"Commitment is an act, not a word."

Jean-Paul Sartre

It felt more natural like this, just a progression of kisses and touches and what little clothes we still had on melting away. She was still jittery though, nervous hands painting paths, and I let her, holding her gently so I wouldn't scare her.

"This isn't going to work," she said breathlessly, as my heart plummeted and my balls crawled up inside me in rebellion for their severe mistreatment. "You. Stop it."

"What?" My hands froze on her hips, barely touching her soft skin. "What's wrong? What did I do?" I'd been trying my damned hardest to keep myself in check.

"You're being...passive." She grunted, wiggling down on me. My fingers clenched involuntarily, nails biting softly into her skin. "Stop it. You're not even talking! Normally you run your damn mouth like a porn star and go all caveman on me. You're being weird."

For some odd reason, that made me want to blush, or curl up and die a little. "We haven't had enough sex for you to make those kinds of conclusions." I certainly hadn't been much of a talker until her, not that I'd be bringing that up.

"Last time, you bit me!" She gave me a pointed look. "And then you demanded that I fuck myself on your fingers till I came. You told me I wouldn't,"she flushed, forcing herself to say the words in a mumbled rush. "You told me I wouldn't get your dick till I came on your hands." My dick twitched, hard as a rock between us, and I knew she felt it. She rolled her hips, pressing the soft expanse of her stomach against my dick. "We're just going with it, right? Where ever this takes us? That goes for you too."

Almost hesitantly, as if waiting for her permission or her...her praise, I let my hand slide down the slope of her back, to cup her ass. I gave it a squeeze, and watched her lases flutter. Emboldened, I gripped it tight, earning a squeaked out moan from her as I pulled her tight against me, pushing up into the grind. I slotted my thigh between her legs, propping my foot against the arm of the couch for leverage, and then...then things got good.

Almost suddenly her nervous touches shifted to something a little more desperate, a little more hot, nails scratching, biting into my skin. I smirked against her skin, dragging my teeth along her jaw. "You like it when I manhandle you," I murmured, curling my hand over her hip and pushing her to ride against my denim covered thigh. "You fucking like it."

Fingers tugging at my hair absently, she panted as she spoke. "I don't...I don't not like it," she admitted, breath stuttering from her lips. "Ah fuck." She gasped as I slid my hands down her crack, fingers slipping between her pussy from behind.

"Liar," I growled, pushing up against her stomach for more friction. "You're wet. Just like that, Red, you're fucking soaked."

Red made an unintelligible noise, spreading her legs wider and pushing back on my curious fingers just as I'd told her to do before. God, but she was pretty like this; flush faced and quietly whimpering. I pushed against her, letting my fingers sink slowly inside her heat. She was tight, just like I remembered, but there was a certain promising give to her now.

The feral, cocky thing inside me reared it's head, and I found myself grinning darkly.

Digging my hand into her hair, a fistful of curls tangled into my fingers, I tugged her down so that we were all but nose to nose. "You've been naughty." In no other situation would I ever be caught dead saying naughty, but it suited here just fine. "Re-ed," I drew out her name, like a song on my lips, and gave her hair a gentle tug when she didn't reply. "You've been naughty."

Rebellious to a fault, she jerked in my grip, sinking down to my knuckles in one hard motion. Her eyes went wide as she clenched around me, panting open-mouthed and hot. "What?"

Curling my fingers, I smirked out right when she mewled, back arching. It made her hair pull slightly in my fist, but she didn't protest. She liked it. And God, did that do things to me. "You've been touching yourself." I was assuming of course, geared mostly by wishful thinking. She didn't need to know that.

She blanched, eyes dropping to mine. "You can tell?"

Bingo. "Baby, I know the way your cunt feels around my fingers. Yeah, I can tell." I couldn't believe I'd said that. I knew I'd be mortified by my crude words later, but now...they fueled me. Clenching my fingers into her hair again, I brought her closer, licking a line up her jaw. "Tell me what you think about."

Her hips jerked, thrusting back on my fingers, and I let them, thumb pushing at her clit. She was fucking soaked, sticky-sweet juices damp against my palm. So damn wet for me.

"Us!" She gasped, thighs clenching against my hips. "The...the first time."

That nearly stopped me short. Our first time had been rough. It had been violent and heated and hot, but it hadn't been what she deserved. That she would look back on it fondly confused me. "Why?" It came out like a growl, a rumble not quite mine. It didn't surprise me that my wolf-half would find itself at the surface of my skin when fucking orfighting.

Red moaned as I curled my fingers, pushing them as deep as I could, thrusting faster. She panted, mouth pressed against my shoulder where I held her against me. She pressed back, practically bounding in my lap, fucking herself without any demand to on my part. "You were...you just took it how you wanted. Pushed me down and -oh fuck, oh fuck. You uh..uh, you picked me up and fucked me down on you, like it was nothing. Oh God Sam."

I licked at her skin, teeth scraping across her pulse point. "I bit you," I reminded her, nipping at the apex where her shoulder melted into her neck sharply. Red half-moaned, half squealed, thrusting in to my touch. Her head fell to the side, exposing the column of her throat, in either acquiescence or silent demand.

