(AN) AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well my loyal and enthusiastic readers this is very special surprise for me and others this weekend as you can see I received another draft much earlier then I was expecting from my good hard working editor. Since thanksgiving for many of us Canadians is today this is something worth it being happy about in getting in ones mailbox on turkey day ^^
I also want to say thanks for all the belated wishes I got recently from thought readers whom become aware of when my birthday came and passed over a week ago. I also wish all Canadian readers and writers out there a happy thanksgiving today for you all.
* Warning! Warning! Another fluffy knicky lovemaking scenario at the end the chapter people keep your hormones and nosebleeds in check ^^
Have fun reading.
(*) As always many special thanks to my editor and co-partner in helping finally get this story off the ground and back burner dragonwriter24cmf. So far we have been getting by with this fan fiction by bit by bit with story and with you guy the fans that love reading each new chapter that comes out. Thanks to everyone, I appreciate your support through this 100% everyone. Keep the constructive criticisms, outgoing comments and reviews coming in.
DISCLAIMER: All rights to Trinity Blood was created and © by late Yoshida Sunao, the anime directed by Tomohiro Hirata and produced by the studio GONZO, as well as a manga drawn by Yoshida Sunao's friend Kiyo Kyoujou. All © rights revered by their respective owners. I own nothing except © to this story, it's plot and it's OC's that will eventually show within later chapters.
Warning:This fan fiction is rated (M) AKA Lemon. This story is ABSOULTLY NOT suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 [So if you're under the age limit turn back now, come back when you old enough to read this. I'd rather not get flamed nor sued by parents whom are just looking for trouble in places their underage children should not be looking nor reading for that matter.
This story contains strong explicit adult themes and sexual ones such slight foreplay - as in hand sex, one-sided love, Attempted Rape, Explicit Sex or anything else mild to hard core kinky for that matter!, references to violence, and strong coarse language. If this disturbs you, do not read any further.
Notice: Trinity Blood War Continuum takes place one month after the events from the anime's finale episode twenty four along with some elements, characters and things that will be used and taken from both manga's Rage against the Moons (RAM), Reborn on the Mars (ROM) and addition to some spoilers from stories untold notes left by Yoshida Sunao which he intended to finish off the manga series supposedly. Basically 50/50 will be used on both the anime and manga to those whom are more familiar with manga then others will see this implants as the story develops. Trinity Blood is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the Roman Catholic Church/the Vatican is portrayed as a military and spiritual power. The series also strongly implies major and controversial changes in the Church of present reality, such as women being bishops, cardinals as well as romantic relationships and marriages between members of the clergy. If this disturbs you of form or shape of or on imagination then do not read this story.
Trinity Blood: War Continuum – Chapter 36: – Truth and Choices
Once they'd finished laughing, Havel, Petros, Astha and Ion escorted them inside. Havel stayed by William and Caterina, while Ion and Astha formed an impromptu honor guard for Seth. Petros was practically the Pope's shadow as they strode toward the church, and Esther could feel Abel's presence at her back, and the slight change of the air, all of them alert for danger.
Esther felt mixed emotions. She was overjoyed to be among friends once more, back in her own time. At the same time, she was tired. Part of it was the travel itself. Part of it was the knowledge that she'd come from one war zone, only to fall straight into another. She knew it was different, but still...the thought made her weary, and a little heartsick. She brushed that feeling to the back of her mind. She knew that everyone else was just as tired of fighting as she was. Even if she'd never gone to the past, she would have faced war.
Walking into the Vatican gave her an odd feeling, rather like vertigo. Everything looked so similar to the things she'd left behind, and yet, different. There were more statues on the wall, ones she hadn't seen in the past, but they still looked weathered and worn with nine centuries of time. The walls of the church were older, and she could see where this spire or that one had been added, or modified. She saw what appeared to be a stylized version of Count Matthias, of Istvan, and of Devon. Just the realization made her feel slightly dizzy.
A warm hand touched her shoulder. "Esther, are you all right?" Abel's voice was soft.
Esther nodded. "It's just...well, it's rather strange. It feels like only yesterday that I left here, in the past, and yet...everything is...it's different."
Abel's hand tightened comfortingly. "I understand. It's all right Esther. It will take a little getting used to, I know, but I'm sure you'll be all right. And I'll be right here with you."
Esther nodded, comforted by his words and the knowledge that Abel did understand, at least somewhat. After all, he'd been in isolation for 900 hundred years, and emerged to a vastly changed world. Something in her mind shivered, making her stomach turn over, as she thought of why he'd been in isolation. She pushed the thought quickly away, unable to think too much on it. Despite all her rest on the ship, she was still tired, and, even though she understood what had happened, she felt confused and slightly disoriented.
Their group made its way deep within the Vatican. Then Petros, Havel, Caterina and Alessandro went one way, into the wing designated for the Pope and the Cardinals. William led Esther down another hall to the quarters for important guests. To Esther's relief, the room he and Virgil showed her into wasn't the one she and Lilith had stayed in. It was somewhat larger, a suite with a sitting room, bedroom and a moderately sized bath. William ushered her through the door, then stepped back. "This is where I'll leave you for now. I believe I have a date with my kindly doctor, and I confess, I am feeling a bit fatigued." He smiled. "I'm sure Lord Walsh and Father Nightroad will take excellent care of you."
Esther nodded. "I'm sure you're right, Professor."
He might have said more but Seth, standing beside him, cleared her throat. "It's long past time for you to be sitting down, Father Wordsworth."
"Yes yes." He waved a hand distractedly at her, and gave Esther another smile. "We'll probably be here for a few more days, so take the time to rest and catch up, all right?"
Esther nodded again, and the rest of the group turned away. She waited until they were several paces down the hall, then shut the door. She felt tired, ready to curl up and sleep. She blinked to find both Virgil and Abel standing awkwardly in the sitting room. "Lord Walsh."
He inclined his head. "My own rooms are right across the hall. However, is there anything you need?"
Esther shook her head. "No. I'm just a bit tired, is all."
He nodded. "Very well. I'll lay out a nightgown for you and retire." He stepped into the bedroom, leaving her with Abel.
Abel looked slightly uncomfortable. "Esther..."
"Stay. Please." She remembered months rooming with Lilith, and even more, sleeping with Abel beside her.
Abel blinked. He opened his mouth as if he was going to argue about it, then shut it again. "Yes." His face flushed and he looked away. "I...I wasn't sure...after so long... if you'd still want me to..."
Esther took a few quick steps to his side, and wrapped her arms around him. Abel caught her in his own embrace and held her close. "I've missed you, Abel."
"Yes." His voice was softer. "I've missed you as well."
Virgil exited the bedroom. Esther felt a slow flush trying to creep over her cheeks, at her adviser catching her with Abel, though she knew he hadn't minded before her absence, and he'd said nothing earlier. After so much time away, it felt slightly awkward to have someone else witness their affection. But Virgil didn't comment. He simply offered her a short bow. "Majesty, if there's nothing you need, then I'll retire for the night."
Esther nodded. "I think I'll be all right. Good night, Lord Walsh."
"Good night, Majesty." His pale gaze slipped to Abel. "Father Nightroad..."
"I'll remain here, to watch over her." Despite everything, Esther half-expected Virgil to protest the propriety, but he only inclined his head in acknowledgment, offered her another bow, and left.
Abel held her a moment longer, then released her. "You should get ready for bed." He smiled down at her. "Don't worry. I'll be right out here."
Esther nodded, and slipped into the other room. She undressed quickly, but made sure everything was folded neatly, then slipped into the warm, soft gown Virgil had left for her. The bed was wide, a queen-sized. Esther looked at it a moment, then went to the door.
Abel was leaning against a wall, then lines of his body showing exhaustion as deep as or deeper than hers. His head was bowed, the silver hair falling forward to obscure his face. The dimming fire light from the hearth sparked off the rims of his glasses. Then Abel tilted his head back, his face drawn and weary in the light, and pulled the frames away from his face.
Esther watched him, her heart aching for the signs of how much strain he'd been under. Then Abel's head turned, and he caught sight of her in the doorway. He blinked at her a moment, then straightened. "Miss Esther, did you need something?"
"No." She shook her head. "Just...I'd like to have you by my side, tonight. After all, it's been...it's been a very long time."
Abel nodded. "It has, but I...I didn't want to...it's all right, if you'd prefer to be alone tonight."
"No." Esther stepped forward into the living room and took his hand. "I'd much rather have you with me. Besides...I know you're tired, Abel." Abel blinked, and opened his mouth as if he was going to deny it, but Esther put up a hand to stop it. "You don't have to try and be strong for my sake Abel. It's all right. Seth and Father Wordsworth told me how hard you've been working."
Abel stood still, then his hand came up to take hers and pull it gently from his face. "I...I didn't want to worry you. Not after you've just returned. And I...after so long...I didn't want to rush you." His other arm came around, to embrace her. "I want...you should have some time to readjust to everything."
"I know. And I appreciate what you're trying to do for me. But I missed you, and I'd much rather have you beside me than sleep alone." She stifled a yawn, though she knew he didn't miss it, and leaned against him.
Abel nodded. Then his arm changed angles, and he swept her off her feet. "In that case, you should get some rest." He carried her into the bedroom, and laid her gently on the bed, then hesitated. "Ah...would you like me to pull up a chair, or..."
Esther felt hazy, lethargic, almost too tired to form sentences. She settled for reaching up to take his hand and pull it down beside her. Abel stumbled, as if he hadn't expected the gesture. He remained still for a moment, then gently drew away. Esther watched through heavy-lidded eyes as he unfastened the crucifix he was wearing and set it to the side, then removed his boots. He stretched lightly, then came back to the bed and settled on the edge. He hesitated a moment, and Esther wrapped one hand sleepily around his elbow. She heard a soft, almost inaudible sigh, then Abel leaned back against the pillows, stretching out beside her. One long arm reached out to embrace her, to stroke her cheek gently. Then Abel leaned over and kissed her lightly. "Good night love."
She wanted to tell him good night as well, but she was too tired to form the words. Instead she nestled closer to him, until she could feel his warmth and hear his heartbeat through the cloth of the cassock. Then she relaxed, and fell asleep once more.
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The next few days were busy for Esther and the others. She met with William, Caterina and Seth to discuss the cover story they'd concocted for her absence. Then she and Virgil met to go over all the policies and paperwork she'd supposedly seen and handled during her absence.
That took days. There was so much that had to be covered. Troop movements, alliance details, hierarchy questions. Also supplies for various areas, and compensations to deal with shortages and potential shortages as violence swept over the world. And there were details for the Underground that had to be sorted out. Over the year they had increased their ship production, and made some improvements. Some of the ships had gone to the Vatican, some to the Empire. All the ships they'd produced had outer atmospheric capability, as well as modified shielding and armaments. Esther found herself glad that Virgil took such comprehensive notes. Though it meant more to read, by the time they'd worked through everything she was confident she could answer any questions intelligently. And between them, her advisers had made sure to stay close to her policies, as close as possible. There were a couple issues Esther wasn't sure she'd have dealt with the same way, but even there, it was close enough that she couldn't really argue it. In any case, the matters had all been handled fairly and well.
