Ailurophile
Author note: I ain't got nothing to say!
Forbidden thought
Tai Lung looked down at Tigress' fatigued form cradled in his arms. Her breaths were long and heavy. He knew she was trying to stop herself from drifting off.
It was late in the evening now, and the moon was up high. He considered that she would want food after everything that had happened. Food would be waiting for him in his room when he went inside. He didn't really want anything anyway. She looked like it would do her good; of course, because she probably hadn't eaten for a while before she'd set foot on his ship. He might have been mistaken the significance, but he was impressed by her strength and skill. He'd definitely missed a lot whilst in prison... During his youth female warriors were very uncommon, were they still? He continued walking towards his cabin. He moved her so that her weight was supported on one arm. He used his free hand to open the door.
Tigress watched him uncomfortably. She had not been handled this way before, and she couldn't stop herself from feeling helpless in her current position. The only reason she allowed it, despite not liking it, was because she didn't have enough energy to stop him. Tai Lung himself didn't appear to be too bothered by carrying her; he looked completely indifferent. Feeling her scrutinizing gaze on him, he looked down at her. Their eyes met for a moment, but she quickly averted her gaze elsewhere, so he simply carried on. Tigress saw that many crew members sat chatting together and eating quietly, so she assumed the crew would take their breaks anywhere they wanted. During her observation, Tai Lung started talking to her. "Are you hungry?" he asked quietly.
Was she? No, she was wasn't hungry; she was starving. But, unwisely, she decided to ignore her hunger and glared at him. The moment after her refusal, her stomach groaned in protest, deciding it should speak for itself. She blushed and looked away from him bashfully. She cursed her stomach for betraying her.
He smiled. "Then... you should eat."
Sighing, she looked at him questioningly. "Where would I eat?"
"Well, I could humour the idea of letting you dine with the crew, but I'm not going to." As if there was any real chance of him doing that.
She could see some of them giving her inappropriate grins. Most had depraved looks in their eyes. She grimaced in disgust. It was plainly clear that she would not be any safer with them.
"Fine," she muttered quietly.
He smirked at her but did not boast. Moving on, he passed all his crewmen and noticed her eying some of his men not bothering to hide the nervous look in her eyes. He knew the crew had not had a woman's touch for a long time, and he had not allowed them to with the short time spent in Hong Kong.
Lowering her to her feet, he put his hand on her back to support her in case she would fall. Opening the door leading into the inner cabin, also being his quarters, he walked in. Tigress followed, and the aroma of food hit her instantly. She honed on a tray of spiced shrimp, decorated with salah. Her eyes almost burned holes into the meal laid conspicuously on the table in the center of Tai Lung's dwelling.
He could see how much she hungered. Looking at her and the meal, he frowned slightly, wondering when she would make a move. "That's for you, you know," he said impatiently.
She didn't even question him and merely sat, then began to dig in.
He watched her eat quietly. She seemed to still maintain etiquette despite her great hunger. She had her eyes closed as she savored the wonderful taste and didn't notice Tai Lung watching her thoughtfully. He wondered how often she allowed herself luxuries like nice food in the Jade Palace. Not that what he'd given her was particularly ritzy, but his curiosity made him wonder, was she this austere in attitude all the time, or was it only in the face of her enemies?
As she ate, she took in her surroundings. The room, overall, was very lavish. It was filled with things that would allow anyone to live comfortably. At the furthest end of the room were eastern styled glass windows. The floor was redwood, and the walls were the same, although they had pretty looking patterns carved into them. There were bits of furniture around the room of you would not usually find in anyone's home. Then there was Tai Lung's large bed. It had a tall canopy holding up transparent red curtains if one wanted more privacy. She didn't know much about ships, but she innocently guessed that it had been designed for a premier individual.
Sparing a glance at him, she noticed the bizarre look he was giving her. She wondered if he wanted to eat as well; it wasn't like she could stop him. This was his home, so he probably would have started already if he wanted too.
"What?" She asked self-consciously.
Breaking his train of thought, he shook his head. "Nothing, I just don't think I've seen a women eat in over twenty years," he explained.
"Can't imagine why," she muttered with sarcasm, but not quietly enough for him to miss. He snorted and moved to sit across from her.
