"Even if a unity of faith is not possible, a unity of love is."

Hans Urs von Balthasar

The day should have been spent in celebration but in the aftermath of the storm there was work to be done. Most of the damage was cosmetic, but the roads were a mess, and two houses on the cliffs had taken roof-hits.

Red stayed, much to my relief. Intent though she was go go home, she didn't seem to be in a rush. "Why don't you call the pack," she suggested, over a milky cup of coffee that morning. "I'll see about breakfast."

Glancing at the clock, I deemed it an acceptable time to start waking my over-worked pack. Calling Jacob first, I shamelessly foisting gather-the-pack duties on him in favor of nuzzling up against Red where she stood riffling at my cupboards. "Go sit down," she laughed, swatting at me with a spatula. "Bacon and pancakes okay?"

"Feed me meat for I am man," I grunted, perching myself on one of the stools. "What's all this?" The counter top was half covered yellow-paged legal note pads, each filled with slanted, spiky writing.

"Second reparation," she said with a wry little smile. "I've been interviewing the guys, getting there take on what it is to be a wolf. I actually wanted to ask you if you guys have like...a pack doctor, of some sort. I figure you can't just go to any one, but a work-up on all of them would certainly help."

"This is way more then I expected," I told her honestly, picking up the first pad of paper. It was marked 'Embry'. The details went beyond what I had intended; his birth date, phase-date, weight, physical and emotional shifts since the change. Glancing over it, I was surprised to find that Embry's dreams had changed, taking on a more violent nature.

Suddenly Red's pale hand covered half the page. "Those are private," she told me, not unkindly. "I know that eventually they'll be for public record, and the Pack knows that too. But...I promised them..."

"I should know anyway," I replied lightly, laying the notepad back into the pile. There were eight in total, one for each of us, and I wondered what was written in mine. "There really isn't any kind of privacy within the Pack."

Dropping the bacon into the pan, Red turned to me in interest, picking up one of the note pads. "I don't understand," she said, making a note I didn't catch.

"In wolf form we share a pack mind," I elaborated without thought. "It's like instant access to every one's thoughts and secrets. It's almost physically impossible to keep anything from the pack. It goes so far that we share emotions, which is why Pack balance is so important. We need wolves like Embry to balance out wolves like Paul. Same for Quill and Jared. Quill is quick to chase, but Jared is more bent on strategy." I gave Red a moment to write out what I had said before continuing, gathering my words carefully. " Even with the balance, it's easy to fall into the same emotional patterns. We feed of each other. It is possible to keep some things under wraps, small things that don't effect the wolf emotionally. As alpha, I have some control over it, but in emotional situations, or when the thoughts are fresh, it's harder to hide."

She paused, dropping her pen on the pad and turning back to the stove to flip the bacon. She was silent for a moment before turning back to me with huge, alarmed eyes. "So what you're saying is every one saw me naked?"

Shit. "Um...yes." I hadn't even tried to hide it, to be frank, though there was no way in hell I was going to tell Red that. "I mean but it's just as awkward for them as it is for you, so you shouldn't be embarrassed. It's not like you saw them naked."

"I've seen them naked," she reminded me, scowling.

"Then you're even?" I hedged. It was a no-go; even with her deep, calming breaths she looked much like the Red I first met. "Come on Red, don't get upset. I should have told you, and I'm sorry. But to be fair, it is more awkward for them. I mean, you're like their sister, and they saw you in...you know, a delicate situation. It's no worse then Jacob walking in on us."

"Which was bad enough!" She snapped, yanking the box of pancake mix out of the counter. She sucked in another breath, through her nose and out her mouth, fists clenching at her sides. "It's just...now I don't want to look them in the face. A girl's o-face is fucking private, okay?"

Slumped down on my bar stool, I fidgeted. I should have told her, but honestly I just hadn't given it any thought. "I think your o-face is hot," I muttered, staring at the counter top. "Red, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she said, though clearly it was not. "Just...you know, awkward. I just don't want it...effecting how the pack sees me. I mean, I want them to respect me. Oh God, they know about the first time, don't they?" Red blushed brightly, covering her eyes in the palm of her hand.