In addition to the paperwork, there were meetings. Most of them were informal, a short conference with Caterina over lunch, tea with His Holiness, breakfast with Seth or someone else. And evening conference calls with Mary, to discuss the state of the kingdom and the plans for her returning home. Mary was inclined, in terms of security, to simply have Esther return to the Palace, then call a full Council, with perhaps a small court function to welcome her home. Esther knew it was safest that way. She also knew it would do nothing to allay the people's fears, or quell the unrest Rosenkreutz had stirred. The two of them spent long hours discussing alternatives, working on a place so that Esther would be able to visit and reassure her people, without risking her life too much.
There was also a meeting with the Papal Council, to give her greetings, and her thanks for their assistance in protecting her, though it had been Caterina's department. Seth and Caterina arranged a com-call to the Empire, so she could extend similar sentiments to them, as well as a more private thank you to Mirka for handling the paperwork for her.
It was hectic, but in a way, Esther was grateful for all the fuss. It served to ground her solidly in her own time again, and allowed her to get used to seeing all the familiar faces, the people she knew. The first few days were a bit disorienting, seeing Alessandro instead of Grigori, and Caterina instead of the Cardinal she'd been working with, but still...it took her far less time than she'd feared, to settle back into routine. And despite the slight disorientation, it wasn't any harder than when she'd gone from simple Sister Esther Blanchett to Queen of Albion.
Throughout everything, Abel was as close as her shadow. He didn't smother her, but he was always nearby. He sat in with her while she went over things with Virgil, sometimes adding a clarifying point or two. Esther was surprised, until she remembered that Seth had told her Virgil had asked for Abel's help in Albion. Seth had never mentioned what Virgil had asked for assistance with, but most of Abel's statements seemed to be related to issues of defense, or matters in the Underground. It made sense.
For Esther's meetings with Caterina or Seth, Abel would come with her. He remained quiet, sitting by the windows as if on guard duty while they discussed business. Then, when they relaxed, one of the women would draw him into the conversation. Then Abel would join them, usually over food and tea, and relax, smiling in the slightly sheepish, charming manner that Esther remembered.
For other meetings, Abel stood outside the doors, as a guard. When Esther emerged, he met her with a smile, warmth in his voice and the light touches he gave. Just seeing him uplifted Esther's spirits and calmed her mind.
At night, Abel stayed with her. After the first few nights, he stopped sleeping as heavily as he had, but despite being a light sleeper, gradually, the dark circles and strain lines upon his face faded away. And at the meals Esther shared with him, he put away enough food for three or four men his size, and after a week, his priests uniform began to look like it fit properly once more, instead of hanging loose on his frame. The hollows of his cheeks filled out a little, and he looked almost normal, though slightly wearier than Esther remembered him being. Still, that wasn't much of a surprise, and she was relieved that he at least looked healthy once more.
It took two weeks for Esther to get caught up on everything that had happened, and to plan a suitable return to Albion that Mary could agree with. In accordance with Esther's decision to make sure her people knew she was alive and well, and still concerned for them, they planned to make a tour of Albion. Mary suggested a stop in Eire first, both to thank Lady Jane for the military support she'd offered them, and to rendezvous with additional troops, acting as an honor guard. From there, Esther would tour through several of the more populated and prosperous cities, ending about a week later in Londinium. After that, the honor guard would be housed in the Palace for a time, then disbursed. In the meantime, Esther could greet the city, and Mary and Virgil would call a full court to welcome her home.
In the interest of continued cooperation and safety, Seth and her guards would meet them in Albion, as would Father Wordsworth if he was well enough, and Leon. Caterina would stay with His Holiness, to help coordinate matters from the Vatican, if needed, just as Mirka was doing with Baibars in the Empire.
The night before she departed, Esther met Seth and Caterina for a late evening cup of tea. Sister Kate had sent another one of her relaxing blends. Abel, for a change, had been snatched by William and Havel, since the Professor insisted on giving him a quick health check.
Esther sipped her tea in quiet, thoughtful silence. She was overjoyed to be returning home, and hopeful of being able to reassure her people. However, she was also apprehensive.
Caterina seemed content to enjoy the silence, but after a few minutes, Seth broke the quiet atmosphere. "What's up Esther? You're pretty quiet this evening."
Esther nodded. "I suppose I'm a little apprehensive about returning. I have been gone for almost a year after all, and I'm sure the people will have mixed feelings."
Seth shrugged. "They usually do, you know. On the other hand, I rather think you'll be able to soothe them and win them over quite well." She smiled. "You really are good at that, you know. And if you can talk people like Ion around, and get Abel out of his moods, then a few crowds shouldn't be anything for you to worry about."
Caterina nodded. "I've heard only excellent reports of your speech during the first attack on Albion. I'm sure you'll do fine."
Esther nodded again, her thoughts already moving to another topic. "You know, in all the planning, I don't think I heard what Father Nightroad will be doing." Her heart felt heavy at the idea of being separated from him, but still, she knew he had his own duties, and he was critical to the continuing battle against Rosenkreutz.
Seth snorted. "I thought that would be obvious by now, Esther."
Caterina set her tea in front of her. "Abel will be traveling with you. He's been assigned permanently to your side."
Esther blinked. "He has? But I thought...Father Wordsworth said he was in combat..."
"He was." Seth sipped her tea. "But we all knew that was just until we figured out a way to retrieve you. Abel would have gone mad if he'd remained idle, or gone catatonic. Sending him into battle was the only way we could hope to keep him functioning. That's the way Abel is, you know. But now that you're back, Abel might fight, but you're his first priority."
Caterina nodded in agreement. "In addition, it was the consensus of all three Alliance governments that Abel is the best person to protect you. He's made it quite clear, to just about everyone, that he would do anything for your safety." A gentle smile touched Caterina's features. "I doubt there's a noble in the whole of the Vatican, Albion or the Empire that doesn't know that Abel cares deeply for you."
Seth grinned. "That's true. After all, he's gone after you against the Order twice, and he mobilized everyone's defenses after that second time."
Caterina nodded. "That being the case, since you're still a member of the AX, Abel has been assigned as your permanent partner. In regards to his other duties as Vatican representative to the Empire and Albion, he'll simply perform them in conjunction with his duties regarding you, and with the assistance of Lord Walsh, Colonel Spencer, The Earl of Memphis and the Duchess of Kiev." She peered over the rim of her tea cup, gray eyes glittering with gentle amusement. "Unless, of course, you have some objections."
Esther shook her head, relaxing back into the chair. "No. I've no objections at all." They sat for a while, talking of other subjects, then finished their tea, and Seth and Esther returned to their quarters.
Abel was waiting outside the doors. Seth greeted him affectionately. "So? What did the Professor say, Abel?"
He smiled. "Everything's perfectly fine. My metabolism should be returning to its normal levels within the next fortnight, and they are being perfectly well behaved. I shouldn't even require sedation or assistance, not for a while, at least."
Seth grinned. "That's good to hear. Honestly, I thought you were going to collapse for a while there. Then I thought you were going to eat the Vatican stores to nothing." She reached up to embrace him. "I understand why, Abel, but please try not to scare me like that again, at least not for another century or so, all right?"
Abel smiled and hugged his sister back. "Well, I'll try." He met Esther's eyes. "Ummm...speaking of which, I am sorry if my condition alarmed you, Esther."
She shook her head and stepped closer. "It's all right. After all, you were worried about me, and I understand what that's like. Although, I do agree with Seth, that you should be more careful with your health."
Abel nodded. "I'll do my best."
Seth stepped back, and poked her brother with a finger. "You'd better Abel. Caterina and I just told Esther about your assignment as her partner, and I wouldn't want you to worry her again."
Abel's smile remained tugging at the corners of his mouth, but Esther saw the seriousness in his eyes. "Well, I did say I would do my best." He glanced at Esther, and she saw a shade of uncertainty in his gaze. "I do hope you don't mind."
"Of course not." She stepped forward another step, to gently frame his face with one hand. "Never think that I would mind your presence."
Seth made a soft noise, rather like a snort. "Abel, if you honestly can still say things like that, then it's obvious that you need more rest. So why don't you take Esther to her room, and both of you get some sleep. After all, your next week is going to be pretty hectic, you know." She gave them one more grin, then turned and skipped to her own suite.
Esther smiled after her, then turned to Abel, who was still watching her with a warm smile on his face. "We should do what she says."
Abel nodded. "I suppose we should." He held the door open for her like a gentleman. Virgil had already come in to leave a clean nightgown out, and within half an hour, both of them were fast asleep, hands intertwined.
They boarded a ship for Eire the next morning. Esther didn't have much luggage, but there was a suitcase full of clothing, since she'd supposedly been in hiding. Abel had his own suitcase, with a few uniforms and what-not. Surprisingly, Virgil had the largest load, with both clothing and his working supplies, evidence of how long he'd been at the Vatican in his role of a supporting adviser.
The trip was long, but comfortable, and quiet. Esther was too nervous, going over her plans to meet Lady Jane and give a short speech at the main Navy station in Eire, to feel like talking much. Virgil was working, as usual. Abel for his part, seemed content to relax and stare out the window, or at Esther. He had a book in one hand, extracted from his suitcase shortly after takeoff, but he didn't seem to be reading much. Still, Esther was glad to see him relaxing, at least a little.
The landed in Eire in mid-afternoon, early enough for Esther to visit with people, and greet Lady Jane properly. Esther went over her itinerary in her mind. Today they'd meet Lady Jane, tomorrow she'd have a tour of the main naval command, speak with the soldiers and sailors, perhaps even visit the town to speak to the people, if they had time. Then the following morning, they'd board Jane's fastest warship, for Albion.
The captain alerted them to the imminent landing. Esther put away the papers she'd been looking at, and saw the other two doing so as well, then smoothed the creases on the dress she was wearing. It wasn't the most formal gown she had, but it was elegant, well made, and definitely not casual either. Virgil was wearing a slightly dressier version of his normal dark suit, and when she looked at it, Abel's cassock was clearly new, and clearly a compromise between his armored cassock for battle, and the dress vestments he wore for formal occasions.
They exited the ship into the glow of a bright afternoon sun. Lady Jane was waiting for them in full dress uniform, surrounded by a complete Royal Honor Guard. The men snapped to attention as Esther came down the ramp, offering a full salute, while Jane bowed.
Esther returned the salute with a smile and a nod of her head, then greeted her second cousin. "Lady Jane."
Jane smiled, just an edge of flirtation in her eyes and her expression as she rose. "Your Majesty. Welcome to Eire. May I offer you some refreshment?"
Esther nodded. "That would be very welcome, thank you."