She was glowering at him with uncertainty and her thoughts went back to her second encounter with him. At first, he was cold, cruel even, and then this morning he had made her labor all day with threats of punishment. But now, he was suddenly being polite and even somewhat gracious towards her, feeding her nice food. What was his game? She began to wonder if he had an ulterior motive, and that this behavior right now was him setting her up for some other sort of cruelty.
He could see she was bothered by something, but regarded her with ignorance. "Why the glare, Master Tigress?"
"I don't understand you," she stated. Her eyes were narrowed, showing that she was upset.
He frowned at her. "Then you should speak your mind, not bore holes into me with your eyes."
Growling lightly, she did exactly that. "You've been malicious till now, telling me you'd kill all my friends, making me slave on your ship."
He shifted in his seat, looking somewhat contrite. He did remember saying something along those lines. "Yes, well I can get a little carried away at times, hostility tends to bring out that side of me."
"And what about making me work until I could barely stand?" She snapped.
If she didn't know any better, she could have sworn she saw a flicker of guilt in his eyes. He began his apology. "I know, and I regret it. It is not my desire to have you slave away during your time here. I only-"
Not his desire? Was he trying to insult her? She cut him off crossly. "Only what? You must take enjoyment in having me so helpless. You're a fiend! You know that?" Her anger at him getting the better of her, she shot out of her seat.
She did not believe for a second he was sorry.
He looked unimpressed. "A fiend, am I? Well, I wish I could say I've not been called worse. Really, is that the best you can do?" he jeered. As expected, she judged him. But this was something he knew would happen at some point.
Like a predator storming toward its prey, she moved in front of him. A verbal assault ready, she looked him dead in the eyes, signifying that she was not afraid of him. He was nothing but a hate-filled killer and would not to intimidate her. "All the horrible acts you've committed- destroying the valley and all those homes, attacking those innocent people who had done nothing to you, what you did to Master Shifu- is all unforgivable. Being locked away was merciful weighted to all you've done."
This time, she could see clearly in his eyes, some other emotion, although he looked suppressed. Were it not for the weight in his eyes, she wouldn't have recognised that her words had any effect on him. To her distaste, he began as if reciting some kind of formal address. "My attack on the people of the valley cannot be forgiven, and though you may not believe me, I do regret my actions. I know I will have to live with what I have done until I die, but-" His demeanor fell and his face darkened hatefully. "Whatever I did to Shifu he brought upon himself, and I will never be sorry for that."
He wouldn't stop there, the anger was thick in his voice. "You can call me evil, or 'fiend', as you creatively settled. And, maybe you're right, but you, Master Tigress, do not know me. You know nothing of the circumstances that occurred twenty years ago." The snow Leopard's chair groaned in protest as he rose up.
She knew she wasn't as threatening as she wanted to be, considering that he was over a head taller than her. "You're judgement of me comes purely from what you have been told by tales. You have only heard second-hand accounts. If you going to hate me for what I've done, then at the very least you should know a complete truth. I don't even need to ask if you ever considered that the allegory you have heard was dogmatic at all. You think Shifu is completely innocent don't you?"
She'd admit, she didn't expect any remorse whatsoever; that rubbish he's spewed out couldn't be genuine, but the way he turned it on her threw her off balance. He began talking about Shifu. She felt as though he was attacking her now. "It's always the same excuse... It's not your fault, is it? Throwing the blame on Master Shifu doesn't relieve you of any guilt. He's far from perfect, but everything he did was for you, to give you the best life he could possibly give you. Why do you hate him for that?" she questioned, shaking her head at him.
He snarled, absolutely incensed. Hearing her defend his former teacher just made him so angry, it was irrepressible.
Tai Lung advanced slowly towards her, forcing her to take a step backwards, which made him follow at equal pace. "For me... ugh. Hate does not begin to describe what I feel. I dedicated my whole life to that man. Pursuing what was meant to be the paramount achievement. He told me so. That scroll, he said, would be the making of me. It was our dream, and I went for it, for him. To this day, I don't know why. Is that hate...? And in return for giving nothing less than the sacrifice of my body and the commitment of my soul, he gave me NOTHING! Nothing but betrayal and abandonment! Is that what you would call hate? If so, then do you really need to question why I feel the way I do? I've thought about this for twenty years, and the influence of my efforts eluded me for a long time."
