Chapter Seven – Maturity
Title: Through the Window Came the Wind
Author : lifelesslyndsey
Disclaimer: It might not mah sandbox, but I'm building castles. But I'm not profiting from them.
Pairing: SamxBella
Rating: NC-17
Warning: language, and adult concepts in probably graphic citrusy detail.
Summary: He fought to do what was expected of him and she did the opposite. If love was less about finding that perfect someone, and more about finding that someone who makes you perfect, you never know who you might find. Love might bring out the best in us, but first, it brings out the worst.
A/N Spanked this one out myself so all mistakes are mine.
A/N Remember that this is only like two days into the story. Some people forget to follow the time line and expect faster results. This will be a slower paced story, for the first half, but should pick up once Bella reaches her point of...epiphany.
"Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up."
-Tom Stoppard
An hour later I found myself half dressed, wet and staring at Paul's face. "Dude," he said, sticking his head in my bathroom. "Did you know Bella Swan is sleeping on your couch?"
"No I didn't," I replied, kicking him in the shin. Was the invasion of my mind not enough of a breech of privacy? A man couldn't even take a shit around here with every one knowing."Get the fuck out and let me get dressed, you dick."
"Dude. Swan is on your couch!"
"Well I knew that. I just didn't know she was sleeping," I replied as Jareds voice cut in from down the hall. Where one went, the other always fucking followed. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
"God Paul, are you a fucking idiot?" He hissed, pulling Paul into the kitchen by his forearm. Jared was the only one in the pack who could get away with that shit when it came to Paul. "He practically fucking spelled it out for us. Christ. Just shut up and get use to seeing her around."
"But why?" Paul was whining, as I made it to the kitchen, buttoning up my shorts. "No one even likes her, except for Jake."
"You really are that stupid," Jared replied in wonder, shaking his head. "Can I tell him? Cause this is just ridiculous. We all know; it's not like we could discuss it if we wanted, but dude we don't want to. Your love life is your own damn business."
"You're sleeping with the leech lover?"
To Paul's luck, Jared smacked him before I could. I took a moment to wonder why leech lover didn't register as a derogatory term, but set it aside. "No I am not sleeping with my imprint." Yet. Not that I hadn't thought of it. There was definitely a mating imperative to imprinting because while I liked sex, there use to be a whole lot more going in my mind. It was something to think about, at any rate.
"Holy shit, you imprinted on Swan?" Paul said, to loudly for my liking. I peeked around the corner to find Red still fast asleep. "Jake is going to be so-"
"Jake already knows," I cut in quietly, tossing them both a beer from the fridge. If it were any one outside the pack, I'd have something to say about underage drinking, but as I figured they were old enough to protect, they could have beer, on occasion. One beer wasn't going to get them drunk anyway. "Ask your questions," I sighed, as there curious expressions morphed to outright demanding.
"When the hell did this happen?" Jared asked, blunt as ever. "I mean when did you even see Swan to imprint?"
"Picked her up drunk on the side of the road two days ago. She was coming to see Jacob. Told her everything...well. Mostly. She doesn't know about the imprinting, but she knows what we are. It wasn't so far a stretch in her realm of reality, I suppose. She did scream though," I added, with a tiny bit of pleasure. I'd have been worried if she hadn't.
Paul snarled, lips curling in disgust. "And how does she feel about her precious vampires now?"
I gave him a cold look. "All things considered, I'd say she hates them. Whatever issue you have with her, Paul, you need to get over now because she's going to be spending a lot more time here. She won't be able to help it; she'll be drawn to La Push. I want all of the pack to extend the same courtesy you would to me. You make sure she feels fucking welcome or I will shove my foot so far up your ass you choke on my shoe laces."
"Damn Paul, did you hear that?" Jared said with a grin. "I think I just heard Sam's balls drop."
~000~
Red slept like the dead.