Jane nodded and led them to a large building, sort of a cross between a fortress and castle. The guards followed them in formation, until they passed through the gates, then disbursed. At that, Jane relaxed, no longer standing on ceremony as she led them through the halls to a comfortable parlor, where tea and snacks were waiting. Virgil and Abel, being gentlemen, offered the two of them seats, then went to prepare the tea. Jane's dark eyes followed Abel's slim frame. "So then...that's the one? The priest you've fallen for?"
Esther blinked. "I'm sorry?"
Jane smiled at her, cool and confident and still a bit flirtatious. "Ah, there's no need to be shy, Esther...I can still call you Esther, yes? In private, at least?" Esther nodded, and Jane's eyes went back to Abel. "I've heard rumors, you know. The Queen of Albion's mysterious protector from the Vatican. It's not hard to speculate. Besides...I've met him a few times, and the way he talks about you..." Jane smirked. "I am a little disappointed we can't further our own...relationship in that direction, but it would be a shame and a scandal, to not care for a man so passionate." Her glance slid over Abel's frame again. "Honestly, if I were still inclined toward men...well, I'm not, and I still find him incredibly attractive." She gave Esther a rough, slightly overbearing hug. "You've got a good one there, cousin of mine. But...do let me know, if you find your tastes changing." She winked suggestively.
Esther could feel herself flushing slightly, and across the room Abel's ears were a similar shade of pink, which wasn't surprising given his excellent hearing. Then the moment passed and Abel and Virgil both turned from the table, tea in hand. Abel's was its usual mess, more sugar than tea. Virgil had his own cup, and brought over Jane's, while Abel gave Esther the second cup he had. Esther took a sip. It was a strong tea, with just the right amount of sugar and cream. Esther sipped it as her blush receded.
Jane took a few ladylike drinks from her own cup and glanced at Abel. "I see you've recovered, Father Nightroad, from your exhaustion." her gaze went to his unmarked forehead. "Interesting. I'd heard that those tattoos of yours could disappear, but I haven't seen you without them for some time."
"Yes, well...a side effect of my condition, you know." Abel grinned sheepishly. "Now that I've managed to calm down some, they simply aren't as noticeable."
Jane nodded. "And your sister? That charming young lady?" The flirtatious, semi-seductive smile was back on her face. "You know, I'd quite like to get to know her better, Father Nightroad. But we've only met a few times, and it's been all business, no pleasure." The smile widened, just a fraction.
Abel spluttered. "Ah yes, well...Seth is quite busy, you know, coordinating with the Empire. And anyway...I do beg your pardon, my lady, but I'm really not sure she's quite your type."
Jane raised one cool eyebrow. "She's such a winning personality, Father. Quite charming, with a little bit of fire to add interest. Though perhaps, she does look a little young for my tastes."
"Ah...well, as to that, she is ten years younger than I am." The odd flush to Abel's face, and the strange look in his eyes hinted that Jane hadn't been informed of Abel's true age. Or Seth and Abel's true role in the world.
"Yes, and you don't look even to be out of your twenties, early thirties at the best." Jane sighed. "Well, there's time, I suppose."
"Indeed." Virgil had been watching the exchange quietly. He set his empty cup down, and composed himself. "However, I think it would be best if we discussed the business that brought us here, my lady."
Jane made a face. "Always so serious, Lord Walsh. Really, you do need to take some time out for fun." She shook her head. "Ah well, on to business then, shall we, Majesty?"
Esther nodded. "Please."
"We'll have you stay here tonight and tomorrow. This is the main facility for the Navy in Eire, but it's also one of my houses, so you'll be fairly comfortable. Tomorrow, I'll let you have a tour of the ships in port, and the town. There's two ships in right now for repairs and reloading, and I've told the captains to expect us. Then the day after tomorrow, we'll set you across the sea to Albion. Fortunately, it's a short cruise, only a few hours."
Esther smiled. "That sounds fine."
Jane took another sip of her tea and glanced at the clock, and the outside windows. "We do have some time this evening. So, Esther, what would you like to do?" She gave Esther another of her flirtatious winks.
Esther considered. "Well, actually, I've never been to Eire before, but I've heard it's a beautiful place. So, if it's not too much trouble, I think I'd like to do a bit of exploring, just not in an official capacity."
"Oh, like that trip to the races?" Jane's eyebrow rose.
"Well, yes, something like that, I suppose. Really, I just want to get a feel for the atmosphere, and look around a little."
Jane smiled. "Well, we can do that. Just let me change into something a little less formal. And if you want to change too, that would be fine. You do look so darling in blue and white, you know." Esther blushed lightly. Jane rose from her seat. "Father Nightroad, Lord Walsh, will you be coming?"
"Of course." Virgil finished the last of his tea and set the cup aside, as did Abel.
"Well, that's fine then." Jane studied them. "You know, you won't turn heads, Virgil, but if you want to not make a scene, Father, then you're going to have to go in something a little less clerical."
Abel blinked. "Well, I suppose I do have a plain shirt or two in my bag...nothing fancy though."
Esther smiled at him. "I'm sure that will be fine."
Jane smiled. "Well, in that case, let me show you to your rooms. This way." She turned and headed out the door. Abel caught Esther's eye and smiled, then mimed wiping his brow. Esther snickered and followed her cousin.
The rooms Jane ushered them to were comfortable, and their bags had already been delivered. In interests of safety, Jane had given them three connecting suites, so that if something happened, Abel and Virgil could both be through the doors in a heartbeat. Following the Lady's suggestion, Virgil agreed to remain on guard while Abel and Esther changed. Esther took a quick shower, to get rid of the travel dust, then went through her outfits. They were in several different colors, and she found her fingers lingering on a blue and white dress, recalling Jane's words.
'You do look so darling in blue and white.' She did like both colors, colors of the novice and Sister uniforms she'd worm for most of her life. But they also brought to mind memories of the space station, everyone in uniform, and an angry, hurt youth with silver hair. And more memories of the battlefield, where she and Lilith had faced Abel, in his UNASF uniform. She shook her head and bypassed the dress opting for one in a deep green with cream highlights. It wasn't one of her favorites, but she'd been assured she looked pretty in it. She pulled it out, then hurried to get dressed.
Twenty minutes later, there was a hesitant knock on her door. She answered, and Abel came in, dressed in a dark shirt similar in style to his cassock, black pants and his boots. His hair was tied back neatly, and he showed signs of having cleaned up as well. "Are you ready, Esther?"
Esther nodded. "Yes." She showed him the dress. "What do you think? I usually wear red and gold, or blue and white, but I thought I'd try something different, you know?"
Abel nodded, then smiled and captured her hand to press a kiss to the back of it. "I think you look lovely." The warmth of his smile drove away the uneasy memories in her mind. Then his smile turned a touch sheepish. "You know, I suppose we shouldn't keep Lady Jane waiting."
Esther smiled back. "You're right."
What Jane considered informal dress was actually closer to scandalous. Nevertheless, she was polite and friendly as they toured the city. Esther had been slightly concerned that Jane would take them to the rougher, more bawdy sections of town, but she was surprisingly restrained. She took them out past the town, to see 'Eire's rolling hills, the inspiration of poets for time immemorial', then showed them through several of the more interesting locations. A little glass shop were beautiful crystals were made. A historic monument, commemorating an event before the Dark Times. A cozy street corner where a story-teller spun fantastic tales with an intensity that almost made them come alive. And for dinner, they stopped in at a pub where various men and women took turns singing and dancing, uplifting songs that made Esther's fingers tap, or lovely ballads. Despite the crowd inside, it was a very enjoyable evening, and Esther returned to the house feeling extremely content.
She'd just finished getting ready for bed when there was a knock on the side door to Abel's rooms, and he slid inside. "Esther. Sorry to disturb you."
"You didn't. I wasn't quite ready to sleep yet." She smiled, as Abel came forward and wrapped his arms around her in a gentle embrace.
"Hmm. Well, you should probably rest soon. After all, tomorrow's a busy day." His arms held her close, then he spoke softly. "Did you enjoy it? Our trip this afternoon?"
Esther nodded. "I did. It's very beautiful here. Did you?"
"Yes. It's a bit different from my earliest memories of this island, but still...the people are very kind, and it's a beautiful place."
Esther smiled against his warm shoulder, beginning to feel a little sleepy. "It is. You know, I wonder if I could get a copy of those songs they were singing in the pub this evening. I did enjoy them."
"I'm sure you can. And if you can't...well, I can certainly sing them for you, though my pronunciation on some of them is probably a little off. Gaelic was a dying language when I was a boy, I'm afraid."
Esther blinked up at him. "You know those songs?"
Abel smiled sheepishly, flushing just a little bit. "Well, some of them. And I do have a very good memory." Esther snickered, remembering how often he lost his wallet, or his ID. Abel huffed. "Honestly...suffice it to say I can remember most of the words, and I can at least hold a tune."
Esther nodded. "I know you can. And you do have a beautiful voice." Abel's ears turned a slightly darker shade of pink.
They stayed standing together for a few moments longer, then Abel sighed. "I suppose I ought to let you get some rest."
Esther sighed as well, but she let him go. She longed to ask Abel to stay with her, but they weren't in Buckingham Palace, or the Vatican. In the Vatican no one came to check on them, and in Buckingham it was usually Virgil and Mary who came to wake her, and if it wasn't...the maids were discreet, as they'd been trained to be. Here in Jane's castle there was no telling who would come, or when, and the situation was too tenuous for them to take chances with a scandal. She watched as Abel slipped into his own rooms, then took herself to bed.
The next day passed in a whirl of visits and introductions, and short speeches. Esther met with both ship crews individually, and personally thanked the captain who would be returning them to Albion, causing he and his first mate to blush happily. After that, she was taken to see the rest of the sailors and troops that served 'Calamity Jane'. Though there was no way to speak to all of them individually, she did give a short speech, thanking them for their efforts and urging them to remain strong and brave, as well as reiterating how proud she was of them, and how glad she was to be able to serve as their monarch. When she left the podium, the assembled troops gave her a rousing cheer. It was heart-lifting, but as she walked down the stairs of the platform, Abel met her with a gentle, proud smile that was worth more than a hundred cheers of victory.
Afterward, they visited the city, the official places, and took a short parade through the streets. Esther smiled and waved and spoke to random people, glad to see the smiles on their faces. Whatever Rosenkreutz had done and said while she was gone, it hadn't broken her people's strength, or their faith, and that knowledge cheered her immensely, and gave her hope.
Jane was remarkably cool and collected during their tour. Esther had been slightly worried about her ability to handle Jane if she reverted to her 'Calamity Jane' persona. However, the dark-haired noble remained calmly professional during the day. Esther supposed it was because she was in the public eye and in uniform, though she'd known Jane to be somewhat unrestrained even in the public eye, hence the numerous scandals about her. However, she was glad Jane was making an effort to be politically correct for the day.
Virgil said and did little, remaining quietly in the background as he usually preferred to do. However, he assisted her throughout the day, bringing her drinks when she needed them, a helping hand when asked, and silent encouragement.
