Chapter 16

A/N: I want to correct myself, chapter 15 follows the events from episode 7 of season 11, not episode 3 as I said in my previous note.

And again, I'm very sorry for keeping you waiting for so long. I owed you one long and eventful chapter, so here it is. I hope you like it and leave a comment. Your reviews are the best thing! Thank you for reading.

Alison knocked on the office door. She waited few seconds for the answer, but recieved nothing. No movement behind the door, no sound, absolutely nothing. She knocked again and again and again. Amelia obviously wasn't in there, but Alison wasn't about to give up. She desperately needed to see Amelia. Just to see her and to know that she's doing okay. Then she could go back to being angry. But something was bugging her and making her worried. Amelia was supposed to be on-call and she wasn't answering Alison's pages nor she was in her office. All kinds of bad thoughts came to Alison's mind as she was still standing in front of the door. Fear for the worse crept in her bones and she started shaking nervously. Tears started collecting in her eyes at the thought that Amelia might have relapsed and she spent the day angry and resentful instead of trying to understand. Now Alison was angry at herself because she thought before that she deserved to be selfish. But while she was standing there, worried sick, she couldn't stop those tears from falling. What if something happened to Amelia?

After ten minutes of non-stop knocking at the door she tried calling Amelia's phone, but her calls went straight to voicemail. At that point Alison was panicking. What if Amelia lost her job and ran away? What if she left Seattle? What if she left her again? – all those questions were going through her head as she was wondering the hallways aimlessly.

''Dr. Webber, please tell me you know where she is.'' – Alison asked desperately. ''I can't find her. She's not answering my pages or my phone calls.''

''She didn't talk to you at all today?'' – Richard was genuinely surprised. He thought he convinced Amelia to sort everything out with Alison.

''No. And I'm worried sick. Did she say something to you?''

''Umm...well, we did talk and I've told her to get to a meeting as soon as possible and to talk to you. She was devestated and heartbroken because you witnessed all the mess. I tried to convince her that you would understand...'' – Richard answered with a slight tone of worry in his voice.

Alison looked down, embaressed how quick to judge she was. In the middle of that situation Amelia was still thinking and worrying about her. And all she did was being angry and resentful, not understandig at all. Plain selfish and wrong.
''I don't know where to look for her. What if she relapses because of this...because of me?'' – Alison said barely louder than a whisper.

''She's strong, Alison. She's been through a lot worse than this and she has survived.'' – he tried to comfort her, but he wasn't lying. It was all true. Amelia's been through hell and back and she survived.

''I'm such a horrible person...and daughter.'' – Alison frowned as her cheeks were turning red after the confession.

''Hey, don't do that to yourself. Both of you are doing your best.'' – he offered her a smile and added – ''And Alison...maybe she just needs some space.''

''What if she needs a lot of space? What if she's gone? – terrified look on her face was evident.

''She's not gone. You'll see tomorrow...''

Alison nodded and went to the on-call room, deciding she would not leave the hospital without seeing Amelia.

Amelia headed home after the extended meeting and found Derek drinking alone in the dark. It was late and she was exhausted in every possible way. Having to face or talk to her brother wasn't the plan, but avoiding him definetely was. Unfortunetely for her, he was waiting. He couldn't fall asleep without knowing she was okay and sober. His guilty conscience didn't allow him to do anything other than feel terrible for what he did.

''I talked to them Amy. And I'm so sorry. I really am.'' – Derek said as Amelia walked by him heading to her room.

She wanted not to pay attention and just let him be, so he could feel all the guilt in the world. Amelia knew he deserved that, but she also knew his words were sincere.
''I know you are. But I'm still so mad. What you did was...''

''It was wrong.'' – he interrupted her. '' Everything I've been doing in these past two months is wrong. I'm angry all the time and I can't control it. Everything I do is hurting the people I love the most. I just...I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to do.''

Amelia recognized that broken and lost look on her brother's face. She was very familiar with it. After seeing it so many times in her own reflection in the mirror she recognized it like she would an old friend.
''I know how you feel.'' – she sighed with sadness – '' We call it rock bottom.''

Two days have passed and Amelia still couldn't find the strength to go back to work and confront Alison and everybody else. In a way, she felt stuck. Stuck in her room, lost in her thoughts. The Dream house was as far as it could be from being a dream. Amelia barely left her room, Meredith and Derek were in a cold war while Zola was acting out because noone wanted to play with her and Bailey cried almost all the time because of the pain that first little tooth coming out was giving him. Considering the situation it was more relevant to call the house ' The Nightmare house' instead of ' The Dream house'.

On the third day Amelia couldn't find any valid reason to skip work again. As much as she dreaded it, it was time for her to suck it up and go face the world. Well, she knew she could stand the stares and whispers. After everything that happened to her, it was nothing new and she learned to handle it. But facing Alison was a completely different story. They promised they would be honest and that there would be no more running away from each other. And Amelia managed to break both promises in just one day.

