Chapter 7

A/N: The moment of truth is finally here. This chapter is a little longer than the previous ones. This one and the next one were the hardest for me to write. I feel very protective of Alison and it's going to get tough for her and Amelia. So hang on and please share your thoughts with me. I would like to know what you think. Thank you!

Since their patient John Doe was still unconscious when Amelia, Richard, Alison and Zack came, there was not much left to do after they did a regular check-up. So Richard and Zack left the room, while Amelia ordered Alison to stay over night to look after his vitals and hopefully progression.

''His BP has been very unstable in the past few hours, so watch him like a hawk. Understood?'' – Amelia said with her official doctorly voice.

''Understood, Dr. Shepherd.'' – Alison confirmed.

''Good. Page me or Dr. Hunt if something happens.'' – Amelia added and left the room.
Amelia was just leaving the chart at the nurse station when she saw Meredith coming.

''Hi. You look like you had a rough day.'' – Amelia said to her sister-in-law and frowned a little herself.

''I sure did. Are you okay?'' – Meredith looked at her slightly anxious.

''Yeah...fine...just tired. Long day.'' – she sighed and they started walking.

''Mmmhmm'' – Meredith murmured not so convinced but continued – ''Have you seen Derek today?''

'' Haven't just seen him. We had a little showdown in the hallway. Two hous ago, actually'' – Amelia was still annoyed with her brother.

'' Of course you did.'' – Meredith couldn't help but smile at Amelia's sarcasm.

''You two will work it out. I'm sure.'' – Amelia smiled too.

''Too bad there's nothing to work out. He decided he's leaving and I decided I'm not. So... We're at the dead end right now. But he should go. It's a great opportunity, right?'' – Meredith's voice cracked a bit.

Amelia didn't know what to say to her. Meredith was obviously hurt, but Amelia couldn't think of anything to say to make her feel better. So she decided to change the subject and lighten the mood.
'' So, what do you think about new interns? I haven't seen you this morning in the gallery.''

'' Yeah, I missed Webber's well known speech. I was in surgery. But they look confused and terrified like they all do on the first day.'' – Meredith chuckled and then remebered something and continued – '' Ouuu...and yeah...there was one intern. Girl. Looks very young for an intern. When I first saw her she reminded me of Derek, and for a second there I got scared that she could be his daughter who came here to find him and destroy my not-so-perfect-life. It happend to Mark few years ago. He didn't even know he had a daughter and when she came she completely took over his life, so he and Lexie broke up.''

Amelia just mouthed – ''Oh''.

''So, you can get why I wasn't so nice to her at first. But she seems okay and hopefully clean of those 'Shepherd genes' you guys share.'' – Meredith laughed at her own joke.

Since Amelia didn't say anything nor she laughed at the joke, Meredith said – ''I'm heading to pick up the kids from the daycare. See you at home?''

''Aham. See you there.'' – was all Amelia could answer.

As Amelia was changing from her scrubs and grabbing her stuff to go home, she felt as if her insides were twisting. Lump in her throat was making it even harder not to start crying. When she got into her car there was nothing that could stop the tears from coming. All breaks were down as her heart was crumbling and drowning in tears, yet again, for the life she could've had with her little girl, but gave it up. She tried to calm down explaining to herself that all these reminders today were only coincidences, but her heart simply rejected to listen the reason. She sat there for some time 'till the tears have dried up, then went home hoping to get some much needed sleep.

It was around 2am and Alison couldn't help but notice that hours seemed to drag, but after such an exhausting day she appreciated some peace and quiet. The patient was stable, showing no change, good or bad. And after all the surgeries he had at once, that was great. Alison was thankful for his state. She was drained emotionally and physically. She frowned even more when she remembered that she promised to call her familiy and haven't got the chance to do so. They all texted her throughout the day to wish her luck and ask how things were going. Even Nana texted her and she hates it, actually she never did it before. They loved her and she missed them already.