Abel, for his part, was simply himself. Though he remained at Esther's side as her guard, he was also interacting with the soldiers, sailors and people in town. Several of the sailors and soldiers seemed to know him on sight, and called out greetings, to which he responded with a cheerful wave, and sometimes a name in return. Both captains of the vessels shook hands with him, and Esther heard several comments along the line of 'glad to see the Father's finally looking better' and 'I'll be damned. First smile I've seen out of him. Makes him almost a different chap, doesn't it?'
Abel's smiles were contagious, as was his mix of humor and wry, gentle wisdom. He seemed to know when Esther was feeling slightly nervous or overwhelmed, and was more than willing to divert peoples attention, usually through some simple, or slightly silly act, like asking a nearby store matron for his usual tea, or tripping slightly over something, or even simply smiling and calling greetings, in that slightly inane, harmless way he had. Esther smiled, remembering the first time they'd met, how he had spoken to her the same way.
It was late by the time everything was finally over, and all their belongings were packed. Esther settled into bed feeling relaxed, and very satisfied with how things had gone. Her last thought, before she fell asleep, was hope that it was a good omen for her tour in Albion.
Jane saw them off the next morning at the turning of the tide, escorting them to the dock with a full honor guard. She was smiling mischievously as she saluted, and she gave Esther a flirtatious wink as their eyes met. Esther blushed slightly, but smiled back.
The trip was relatively smooth, the weather calm and peaceful. Thirty minutes after they launched, Esther made her way to the deck to find Abel leaning over the rail, paler than usual. She grimaced in sympathy, then patted his back as he retched over the side. "Are you all right?"
Abel remained where he was a moment, then straightened partially and turned his head to give her a weak smile. "Umm...well, I have to say I have been better."
Esther nodded and patted his back again. "You'll feel better in a while, right?" he nodded glumly, then gagged, slapped a hand to his mouth, swallowed hard, then dry-retched again with a groan. Esther held his shoulder gently as he settled to his knees by the railing. She smiled at him, trying to think of a way to take his mind off how wretched he felt. "You know, I've always been rather surprised that you get so sea sick. I mean...you usually have excellent balance, when you aren't goofing off. And it's not like you're sick all the time. Don't you usually get better fairly quickly?"
Abel sighed. "Well, sometimes. The Professor's actually wondered about that, since most people who are sea-sick take a few days to recover." He swallowed hard again, grimaced, but didn't lean back over the rail.
"Did he have any idea what caused it?" The conversation seemed to be helping, so Esther settled carefully beside him.
"Well, no." Abel sighed again. "Of course, I hadn't actually told him about my childhood at the time." He looked over the waves. "I didn't actually do much boating when I was younger, really. They still had the races and all on the River Thames, but I didn't participate. I did learn to swim, of course, but riding a boat's a bit of a different motion. It's possible that it's simply lack of exposure when I was a boy, I suppose."
He shrugged lightly, but Esther saw the darkness, something akin to pain in his eyes. She touched his shoulder gently. "You look like there's something else bothering you." Abel blinked and met her eyes. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but it might make you feel better."
Abel considered her a moment, then sighed again and leaned his head back. "When I was...when I lived in the Research Facility...well, you probably saw the incubation tube they had there. The Professor commented on it."
Esther thought about it. "You mean the room with the large glass tank? The circular one?"
Abel nodded. "That's it. It was...well, primarily for growing me to term, of course, but afterward...sometimes, they would put me in there, for tests, or if they'd thought of something that could 'improve' me. Once or twice to sedate me when they thought I was getting too temperamental." There was an edge of bitterness to his voice. Abel stopped a moment, then took a deep breath, relaxing his shoulders. "That place...of all the things I hated, I think being stuck in there was one of the worst. Suspended in liquid, it was hard even to tell up from down. I couldn't get any purchase to move. They always had a mask strapped to my face so I could breathe, but I felt like I was choking. And there were monitor wires attached to me, and I couldn't get them off."
Esther felt a rush of sympathy. "That sounds terrible."
"It was, for me at least." He took another deep breath, and relaxed again, his shoulders loosening from where he'd tightened them unconsciously during the description. "They stopped when I was twelve, although that was probably because I kicked a hole in the tank, and it was rather expensive to repair. Besides, they'd all agreed that I had to grow through adolescence more naturally or I'd be 'stunted'." A small sharp smile touched his face. "Being surrounded by water, even like this...sometimes I remember more than I want to, about those days."
"Well, I don't care why they stopped, as long as they did." She clasped his hand, squeezing it gently. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." She looked back over the sea. "It's all right if it bothers you. I think we all have things that trouble us. So it's all right." She glanced over at him. He still looked a little pale, but not nearly as bad, and though there were lines of strain in his face, he didn't look quite as ill. And he hadn't gagged or turned around to throw up for a few minutes. "Are you feeling better yet?"
Abel blinked at her, then frowned thoughtfully. "Actually...yes." He smiled at her, then levered himself to his feet and pulled her to hers. "Thank you, Esther."
"You're welcome." She smiled back, then stretched up to kiss him lightly on the cheek. "Why don't we go inside and get some tea for you?"
Abel grinned. "That sounds quite nice. Although...I'm afraid I'm a bit short of funds, so I hope they don't charge me for it." He looked a little sheepish.
Esther laughed, knowing the sailors weren't charging them anything to travel. She'd seen the respect they had for Abel, and how much they liked him. Still laughing, she took his hand and led him inside.
They docked in Albion just about noon. Mary met them in full dress uniform, with an honor guard and an entourage of minor nobility that would serve as her escort. Esther greeted her warmly, then the nobles by name, making sure to thank each one of them and offer them a hand to shake, or kiss, depending on the customs of the representative. The reception from some was cooler than others, but all of them were respectful, and if some of them were wary, she sensed no honest antagonism, and she hoped she'd be able to win them over.
They spent that afternoon going over itinerary, lodged in a respectable merchant's home that had been offered for Esther's use. She'd felt a bit guilty for taking over someone elses home, but Mary assured her that the merchant in question was out of town, traveling to tend to his business, and was pleased to both offer a service to his Queen, and also to have a reason to have the house well-tended in his absence. The news made Esther feel a bit better. Even better was that night when Abel knocked on her door to inform her that he would be sleeping right across the hall. It wasn't as good as having him with her, but she understood propriety, and it was just like when they'd worked together. The knowledge that he was close enough to respond to anything from a need of a cup of tea to a serious threat relaxed her.
They spent the next several days traveling through Albion. It was a meandering route, partially to throw off Rosenkreutz, and partially because of all the places she wanted to visit. They started doing a circuit of several towns near the coast, then meandered inland before making their way toward Londinium. The pace was reasonably sedate, traveling by car, and fairly comfortable, but it was still exhausting for Esther.
They stopped in several major towns and cities. Most of the nobles in her entourage had been selected because they were representatives of a given area. At each stop, one of them would escort her, telling her of the town's most noteworthy points, showing off production sites, historical places, and oddities that they thought might interest her. Often they boarded in the lord's castle for the evening, then spent the morning exploring before returning to the road.
Esther, for her part, admired everything she was shown, made comments, gave speeches, and greeted people. It was exhausting work, and being in the public eye so much made her uncomfortable still. But she'd known even before leaving the Vatican that her people needed something to lift their spirits and reassure them that she hadn't forgotten them. She also knew that Caterina and Alessandro frequently made similar progresses, for much the same reason. The thought of shy, quiet Alessandro giving out speeches and blessings bolstered her courage. After all, if he could manage it, despite his dislike of crowds and loud noises, and his shy nature, then she certainly could. Still, she couldn't help feeling slightly uneasy.
The fourth night of their journey, she was surprised when one of the guards for her room saluted her, then stepped forward and knelt. "Your Majesty, I know it's impertinent of me to ask but...may I have your blessing?" Esther blinked, surprised, and the man looked up. "I have family in Istvan, Majesty. I've heard about the Lady Saint. I've heard rumors of troubled times, and I'd be honored to have the Lady Saint, and my Queen's blessing."
Esther swallowed hard. She felt rather embarrassed, but she couldn't think of a single way to avoid it. Finally, she laid a hand gently on the man's shoulder. "I pray God goes with you, and watches over you, in everything you do."
The man rose to his feet with a smile, then bowed. "Thank you, Majesty." And without further ado, he opened the door and ushered her inside.
Esther stepped through, then turned. "When you see Father Nightroad, please tell him I've retired for the evening."
The guard bowed again. "Yes Majesty."
Esther dressed in a pensive frame of mind, then stretched out in bed. She wasn't tired, or particularly sleepy, but she did want to think for a little while. She lay in the dark, pondering the guard's words, and her own feelings.
It occurred to her then that this was exactly the sort of thing that had happened when she arrived in Istvan, for her own confirmation of sainthood, and also when she'd arrived in Albion as Sister Esther, before her parentage had become known. And that...that was part of what made her uncomfortable. Despite the necessity of the progression, of being seen and reassuring the people, it reminded her of those times, and of memories she didn't want to think of. When she'd faced Vanessa, nearly gotten killed by Dietrich and the auto-jagers, had seen Mary nearly killed by Cain, and witnessed Abel's death.
Esther sighed and turned over onto her side. They were taking every precaution, and she didn't think anything like that was going to happen now. The progress had been peaceful thus far, and she knew everyone was being very careful, keeping an eye out for any potential trouble. They couldn't keep people from approaching her, and didn't want to, but Mary, Virgil and her guards were wary. And that was too say nothing of Abel.
Esther sighed again, and rolled over onto her back. Mary and Virgil had been as close as her own shadows since they'd docked. Both of them were courteous, and very much her servants, and neither of them had made a move that was even close to inappropriate. Every time they spoke to her it was with a bow and a 'Majesty'. Every time they stepped in for her, it was with backward glances for approval and questions. She knew why they were making such a public show of their loyalty, and their obvious respect as her servants, but she missed the relaxation of mornings at breakfast, or laughter and advice shared over tea, or reports on the desk. She missed Mary's warm smile of familiarity, as her half-sister, rather than the polite smile of a Colonel and noblewoman addressing her monarch. She missed Virgil's easy warmth and support, the man who had spoken frankly to her over her first absence, and hadn't hesitated to take her arm and pull her to her feet in the chapel that first night. The man who had first told her of the Underground and shared its secrets with her. She wanted to be home, where they could all relax. It was odd, that she'd avoided homesickness for over a year in the past, but this close to Londinium, she missed it desperately.
And there was Abel. He stayed close to her, giving her a hand out of the car, and into it, at every stop. When she stopped for a speech, he handed her up to the podium and back down, smiling warmly and encouragingly. When they toured, he frequently took time to speak to the nobles, several of whom knew him by name, and to people on the street, particularly shop owners and the like. He'd regained most of the weight he'd lost during her absence, and no longer had the haggard, haunted look he'd carried the first night.
