Don't hate me for this chapter... It contains so much sadness. You have been warned. :-(
Important thing to note... This will be yaoi (boy-boy). Don't like? You do not have to read.
Disclaimer- I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the Heroes of Olympus series. (One can dream though) All rights go to the proper parties.
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Percy POV
I was back at camp half blood.
I wasn't certain as to how I knew that's where I was, all I could see where the trees, I just knew. I also knew that I had to get to the ocean, someone was waiting for me. I started walking. I had no idea where I was exactly but I knew if I kept walking straight I would end up at the beach.
After an indistinguishable amount of time I broke through the edge of the trees. I could see the big house in the distance but I didn't care. I only wanted to go see the ocean. I skirted the edge of the forest and made my way to the water. I looked around but I knew I wasn't in the right place. This wasn't the beach I was supposed to be on...
I pondered it for a moment before I realized that I was supposed to be on the Aphrodite beach. I smiled and continued on my way. As the cove came into view I saw someone sitting on the sand. My heart started to beat faster in my chest.
I was excited and nervous to see them. The setting sun was casting everything in shadows. I couldn't tell exactly who it was but I was happy. I kicked off my shoes and walked towards the figure. I knelt down in the sand and wrapped my arms around the person. They jumped and spun around.
It was Nico. I was shocked to see that he had been crying. I raised my hand and wiped away the tears that were on his cheeks.
He pulled away from me and I felt a pang in my chest. "What are you doing here?"
I wasn't entirely certain but my mouth seemed to know what to say. "I'm here for you."
Nico looked away. I was saddened by that, I wanted to see his eyes. "What do you want with me?"
I smiled and reached a hand out to his chin. I turned his head so that he was once again facing me. I leaned my head forward until our foreheads touched. I closed my eyes and kissed him. I felt him hesitate for a moment before he kissed me back. I shivered at the feeling of his cool lips against mine. After a few minutes I pulled away.
I had expected Nico to be as happy as I was, but he wasn't. He had tears streaming down his face once more. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Just tell me what you want."
I frowned and pulled him into my lap. I kissed his forehead and wiped away his tears. My mouth once again started speaking. "What I want? I would think that's rather obvious. I want you... You, you, and only you..."
Nico started to shake his head and pull away but I held him tight, "Why me?"
I smiled, "Why you?" I started to kiss him with every statement. "Because you're beautiful, because you're sweet, because you're compassionate, because you're courageous, because you're powerful, because you're cute, because you're loving, because you're kind, because you're sexy, because you're fearless, because you are you..."
By the time I had finished Nico had stopped trying to pull away and had wrapped his arms around me like he would never let me go. He still had tears streaming down his face but in order to wipe them away I would have to let go of him and I couldn't do that.
He looked at me with broken eyes. I could see the hesitation but he forced himself to ask. "What about Annabeth?"
I had expected her name to hurt me but I only felt a dull throb in my heart. "She still means a lot to me, she always will, but she's not you. I love you Nico, and I won't give you up. Not for anyone or anything in the world."
His eyes widened and I saw fresh tears spring to his eyes. Before I could comment on them I felt him press his mouth to mine. I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of his kiss. I felt a shiver race through my body. He pushed me down so I was lying on my back in the sand.
Eventually we had to break for air but we didn't pull away. I felt him brush a tear off my cheek. I wasn't sure if it was mine or his.
I looked up and saw him smile, wider than I had ever seen before.
"I love you too my sea prince."
I felt his lips on mine once more as my eyes drifted closed.
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I sat straight up, panting for air.
I looked around me. I was still on the ship. I was nowhere near camp half blood. I rolled out of bed and went to the washroom. I turned on the sink and splashed cold water on my face.
That dream had been far too realistic for my liking.
I shivered as I recalled the dream; I could still recall the feeling of his lips against mine. I hope it was only a dream...
I shook my head. I refused to let that be anything but a dream.
I scrubbed my face trying to rid myself of the illusion. That was all it was, an illusion. Still, that dream freaked me out. There was no way that I would ever leave Annabeth for anyone. I had fallen into Tartarus for her. Nothing would ever diminish my love for her...
