn't do my damn job. I lost you there on that pavement, because of that. If I did my damn job you didn't need to go into WPP. I didn't protect you and I couldn't stop the bleeding. So don't say it wasn't my fold." Olivia answers.
"If I had listened to you, none of this would have happened. I should have back out when you asked me. But there is nothing we can do to change that. So stop blaming yourself. You saved my life twice now." Alex replies.
"I'm sorry to interrupt this conversation. I can see how important it is but I need to go. I have to make some phone calls and find the best specialists as soon as possible. So if you will excuse me, I will be back when I have found them." Doctor Brown says.
"Yes, of course Doctor. No need to excuse yourself." Alex answers.
"Thank you Ms. Cabot. See the both of you later. Detective." Doctor Brown says.
"Doctor." Olivia says.
With a nod to them all, Doctor Brown leaves Olivia's room and closes the door behind her. Casey looks at Olivia then at Alex and then back to Olivia.
"What specialists? What is she talking about?" Casey asks Olivia.
Olivia and Alex look at each other.
"Lex, will you say it please?" Olivia asks her softly.
Alex nods and gives Olivia a kiss on her for head. She then turns around and looks at Casey.
"Casey, there is something you need to know."
A/N 2 Ok. Ok. I get it. You guys and gals are really gonna hate me know. I'm sorry for leaving you in the dark again. I know how frustrating it is when you are on the reading side of a story.