He dealt with the people he spoke to with a blithe disregard of propriety, rank or anything else, handling them all in that unique way he had, half gentle amusement and rather hopeless foolishness, and half quiet inspiration. Walking through the street in a short parade, he made comments in a stage whisper to whomever happened to be walking with him, usually eliciting smiles, tinged with exasperation though they sometimes were. His presence practically radiated warmth, good humor and comfort, and everyone around him responded to it.
On one hand, Esther was relieved to see him acting so much like himself. She'd been worried that her absence, and the war with Cain would have stripped him of his humor and his laughter, leaving only the lonely, wistful man she'd first seen standing over Gyula's body, or the torn and anguished one she'd glimpsed so often since Carthage. On the other hand...
She remembered the boy she'd left, some 980 years in the past. The lonely, angry confused teenager who'd whispered 'I thought you wanted to help me. To be my friend.' Who had come running into the room at the very last instant as she left, his eyes aching with loss and confusion. She remembered Abel in the streets of Albion, in his UNASF uniform, and the painful isolation of his voice as he whispered to the woman he loved. Abel in the dunes, asking for one night, one hour of peace before battle, a single moment to remember friendship and love, rather than the hate he could no longer summon.
Abel, holding the body of a Terran commander he had been an enemies with, and had cherished and respected for protecting what was dear to him.
Abel, lost in grief and madness, at the death of his beloved and the terrible, world-shattering betrayal his brother had committed against him. Lost in anger and violence, a madness that consumed and destroyed him, and left him with nothing but ashes for nine hundred years.
She loved having him nearby, seeing him smile, hearing him laugh. The warmth of his hands as he helped her. The light touches of affection they exchanged, a brush across the shoulder, a hand holding hers for a moment, and some nights, a light kiss on the cheek or forehead. They were still sleeping in separate bedrooms, for propriety, but he could get away with that, since everyone knew he'd been her mentor, and her partner, for some time. She suspected, from the looks they got, that Jane wasn't the only one who knew it was more than friendship, but she didn't mind that.
Still, the memories made her feel...ashamed, and guilty. She loved him, loved seeing him as he was, as Father Nightroad, but she couldn't help remembering what he'd endured. And more, that she'd let it happen to him, that she hadn't prevented his suffering. That she hadn't even warned him, at least given him time to brace himself for the agony. Rationally, she knew why she hadn't, but still...she felt selfish, and a little cruel, for what she'd done.
Esther rolled over, and tried to push the thoughts from her mind. Now wasn't the time to confront Abel. Not when they were so much in the public eye. It would have to wait until they returned to Buckingham Palace, where they could get together in the privacy of her rooms, or his. She sighed again, and began going over their next stop, and what she planned to say until, finally, she fell into a restless slumber.
She managed to set her disconcerting thoughts of Abel aside during the following days, but she couldn't help thinking of them. She managed to maintain a cheerful expression while speaking to everyone, but she couldn't help feeling awkward, and slightly unhappy around him, the way she had in Carthage, when she'd wanted to know the secret he was keeping, and hadn't been able to ask. Abel, for his part, seemed to sense her mood. She could sense a slight edge of worry to his smile when he spoke to her or gave her assistance, but he didn't ask.
As they came closer to Londinium, she began to see more evidence of the war, and the Contra Mundi's machinations. People were a little quieter, more desperate to see her. Buildings were in worse shape, and tension was higher. Men, though they still dressed in good clothes and greeted her warmly, also carried weapons. Women seemed to require more reassurance. It made her heart ache, for what her people had gone through, and she wished she'd been able to return sooner. But there was nothing to be done about it, so she threw all her attention to offering comfort and promises that she was back, offering kindness and warmth. She shook hands, smiled, even bent down to talk to some of the children she encountered. She knew some of the more proper nobles were practically scandalized, but she remembered being a frightened, lonely child, and it felt right. She saw Mary and Virgil smiling in approval. It reminded her of how she and Alessandro had found acceptance in the Ghetto, by befriending the children.
Finally, they reached Londinium itself. The morning they were scheduled to arrive dawned fair and clear, and only slightly cool. Esther selected one of her prettier, brighter gowns to wear. The top of the car was folded back, so she could be clearly seen. One of the nobles had been elected as her driver, with Virgil, Abel and Mary walking at the sides. Esther got in the car, feeling nervous. The other stops had been fairly informal, but this was the capital. She took a deep breath, caught Abel's encouraging smile, then nodded at the driver, and they were off.
People began lining the street half a mile outside the city. Several were cheering, some held flags. Children and young women threw flowers to line the streets, while the men saluted or waved solemnly. Esther responded with gentle smiles and nods. She'd never been one to wave at crowds, so she kept her hands in her lap.
It was even more crowded when they entered the city. People packed the roads, crowding the barriers the army had put up. They stood in shop doorways, leaned out of windows. Albion banners, some very obviously homemade, dangled from rafters. The flowers were thick enough to carpet the street entirely, and here and there people were calling out things like 'God Save Queen Esther!' and 'Welcome Home, Majesty!'
Esther continued to smile and nod, trying to hide the lump in her throat. She'd hoped not to be met with too much anger and suspicion for disappearing for over a year. She hadn't expected such a warm reception. Her heart was filled with pride, in her people, and relief that they felt so strongly.
Here and there, she saw signs of damage. Buildings that had been battered. Some of the men carried weapons, and from the way Mary's guards were watching them silently, it didn't look like it was a new occurrence. Every now and then she spotted a face in the crowd with bandages, and once a young man with crutches, saluting while two of his friends supported him. It was obvious that Londinium had come under attack at least once, and from the signs she saw, fairly recently at that. The knowledge stiffened her spine with anger, knowing what Rosenkreutz had done to her people.
Finally, they reached Buckingham Palace. There was a full complement of guards at the gates. Beyond that, representatives of every noble family in Albion, all the major traders with influence, and the heads of the military lined the walkway, their dress uniforms glittering brightly in the sunlight. As Esther's car passed the gates, all of them snapped to attention. As suggested, Virgil and Mary did so as well, joining the ranks of their fellow aristocrats and leaving Abel and her driver to escort her up alone. Mary had argued against such light security, even as close to the Palace as they were, until Virgil had reminded her both of Abel's strength, and his fierce devotion to Esther.
Together, they made their way to the steps leading to the main doors of the Palace. The car pulled around in front, and one of the lieutenants in charge of the Palace Guard opened the door as the rest came to attention. Abel handed her out, gently but firmly, and led her to the top of the steps. Once there, she stopped and turned.
Mary and Virgil came forward and knelt at the base of the steps. As one, the rest of the assembled nobles also dropped to their knees, men removing caps, ladies dipping in deep curtsies, every head bowed in respect.
Esther waited a few moments, then spoke, her voice carrying over the silent grounds. "Rise, my nobles." They all did, with the exception of Mary and Virgil. Normally, she would have been upset, but she understood. With all the rumors of their betrayal of her, they needed to make a public show of loyalty, and her trust.
Esther moved forward and laid a hand on each of their shoulders. "Lord Walsh, Colonel Spencer, thank you so much for all you've done for me while I was away. Please know, your efforts are greatly appreciated." At her gesture, both of them rose to stand beside her as her gaze swept over the assembled throng. "As are the efforts of every single one of you. Thank you for your continued work for this country and its people."
Several spines straightened, pride in the eyes of the nobles. Esther continued. "I know many of you have questions, both as to my activities and their meaning. Therefore, in order to quell the disquiet of the people, and to reassure you, I shall be giving a public statement in half an hour, so please...be patient."
There were nods all around. Esther returned them with grave acknowledgment, then turned and strode through the line of saluting guards and into the Palace, Abel, Virgil and Mary beside her. As the walls of the Palace closed around her, Esther found herself breathing a sigh of relief. Something deep inside relaxed at the knowledge that she was finally home. She allowed herself to enjoy the feeling for a moment, before reaching up to unpin the crown she was wearing. She did have a public announcement to make, but she didn't plan to make it in her formal dress.
Half an hour later, Esther stepped out onto the roof Buckingham Palace arrayed in a simple dress she used for working in her office. Her hair was loose, tamed only by a small coronet over her brow. The dress was a cream color, trimmed in red and silver, reminiscent of the sister's habit she'd worn over two years ago while claiming her throne. Virgil stood at one shoulder, Mary at the other, with Abel almost invisible behind them.
Esther took a deep breath and accepted the megaphone that Virgil extended to her. Then she stepped toward the edge of the roof. Below all the nobles, merchants, and as many of Londinium and Albion's inhabitants as could squeeze into the royal garden were present, waiting for her words. Esther swallowed hard. She'd tried hard to prepare a speech, but doing so made her remember all the prepared speeches she'd been subjected to as the Lady Saint. She hated reciting things. She did far better speaking from the heart. She took another deep breath and moved forward, hoping she was at least projecting confidence, even if she didn't feel it.
The people below were silent, waiting. Esther raised the megaphone to her mouth, took one last deep breath and began.
"People of Albion!Thank you; thank all of you for your warm welcome." She steadied herself, straightening her back, looking over the crowd. "I know, these past two years have been a trying, difficult time for all of you. I know, you have faced many difficulties, not the least my enforced absence, caused by the enemies who seek to undermine this country and all it stands for. However...I also know that all of you are brave, strong people. All of you have worked to maintain the peace and solidarity of our mutual home. Even as I have been fighting abroad, working with our allies, I know each and every one of you have worked here, to protect your homes, your families, and your country. It is because of each and every one of you, because of all your effort, that I am able to return to this place. I can only hope that I may continue to try and be worthy of the trust and support that all of you have given this place."
Esther raised her head, letting her gaze sweep slowly over the crowd, lingering as though she looked into every person's eyes. Caterina had taught her the trick, and she found it helpful. "People of Albion, as your queen, I promise you...they will not win!" She let the biting ferocity she felt into her tone, strengthening it. "Our enemies have tried to splinter our comradeship, our alliances, with their rumors. They have tried to make us fear each other, suspect each other. They have attempted to attack us and break us by damaging our homes, threatening our lives and our peace. However...we will not let them. They have attempted to capture me, to take me from you and prevent me from serving you. However...I will not let them! Together, with faith and trust in each other, we can overcome their whispers in the night. With all of you by my side, I know we can vanquish these enemies. Let us unite, and prove to them that we, the people of Albion, are greater than any rumors of discord or threats of violence can every destroy. I ask that you listen to me, and follow me into battle one last time, that we may dispel these invaders, these liars, and destroy them once and for all. For Albion!"
The roar that rose from the grounds at her statement was almost deafening, even from where she stood on the roof. She heard 'Majesty!' shouted out, along with 'Long Live the Queen!', 'God Save Queen Esther!' and other such sentiments.
"You are their Star of Hope." Virgil's soft voice spoke from behind her. "Listen to them, Majesty. They are welcoming their Star." There was a soft pause. "As are we."
Esther nodded, her throat closing around a swell of pride and fierce protectiveness. "I know. And I intend to live up to it."
Mary spoke softly. "I have no doubt you will succeed, my lady Esther."