"No," I assured her. "Well, to the best of my knowledge anyway. Like I said, it is possible to keep some things under-wraps. I was careful not to phase with the pack for some time after our...first time. And the only other wolf that knew was Embry. He chewed me out for it too, and I don't doubt that if any of the other wolves knew, they'd have done the same. You're fine. But um..." I hesitated, looking away. "They do know you propositioned Jacob."

"Oh God," she groaned, yanking one of the lower cupboards open to find a bowl. "Not one of my finest moments, you know? Christ, they all probably think I'm a whore."

"No," I denied. "Red, they would never think that. They love you, okay? And they knew you were going through some shit back then. Anything between you and I, no matter what they see, stays between you and I. If it really bothers you, if you're really worried, just laugh it off. They won't make fun of you for what they saw, or try to hurt you, but if they think you're worried or upset, they're...well. They're going to want to make sure you're okay. That means talking about it." Considering all that they'd done and said for Red before, I didn't doubt that if they thought Red was upset, they'd worry. It was instinct, a drive to protect an imprint.

"You're all a bunch of women," she accused, with a peevish snort. She was mixing the batter with angry circles, powder in her hair, and I almost couldn't help but laugh. "I donot want to talk about it."

"Then don't worry about it," I told her firmly. "Do you want me to tell them that if they bring it up or upset you I'll make them do double patrols?"

"No!" She said, laughing now. She flung a bit of pancake batter at me, as she set a new pan on the stove. "Just...let's pretend it didn't happen."

Nervously, I ran my hand across the counter top. "This um...I mean, it doesn't put you off...you know...entirely, right?"

Giving me an arched look over her shoulder, Red slid the bacon onto a plate. "If you can't say it Sam Uley, you have no right doing it," she replied, in perfect echo of my mother.

"Sex," I said quickly. "It doesn't put you off sex entirely, right?" I had no idea how I could fix it if she did have a problem with it. "I don't want to stop having sex, Red."

She huffed, a breathy laugh escaping her. "No, you big insensitive jerk," she accused. "But...you know, just...can we not talk about it? Yes Sam, I'll still have sex with you. Oh fuck, they can smell it, can't they? So even if they don't see it, they'll know. I need a shower." She flipped the pancake as angrily as she could, smacking the spatula against the pan.

Oh she was going to kill me for this next bomb, but I figured at this point honesty was the best policy. "It wont' matter," I told her, looking at the ceiling. "I came...you know, inside you. You're going to smell like me for the next few days." I had absolutely no problem with that, but I could certainly see how she might. The expression on her face that followed promised nothing good, but I couldn't help but dig a deeper hole. "I um...I hear they make ...you know, girl products for...um...cleaning up there?"

With an angry little shout, she threw the spatula at me, growing only more angry when I caught it on reflex. "Sam! Oh my God, just no!"

"I wasn't...I mean, I get why you're mad but I was just trying to be helpful!" I said, pushing up off the stool and stupidly approaching her. "Red," I wheedled, sighing. A thought occurred to me, and though I hated approaching it like this, I didn't mind the subject changer. "Hey, I um...we didn't use a condom this time either. Do I need to take you back up to Port Angela's?"

"No," Red snapped, shoulders pulled tight as she took the spatula back from me. "I got put on birth control last time I went. But don't think you're getting out of wearing them because I don't want to walk around smelling like you all the fucking time! It's embarrassing."

What was embarrassing was how badly her comment hurt. I must have winced, or shifted, or showed it on my face because she sighed, and leaned her head against me. "I didn't say I was embarrassed of you, just...you know, that every will always know what we've been doing."

"They won't think of it like that," I replied absently. "They won't receive my scent on you as sexual. It's just more of an incentive to protect you, you know?" It made me wonder what they'd be like if I knocked her up.

Insufferable, probably.

