A/N I apologize for any mistakes in this chapter. This chapter is currently with my beta reader. But she is sick and I want to give her all the time she needs to feel better. Therefore I've decided to post this chapter now and not let y'all wait for it. As soon as I get the chapter back any mistakes that might be there will be corrected. I hope everyone can understand this. But I think I own her to give her some time because in my eyes she's doing a really great job.

Back to the story. As always keep R+R, I still keep looking forward to receive and read them like y'all are waiting for the next chapter to come.

Chapter 38

Olivia spent an other 15 minutes in the bathroom before she had returned to her bed. Alex and Casey were gone for about an hour and the nurse had come to get the phone 5 minutes ago. Olivia tries to get some rest but she knows that she won't really rest until she knows if she's pregnant or not. Just when the nausea is bearable there was a knock on the door and Abby walks inside.

"Abby! You're early." Olivia says surprised.

"Yeah I'm happy to see ya too, Benson." Abby says sarcastically while she closes the door behind her.

"Of course I'm happy to see you it's just that I didn't expect you to be here so soon. Don't get me wrong but why are you here already, I thought you would be here in about 90 minutes?" Olivia asks.

"I left New York an hour earlier and hit the gas when I could so I cut some time." Abby answers.

Abby walks to Olivia and carefully gives her a hug.

"The nausea went down a bit?" Abby asks as she takes a seat in the chair next to Olivia's bed.

"Yes it did. I was in the bathroom for 15 minutes after I hang up. But it's bearable right now." Olivia answers.

"Chemo is a bitch huh?" Abby asks.

"You can say that again. I do nothing but throwing up which is hell because of my wounds. I haven't slept properly for days so I'm exhausted and my body hurts more because I can't stop puking." Olivia answers.

"Don't they give ya something against the nausea?" Abby asks a bit worried.

"They do but it doesn't help much. Actually I don't think it works at all seeing how many times I go to the bathroom." Olivia answers.

"When are Alex and Casey due to be back?" Abby asks.

Olivia looks at the clock at the wall at her left.

"In about 50 minutes I think. Knowing Alex she will be back a bit earlier then she said she would be." Olivia smiles.

"Of course she is. I'm quite surprised that you managed to get her going in the first place. Hence if you were my wife I think you wouldn't get me so far to leave for 2 hours. On the second hand I think you would have managed it. Knowing you, you probably needed some time for yourself." Abby says.

"Speaking of love, how was your conversation with Casey?" Olivia asks waggling her eyebrows.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."Abby answers, the blush on her cheeks betraying her.

"Oh I think you know exactly what I'm talking about Counselor. I may have a brain tumor but there's nothing wrong with my mind." Olivia grins.

"Seriously, you are interested in her aren't you, Tex?" Olivia asks softly.

Abby looks away for a moment before meeting her friends brown eyes with her own ones again.

"Yeah you're right. I'm interested in her. How did ya know?" Abby asks.

"Besides the fact that you have a thing for redheads like I have for blondes I knew you liked her when she called you to kick my ass and get me on that jet. You were busy and I know that if you didn't like her you wouldn't have come. Let me rephrase that. You wouldn't have come if you weren't interested in her." Olivia answers.

"Damn, ya know me too well, Liv. Now I have to find out if she's interested in me too and it's not exactly the right time to do that now. Besides we have to work together when y'all are back in the City. I doubt that Alex will be back at the office right away when you're home." Abby says softly.

"Well I can help you with that, Carmichael. You don't have to find it out because I know that she's interested in you. She was joking and try to tease Alex when she outed herself. Alex at first didn't notice it but I did. So we've teased her with it. As for you thinking it's not the right time, that's bullshit and ya know it Tex. Don't use my illness to coward back. And should you two get involved as long as you remain professional at work there are no rules forbidding a relationship. So that's not a problem. And as soon as Alex is back working together won't be a problem either. But for the record I haven't told you Casey is interested in you too, you don't know a thing. Entiendo*?" Olivia asks.

"I don't know a thing. Thank you for telling me this though. You're absolutely sure about her?" Abby asks.

"Yes Counselor, I'm sure. She told us that she's interested in you. So go explore what this is or can be and do me a favor don't wait as long as Alex and I did. I can't recommend it to you." Olivia says seriously.

