"All the learning in the world cannot replace instinct."

Robert Ley

It was a quiet shift in all of our lives after that. Red got a job with my mother, Charlie stayed with Billy, and the Pack rotated out as his student-shadow. They used their time with the Chief carefully, subtly investigating any vampire activity in Forks as Charlie ran his own patrols. The sun rose, the sun set, and the days ticked on like that.

By the passing of the first week, I healed; the burn in the muscles of my shoulder faded to a dull ache. The pain of my broken ribs seemed to linger longest, every phase aggravating the old wound as the bones expanded to accommodate my larger frame. No one paid it any mind, letting me walk off the pain off with an illusion of privacy. I was half sure the pain would always be there, but I tried not to think about it.

For the most part, Red ignored me. Whatever tentative truce we'd struck seemed to morph back into her casual indifference. Except now it lacked the underlying current of hostility, mostly. She was honestly trying, and flourishing as she did so. Indeed, I rarely saw Red between work and never ending patrolling. Whoever the vampire was, she was wily. She sent us on a chase across the Olympic peninsula every night, in a blatant attempt to tire us out. It seemed to be her only tactic, for which I couldn't be more grateful. It was clear she'd never dealt with wolves. The harder she ran us, the more bloodthirsty we became, 'til we were nearly too far gone to phase back human as the sun rose. The harder she ran us, the more we wanted it. It was a testament to her own skill how badly we wanted her.

With every chase, it became more difficult to shake off the wolf in the morning hours as we hauled our asses home, crawling into our beds for some few hours of sleep. Most surprising, perhaps, was Paul who seemed to be the only wolf in the pack entirely unaffected by the growing urgency to catch the bitch. He was as bloodthirsty and violent as ever, but no more than usual, compared to the rest of the pack, whose bloodlust seemed to be growing. We were restless; restless and violent.

That was the hardest thing about being a wolf; getting caught between animal and man. With the absence of vampires, it was easy to compartmentalize the two. But the more time we spent not in wolf form, but as our wolf, the harder it became to separate the different desires. There had been some discussion as to why the Cullens hadn't elicited the same effects, but when it came down to it, it was because they were no real threat. But this vampire, she led us on a real chase, noses to the ground, sniffing out her trail. The hours were long and, with every passing one, our desire to kill her grew stronger. It wasn't something we could leave behind when we phased back to our human selves. The need, the blood-thirsty feral desire, it came with us.

I had only just gotten out of the shower when a soft knock echoed from the door. I could smell her from where I stood in the hall. She shut the door behind her, entering without any kind of invitation. "Sam?"

"Minute!" I found myself growling at Red, clearing my throat quickly as she sucked in a sharp, surprised breath. "Uh...Give me a minute, please."

I dried myself roughly with an already damp towel -hadn't had time to do laundry- and tugged on a pair of ratty cut-off sweats. She had pushed herself up onto one of the barstools at the counter, hands circling a water stain where her ass had been not so long ago. "Your mom sent me over with dinner," she mumbled, not exactly shy but perhaps reluctant. The ink had barely been signed on our agreement to move beyond our issues, I didn't exactly expect her to be all smiles and sunshine. She flicked the aluminum foil covering one of my mother's white casserole dishes. "How are things?"

She was wearing the red hoodie and it spoke of familiarity to the wolf in me. She'd been wearing it the night he'd first saw her. I shook my head hard, blinking rapidly. I hateddifferentiating the wolf from myself. We were not different; I was both man and wolf. The chase was beginning to wear on me, leaving me walking a razor-edged line between animal and Sam.

"We're getting closer," I replied after too long a pause. The growl was still there, shaking the timbre of my voice and she heard it, her breath hitching. "This vampire, she's...smart. But she's not familiar with the Pack. She doesn't understand how we work. She's either unfamiliar to these parts or young. She probably didn't know of us, this Pack or the last. We can use that to our advantage."

"Stop," Red breathed, eyes snapping to me where I slowly circling around the island counter, watching her like she was prey. She was small and jittery, like a frightened rabbit, heart thumping in her chest. I blinked away the shimmery haze, clearing my throat again. "Sit down, please. You're freaking me out."

"Sorry," I apologized, chagrined. "It's a side effect from chasing the vampire. All the things we feel as a wolf...they don't just go away when we phase. It makes us a little feral, and it's...hard not to give into it. We get restless, anxious. The whole pack's on edge right now. You should probably go, I'm not really fit for company," I explained honestly, pushing myself into a bar stool far opposite from her. I pulled the dish close to me, scenting it even as my stomach rumbled.

"She asked me to bring the dish back when you were done," Red replied carefully, staring at the countertop. Momma was meddling, it seemed. I was perfectly capable of returning a fucking dish. She wanted Red here with me, for whatever reason. Most likely because she knew I'd need it after a day like mine.