"Yes."

I opened my mouth to the skin there, and felt her tense in anticipation, skin all but thrumming against my own. Pressing my teeth into her skin, I sucked there instead, pulling a bruise to the surface quickly. I licked it, laughing. "You're too easy, baby."

Releasing Red's hair, I rolled us off the couch, catching her at the waist before she could hit the ground I felt the muscles of her stomach jump against my own as she gasped in surprise, little body trembling. She arched into me, letting my hand slip from the small of her back. "Sam, what-"

Wordlessly, I pushed her thighs apart, and nosed at her soft stomach. She smelled like me, my sweat clinging to the pale skin there, and I growled contentedly, licking from her navel downwards. "Want to know what I think about when I get myself off, Red?" She didn't answer with anything but an incoherent little hiss, knees locking tight around my head. "None of that," I reprimanded, shoving them apart again. "I think about this."

It was a heady thing, her scent and the fact that like everything else, no man had touched her like this. I knew without a doubt she'd panic beneath the pleasure. She'd thing it was dirty, wrong, bad but the perceived wrongness of it would only make it that much better.

"Shit," she hissed through her teeth as I flicked my tongue against her clit, slipping my fingers back inside her. "I don't...I don't-"

"What?" I asked, mouth still pressed against her, the growl of my voice vibrating right though her. "What don't you?"

She swallowed, back arched into a perfect curve up off the carpet as she fisted her hands beside her. "I'm not sure I'll like this," she sputtered out as I licked her again, messy and wet. "Oh hell. I me..mean, I mean you don't have to."

Have to. It was laughable. I wanted to make Red come just so I could lick her clean. I wanted to get her up on her knees, on my face, and go to fucking town on her. Instead I growled, licking at her hard, spreading her wide just to watch her squirm for me. "Want to. Want you to come on my face." I murmured, thumbing at her clit with to much heat, and to much pressure. She hot up across the carpet with a grunted moan. "You want me to stop, baby?" I moved my tongue against her, faster now, sharp, hard licks as my fingers worked inside her, curling deep. Her thighs clenched, muscles twitching as she pushed up against me, grinding. She was so close. "I can stop."

"Nnnnnooo." Her fingers dug into my hair, and I watched from the corner of my eye as her toes curled. "Omigod fuck. Fuck, shit, don't stop. Oh oh oh."

It would never surprise me the way orgasms seem to take Red by surprise, every single time. She came, mouth open, eyes close, flushed straight down to her chest and so goddamn beautiful it shot through me like a spike.

Her fingers eased in my hair, nails scratching across my scalp. It was a different kind of pleasure, but no less intense, and I could have purred. "I think you liked it," I teased, pressing my cheek against her hip. She smelled incredible, my sweat her and her sin. Right there on my living room floor where the Pack so often crashed. The scent would linger, I knew it without a doubt, and I found myself not caring. Let them smell it, let them know. Red was mine.

"I didn't know...I mean, I never thought...guh." She went boneless limp me, and huffed. "Wow."

I pushed her thighs apart and licked her again, grinning when she squealed. "Up," I commanded, pushing to my knees. When she made no effort to move, I gathered her up into my arms, spinning her roughly on her knees, so her back was against my chest. She tumbled forward, caught off guard and still quite boneless. "Easy, easy." I gripped her tight at the hips, nosing my way down her neck. "I'm not done with you yet, baby." She swallowed, throat bobbing beneath my tongue. "We're going to do something new."

"It's all new." She laughed breathlessly, grinding back as my dick slotted between the cheeks of her ass. God, but she was a natural. "What you just did? Totally new."

"Not done with you yet," I echoed in a whisper, before pitching her forward. Throwing her hands out just in time to catch herself, Red grunted in surprise. "Ass up, head down.", She fell to her elbows, hair falling around her in a mess of broke, sweaty curls. Her scent shifted instantly, arousal thicker than before, as her heart pounded harder in her chest. Red liked it.

' You just took it how you wanted.'

I spread her wide with my thumbs, letting my cock graze across everything as I made my way to her pussy. She gasped, back arching hard. "Sam!" Laughing, I buried one hand in her hair, and tugged, drawing her neck out as far as she'd let me. I let my dick slide against her slippery entrance with shallow, teasing thrusts. "Sam!"

To my surprise, though really it shouldn't have, she thrust back hard, impaling herself balls deep on me. She gave a satisfied groan, forehead pressed against the carpet. "Fuck."

Just like that, it was on.

I woke up later moonlight pouring through the curtains of the living room window and the sound of some one standing just outside the front door. There was no knock, just the faint, rythmic thump of a heart and gentle puff-puff of breath.

And the scent of my father, as painfully familiar to me as my own.

Working my jeans back up my hips (again, they'd never managed to be taken off), I pressed a kiss against Red's hair, and pushed myself up off the floor. The old round clock on the wall read half past eleven. What the hell did my father want this near to midnight.

He jerked in surprise as I yanked the door open, glaring down at him through the screen door. "The fuck you want?" I rumbled, voice rough with sleep and general loathing for the man.