Giving me a searching look, Red's eyebrows rose high on her forehead. "You like it!" She accused, poking me with another spatula. "You like me smelling like you."

"Of course I do," I said, denying nothing. "Means your mine. And any werewolf or shifter in the area will know it. " If I said it with a growl, well all things considered, I could hardly help it.

"Really? Huh." Red looked thoughtful as she turned away, flipping another pancake. "I guess smelling like you can't be all that bad. You promise that the guys won't rip on me for it?"

"I'll rip on them if they do," I promised her instead. My ripping would be far more painful and long lasting. "So stop worrying about it. Tell me about your research?" It was a blatant attempt to distract her, and one I thought she might appreciate.

"Well, I've been pulling the guys aside," she explained, moving on to the next pancake. "One-on-one, getting an idea what the shift was like for each of them. It's different, you know, for all of them. The things that trigger phasing, or what helps them get back to human. Paul, like you said, burns hotter and can shift faster. That's one of the reasons I want to get a work up on all of them, see if there's a pattern."

"There's some one on council," I replied, making myself a mental note. "I'll get in touch with them after the clean-up is over. Who have you spoken with so far?"

"Embry, Jake and Paul, though I have notes on the others. Just...stuff I've compared with the other journals. You said something about pack balance before? Well, I haven't found anything like that in any of the journals out right, one of the older ones, the Black Journal, mention passive and dominate wolves working in tandem, in unity. I think he might mean the same thing, or something similar."

Nodding, I smiled at the look of concentration on her face. "Ephirium said the wolves of his generation worked as one. My Pack can, but...it doesn't come as easy as Ephiriam explained. They'll fall in line, but...it take's a lot for them to find the unity I think he was talking about. Last night was the first time, to be honest. It was weird, sort of like being hypnotized. All our thoughts kind of aligned."

"Write that down," she demanded, pointing to one of the note pads. "IWell now that I know about the whole Pack mind thing, it actually makes more sense that it wouldn't come as easily to your pack. Your pack is bigger, after all. With only four minds, it would be easier to keep every one on one track, but with seven or eight? It would make sense that every one would would have a balancing counter part just to cope as a pack at all. If you took any one of them out, it would throw off the balance, the unity."

"Embry and Paul, Quil and Jared," I counted off, letting her pick up.

"You and Jake, and Seth and Leah. Leah is...she's a little hot headed, right? But with her brother to worry about, she'll be more rational. Passive and dominant wolves," she finished, echoing Ephraim words. "Not that I think any of the pack will care to be called passive."

"It isn't anything to be ashamed about," I mused, inwardly filled with pride. IT was odd to have some one outside the pack understand the dynamics, but as I had claimed and so had my brothers, Red was part of us, wolf or not. "I mean, as you said, remove one wolf and the rest of us won't function."

"It also stands to reason that you'll phase in two's," she commented, sliding another finished pancake onto the plate. "From what I've read, all the packs have been even numbers, not that the information goes back far."

"There are other journals." Old ones, written in Quiluete. "I can get them, but you'll need a translator. I can probably help you with most of it, but you might need to talk to Old Mrs. Altera, or Old Quil. " Neither prospects pleased me, but the work Red was doing seemed to make her happy, and at some point that had become my goal in life. Both the Old Altera's knew my feelings on Red being told about the imprint and I could only hope that my stand as their chief and their Pack leader would keep them silent.

Red snorted. "I should probably finish the one's Billy gave me first." She gestured absently at her bag hanging off my coat rack. "I'm almost finished with the Clearwater Journal, then I just have the Altera."

I licked my lips and wondered what kind of stealth it would take to get the journal out of her bad without her knowing. The sound of feet hitting wood tore me from my thoughts just as the Pack pushed open my kitchen door unceremoniously, pouring into my kitchen.

"Morning," I grunted, still eying the bag. "Red made breakfast."

"I did," she agreed. "But it's not done and the first on to even think about touching the bacon before I say go gets hit with a spatula, I mean you Quil Altera!"

tbc