Even as I thought it, I began to have my doubts. It occurred to me that I was thinking about her but it wasn't causing the pain as it usually did. I tried to think as to why that was but my mind instantly went to Nico.
I felt my heart rate pick up. He was nowhere near me and still he was dulling the pain. I was trying to calm down but I was only succeeding in freaking myself out even more.
Whatever the two of us had together was getting out of hand. I did not love Nico. The fact that I had not only been dreaming about confessing my feelings, but that I had dreamt of leaving Annabeth for him, was filling me with dread.
I tried to calm my mind with the knowledge that it was only a dream. The evidence of that was obvious. Even if I ignored the fact that I supposedly left Annabeth, and that I confessed my love for Nico, Annabeth and I weren't together. She left me. By definition I could not leave someone I am not dating and so it had to be a dream.
The twisted logic actually went a long way in calming me down. I had been nervous that it had been a vision. Demigods do get those from time to time. Once I had ruled out a vision and convinced myself that it was just a dream, I no longer felt on the edge of a panic attack.
I closed my eyes as I slid down the wall. Once I hit the ground I proceeded to bury my face in my hands.
That dream had filled me with guilt. I knew it was illogical but I couldn't stop it. It made me think about how she would feel if she could see me now.
She had left me because it was the only thing she could do, I understood that. So why was I going around flirting with Nico? When it was just pretend I was certain that she would understand, but now? I doubted that she would. Hell, I didn't understand it myself most of the time.
I wished that she was back. I had never needed her as badly as I did at that moment. I felt the urge to try Iris messaging her but I knew that she didn't want me to. She had made me promise that I wouldn't.
I sighed and leaned my head against the wall behind me. That dream had served as a wakeup call. I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. I was only going to hurt everyone in the end. I would hurt Nico by making it seem like I cared for him more than I ever could. I would hurt Annabeth by making her feel betrayed. And I would hurt myself.
I would end up tearing my heart in half. I could already feel that my crush for Nico had grown far stronger. The more I learned about him, the more I found to like in the son of Hades. The pain I felt was indescribable. I closed my eyes tighter and hit my head off the wall. I am such an idiot... I knew that I should have ended it when I had the chance.
I needed to end things with Nico once and for all. The thought of walking away from him now was so much worse that it had been before. It hurt almost as much as when Annabeth had left me.
I grimaced. It seemed that when I had decided to let Nico go I was no longer able to think about her.
I frowned and tried to gather the energy to stand. It served me right that I was in pain. I knew that I was about to break Nico's heart. He had finally dropped his defenses and let me in and I was about to undo all of the work that we had accomplished. I wished with all my heart that there was another way but I knew the truth...
I couldn't be without her. She was going to come back, and I would have to be there with open arms when she did.
It would kill me to walk away now but I knew with absolute certainty, if I didn't break it off with Nico now, it would only be worse when the time came.
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I left the washroom and made my way to Nico's cabin. I felt like I had aged 15 years since I went to sleep. I looked at my watch. Had it really only been 3 hours since I stood here with my arms around him?
It felt like I was lifting 200 pounds but I raised my hand and knocked.
After a minute or so, Nico opened the door.
I looked at him and looked away. If I was to look him in the eye there was no way I would be able to go through with it.
He looked adorable with his messy hair and half closed eyes.
"Percy, what's wrong? Are we under attack?" Nico reached to grab his sword but I stopped him with a gentle hand on his wrist.
"No, the ship is fine. I just... we need to talk."
This instant the statement was out of my mouth all traces of sleep disappeared from the son of the underworld.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw him pale. I forced myself to look at him and I could see the realization in his eyes. He reached out a hand towards me but I stepped back. The pain that I saw flash across his face was almost enough to break my resolve.
"Please Percy, don't do this..."
"I'm sorry. I just, can't... Annabeth."
The instant I said her name the mask that he had worn for so long snapped back into place. All traces of sadness, pain, it all disappeared back into the angry mask that he had always hidden behind.
I saw him take a deep breath and I saw the pain reappear in his eyes for a moment before it disappeared once more. "You don't need to explain anything. I get it. Now if you'll excuse me, I want to get back to sleep."
I opened my mouth to say something, not that I had anything that I could say, but it was too late. He slammed the door in my face.
As I looked at the door, I couldn't help but feel that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.