Chapter Eight – Pride

Title: Through the Window Came the Wind

Author : lifelesslyndsey

Disclaimer: It might not mah sandbox, but I'm building castles. But I'm not profiting from them.

Pairing: SamxBella

Rating: NC-17

Warning: language, and adult concepts in probably graphic citrusy detail.

Summary: He fought to do what was expected of him and she did the opposite. If love was less about finding that perfect someone, and more about finding that someone who makes you perfect, you never know who you might find. Love might bring out the best in us, but first, it brings out the worst.

"As far as I know, I have no pride of opinion."
Albert J. Nock

~000~

She did come back the very next day, but made it painfully clear it wasn't to see me, not that I really expected as much. When she wasn't with Jake, she was stumbling around with the kids of Forks, half-drunk but full on empty laughter.

"She's just proving a point," Jake mollified, accompanying the words with an awkward arm pat. He meant well, but he was no Embry. I didn't want the sympathy anyway.

"What point?" I didn't understand her motives at all, only that she was doing what she thought she had to do. It didn't mean I had to like it though. And I certainly didn't.

"Oh hell," he breathed, scratching the back of his neck. "I doubt even she knows that."

I knew Red was on the Rez. I always knew as soon as she crossed into our lands, because with proximity came peace, tension melting out of me instantaneously. I hadn't know exactly where though. As she often came here with her friends of Forks in a show of what I assumed was independence, I tried not to keep such sharp tabs on her. It wasn't easy, of course; her presence was always there in the back of my mind. I thought that perhaps, it was the same way for her.

So it came as a surprise when I stepped out from around Jacobs shed with the intention of dropping off the small stack of books Billy had loaned me, to find Bella knocking gently on his door.

I ducked back, watching from around the corner in curiosity. Here she was blatantly violating my one rule; do not go see Jacob without me. I didn't understand it, she'd been fairly good about waiting for me when she wanted to see him. It had surprised me that she hadn't even thought to ask for Embry, Jared or even Paul to sit with them instead, but she never had. In all honesty Jake was fine, as safe as any of the Pack, but he suffered through the babysitting for my benefit.

I may have been seriously sick of her behavior, but I was still desperately dependent on my need to see her.

"You're not suppose to be here, Bella," Billy said gruffly, holding open the screen door with his foot. "Jake isn't even around."

"That's probably for the better," she replied quietly, staring down at the ground. She looked positively meek, and I hated it almost as much as I hated any of her bitter masks. Where was the in between? The middle ground? "I'm actually here to see you Billy. We need to talk."

He didn't invite her in, though I doubt any one was really surprised. "I ain't got nothing to say to you."

"But I have something to say to you," Red said firmly, lifting her chin before she lost her nerve. "I love Jake. He's my best friend...and has been there for me through so much. Why can't you understand it the way he does? I did...do love the Cullens. All of them," she said in a breath, fists shaking at her sides. "They're monsters, but no more than your son. Don't look at me like that Billy Black. Your ancestors saw something in them, that they trusted, to a degree. The Cullens harm no one, just as the Pack harms no one, both by choice! They could, just as easily as Jake could, or Embry or Sam or any of them; the ability is there in both of them. But they don't, because they don't want to. They fight nature. You don't have to like them, but you have to respect that kind of sheer control. It's the same thing, it's the same kind of fight every one of the pack goes through as they learn to control themselves. I've seen it, in all of them. It's the same."

Billy was silent for a moment, possibly stunned, though I couldn't see his face. I was surprised myself though, at the comparison. I had thought it of course, the parallels that neither of us, Pack or Cullen had truly asked for the curses bestowed on us.

"It isn't the same," Billy replied at last, his voice rough with anger. "They're blood sucking monsters! They kill!"

"They don't, Billy. And the ones who have...they fight even harder. Don't you understand? For the Cullens, it's hunger, a physical need. For our...your Pack, it's anger, an anger so deep it's genetically part of them. Neither of them can help it. You judge me because I loved...love him, them, but what about Jake? What about when he finds some one, some one good for him" she added, much to my approval. She wasn't good for him, because she was mine. End of the fucking story. "Don't you want her to be able to look past that part of him that isn't human? The monster part of him? Because he is so much more than that, just like the Cullen's."

"My boy is a monster because of them!" Billy bellowed at her, wheeling back. He was taking their discussion inside because he was angry. Billy wasn't one to air his grievances publicly; very few of the Tribe were. She followed him shaking her head, and I behind her, silently, till I stood on the porch, slightly out of sight. "These boys? They're werewolves because of the Cullens."

"They're werewolves because of vampires," she snapped back. "And because of the blood, of the gift or curse or whatever you want to call it, that you're ancestors passed down. But they are not werewolves because of me so stop taking it out one me! I don't deserve it!"

"She's right, Billy," I cut in, to their mutual surprise. I opened the screen door, eyes on my Elder. "She's done nothing wrong."

"She knew, and still she-"

"Loved him for him," I cut in again. "And one day, some girl is going to love Jacob for Jacob and you won't hate her for it. Red is right, Billy."

"You're not going to yell at me?" She asked in surprise, watching me warily. I felt it unfair. I was firm with her, perhaps on the side of harsh, but never needlessly hurtful. I said what had to be said, that and no more.

"No. I said you had every right to defend yourself and you're not wrong," I replied with a shrug, planting myself firmly beside her and silently daring Billy to protest. It was unlike me to speak out against him, but not only did I agree, Red was my imprint. I'd stand by her for almost anything.

Not that Billy knew that.

Though, judging by his suddenly narrowed gaze, I wondered if he was beginning to understand. He was nothing if not a curious and unfortunately intelligent bastard.