None of the pack were particularly quiet, and though we lingered in the kitchen I wouldn't expect any one to sleep though the racket of the pack eating. Embry had found his way over to the cabin, bearing the gift of food via my mother who never failed to feed the boys if she saw them.
All talk of my imprinting desisted after the brief questioning, turning to idle chat over beer and food. I waved the boys off when the phone rang, answering it with a short, "Sam Uley speaking."
"Hey Sam," Charlie said over the line. "You seen my kid? She said she was headed to the Rez, but Billy said he hadn't seen her. Reckon one of your boys might'a."
"She came by earlier, looking for Jake. Kid wasn't feeling up to visitors today, but I told her she could hang around. She's crashed on my couch. You want me to wake her?" I offered, peering into the living room. Red was completely slumped over now, face unattractively mashed against the soft, worn leather cushion.
"Any chance you could let her sleep?" Charlie asked, awkwardly. I could hear the sound of nails on skin as he no doubt scratched the back of his neck the same way Red did when she was uncomfortable. "I hate to ask, but she ain't been sleeping much lately. Not at all, from what I've seen. I'd be surprised if she managed three hours in as many days, not to mention she never eats. It's a wonder she can stand up right."
"She must be pretty tired," I agreed, biting my lip. I wondered if our distance effected her sleep. A niggling of worry gnawed at my stomach, but I supressed it. She spent most of her waking hours here since the imprint, the distance couldn't be effecting her yet. I'd worry about Red, but on my own terms. It would be to easy to become overbearing, if I let the wolf reign.
I never let the wolf reign.
"Got half the guys here, and they ain't quiet. She can crash here no problem. If she's still here in the morning, I'll have her give you a call, yeah?"
"Have her ring me at the station. I'm over time all frickin' week," he agreed. "Thanks Sam."
I dropped the phone into the receiver, and turned to find Embry with a blanket in hand. "She's probably freezing, the way you have the AC up."
"Let her freeze," I muttered, snatching up the afghan. It was one of my mothers earlier creations, a mess of yellow, grey and red thread, knitted together with awkward lumpy stitches. She'd learned to knit during physical therapy, and it had done wonders. The afghan was her first big thing, and I awkwardly cherished it, for the symbol that it was. That things would always get better, she had said.
It seemed symbolic almost, as I laid it over Red. Pausing for a moment I sighed, gently tugging off her shoes. She was sockless, and I blamed my mother for the weird urge to scold her for it. Tucking her in I gave into the urge to brush the hair out of her face, fingers trailing over a scatter of freckles. Even in her sleep, she frowned.
~000~
Red woke just after my post-patrol shower, rubbing at her eyes as she stumbled into the kitchen. "Time'sit?" She mumbled at me, pushing a mess of hair from her face. "Shit is it tomorrow?"
"I'm pretty sure it's today, actually," I replied, sliding a plate across the island. "Eat."
"M'not hungry," she said so fast, I wondered if it was an automatic reply. "Fuck I need to get home. Charlie's probably freaking out. I'm going to be in so much trouble, he's already on my case about..." she grumbled, turning a cold look my way. "Why the hell did you let me sleep so long?"
"One, I am neither your alarm clock nor your mother, and not in any way responsible for waking you up. Two, I talked to Charlie last night. He asked me to let you sleep, so I did. Apparently, you sleep about as much as you eat. Now, sit down, shut up and eat. Emaciated bitch is really unattractive no matter what the media tells you." I wasn't a morning person, and apparently neither was she. Huh. We did have something in common.
Right on cue, she hit me with a bitch-face, sliding the plate back over to me. "As you said, you are not my mother, and I'm not hungry." And with better timing then her bitch-face her stomach growled, rendering her argument loudly invalid.
"Look," I said abruptly, slapping my hand on the table. "Cut the crap okay? Your dad said you weren't eating. You look like a light breeze could knock you the fuck over. So pick up that fucking fork, eat your eggs or I am going to feed you like a baby, since it's how you want to act." I was blaming my attitude on the lack of sex and coffee.
