Chapter 23
A/N: Hi, dear readers! I'm still aliveeee :) After a long break here's one chapter full of Alison and Uncle Derek bonding. Hope you enjoy.
After a rough shift and three back-to-back surgeries, Derek finally came home. 'Home' he thought to himself 'Why do I feel so bitter about that word? Well, it's probably not about the word. All these fights with Meredith are exhausting. I don't know what to do anymore.' Derek sighed heavily.
He was so much in his head that he almost didn't notice someone sleeping on the living room couch. Derek stopped for a second trying to remember if Meredith mentioned changing shifts, but he was pretty sure he wasn't missing anything.
When he came closer he saw his little sister sleeping peacefully and to his surprise Alison was on the other side of the couch snuggling the blanket and looking like a true eighteen year old.
Standing there watching them reminded him of when Amelia and he were kids. They waited some nights for everyone (especially their mother) to fall asleep and then they would sneak to the living room and watch scary movies. But almost every time they fell asleep on the couch and their mother would find them in the morning holding each other.
He wanted her to always stay that little, so he could protect her from the scary monsters under the bed or from a movie they watched. But now, Amelia was sleeping on the couch with her daughter and she didn't need him to protect her anymore. Now she was the one who protected. After everything she went through and everything he did to her, his Amy was still there, and he realized that the word 'home' didn't bother him as much as it did just a minute ago.
The sound of his steps woke Alison.
''Good morning. I`m sorry I woke you up. It's very early. Go back to sleep if you can.'' – Derek whispered feeling guilty.
''Good morning. I'm sorry for sleeping on your couch.'' – Alison said with shame – ''I'll be out of your hair in a minute.'' – she finished and literally jumped up.
Alison felt so uncomfortable and didn't know what to say or how to act. She wished Amelia woke up first. And thinking back, Amelia told her both Derek and Meredith would be working and out of the house. It was just her luck for one of them to come home earlier and find her there. For some reason she didn't want to be seen. In a way she still wanted to keep the distance between them.
A good night of sleep brought her back the energy she needed, but didn't give her peace of mind. Her thoughts were still a mess from the day before. It all started coming back to her, the way she broke down and how Amelia handled it like she imagined a parent would, and most importantly she finally said it – she called Amelia 'Mom'. In the moment it felt so very right to say it and by saying it Alison was acknowledging her feelings. But it scared her. It scared her very much.
After a moment of silence, Derek replied her with a smirk – ''Only place you'll be going to right now is to the kitchen, because I'm making us some breakfast.''
Alison, unsure of what to do, didn't move. So Derek took her hand and pulled her towards the kitchen. ''Come along. I can't be a worse cook than Amy. I'm positive about that fact.'' - he winked mischievously.
Alison chuckled while shaking her head. ''Were you two always like that?''
''Like what?'' – Derek turned his head away from the fridge.
''Always trying to better one another, bickering constantly?''
''We do love to annoy each other. That's true.'' – Derek laughed quietly – ''And we are both neurosurgeons and very competitive. Then add to the mix big brother – little sister relationship and there you go, you get Amy and me.''
''You're the only one who calls her Amy. How come?'' – Alison wondered.
''Your grandfather gave her that nickname when she was a baby. So it means a lot to her, even though she'll make everyone think otherwise and say she doesn't like it. I think I'm the only one allowed to call her Amy. Except maybe Addison. And Zola and Bailey now. It's a privilege.'' – Derek looked pensive while talking. He would never admit it, but Amelia's nickname meant a great deal to him, too. And just like her, he felt very protective of it.
''Oh... I didn't know that.'' – Alison paused and took a deep breath – ''I'm sorry for what happened to your dad.''
''It changed us all, especially Amy.'' – he said sadly, sighed and then cheered up in a second – ''But life goes on and here we are today. I'm eating breakfast with my niece. And not just any niece.''
''You're a charmer.'' – Ali smirked and took the toast and tea Derek was handing her.
Without noticing they both chose the same jam and ate in such a similar way that it was obvious from a mile away they were related.
After few minutes spent in silence eating, Derek decided to ask the question which was bugging him since he met Alison. It probably wasn't his place to ask and Amelia definitely wouldn't like it, but he couldn't help himself.
''So, where are you staying in Seattle?''
Surprised by the unexpected question, Alison stuttered for a moment before answering – ''In a hotel close to the hospital. A block away, actually. I didn't know how everything would work out. I still don't... My home is in New York, anyway. This was supposed to be only temporary.'' Alison shrugged, trying to hide her emotions.
Derek looked away, wanting to understand how hard everything what she was going through truly was. ''You didn't think about having another home here with Amy? She really wants to be your mother, you realize that?''
Alison dejectedly glanced at Derek and took another bite of her toast. ''It's not that simple.''- she paused to swallow, then continued sarcastically – ''And she did give birth to me, so logic dictates she is my mother. My living arrangement doesn't change that.''
Right then Derek understood what Amelia meant when she said Alison wasn't ready and that she needed time, but he wasn't good at standing at the sidelines watching his family suffer. Not if he could do something about it. So he decided to push.
''Hey, nobody knows her better than I do. And I'm telling you... She's here to stay.''
Alison sighed defeated. In that moment she understood much better Amelia's frustrations with Derek. ''This is not only about her. I'm a runner too.''
''Well then, welcome to the club and welcome to the family.'' – he smiled, then sobered up and continued seriously – ''Look... I get it. And it's okay. You're still holding your distance. But I can see you love her very much. And I think you're slowly realizing that as much as it was hard for you all these years, it was hard for her too. I made a mistake once by telling her she's fragile, and she made it very clear that she's not. Amy is strong and brave. Don't tell her I said this, but I admire her strength.
Anyway... What I wanted to say is...