"I don't like them," Billy said at length, watching me and not Red as he spoke. "But they've always adhered to the treaty. You're right in that regard; our ancestors did trust them enough to make the deal. I..." He took a deep and tired breath. "It's hard to watch them go through this, all of them, the boys. And...and maybe it's harder to watch them go through it because it's so pointless. The Cullens aren't a threat..."

"And yet they still were forced to phase," Red finished, with her own sigh. "For that I am so sorry, Billy. But you just have to make the best of a bad situation now."

If only she'd look in a mirror and say that, I thought idly, watching as she subconsciously adjusted her body to face mine. It was a gesture Billy did not miss, as he gathered up the journals he'd lent me off the table, and shoved them at Red.

"You should read those," he said, glancing at me. "They're journals from our ancestors, about the Tribe, and about the pack. Tales, legends, things like that. I think you'd like it. I can't just turn off what I feel, but I've known you for years. But Bella...you're either a wolf-girl, or a leech-girl. You can't be both."

"I'm here, aren't I? I thought you weren't suppose to share your legends with outsiders," she commented, pain in her eyes as she adjusted the stack of books in her arms. The faded red leather one looked bright against the rest, and I wanted to rip it out of her hands. It was a journal written by Quil's great grand-father, the only wolf out of the previous pack to imprint. It was, essentially, the book on imprinting.

Billy gave me another one of his calculating looks, before returning his gaze to Red. "We're not."

She left after that, a funny little look on her face, mostly confusion with a dangerous little hint of curiosity. Billy waited till she was in her truck, pulling out of the drive way before even addressing me. "You imprinted."

"I did." There was no denying it. I didn't want to anyway. It was only natural that I wanted the world to know that she was mine, that a claim had been staked. Billy was safe, but the wolf in me wanted him to know I didn't appreciate his animosity towards my mate.

"I could see it on your face," Billy replied, in what I suspect was a nearly amused tone. I didn't appreciate it by any means, but amusement was better then the hostility I had expected. "The way you moved around her, just like she was your center, like you were the moon to her earth. I've read the book, Sam, I know the signs. You were all over her without ever really touching her and you stood up to me."

"You were wrong," I snapped back, fingers curling into fists. I wasn't angry, not by any means, but I was irritated that I'd become so transparent in my devotion to her.

A shrewd look followed, as Billy replied. "Has that ever stopped you before?"

Ignoring the question, I pressed on, leaning against the archway between the kitchen and living room. "You gave her the books."

"I did," he echoed my previous words with no small amount of smugness. "She'll read them all, too. Bella has always been curious, always thirsty to know more. She'll know more about the tribe then most our people do."

"You gave her the Altera journal," I said, with practiced calm. "Even though you knew I imprinted. Why?"

"You haven't told her," he confirmed to himself. "Why?"

I blinked at him, my expression more openly disdainful then my words had ever been. "Have you met her? She's a bitter freaking harpy who needs to grow up and quit acting like the world as ended because that leech broke her heart. I do not want to be imprinted to that,"I spat, head reeling at the admission. I was embarrassed; I wasn't the type of man to talk about a women like that. Red just pushed all my damn buttons. "But I do love her, and I see...all this potential. I can see she's fighting to be herself, but she's going about it the wrong way. I just want...I want her to find herself and then I want her to find me. Hearts get broken, it's part of growing up."

His responding chuckle startled me out of my agitation. "As I recall, Leah Clearwater did a number on you when you were Bella's age."

Smiling benignly, I huffed. "To be fair, Leah had every reason to leave me. She thought I was on steroids, that I was dangerous. I was dangerous."

"I think you should tell Bella about the imprinting," Billy said, in way of answer. "She was abandoned by an entire family. The way she spoke...I'd say she was maybe more in love with the whole family, than just him. And that makes sense. She never had a family. She had her mom, but...you've heard the stories about Renee. She didn't have any one. She just wants to be wanted, I'd say."

"Yeah, I'd prefer if you didn't channel your inner in the kitchen, Dad," Jacob said, from outside the screen door. He'd sneaked right up on me, the little shit. Only he could do that, proof positive that he was going to grow into the perfect alpha. Maybe not now, or soon, but one day. He pushed open the door, and sniffed. "Bella was here?"

"She came to have a word with me," Billy replied with a chagrined smile. "Seems I've been taking out my anger on her, wrongly. She's a smart girl, strong too. You're lucky she's your friend. Lucky she doesn't care about..."

"Me being a werewolf?" Jacob asked, grabbing an apple off the counter. "Why would she? She knows I'm still Jacob. I guess maybe there aren't a lot a girls who would see it that way, but Bells is special."

I growled at him, embarrassingly enough, and then had to laugh because it was just so ridiculous. "Sorry. Red hasn't been coming around lately, it's putting me on edge."

Jacob nodded, wiping a line of apple juice off his chin. "I've noticed she hasn't been coming around as much and when she does it's with the Forks kids. Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

If only it were that simple. "Everything is a fight with her."

"You should bring her to the spring solstice festival, Jake," Billy cut in. "She needs to be a part of our customs anyway, as a member of this tribe. If I remember, she does enjoy the story telling."

Frowning, I cut Jacob off before he could even speak. "Don't you think a solstice celebration is a bit much for an introduction? I don't know Billy-"

"I think it's perfect," Billy replied smartly, cutting me off as easily as any of the Elders did. "Or you could wait till the Winter celebration when we do the fertility ritual. Nothing says I love you like spilling the carefully collected and fermented piss of a pregnant wolf on consecrated grounds."

Jacob snorted, chucking his apple core into the trash. "It's cool Sam. She can just hang for the day celebration, and you can take her home before they get to the ritual part."

"You're both no fun," his father said with a snort.

tbc