"No kidding it took ya gals more then 12 fucking years to get your heads out of your ass', we all knew it. The only two people who were oblivious to it where the two of ya. I was surprised when I came to the hospital and found out that Blondie managed to tame the wild horse and was about to marry ya." Abby laughs.

"Laugh all you want Carmichael wait until you are in that position yourself. You're exactly like me and if it turns out that Case is the one you want to be with beyond for ever, like Alex is to me you are gonna do the same thing I did. You always said and still do that I'm worth to be loved like Alex does and that I'm not damaged now it's my turn to tell ya the exact same thing. I know that what happened to you makes you think you're not worthy and damaged. And that's bullshit. If I'm worthy and not damaged you certainly are not damaged and worthy. Don't sell yourself short. Give yourself this chance, give Casey a chance to find out what this can be. Don't sabotage it before it even starts. I know it's scary, trust me I know, but it's so worth it Abs. And I'm always here for you if you need to vent your doubts or anxiety or if you need to gush about her and don't anyone else to know it. For once don't listen to that voice in the back of your head." Olivia says.

"Thank you for being there for me right now, Liv. It should be the other way around but I'm glad you said all of this. I know I always can come to ya." Abby says softly.

"Nonsense that's what friends are for to be there for each other no matter what the circumstances are." Olivia says.

"Says the most selfless person I've ever met. I've bought a test for ya. Liv if you don't want to answer I can understand that. What makes you think that the test they took here isn't right?" Abby asks carefully.

Olivia turns her head away from Abby and takes a deep breath for as far as that's possible. She stays silent for a few moments trying to get to courage to tell the Texan what she kept to herself until now.

"Liv, I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that. I just.." Abby starts apologizing.

Olivia interrupts the brunette ADA.

"My breasts... my breasts are sensitive and I feel different. The rest of the symptoms can also be side effects from the treatments. But as far as I know sensitive breasts are not a side effect of Proton therapy and normally there are less side effects with this treatment. Low blood pressure, fatigue and nausea are common side effects and we all know that nausea and throwing up is normal with chemotherapy so the only things that are different are my breasts and feelings. It's very soon to have this so early in a pregnancy but it's possible. That's why I have to take a test. I need to know for sure that I'm not pregnant like the test from this center says." Olivia says softly.

"Am I assuming correctly that Alex and Casey don't know this?" Abby asks gently.

"Yes you are. It's not that I want to hide it from them and not from you I just want to be sure before I crush Alex's world down. So it may be a good thing that you're early. I just needed a few moments to tell you what I've kept inside and to myself." Olivia answers.

"I know you don't want to hide it from Alex and it may crush down her world if it turns out that you are pregnant but not for the reasons you are thinking Liv. It will hurt her because you are hurting. Because she loves you and knows it's your biggest fear. She will stand by you Liv, she won't leave your side. She will be there for you and stand behind what ever decision you make. As will Casey and I. We're all there for you if you are pregnant and support what ever you want to do." Abby says softly.

"Thank you Abs it means a lot to me. I don't what I'll do if I am but thank you anyway. Alright give me the damn test and let's get over with this. Waiting doesn't change a thing." Olivia says.

Abby hands over the pregnancy test to Olivia and the Detective steps out of her bed and starts walking to the bathroom. She closes the door behind her but doesn't lock it. She takes a seat on the toilet and stares at the test for a couple of minutes before she takes it and waits inside the bathroom for the result all by her self.

In the mean time Abby starts pacing around in Olivia's room the moment after the strong Detective closes the door behind her. The time seems to crawl backwards to the lanky Texan instead of forwards. Abby just started considering if she should knock on the bathroom door and ask Olivia is alright when she hears a strange noise coming from the bathroom like something or someone felt on the floor. The Ada runs to the bathroom and yanks the door open. Abby stands frozen in the door opening for a second before turning around and runs outside Olivia's room.

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Abby screams panicked.

A/N2 I'm truly sorry for such an huge cliffhanger. Blame my muse she's responsible for it. She wanted this. And I gave her what she wanted. Y'all can say I'm whipped and maybe I am, but know she is as scary as Alex Benson-Cabot on a war path. I'm sure y'all understand that I prefer to keep her wrath away from me. So again I'm sorry but if I have to choose between my readers angry at me or her wrath against me... I'm afraid y'all be on the short end every time.