Josh crouched quickly, picking something up off my doorstep. It was a plain wooden box, carved by hand; something you'd find at one of the local gift shops littering the coast. "I wanted you to have this."

"So you left it on my porch?" I didn't really give a fuck what it was. I was pretty sure I didn't want it.

He gave me a dry smile. "I assumed you wouldn't want to see my face." Stepping away from the door, he tilted his head to the side, a silent gesture for me to join him.

I pushed the screen door open hard, nearly knocking into his elbow. The air was comfortably cool against my heated skin. "So. What is it?"

"It um..." Josh popped the lid open with his thumb and turned the box to me. "It belonged to your great grandmother. Levi...your great grandfather, he gave it to her when they were married. She wasn't his imprint." I wondered how he knew about that; had my mother told him? Or was he just privy as a Tribe Elder. "But he loved her very much."

Nestled in the box was soft-looking leather cuff , an inch in width, and etched with the same design inked into my skin. A commitment bracelet; it was, more or less, a Quileute wedding ring. "Your mother never wore this." I'd scalp myself before I ever called that harpy grandmother.

"No," Joshua agreed. "This was made especially for the wolves of our line. I should have..." he sucked in a long, shuddering breath. "I should have been there to tell you the stories Sam. To...to prepare you. They told me what you went through, how you didn't know. How no one did. That's my fault...it's...your mom. That's my fault."

Pain, the pain I always felt when I thought about what I'd done to my mother shot through me like a fucking bolt. "No. No, I did that." Sometimes I thought I could still feel the blood between my claws, matted to my fur. The scent of my mother all around me and not the least bit comforting.

"It's my fault you did, Sam." He was firm, more adamant then I'd ever seen him. "If I had told you, if I had just seen you once, I would have known. If I had been there, I would have seen the signs, I could have prevented it. But I wasn't and...and it's all my fault, Sam. It's not yours. It's mine, and I want you to know that."

"I..." I sat down on the steps, and ignored him when he joined me. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. You don't have to forgive me, I don't expect it. You've given me more than enough already. I just...I Just want you to know that it's not on you anymore. That it's not your fault what happened to Helena." I caught him smiling softly from the corner of my eye. "She's still the prettiest damn woman I've ever seen, you know?"

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, maybe to ask him one of the millions of questions I had thought of over the course of my life, the ones I saved for him. What came out instead was not a question. "I hate you so much." It chilled me to the bones to say it out loud, to his face like that, so baldly, so honest.

His shoulders dropped. "I know. I know Sam. I'll never be able to do right by all the wrongs I've done you. Doesn't mean I won't try. I don't know what you want from me."

"You'll be there for the girls?" I looked at him, watched him stare across the Rez. "Go to their dance recitals? Pick them up from soccer practice. Slip dollars under their pillows when they lose their teeth?"

"Everything," He said, earnest and eager. "Got, I look at them and...I can't believe how much I missed out on you. You and Embry. He's an amazing kid, you know?"

Laughing nearly hysterically, I nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"You look out for him?" Joshua asked, looking at me with sad, dark eyes. The same damn eyes I'd seen in the mirror for more years than I'd like to count. "Shit, yeah. Of course you do. God Sam, you're an amazing kid yourself. Chief? I about shit myself when I saw you up there. Thought for sure you'd-"

"I was going to," I admitted, full disclosure. "Red reminded me that if was anyone else though, I'd give them a second chance no questions asked."

"I should thank her," he laughed. "Bit of a spitfire herself. Reminds me of your mom, she does. You're a lucky bastard. Know you won't fuck it up like I did, even if you could. I know I didn't have one goddamn hand in raising you, Sammy. And that's probably for the better. But I want you to know that I am damn proud of you. You're doing real' good by the Tribe, son."

"You still looking for work?" I asked, pushing up off the stairs to stand on my porch awkwardly. He did the same, a million miles shoved into the three feet between us. "We uh...we just got a new contract, little north of Hoquim, but it'll be pretty steady. Some hoity-toity log cabin bullshit. Lot's of handcrafts shit. I could always use another set of hands."

"Really?" He looked as surprised at my offer as I did. "Uh yeah Sam. That'd...that'd be great. Your mom mentioned Nora wanted to do piano next year. I'd...I'd like to help out with the costs. Maybe save up and get her one of those upright things for the house. Just...just give me a call sometime." He pushed the box at me. "For you. For Bella."

Red was awake, sitting pretty in the kitchen when stepped back into the house. She gave me a soft, knowing smile as I pulled her into my arms, box crushed between us. "I'm proud of you Sam."

"He said it was his fault," I murmured, mouth pressed into her hair. Red petted at my chest, like soothing a cat, and it made me smile. "I don't know if I'm allowed to believe it or not."

Looking up at me, she gave me a firm look. "He wasn't wrong. Had he been there for you, it never would have happened. You wouldn't have been fighting with your mother in the first place, and if you had, he would have known to get you out of there, or get you calm. But either way, what happened to your mother was an accident. It was never your fault in the first place."

tbc