Esther stood where she was, looking over her people as the cheering slowly faded. Then she smiled, and raised a hand in salute. "For Albion!"
"FOR ALBION!" The roar reverberated off the stones of the Palace. Esther remained until it faded, then turned and went back inside.
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The next few days were so busy Esther barely had time to breathe. She woke early, worked nearly non-stop, and fell asleep late.
There was a convening of the full Court. To them, Esther gave an abbreviated version of her story, telling them that Rosenkreutz had taken hostages, and used them as leverage to abduct her, and that she had been rescued, but it had been decided she needed to be out of reach for a while, to dissuade her attackers and give their allies a chance to build their defenses and launch a counter-attack. The explanation was met with grumbling, however, it appeared that more than one of the assembled courtiers had seen Abel in action, and they weren't nearly as vehement as Esther might have expected.
There was also a full Council meeting. The members of the council received a few more details, though it was still maintained that Esther had been in hiding. However, Virgil and Mary released a limited amount of information about the ARK, namely the Contra Mundi's interest in it as a weapon, its other dangers, and the defense measures that could be further implemented. They already had a partial Aegis Shield to protect Buckingham Palace and parts of Londinium, as well as evacuation routes and safe zones, including the Underground. But Seth and the Professor's work, in addition to retrieving Esther, had gathered more information about the ARK that could be used for more comprehensive defenses.
In addition to that, there was a tour Underground, to assure them of Esther's continued well-wishes there. This time, it was Vanessa who knelt before her, to receive her gratitude and show her loyalty. The people there were just as happy to see her as the people of above-ground Londinium had been.
Three days after she returned, William, Leon, Astha, Seth and Ion arrived. The following day, they held an Alliance meeting. It was an in depth strategy meeting, covering a recap of all the movements each side had made over the past year and planning possible courses of action. They made no definite plans, but Esther felt slightly uneasy, especially when she noted how silent Abel was throughout the meeting.
There were other meetings as well, and in between them Esther dealt with all the formal paperwork that had to be handled. Though Mary and Virgil's efforts had kept it from being unmanageable, there was still a great deal of it to handle. In addition, Esther began procedures to list Mary and Virgil as her formal Stewards in the event of another such emergency. She also listed Mary as her immediate heir, with Jane as the second in line. There was a great deal of protest, but Esther was adamant, and after a great deal of argument from the council and court, they reluctantly yielded.
Abel remained by her side for the majority of the time. Most of the time, he was silent as a shadow. He walked with her in the halls, stayed in the meetings in an out-of-the-way corner, and sat with her at meals. Sometimes, he would speak, to add his thoughts on this or that matter, or place a tentative suggestion, but for the most part, he was simply there, supporting her.
Esther was glad of his presence, but also strangely glad that her schedule left virtually no time for them to be alone together. Abel did always come to bid her good night, when she prepared for bed, but he didn't stay with her unless she asked, and she hadn't asked. She missed his warmth, but still...
She couldn't bring herself to talk about her time in his past, but looking at him only reminded her of all he had suffered, all she had let him suffer. She felt guilty, being so distant with him after everything he had risked for her, but she didn't know how to broach the subject with him, not without reopening the terrible wounds that scarred his soul. She didn't want to hurt him, and couldn't see a way to handle it without causing pain. She tried to push it to the back of her mind, but she felt guilty, and didn't know how to apologize.
Abel seemed to sense her distress. She caught him, more than once, looking at her with a slightly puzzled, somewhat concerned a almost hurt expression. However, he didn't pursue the matter.
Finally, after nearly two weeks of non-stop work and meetings, things began to settle down into something like a normal rhythm. She finally felt able to sleep later than the crack of dawn, and allowed herself to go to bed at midnight, or even a little earlier. After another week, she didn't even feel as fatigued as she had.
A week after things settled, she still hadn't managed to speak to Abel. That night, Esther got ready for bed in a pensive frame of mind. She wanted to speak to Abel, but still...a soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She pulled a night robe over her gown, then turned. "Enter."
Abel slipped into her room. He'd already removed his outer cassock for the evening, and his expression was somber. "I know it isn't a good time, but...well, I was wondering...if we could talk."
Esther nodded. "Of course. It's no problem. I wasn't quite ready to sleep yet." She swallowed. She had a feeling she knew what Abel wanted to speak with her about, and she wasn't sure what to say, or how he would react.
Abel nodded, fidgeting lightly as one hand came up to rub the back of his head in a gesture of agitation. "Umm...well, it's about..." He trailed off, and his hand dropped back to his side, his movements stilling. "Ever since you came back, you haven't seemed, well...I feel as if I'm making you uncomfortable. And...if it's something I did, I'd...well, I'd like to know." He sighed. "I..I know it took a long time for us to retrieve you.,,"
Esther swallowed hard. "No. It isn't that..." Except, in an odd way, she wasn't sure it wasn't.
Abel caught the hesitation in her voice. "Esther...you don't have to try to spare my feelings." He paused a moment. "When you came back...I...because my condition, you were forced to...to give me your blood. I...if it bothered you, I understand."
Esther shook her head, then stepped forward to stop his words. "I already told you, I didn't mind that at all."
Abel swallowed. "Well then...I'm not quite sure what happened. You couldn't...you couldn't possibly have thought I was interested in Miss Joycelyn..."
Esther shook her head again. "No. I know you weren't."
Abel nodded. "Well then, I'm afraid I'm at a bit of a loss. If you don't mind...could you tell me what is upsetting you?" He met her eyes, then reached up tentatively to brush her hair back from her face. "I did promise, you know, to be here for you, but I can't really help if I don't know what's wrong."
Esther swallowed hard, biting her lip. He, of all people, deserved to know. Finally, she swallowed again and turned away from him, turning to the darkened window. "All right." She took a deep breath, trying to still the sudden queasiness in her gut. "Did Seth...did she tell you where...when I was sent to?"
Abel made a soft sound. "Well, she wasn't very specific. Only that it was the past."
Esther nodded, a lump forming in her throat. "It was. Only, it was your past, Abel."
She heard the sharp intake of breath. "My past?"
She nodded. "I was there...on the station, for a few months. The station where you were trained for the Red Mars Project. And after...I was with Lilith, during the Terran-Methuselah War. Seth sent me back, just after Lilith's death."
"Dear Lord." The words were an exhalation, pain and something else she couldn't identify in them. Then Abel's voice, so soft she nearly didn't catch his words. "I...you know, I remember...I never realized though...Lilith didn't tell me it was you. Not even Seth did." She heard him take a deep, shaky breath. "Lord have mercy...what you must have seen, and heard of me...what you must think of me..." his voice cracked on the words. "Miss Esther, I am..."
Esther turned, hearing the apology in his voice, and the anguish. Lines of strain and pain slashed his face, and his eyes were an ocean of regret and terrible shame. "That you saw that...saw me like that..."
She put her hand to his lips. "You don't have to explain, or apologize. And you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's true...I saw some very terrible things, back then. And you...I think everyone involved had to do things they were ashamed of. But...I also saw you, how deeply you cared. In Carthage...you spoke so gently to Lilith, and the way you tried to protect your men from dying from sun poisoning, the way you brought Elissa home and helped protect her tomb from desecration...I think you did the best you could, in a terrible situation."
Abel swallowed. "I'm afraid I don't feel the same way." He looked away from her. "I...I do remember you there..." He paused, his voice soft, hoarse with emotion. "When...when Lilith died, and Seth...she tried to help me...and you, you were there, weren't you?" Esther nodded. "You saw it then...the insanity, the violence in me." His voice was trembling. "I'm...I'm not surprised, that you're avoiding me then. To have witnessed that..."
"No. It isn't that. It was a bit frightening, but I understand, why you would have reacted that way. What happened that day, it must have been terrible for you." Esther swallowed hard, remembering the day Bishop Laura had died, the day he had died, and tried to imagine combining it with her feelings about Dietrich's betrayal. "It must have felt like your whole world shattered."
Abel nodded. "It did. But still..."
Esther shook her head. "I haven't been avoiding you because of anything you did then, or anything I saw. Actually...it's because of what I did." She tried to swallow back the burning in her eyes, but her throat felt too tight to do so.
Abel started visibly. "What you...Esther..." His eyes came back to hers, surprise in them.
Esther held his gaze, feeling tears in her eyes. "I let you suffer. Back then...I knew what was going to happen. I knew...everything. What you endured on the station, what you were going to face on Mars. And I let you go to it, even knowing what would happen, what your own people would do to you, and what would happen to Cain. And then, I told Lilith she had to leave. She left for me, not just to protect the Terrans. She might not have left, if I hadn't asked her to stop you. And everything after that..." Tears spilled down her face, blurring her vision, distorting Abel's expression. "Even knowing what it would do to you, in this time...I didn't stop anything. All the grief you suffered, all the guilt you felt, everything that makes you so ashamed...I let it happen to you. I didn't even prevent Lilith's death. I didn't even manage to warn you, before Cain did such a terrible thing to you." She swallowed hard, feeling the grief and hurt she'd choked down flooding her. "Abel...I am so, so sorry, for what I've done to you."
Her tears were blinding her, but she couldn't bear to wipe them away and see Abel's expression. She didn't want to see his face, as he realized how badly she had really hurt him.
There was silence in the room for a long moment. Then Abel moved. He stepped forward, reached out, and gently touched her shoulder. "Is that why you were avoiding me?"
Esther nodded. "I am...so, so sorry. I know...it was selfish of me, to put you through that, just to preserve my own time line. I'm sure...I'm sure you're probably very angry with me, and you won't ever forgive me, for what I've done to you, what I made you suffer...but I am...more sorry than you'll ever know."
"Nonsense." Abel's voice was soft, but there was no condemnation in it. "Of course I forgive you. Though, honestly, I don't really think there's anything you need me to forgive you for." His hand moved, then gently brushed away her tears.
Esther stared at him, shocked both by his words and the gentle, kind expression on his face. "What...but...after everything, you must be furious with me..."
Abel shook his head, then gently enfolded her into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her. "I will admit, I was angry when you left me, when I was seventeen. I'd just gotten used to the idea of having someone there for me, you know. But I did get over it, after a fashion. Cain, Lilith and Seth tried very hard to support me. As for the rest of it it..."
He paused, and the words were slower, more thoughtful as he spoke. "When Lilith left with you, when she disappeared to Albion with you, I was furious. I have to admit, I honestly hated both of you, for a while there. But...it was Lilith's choice to go. You didn't make her do anything." A small note of amusement, tinged with pain, entered his voice. "She probably would have gone even if you hadn't come. That's just who she was. I think you just gave her an excuse, made it easier for her. And if she hadn't been that type of person, well, she wouldn't have been Lilith."
Esther swallowed, trying to suppress her tears enough to at least talk coherently with him. "But...everything else...I didn't even warn you. I didn't even try to stop you."