Leaning over to the sink, I snatched a fork and knife from the strainer, conscious of my manners even when near my most primal. I tugged away the tin-foil letting it flutter to my kitchen floor without a care. I was starving, and Momma had known what I would want. I'd already explained to the Pack what to expect, what to be ready for. She'd seen me like this exactly once before; I had been a lone wolf then, when the small coven of three had first come. I had no skill, no direction then, but I had chased none the less. Chased until I couldn't speak without growling, sleep without seeing them behind my eyelids. I'd been feral then, just as I nearly was now. So naturally, Momma knew what I had needed when she'd sent Red with my dinner. It was as I had said before, these caveman tendencies. I needed my woman, and I need my meat.

Red made a choked little noise and I looked up at her from where I had been brutally cutting into a cheap cut of not-particularly-fresh steak. "Is that...that's raw," she said, sounding slightly breathless and sick.

I took a bite, teeth sinking through the pink meat. The blood of it seeped across my tongue, oddly warm and metallic. "Yeah," I said, after swallowing. It wasn't exactly good, but it was what I needed. The first time this had happened, I'd spent half an hour puking everything up once I realized what I had done. This time, I didn't think about it, simply ate with a wolf-like abandon.

"Is all the Pack like this right now?"

There was no need to ask what this was. I knew what this was; this was the darker half of the Tribe's protectors, the monsters lurking beneath the skin. This was gritty and real and unpleasant. While it was true that I didn't want her to see me like this, part of me was relieved. Red needed to see me as I was. To see that I wasn't a man; well, not just a man. I wanted her respect, something I had yet to earn. I wanted her to see what I would do for her: not just her, but my tribe. I wanted her to see what I could be for her, for my people; the monster I would become.

"Some of them," I replied, not bothering to chew. "Paul, Embry and Quil prefer to...find their dinner live."

"They hunt it?" she asked, looking surprised. "Embry?"

I chuckled around a mouthful of ground meat, nodding. "Each for their own reasons, but yes. Paul likes the kill, which isn't surprising, I'm sure. Quil likes the chase; he enjoys being a wolf. Embry...Embry is just so at peace with his wolf that he doesn't care. But he'd rather not ask his mom to feed him raw meat when she's just learned about everything. It's all a little new to her."

"You don't hunt?" Her eyes fell back to the dish in front of me, a little frown on her face. "You're not at peace with your wolf?"

Blinking, I shrugged. "I am, but you know...I lived as a wolf for over a month. I ate nothing but animal. I don't mind it, but I'd just...rather not. This...this is disgusting. Don't...don't think that I like this." Doing it was one thing, enjoying was another entirely. "Part of me does, I guess. The wolf part."

"Are they different? The wolf and you, I mean. You make it sound like they're different entities, like they have different needs," she said, tapping her nails against the counter. "The book talked about this a little bit, the merging between man and wolf or whatever. One of the journals Billy gave me, I mean. It's a lot different to uh...to see it, though."

I almost choked, but kept myself steady, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. The fucking journals, I'd almost forgotten about them entirely. "Uh," I cleared my throat. This was perhaps the first time she'd ever asked me anything, so earnestly. As horrified as I was at the prospect of her reading the Ateara journal, she was actually interested. And even if she did read the Ateara journal, what were the chances she'd make the correlation? Ateara's imprinting had been nothing like mine. "They're not different no, I'm the wolf and the man, but they do have different needs, if that makes sense. Shit...this is a horrible simile, but it's kind of like PMS? You know how you crave different shit, and you act differently? It's still you, but you're changed. I can't think of any kind of better comparison, as embarrassing as that is. So, um...you're reading the journals then? Which ones have you read?"

"The one about the legend, um about Taha Aki? And uh, the Ephraim Black journal. I read that one first." Of course she did, that was Jacob's family journal.

"Any questions?"

"No," she shook her head. "Who's out now?"

Swallowing again, I replied. "Paul and Jared are running the outer perimeter. Jake's on border patrol and Embry is with your dad. Quil and I are on our break. Once Charlie's back, Embry's going to take over for Jake. Quill and I will take over for Paul and Jared in the morning."

She nodded, seeming to be out of small talk. It was nice, if not a little strained, having her here. I didn't like the silence. "How's the resort?"

"It's a job," Red said with her own small smile. "It's okay. Everyone's really nice, like...weirdly nice," she explained, scrunching up her nose. "I figured they wouldn't like me much." And they wouldn't, but my generally unexplored intentions towards Red were clear to everyone but Red herself. Courting was taken seriously in the Tribe; it was considered bad luck to discuss it, much to my relief. No one would ask her about me, but nor would they be anything but welcoming to the Chief's chosen, even those who weren't exactly thrilled about welcoming a white girl to the Rez. "I like it though. Your mom is really nice about treating me as an employee and everything. I didn't want her to go easy on me."