It's okay to be proud of her, to love her and to call her 'mom', despite the mistakes she made. We all make them. But calling her 'mom' won't only make Amy your mother, it will make you her daughter too. It works both ways, you see. And if you want to have another home I think it would be great if you moved in with us. It's a big house and it's family. Think about it.''
Alison kept staring for what seemed like half an hour. Everything Derek said made sense. She knew it in her heart. Her love for Amelia was growing every day and she was slowly learning to understand and accept what happened in the past. If she had to admit it to herself, Alison wasn't so sure anymore if Amelia made a mistake by giving her away or not. Everything was so confusing and more complicated than ever before. And on top of all that, Derek talking about home made her wonder if it was possible for her to have a home in this world. She was so far away from her Jean family and that made her feel somewhat disconnected. And these last months have changed her. So, could she ever go back to how it used to be? Probably not, she thought. But where that left her then? Not there, but not here either.
''I... I don't know what to say. It's hard to trust! Even harder to let go.'' – she paused – ''I don't really know what to think or what she would think.'' That was the most sincere answer she could give. To herself or to Derek.
Derek was silent for some time. Giving Alison time to process, but to himself, too. That conversation wasn't meant to become so heavy with emotions. At least it wasn't how he imagined it would go. Alison seemed so strong, but just like Amelia she carried a lot in her mind and heart.
He glanced in the living room and saw Amelia moving and waking up, so he put a huge grin on his face and tried to lighten the mood. ''Why don't we ask her?'' – Derek said a bit louder so Amelia could hear him.
Alison heard Amelia moving in the living room and hissed to Derek – ''Don't you dare say a thing!''
''Ask me what?'' – Amelia almost yelled from the living room.
''I'm warning you!'' ''So you want to surprise her?'' – Alison and Derek said at the same time in hushed voices. Alison grimaced.
''You're impossible, you know that?!''
Derek smirked, enjoying the moment. ''Impossible to say 'no' to. I know.''
Just then Amelia walked into the kitchen and Alison lost the chance to wipe that smug look off of Derek's face with her well thought retort.
''Hey, what are you two whispering about? Interested to share? – Amelia raised her eyebrow in question.
''Ha! Uncle Derek is trying to be funny and it's not working.'' – Alison answered half annoyed, half entertained.
''Uncle Derek? Well, not all Shepherds are gifted with humor and sarcasm. Only the special ones, like you and me, for example.'' – Amelia looked at Derek with her cheeky dimpled smile.
''You wouldn't say that if you knew what we were plotting. Wouldn't she, Ali?'' – Derek teased shamelessly.
''You plotting, Derek? That must be something against me for sure. And so early in the morning. You must be inspired.'' – Amelia grumbled.
''On the contrary, my dearest little sister.'' – Derek walked around the kitchen counter and side-hugged his sister – ''It's going to be a surprise. Isn't it, Alison?''
Alison sighed and shook her head. Then she kissed Amelia on the cheek and started towards the door. ''I have to go. Need to shower and change. Then head to the hospital. I'll see you and talk to you later.'' When she got to the door she turned around and looked at Derek – ''And Uncle Derek...thanks for what you said before. I'll think about everything.'' With that, she turned on her heel and left, leaving Amelia confused and Derek genuinely surprised.
Later that day, Amelia found herself walking around the hospital trying to find an empty room, so she could discreetly examine Dr. Herman's scans. She asked around and soon made herself comfortable in her new case room, as she called it in her mind. It was out of the way and she never saw anyone going there. Perfect for keeping something confidential. And perfect for hiding, too.
Derek and Meredith were at each others throat whole day long, so it was beneficial to stay out of the way. Amelia loved her brother dearly and she knew he wanted to accept the job and go to D.C.. She wasn't so sure anymore that his decision to stay was good for anyone. He couldn't live with his choice so he tortured everyone around him.
That was the exact reason Amelia decided not to show him Dr. Herman's scans. He would take the case away from her and she knew deep down that this was her chance. This tumor was her chance to prove to herself and to everyone else that she isn't only 'The Other Shepherd' and good enough replacement for the real deal, but that she is great at what she does and that she is the real deal.
Astonishment was obvious on Amelia's face while she was going through the scans. She didn't even notice Arizona walking in the room, before she said – ''Hey.''
Amelia glanced at Arizona, still too excited to notice Arizona looking around in alarm.
''There you are. Listen.''
''I got your page. Why are you down here?'' – Arizona paused, and after figuring out at whose scans she was looking she started freaking out – ''What are you doing?''
''You told me to be discreet, so I set up in here. Nobody comes down here.'' – Amelia still didn't realize where the problem was.
''No! No... Take them down!'' – Arizona yelled and started taking down the scans by herself.
''Why?'' – Amelia was thoroughly confused now.
''Give it back. Just give it all back. If she finds me with these she will kill me. Just...forget that I ever told you!''
''I thought you said that everybody who needed to know knew.'' – the question was obvious in her statement.
''Yeah. And that's her. And that's me. And she doesn't know that I know all of this. Okay? She cannot find out that I stole these.'' – Arizona was beyond freaking out in that moment.
''Arizona...'' – Amelia tried to interrupt, but Arizona just kept going without even taking a breath.
''I thought that she was dangerous and reckless and it turns out that she's just...just dying. And she's alone, and she's smart, and she's funny and horny...''
''Arizona, listen...'' – Amelia tried again, but to no avail.
''And she deserves to die however she wants to. And I know what to look for now. And I can watch her. And she deserves to die with whatever dignity she can possibly...''
Amelia finally had enough of Arizona's rambling and she yelled – ''Arizona, shut up and listen to me!'' Arizona stopped. ''I think I can remove this tumor. I think I can save her life!''
A/N: Thank you for reading!