Abel nodded. "Yes, well, I'm not sure it would have made much difference if you had." He sighed. "By that time, I didn't really have that many memories of you from the station, and Seth and Lilith neither one told me exactly who you were. I knew you looked familiar, like someone I knew, but I didn't make the connection. And as for not stopping me, or warning me...I'm not sure I would have listened. Lilith tried, after all, and I didn't even listen to her, so I don't think I would have paid much attention to you." His arms tightened around her. "You know, that really does sound rather cruel of me, but..."
"No. I understand." Esther felt herself relax, just a fraction. "But still...I didn't even try, because I was afraid of changing the future, of changing my future. It was selfish of me, and because of that...you suffered so much." She bit her lip. "I could have spared you so much pain..."
"Well, perhaps. But you know, even if you had managed to change the future...there's no guarantee it would have been any better. And I much prefer my current life to what might have happened. If Lilith hadn't left us, and we'd destroyed the world completely, for example. Or if you hadn't helped her, and the Vatican or the Terrans had killed her, instead of giving her a place of honor among them." He stopped for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was lighter. "Besides...if you'd changed the future, I might not have gotten to meet you after all. And that would be a terrible thing."
Esther swallowed hard. "But..."
Abel shook his head. "Truly, Esther. I am not proud of what I have done, and I will admit that I have suffered. However, I tell you this with all of my heart..." He cupped her face with his warm, gentle hand, and brushed the tears from her cheeks again. "There is no future I would rather have, than one with you. Even with everything, I would rather be here with you, than anywhere else."
Esther gulped, feeling her chest tighten and more tears threatening her. "But...if you could have Lilith...if she hadn't died..."
"Then I might have been different. I would have cared for her, yes. But I still do not wish to trade your presence for hers. Not now, not ever. You have nothing to be ashamed of, or feel guilty about. And as I told you before: I am on your side. And I love you, with all my heart and soul, everything I am." He bent and kissed her on the brow, love and benediction and forgiveness all in one.
Esther swallowed hard, then flung herself into his arms, wrapping her own around him and entwining her fingers into his shirt. Tears flooded her eyes and poured down her face again, but this time they weren't tears of grief or regret, but relief. She buried her face in the front of his cassock, feeling his arms embracing her as they had that day on the station just over a month ago. The warmth of him soothed the ache in her heart, banishing the clouds of pain that had haunted her.
Abel held her while she cried. Then, when the tears had slowed and stopped, he handed her a handkerchief. "There. That's better, isn't it?"
She nodded. "Thank you." She sniffled, wiped her face, then leaned back against him. "I was just so afraid that you wouldn't forgive me, for not saving you."
"I understand. It's all right." His arms wrapped around her gently. Then he shifted, picked her up and carried her to the bed, kicking his boots off awkwardly as he did so. He settled them on the bed, leaning himself against the headboard and settling Esther so she was wrapped in his arms, settled comfortably into his lap.
Esther, for her part, was content to lean against him, savoring his warmth, and the feeling of relief that flooded her. She hadn't realized, until this moment, how desperately she had missed his presence.
Her mind drifted over the events of the past year, for her. They still hurt, but knowing Abel had forgiven her made the pain less tangible. The memories of his grief faded a little replaced with her Abel, the Abel of her time, and his gentleness.
Her thoughts wandered to Cain. She'd avoided thinking of him, of the quiet young man she'd met on the station, and the callous monster she'd met 80 years later. But she knew he was still out there, the Contra Mundi. He still had to be dealt with. She bit her lip again, thinking over what she remembered of the Cain she'd meant in the past.
Abel sensed her tension. "Esther?" His voice was soft.
"I'm sorry. It's just...it's Cain." She paused, trying to find words to describe him. "When I was in the past, especially on the station, when you were children, I got to know him a little better. Before this...I wasn't sure, exactly who he was, you know. I couldn't tell what was him, and what was the Crusnik."
Abel was silent, but she felt the tension in his arms as he waited for her to continue.
"When I was in Londinium, before I knew who he was, before he knew I was with you, he seemed so...relaxed, carefree, I guess. Like you, when you were showing Seth and I around. And when I was captured, he spent a lot of time with me, because I was connected to you. Sometimes, he could be so cold, so cruel. But sometimes, he seemed so gentle, so concerned. And he kept saying everything was for you."
Abel sighed. "I know."
Esther took a deep breath to settle her thoughts. "It's just...it's like there are two completely different sides to him, and they're both connected to you. I didn't know before, but when he's being gentle, quiet, and sometimes when he isn't...he's like he was as a child, isn't he?"
Abel sighed again. "He is. Very much like he was when were children. And honestly, he was like that when we were adults too. The way he was in Londinium, when you first met him, before we encountered each other...he was like that. Very scatter-brained sometimes, but quite kind. And chivalrous. He got that habit watching out for Seth."
Esther nodded, and finally found the words to voice the thought that was in the back of her mind. "He...he's still there, isn't he? Even though...even though the Crusnik have taken him over so much, he's still there. Your brother."
Abel was silent a long moment, and when he spoke, there was pain in his voice. "I think so." He hesitated, then spoke again, as if he too was struggling to put his thoughts into words. "Cain was...he was the only one who had no time to prepare, mentally, for the Crusnik. And he was the only one who went straight from his initial activation into a 100 percent fusion. The rest of us...we had time, time to adjust, but he was at a disadvantage. But yes...I've thought, at times, that Cain was...that he was still Cain. The brother I knew." His arms tightened around her, and Esther didn't have to see his face to know the expression of pain and old grief that was etched upon it.
She thought of letting it lie, but her instincts told her that she and Abel both needed this. That Abel needed to give voice to this. "When I was with him it was like speaking of you, it made him more violent, but it also...those were the times he seemed most like himself. I remember, he invited me for dinner once, and he played a song. An old song. He said it reminded him of you."
"'Within You'." Abel's voice was quiet. "He used to play that when I upset him, as a hint." Esther nodded and felt Abel sigh against her shoulder. "The fusion, it pulls you to whatever generates your strongest feelings. For me, it was you, and the need to stop Cain. But for him...I..." His voice broke, then dropped to something just above a whisper. "From what he says, what he said during the first war...I think Cain was fixated on the promise he made to me." His arms clenched around her, seeking comfort, and she wrapped her own arms around his, returning the embrace.
Abel swallowed hard, his chest moving with the motion. "Cain...he did everything he could to keep that promise, when we grew up. That was one of the reasons the commanders of the Red Mars Project gave me such a high rank and security clearance. He asked them to, for my sake, because he knew I hated being over-ruled, or kept in the dark. But I think, when the Crusnik took him...it warped his memories. He's fixated on keeping his promise, but...I think, somehow, it's been warped. He no longer differentiates between that promise, and the things I said in anger that day."
Esther nodded. "Lilith, she said something like that too."
Abel's arms tightened once more. "She did. But I didn't listen. I didn't want to hear that." Esther heard the pain in his voice, and reached up to touch his jaw comfortingly. After a moment, Abel relaxed just a fraction.
They sat in silence for a few moments. Then Esther spoke again, her voice soft. "If Cain's still there...what happened?"
"The Crusnik overwhelmed him. His own personality has been subsumed by them, nearly completely absorbed." Abel's voice was heavy.
Esther grimaced. She remembered Abel, the few times he'd lost control, and how he'd felt afterward. If his own personality now mirrored what Cain's had been before, then the shock of being completely taken over... "Isn't there any way to save him?" she twisted her head back to look at Abel.
Abel's face twisted in pain. "I don't know." He closed his eyes, pain slashing lines across his countenance like wounds. "I can't say for certain. I know he won't listen to me, if I speak to him. And to be honest, the way I feel when I see him, I'm not sure I would listen either. But...I don't know how to free him. I don't know that there is any way. Especially now, with him relying on the Crusnik for his regeneration. To separate him from their control will probably kill him."
Esther felt her throat tighten in response. Much as she hated what Cain had done to her, to Albion, to Lilith and Abel and Seth, her heart ached at the thought of the gentle kind boy she'd met being trapped within a monster. "What will you do?"
"I will do what I must." Abel's voice was deep, rough, broken with the pain that shadowed his face. "The Contra Mundi and the Order of Rosenkreutz must be stopped, before this world is destroyed again. If I cannot save my brother...then I must end this. If the only way to do that is to kill him, and scatter his ashes on the wind, then I will." His head bowed, eyes still closed in grief. "For all our sakes, I will finish him. No matter what it takes."
Esther reached up to touch his face. "I'm sorry. I know it's hard for you."
Abel sighed. "There was a time when I hated him. Sometimes...I'm still angry enough with him for it not to matter. When he threatens you, it's enough. When I let myself go, when I was going insane, after you vanished, I didn't really think about it. But still...now that I know what he went through, what happened to him...when I've come so close to his madness myself..." He trailed off, and bent his head to bury his face in her shoulder. He wasn't weeping, but the sorrow in him was evident.
Esther held him, trying to offer what comfort she could. There was no way she could think of, to alleviate his pain. So she simply held him, and let him hold her.
Finally, Abel sighed and raised his head. "I should let you get some sleep." He shifted out from under her, and started to rise from the bed, but Esther caught his arm.
"Stay with me tonight." She held his wrist, looked up into his eyes. "I've missed you, and I'd like your company, if you don't mind."
A small smile touched his mouth. "Of course I don't mind." He unsnapped his rosary and laid it aside, then settled pulled back the covers. Esther slid under them, and he settled beside her. One hand gently stroked her face. "Thank you, Esther, for speaking with me, and listening to me."
Esther smiled. "You're welcome. And thank you." She took his hand in hers. "For staying with me. For saying you love me."
Abel chuckled. "I do." His longer fingers turned to gently clasp hers. "Rest, Esther."
Esther nodded, and closed her eyes. Within moments, she was drifting off into slumber.
8888888888
Esther woke gasping hours later, from a dream of the past, of the battlefield. Watching Abel and Cain fight, watching Abel as he attacked the ramparts of Carthage. She sat, propped on her hands, taking deep breaths and willing the fear and horror to subside.
Finally, she managed to calm, enough to be aware of the warmth next to her hand. She turned her head, and looked at Abel sleeping beside her.
His hair had come loose as he slept, falling to frame his face and brush his cheeks. His shirt was rumpled, haphazard, as though he too had suffered ill dreams at some point. She was a little surprised that he hadn't been awakened by her nightmare, but she recalled how William had said it would take time for his body to return to normal, and knew he was probably still recovering from the strain, and tonight had been an emotional night for both of them.
She sat up further, studying him in the moonlight. Her Abel. There were lines on his face that his younger self hadn't had, graven there by 900 years of mourning and a dozen years of laughter, love, battle and strife. He was darker skinned, though not much, the effect of the sun he got while traveling. His hair was more disordered, though just as long. The fingers of his hand, next to hers were still faintly calloused. She wondered if he wore his hair long as a sign of defiance against the military life he'd led, or just liked it that way. She wondered of the callouses came from weapons practice or wielding tools, or both. Or simply turning the pages of books and wandering in the garden.