After and hour or so, she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore so she closed them just for a second, to rest a little. Obviously, she fell asleep.
And she dreamed. That dream was her escape from reality for as long as she could remember. 'Her mom tucked her in bed, then layed down beside her, read her a story while playing with her dark little locks, then kissed her so many times and she never left her side before she fell asleep.'
Alison loved that dream, but she hated waking up knowing it could only happen in her dreams. When she was younger she cried every time after waking up, feeling so lonely. That made her feel weak sometimes, but in the last year or two as the dream was starting to fade away she needed it even more. It made her more resilient.

She roused from sleep after few hours. At first she didn't know where she was, but after blinking few times she jumped from the chair and looked at the monitors and vitals of her patient, that she was supposed to look after, not sleep beside his bed. Everything seemed to be good. BP even better than before. She sighed with relief.

Around 8am Dr. Hunt came to check up on John Doe. He ordered her to go shower and eat something, take some time to breathe and then come back. Alison thanked him and ran as fast as she could, not giving him a chance to change his mind.

She was kept busy by Dr. Edwards for few hours, drawing blood, rushing lab test, x-rays etc. So when she got back to ICU the patient was awake, but not willing to say his name. The police couldn't find out who he was. Noone reported him missing nor was looking for him, and the car he drove was stolen. Everyone tried to talk to him, but all he had to say were jokes and dirty comments.

When Alison came in his eyes widened. He looked pretty much smitten with her, so instead of a dirty comment he offered a smile and said – ''Hi beautiful. What's your name?''

'' Since you are John Doe for us, than I guess I'll be Jane Doe for you.'' – Alison answered. Amelia seemed to appreciate the dose of sarcasm in Alison's voice, because she smirked a little.

''I'm all up for sharing my last name with you, beautiful. Even if it's Doe.'' – he was obviously flirting.

If he wasn't a criminal Alison would definetely admit that he was charming. But she continued and said – ''Too bad I don't fall for false charm of criminals and drunk drivers. But, just for fun, let's say I do. What kind of a charmer would you be without saying your name? A coward maybe?''

She got him good with that one. He flinched and for the first time he was distracted. But he continued – ''Uuuu give me some morphium, I just got burned.''

Alison didn't answer, so he snapped – '' Fine, beautiful. I'll tell you my name and my story. But on one condition. After that you tell me your name?''

''Only if you say the truth we have a deal.'' – Alison said after letting him wait for a few moments just to tease him.

He nodded and then started talking. '' My name is Robert Daniels. I'm 17 and I live on the streets. My mother gave me up when I was 4. Since then I have been in the foster sistem. The people I'm supposed to be living with threw me out. And that's about it. You won't ever understand me, so don't even bother. Now can I know your real name, Jane Doe? ''

'' You know there are better ways to get attention than drinking and driving, hurting so many people and almost killing yourself in the process, right?'' – Alison told him understanding where he was coming from. Everyone in the room where staring at her. It was so quiet that you could hear a fly.

''I told you, you can't understand unless you've been through it. So don't bother.'' – he answered calmly.

''My name is Alison Jean. My mother gave me up when I was born. So yeah...I understand and know exactly how you feel. And I'm telling you, you can do much better than this.'' – Alison felt tears forming in her eyes after the confession, so she ran away, not looking back. Hunt, Webber and the boy were surprised, but nobody's reaction could compare to Amelia's. She was shocked.

And in that moment she knew. She just knew. And she couldn't believe it. Of course those blue eyes looked familiar and her dark hair and freckles, and the way she walked and talked. It was written all over her. The resemblence Meredith saw was real, but she wasn't quite correct. Alison reminded her of Derek only because Amelia and Derek look a lot alike. Amelia couldn't breathe. She felt like the whole world was collapsing on her head.
She walked out of the ICU without any word. Lost in her thoughts, confusion and feeling the tears burning her cheeks and her heart at the same time.

What was she supposed to do? What do you say to your daughter 18 years after you gave her away? Nothing she says or does now can turn back time...