The first thing that needed to be done was having a serious talk with chief Hunt and Amelia didn't know what to expect. He offered his help, but at the time she was too embaressed and proud to accept it. She didn't know the chief personally, but she heard around the hospital that he's a major in the army, too. As she thought about it, it definetely wasn't a surprise. The way he was giving orders and handling the ER was quite similar to how she imagined it would be in the army. People trusted and respected him. But she couldn't help herself. From the stories her mom, who was a marine nurse, told her about the strict rules in the army Amelia concluded she may not be given a second chance.

''Chief...do you have a minute?'' – Amelia asked carefully.

''Dr. Shepherd, I'm glad to see you back.''

''Thank you for understanding. I... I needed these few days.'' – she said with a slight tone of shame in her voice.

Owen nodded in acknowledgement. ''Well, the board had a meeting and after that I made a decision regarding your situation and your post as a head of neuro.''

All the color drained from Amelia's face in a second. He was definetely an army guy, quick to get to a point without hesitation, she thought.

As she was preparing herself for being fired she heard him saying – ''You were right. You don't have to tell me anything. It's your story, your past. It's personal. And you are doing your job. That's what matters to me. So I decided to keep you as the head of neuro.''

Amelia was left speechless just bluntly staring at the man in front of her. She was preparing herself for the worse and was already trying to figure out what would be her next move. Moving from Seattle wasn't a possibility, that much she knew. But, as his words started becoming more and more clear in her brain Amelia couldn't believe. That wasn't something she expected to hear from Hunt. Her brain needed few seconds to catch up, but as it did a wave of relief washed over her.

Without waiting for her response Owen spoke in a hurry – ''I got to go now. See you around Dr. Shepherd.''

He turned around and started walking away when Amelia mouthed a simple and sincere - ''Thank you.'' He offered a smile and rushed away.

''Ali! Heeey, Ali... Did you hear anything I just said? – Zack inquired. ''What's been up with you these last few days? You're always in your head, distracted... Are you okay?''

Alison sighed. ''I'm sorry Zack. I didn't catch a lot of sleep last night. I'm just tired. It'll pass.''

''You don't sound very convincing. There's something more...''

''Zack, please... Let's just eat.'' – Alison was eagar to cut that conversation short.

''Your family is across the country and I'm your friend. You could talk to me. I'm not that bad of a listener, you know.'' – Zack grinned.

''I'm not saying you are.'' – Alison smiled for the first time in three days – ''But, I'm fine. Really.''

Zack still wasn't convinced. It was very well known that people usually use the phrase 'I'm fine' when they're actually not. The truth was that she didn't sleep well, but he couldn't stop wondering what was the reason. In more then two months Alison was always on-point and always the best. He never saw her distracted, but now she was. Although Zack knew she was only 18 and it could be something silly, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was something much more serious.

''Ouu come on, Zackarony. Stop staring! You're freaking me out.'' – Alison finally giggled.

''Don't push it, Jelly Jean.'' – Zack laughed out loud.

''Okay, okay...Let's stop with the nicknames. You were saying before... something about that crazy old lady...''

''Yeah, yeah...You're not going to believe what she said to Dr. Bailey. It was hilarious.''

''Tell me all about it...'' – Alison said and tried again to concentrate on what Zack was telling her. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. That big brain of hers was very stubborn and wouldn't give her a break from thinking and worrying about Amelia. Those last three days were a constant struggle and everyone around here seemed to notice her distraction. Usually she was great at hiding her feelings, but this time it obviously wasn't the case. She wanted to apologize and be there for Amelia, but Amelia was nowhere to be found. She wasn't coming to work, wasn't answering her pages or phone calls. Alison was slowly becoming very desperate. She even thought about asking Dr. Webber to take her to the Shepherd house. But in the second she thought about it she pushed that idea away and the feeling of being left behind yet again kicked in. Alison then decided that there wasn't anything more she could do, but wait. Amelia must have known she was looking for her and Alison figured that was more than enough on her part.

Half an hour later, as Zack and Ali were leaving the cafeteria, Dr. Webber shouted in a hurry – ''Jean! Just the person I was looking for. Can we have a word?

Alison nodded with confussion written all over her face. Zack got the message that it wasn't something for his ears and walked away after saying – ''I'll try to catch you for lunch.''- and exusing himself.

''She came in this morning and was looking for you.'' – Richard said quickly out of the blue – ''I think she was called in on a counsult, but go in her office and wait for her there.''

Alison was cought off guard with that information and she didn't understand why Richard wanted to fix them so much. '' Thank you, but...I don't understand something, sir.'' – she paused and then continued – ''Why are you trying so hard to help us?''

He frowned a bit. ''I'm sorry, but... I just... I wanted to see at least someone have a happy ending. I guess you know about Dr. Pierce being my daughter and, well...she's not speaking to me at all. And I wanted to help you, because for you it's still not too late to fix things.''