In sleep, Abel's face was relaxed, without the look of anguish he'd worn during their discussion earlier in the evening. Esther studied him a moment longer, then reached out, and gently stroked the hair away from his face, her fingers tracing the lines of his brow and his high cheekbones.
Abel's eyes opened. He started to speak, but Esther put her fingers over his mouth, stilling his words. She didn't want to speak. She simply wanted to touch him, to feel him, to reassure herself that this was her Abel.
She wasn't sure if Abel understood, but he relaxed, rolling onto his back against the pillows. Esther leaned over awkwardly, hesitated a moment, then shifted so she was straddling him. She reached up again, tracing her fingers across the lines in his brow, the arch of his cheekbones and the hollows below them. Then across the straight bridge of his nose, and lower down to trace the lines of laughter and sorrow that bracketed his mouth. Her fingers traced across his lips. Abel pursed his lips, gently kissing her hand, but didn't say anything as her fingers drifted lower, to trace the point of his chin, and then traced the line of his jaw up to his ears.
She'd forgotten that, even in his human form, Abel's ears were slightly pointed. She traced the tips, then down his throat, feeling his pulse beating lightly, quickly, against her fingers. She let her hand rest there for a moment, then slid it lightly along his collar, feeling his breathing pick up a little as she did so.
For a long moment, she let her fingers run over the cloth. But it wasn't enough, somehow. Without much thought, she found herself undoing his collar, then the rest of the fasteners, pushing away the fabric to reveal Abel's torso. She heard him make a sound, deep in his throat, but he didn't stop her, didn't say anything, as she pushed it back from his shoulders.
She'd been half-afraid to find him covered in battle wounds, or scars, in spite of the Crusnik. But he was as whole as ever, the clean lines of his body marred only by the very faint scar from where Cain had struck him down, two years ago.
She let her hands drift upward, to trace the hollow of his throat, then across his shoulders. As always, he was lean, no fat on his frame, his muscles streamlined in smooth lines, rather than bulky. She ran her hands over the lines of his shoulders, then his biceps and triceps. It was awkward, with the shirt. After a moment, Abel raised himself silently on one elbow, and drew it off his arm. He shrugged out of the other sleeve as well, then settled back, watching her silently, making no move as she drew her hands over his arm, tracing the vein at his elbow in a long line down to his wrist.
She'd forgotten the way the muscles in Abel's wrists stood out, the tendons clearly visible. She'd forgotten the long crease of his lifeline, the faint callouses on the heel of his hand. She ran her palms over them, traced the long, supple fingers with her own. Abel's hand closed over hers, squeezing gently before he released her.
Esther traced her way back up his arm, then across the broad shoulders, scooting back a little as she did so. He hands ran across his shoulder-blades, then down, across the muscles of his chest, over his heart and across his breast.
"Esther." It was barely a whisper of sound, but so raw with emotion that it startled her. Esther looked up. Abel's eyes were closed, but his hand, lying next to his head, was clenched, and on his face was an expression of such raw need it took her breath away. Then his eyes opened, and she saw the depths of love in his gaze, love and desperation, and a need that nearly matched her own need to touch him. The sight of it sparked an answering feeling deep inside, sending slow tendrils of warmth from her gut.
Esther stilled. She hadn't thought of making love, and yet, she could feel Abel's desire, and it woke an answering desire in her. Her heart was suddenly pounding, her face burning, her hands feeling like she'd held them too close to the fire.
She held Abel's gaze a moment, then gently ran her hands over his breast again, then down his abdomen. Abel made another soft sound, then relaxed against the pillows, his eyes closing again, though his hand remained clenched in the blanket.
Esther ran her hands gently down his rib cage, lightly stroking the most sensitive spots with her fingers. It surprised her, that she still remembered, after over a year, but she felt Abel's breathing speed up, and her own heart rate increasing as warmth pulsed through her.
She scooted backwards again, across his hips, pausing for a moment as she felt the bulge in his trousers. Then she ran her hands across his abdomen again, fingers sculpting the toned muscles, flexing with every inhalation he took. She traced the line of them down to his navel, and very deliberately caressed him. Abel made another sound in the back of his throat, a strangled gasp, and whispered her name again.
She ran her thumbs over his navel again, then trailed her hands lower, to the waistband of his pants. Her fingers traced the line of his hips, then along the edge of the cloth until she found the button. Then, slowly, gently, she undid the catch, and the zipper, and slid her hands under the black cloth, and the undergarment beneath.
Abel shuddered at her touch, awakening an answering ripple of fire from within her. He was burning hot to the touch, the pale face already flushed.
Moving carefully, Esther scooted back further and slowly drew his pants down his hips, then his thighs, freeing his erection. Abel made a soft sound of relief. Esther scooted back further, then traced her hands down the long line of his legs, over his knees and calves, pulling his pants along until she drew them over his feet, leaving Abel lying naked on the bed.
For a long moment, Esther simply knelt there, looking at him. She hadn't seen nor felt his body in over a year, and her hands were shaking, even with the embers smoldering in her gut. Abel, for his part, didn't move. He simply lay there, as she had done the first time they'd made love, waiting for her next move.
She took a breath, to steady her hands slightly, then ran her hands over his feet, tracing the tendons there was well, copying the movements he had made during their first lovemaking. Then she edged forward, running her palms over his shins, her thumbs tracing along the inside of his calves. Abel moaned softly as she slid forward, caressing the sensitive inner skin of his thighs, then around to caress his hips and buttocks.
Esther ran her hands over his back, then across the lines of his hips once more, stroking forward to his groin. At that, Abel moaned again, then gasped as Esther gently stroked her hand over his erection.
Esther stroked him again, running her hand across his body and then down to caress his balls, and Abel's body jerked, eyes opening wide. "Esther..." The word was half a prayer, half a plea. His hands clenched in the bedspread, sweat shining on his face. "Esther..."
She stroked him again, eliciting another moan as Abel's hips rocked in helpless response. She let her fingers caress his shaft again, then up his stomach to his navel as she shifted position.
Carefully, Esther straddled his hips, her nightgown brushing over his body. Abel shuddered at the feel of silk on sensitive flesh. Still moving slowly, Esther shifted forward, until she was kneeling directly over him, her nightgown encasing him as well as her, and the tip of his shaft brushing her underwear.
Abel groaned as she rocked her hips slightly, brushing the satiny negligee over him. She teased him a moment, then reached under her nightgown and pulled the underwear free, letting it slide across Abel's body as she did so. Abel's hips jerked again in response, shaft rubbing over her bare flesh, exciting her, stimulating her.
She awkwardly removed the garment, getting another moan as it brushed his balls. Then she widened her legs a little bit, shifting until she felt Abel's erection pressed against her entrance. Underneath her, Abel stilled, his face tight with the strain of keeping himself under control.
Slowly, carefully, Esther lowered herself over him. It had been a long time, and it was tighter than she remembered, but the fire that danced through her, the excitement racing through her veins, more than made up for the discomfort. She continued moving, lowering herself over his shaft, until he was completely inside her, their hips nestled together.
Abel's eyes opened, his expression a mix of strain and rapture. He watched as she removed her nightgown, then propped himself on one elbow, both of them shivering under the stimulus as his body moved in hers. One hand reached out, to brush her face. "Esther." He caressed her cheek, then sat up just a little more, pulling her close for a kiss. His hands cupped her face, then her body, showing her much the same care she'd shown him. Then they were on her hips as he leaned back slightly, coaxing movement from her, reminding her of their lovemaking sessions from before.
Esther rocked her hips, feeling Abel's body exiting hers, then entering again, setting up a slow, steady rhythm, guided by his hands, and the answering movements of his body, responding to hers. They moved apart, came together again, varying the depth and strength of both movements. Abel was careful to keep his own actions gentle, holding back when Esther tried to increase the pace, both of them enjoying the slow building fire between them.
Esther felt as if she was burning, drowning in desire and the wonder of his touch. The pleasure felt almost unbearable. Unconsciously, she found herself increasing the pace again. Abel held her, but responded to her speed, his expression a match for what she was feeling. Then in one sudden movement, Esther pushed forward. Abel met her, their hips grinding together as the world exploded around them. When Esther came back to herself, she was gasping, lying across Abel. One of his hands was holding hers, the other arm thrown around her, his eyes wide with rapture as he too found release.
They lay like that for several minutes, propped against the pillows, both breathing hard and too relaxed to do anything more than lay there, enjoying the afterglow. Finally, Abel moved. "Well, that was...unexpected."
"Yes. But I'm glad."
"Quite." Abel smiled, then kissed her again, a long slow gentle kiss. His arms curled around her gently. Then he moved again, shifting to release her, to withdraw.
Esther shook her head and pulled him closer. After so long, she wasn't ready to lose the comfort of his embrace, the feel of him joined with her, just yet. "No. It's all right, if we stay like this." She edge a little closer, then looked up into his face. "Unless it's uncomfortable for you, being like this."
Abel chuckled lightly, brushing the damp hair back from his face, then from hers. "Oh no, not at all. But...well, you know...once I've got my strength back, if we stay like this..." He smiled at her, blushing slightly.
Esther smiled back. "I don't mind. Actually, I think I'd like that." She curled up against him, feeling slightly cold as the heat of desire and lovemaking wore off.
Abel chuckled again, then shifted to pull a blanket around and over them. Then he settled them both against the pillows, and carefully arranged his body so she would be comfortable, pillowing her head on his shoulder as he pulled her close and tucked himself around her. "All right love." Esther smiled at the endearment, her eyes starting to close on their own. Abel laughed softly and brushed the hair away from her face again. "Go to sleep, Esther."
Esther snuggled against him, feeling his body still within her, and smiled, then relaxed and let herself drift into the darkness.
(AN) The events that happened inmanga chapters 39 to 46 that have happened in the time line with Shahrazad Al-Rahman and Archbishop Emmanuelle D'Annunzio have come and gone. I wanted to have Shara become part of the sequel TBAS in AU sort of way and delay her death and meet Esther much later then what the manga showed but it seemed after some earlier discussion with my editor that it would just confuse and twist the story line more in way not to make sense to the original cannon so sorry Shara fans no countess of Babylon coming in the sequel. Adding Judith J. Jocelyn was my editor's idea as sooner in this story then I wanted. I was expecting her to show more on TBAs as well but as with a lot so things I was not expecting to happen until much later she appears earlier in this story instead.
FACT: Both Judith J. Jocelyn and King Ludwig II of Germanicus are second cousins to Esther and Mary. This not something I made up. I have mentioned this before in recent FAQ's in past chapters if you look back into chapter 49 the king and I you'll see that what I say is the truth. Even though it was not officially stated they are blood related cousins to the Queen of Albion and Viscountess of Carlisle (Mary). I once again have my editor to thank for this she pointed this known fact out to me long ago and it's true.
FACT: Abel does get sea sick, it was shown once in the manga so I can assume Abel does not do well when it comes to traveling in the water ^^, he seems to be better on land then sea but I can assume when push comes to shove he does semi overcome it for certain amounts of time lie when it need to fight .