"My momma will never go easy on you," I said with a smile. "It's not her way."

Squirming, Red rubbed at the back of her neck nervously. "It's weird living with her and your sisters," she admitted after a while. "She's not like my mom. I don't know..."

"She's not smothering you is she?" I asked, fork paused before my mouth. "I can talk to her—-"

"No!" Red blurted. "No, no it's not that. She gives me a lot of space. I guess, I don't know. It's just strange. I don't know what to do with myself most days. I didn't realize how much I'd come to take care of Charlie. It was part of my...I don't know. My routine. I cooked and cleaned and did all that, but it's not like your mom needs help with any of that. I don't think she'd appreciate it anyway."

"Probably not," I considered. "She's always been very independent. You know if you want to help, you could always go cook over at Billy's. I'm sure Charlie is getting sick of Billy's spaghetti. Or you know...there are other members in the community who could benefit from a little help here and there."

She smiled at that, small but there. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, but I'll keep it in mind."

Catching my frown, she reiterated. "If...if I do something like that, I don't want it to be mistaken as part of my punishment, you know? I don't want people thinking I'm helping because I have to."

I sighed, rubbing my face. "I haven't even thought about the rest of your punishment. All this shit with the leech... I won't leave you hanging though. It's probably driving you insane, huh?"

"Mostly not knowing what's expected of me," she said with a shrug. "I'm not exactly anxiously waiting to serve my time, so to speak."

We lapsed into silence then, and though it was not entirely void of tension, it was mostly comfortable, mostly companionable, all things considered. It was probably our first real conversation, completely empty of hurt or anger.

Red watched me eat, and I knew it wasn't pretty. I was beyond pretty, in that moment. I could feel my chin wet where juice had escaped the corners of my mouth, probably painting it with lines of pink or red. I forced that image from my mind, feeling my stomach twist in revolt. This was what I wanted, what I needed; I'd stay hungry until I gave into the need.

"Oh god, is that hamburger meat?" Red asked, swallowing. The steak was gone but the dish wasn't empty.

I sank my fork into the soft, ground meat. Taking a bite, I swallowed, licking my teeth clean. "Venison," I replied, pointedly not thinking about it as I shoveled my mouth full. It was fresh, far bloodier than the steak had been; room temperature and kind of ripe. I fucking wanted it, even if the feeling of it sliding across my tongue made my stomach clench uncomfortably. I was surprised she'd lingered this long, looking as green around the gills as she did. "You should go."

Red said nothing, simply sat where she was, seemingly impassive. I knew better.

I stared down at the last of the meat, a slightly freezer-burnt roast I remembered seeing in the back of momma's fridge. It was deep red and seeping blood half an inch deep along the bottom of the dish. I could feel the vibrations of silent growls unfurling in my throat, as I bared my teeth, at war with myself. My fingers remained on each side of the dish, curled around my silver wear in tight-clenched fists. I felt my hands tremble just looking at it, stomach clenching and churning.

The cool of Red's hands shocked me as they curled over my own, tugging the knife and fork from my palms. "Go on," she said grimly, jutting her chin towards the roast. "Go on, just do it," she urged me as though she knew, swallowing as she picked my hand up at the wrist, slapping it against the bloody meat. "The journal said...that when it gets like this you can't ignore it...you just gotta..."

My fingers sank into it instantly, the old blood cool against my skin. "You should go," I said again, quietly. "You shouldn't have to watch this." I was torn between wanting her to go and wanting to plant her in my lap while I ate. She should have gone, but I didn't have it in me to send her away.

She shook her head, eyes locked on mine. I lifted it from the dish, heart thumping in my chest and growled as I sank my teeth into it. Her eyes never left mine, even as I ate. I tore at it open-mouthed, blood coating my chin. It ran down my neck, sticky on my skin, but it didn't stop me. I swallowed, barely chewing, holding it in both hands as I ripped it apart. Red watched me do it, watched my brutal and inhuman display with wide eyes. Her white knuckled hands were curled over the edge of the counter, the very counter where I'd fucked her, but she never looked away. The resulting erection wasn't surprising; I was too feral to deny what she did to me, but human enough to keep it mostly in check. Saliva welled in my mouth, washing down the chunks of bloody meat every time I swallowed, 'til there was nothing left but blood in my hands.

"Sam-"

Whatever it was she had to say fell short as a foreign howl pierced the air. "That's not one of mine," I said, pushing away from the table at once. "Seth must have phased; we weren't expecting it for at least another week! I have to go. Please, please stay in the cabin? I'll call when I know it's safe to leave, but he could be running around, Red and..." The endearment slipped past me easily as I rushed for the door. I paused, hands curled over the door-frame. "Thanks...you know. For sitting with me."

Red said nothing, just shrugged and shooed me out the door.

tbc