Alison felt slightly overwhemled and uncomfortable after hearing that. ''Thank you.'' – was everything she was able to get out of her own mouth.

Without even thinking what was her visit to Amelia's office implying, Alison knocked on the door for probably the hundredth time in the last few days. And again noone was there to answer. But this time the door wasn't locked, so she decided to listen to Dr. Webber's advice and wait for Amelia inside.

Sitting in the office and waiting was a real torture and Alison couldn't even get herself to sit in one place. It was nerve wrecking. She didn't think that through. Didn't know what she would say or do, but the one think she did know was that she needed to be there.
Her thoughts were interrupted when suddenly, someone walked in the office in a rush and started speaking without giving a second look at who was actually there.

''Hey Amy, I'm so glad you're back. I promised you I would fix everything. And you see I did. But that's not why I'm here'' – he paused and pulled out a scan and while looking at it he continued with his monologue – ''I need your opinion on this tumor. I think I could maybe go nasaly without opening the cranium.''

Only when slightly uncomfortable wiggling of the person in front of him cought Derek's eye he noticed that he wasn't talking to his sister. ''Ouu, I'm sorry...and who are you?''

Alison felt like she was cought stealing, shocked a little with how this visit was developing. She couldn't predict Derek barging in Amelia's office like that.
''I...I..'' – she stuttered, then swallowed hard – ''I'm just waiting for Dr. Shepherd.''

''In her office?'' – he furrowed his brow.

Instead of giving him an audible answer Alison shrugged her shoulders.

''Does she know you're here?'' – Derek began rising his voice.

Again, Alison answered without a single word with just shaking her head. The words seemed to be stuck in her very constricted throat. She didn't know what could she say to him or how to explain the situation without making it worse that it already was.

''If she wasn't here you shoud've gone and tried again later! But I see you made yourself pretty comfortable in here. How disrespectful!'' – Derek yelled, very irritated with the intern, not thinking at all about why she was there. Or who she was. Truthfully, he couldn't even imagine who she was.

''I'm sorry, I...'' – was all Alison could say. She felt tears collecting in her eyes and was afraid that if she tried to speak and explain everything they would fall without mercy, embarresing her even more.

In that moment Amelia walked in her office, shock on her face and panic in her eyes after seeing who was waiting for her. The scene was even more confusing, because her brother looked very angry and her daughter seemed afraid, embarresed and with tears in her eyes.

''What is going on here?'' – Amelia inquired.

Alison stayed quiet while Derek was raging with sarcasm. '' This little intern found herself so important to let herself in your office.'' – he said to Amelia and then turned to Alison to yell again – ''How disrespectful!''

''Do NOT yell in MY office at MY...'' – Amelia had to bite her tounge not to scream in his face the truth – ''...intern!''

''Yeah, now you're going to defend her?!'' – Derek laughed sarcastically.

''Yeah, I am. She didn't do anything to deserve you screaming in her face. So shut up and tell me why you came here or just go, Derek.'' – Amelia tried really hard not to kill him with her bare hands right then and there.

''I came here for your opinion on a case, but I'm not leaving until we clear this situation.'' – he responded proudly.

''There is NO situation, Derek! And nothing to clear. Get over yourself. I'll come find you later to give you my opinion on that case.'' – Amelia said matter-of-factly.

Derek then turned to face Alison again and asked – ''Why were you here?''

Alison didn't know what to say. She looked at Amelia desperately, her eyes asking for help. Before she had to say anything, Amelia jumped in – ''It's none of your bussines. Now would you mind and leave us alone?''

''Amy?!'' – he exclaimed louder than he intended.

Alison had enough of his yelling and requiring an answer. Something was boiling inside of her and suddenly her throat wasn't constricted anymore, words were finally free to leave. He wanted an answer and he was going to get it, she thought feeling tired of hiding the truth. Before saying anything she looked at Amelia, giving her the smallest smile.

''You really want to know the truth?'' – Alison asked staring bravely at Derek.

''I really do.'' – he responded shortly.

''I came here to find my mother and talk to her.'' – Alison said in one breath. She thought she was quite clear, but Derek looked at her with confusion. And Amelia was shocked. She definetely wasn't expecting that to come out of Alison's mouth. In a way she was happy that the truth was out in the open, but she feared Derek's reaction. And then it hit her. Alison told 'my mother' while talking about Amelia and she couldn't stop that warm feeling in her chest spreading and finally settling in her huge grin.

''I don't understand. You thought you were going to find your mother in Amy's office?'' – Derek was puzzled by Alison's statement.

''Yes. Because...'' – her eyes strayed to meet Amelia's and when she found the encouragement she needed Alison continued more calmly – ''Because this is my mother's office.''

A/N: Aaaaaand the cat is out of the bag. What do you think, how will Derek react? Did you like the fact that Alison was the one who told him? I can't wait to hear your feedback!