"You wouldn't," she dared, glaring at me, hands balled into fist. "God, Sam! What does it matter to you if I eat? You don't know me! You don't care!" She slammed her hand down hard, rattling the wood.
And it pained me because I did care, and I could see she wasn't okay. Her skin was stretched tight over her bones, sallow and dry. She looked sick, heart-sick maybe, but sick, and I cared. Cared so much that watching her hurt, it hurt me. "You think fighting every thing is gonna fix your problems? Or are you just wallowing? You want to know why, Little Red?" I asked, hands planted firmly on the counter as I leaned over towards her. "Because your bitchy little bullshit? It don't work for me. Your despair and drama? It does nothing for me. I simply don't care. Your rebellion has no effect on me like it does with Charlie, or Jake. I've seen better tantrums thrown by six year old's and I am just not impressed! You want to know why I am doing this? Because you are obviously not capable of taking care of yourself, no matter how badly you seem to want to prove that you are. And at the end of the day it seems like I'm the only one telling you to shut your fucking mouth and eat your goddamn breakfast. Please."
"I won't," she replied sharply, petulantly. "You can't make me. You're nothing to me. I don't have to listen to you. I don't need you! I don't need anybody!"
Pushing my heart out of my throat and back where it belonged, I ignored her more painful words. "Prove it! Grow the fuck up! You're acting like a fucking baby! I know it hurt! But heartbreak is part of life! It happens, it hurts, you grow up, you get over it!"
"I can't!" She screamed, picking up the coffee mug, full of coffee, and hurling it at me. It smashed against my chest, falling to the floor and breaking into pieces. "He wasn't just some guy! I loved him!"
"You're eighteen! You'll love again! But this? This thing you can't let go off? It's getting old. You think you can just keep bitterly burning all your bridges, but one day your gonna find yourself on an island, alone. Cullen is gone, but that doesn't mean you have to be alone like this, Red. Doesn't mean you have to be such a fucking cunt and push every one way. Because that is what you are doing. Charlie didn't even want you to come home, Bella. He would rather you stay here out of his hair, not his problem." It was cruel, but effective. It probably wasn't even a lie. I was already tired of her, for the day. "There are people who care about you; Jacob, Billy, you're dad. It's killing them to see you like this. It's time to get better, Little Red."
She looked away, tears burning in her eyes. "He was everything. I'll...I'll never love any one like I loved him."
"He was just a boy," I said reasonably, to the girl before me, the near perfect stranger. "There will be more." One, if I had anything to say for it. Which I didn't, not really. It would always be her choice. She could walk away, break out bond on her side and leave me stranded, and it terrified me.
"No there won't," she said more firmly, anger working back into her voice. "Where do you get off talking about it, huh? You don't know! It's nothing to you! You have nothing to do with it!"
"Then what are you doing here?"
"N..nothing," she stuttered, pushing away from the counter, shaking her head. "I...I don't need to be here. I...I hate you. I fucking hate you. Why are you doing this to me? How can you be so mean?"
"I think you like it," I growled, circling around the counter. I was angry, mostly at her for being such a brat, and at me for making her nearly cry. "I think you like it when I call your shit. Every one...they walk on egg shells around you and you hate it, don't you? All this fight; what are you trying to prove? That your tough? That your strong? You arestrong, I can see that. But they keep treating you like your gonna break. Well, I'm not gonna," I said at length, words running out of my mouth before I could even think on them. "You wanna play tough, Little Red, then we'll play tough. But don't complain when you get hurt."
"I don't wanna play with you" she snarled, looking away, back against the wall. "I hate you!"
Pushing away the sting, I watched her go, escaping out the back door to her truck. The urge to follow, to make her stay reared up on me like a fire, but I reminded myself that she would be back.
She belonged here, if she wanted too.
TBC