His face became blank, which somehow unnerved more than his rage. "In the end, though, I knew that my indoctrination was meaningless. He used me! If he couldn't do it then he'd make someone who could." Indoctrination was a powerful word for it, and yet for some reason what he was saying resonated with her.
She swallowed. Her back hit the wall.
He saw himself as the victim. She probably would have, too, but rampaging through the village? What did he expect? She would never dream of it in a million years. How could Shifu have known he wasn't the Dragon Warrior? It couldn't have been exactly how Tai Lung beheld.
Bracing his hands on either side of her, he blocked her escape and moved closer till his face was a few inches away from her own. A deep frowned emerged. "What confuses me is why you, of all people, would try and defend him."
She frowned at him and tried not to look intimidated. "What... do you mean?"
He smiled wickedly. "Don't act ignorant. I know all about you. Shifu taking in another child- after me. I doubt he treated you right." He attempted to touch her cheek, but she withdrew from it quickly.
She looked away from him in contempt. Her words came out in a harsh whisper. "You don't know anything." She repeats him own words. "You don't know me."
He ignored her and continued to speak. "Clearly he hasn't, otherwise why react so strongly."
"I know more than you think." The look on her face said she disagreed, but he didn't care. "I mean, before he turned his back on me— the moment Oogway denied me the Dragon Scroll, he would only bless me with the rarity of his affections when I achieved something in training." He brought his face close to hers. "I heard that he turned into a reclusive bitter man, never smiling, never laughing. Tell me... Is this how he is with you?"
"Just stop," she ordered. She looked around seeking an escape from this.
She wanted none of it. Tigress didn't need him of all people to tell her things she already knew. She remembered everything, and how could she forget, it was her youth and it molded her into who she was today. He had never even praised her once. When Shifu adopted her, she had gained what she'd had during his visits, not a father, but a teacher. She wasn't an idiot, but at the time she thought that she needed to earn his attention, it was the sentimentality of a child. It didn't matter now, though.
His mood took a sudden downward shift. Each word carried a twisted disdain behind it. "I know Shifu, and if I'm right then I imagine you had it rough. You see with me it was the training that brought me approval... I bet you had none of that." She opened her mouth, but no response came. "Your wide eyes and lack words says it all. I can see it now... No matter how hard you try to gain favor, no matter what you do, he ignores how good you are- He demands more. Your form is perfect... but! He watches quietly for it and when sees it, it's ALL he sees! The weakness, I'm I right?" Every callous word, every look of disappointment- It all came rushing back. She always let him down, and now she had done it again by being defeated by his son.
The distaste in his voice became much thicker. "I pity you, you know. For one day I had the recognition I wanted, oh yes I got there. It took the very breaking of my bones and sweating blood to please him. Naturally I took it all in—only forcing my body to work harder and causing myself even more pain. Then, when Oogway said no, that was the last I'd see of it. That's only the physical part, which I'm sure you have as much experience in as I do. For you, though, it must have felt like you had never left that orphanage, maybe worse."
She shook her head, denying it. She had been so happy when Shifu had taken her with him, away from the orphanage, but... when she arrived at her new home, he turned cold to her, like all the time they spent getting to know each other didn't happen. It suddenly occurred to her.
She couldn't do it; she couldn't tell herself he was wrong. Because no matter how much she hated Tai Lung, the life Shifu had given her was nothing compared to what she thought she was going to get. Her training was essentially the only time she spent with Shifu in excess, and her memories of training weren't fond ones, not any of them. Errors and how much more she needed to push herself were her motivations, and it brought her nothing but self-disdain. She had asked herself too many times what it was that he saw wrong with her, and never found the answer.
"Enough," she pleaded quietly, trying to block out his voice. She felt so tired, her energy deficient. Physical she could do nothing because she was still hurting everywhere and mentally she just didn't have the fight in her after everything that happened.
He continued on, ignoring her protests. "I'm right then, I can tell. He treated you like dirt... and you know it. I assume that it got worse after the panda dropped in. Then you were left with nothing."
This time, she shouted to get his attention, but he was in whole different place. "I SAID NO! NO MORE!"
He sneered at his own thoughts, too caught up to see her distress. "Wait, let me guess, the old man... pokes at you rough when you've done wrong, eventually get poked enough that the desired outcome is reached, but no praise, oh no! I bet he enjoyed poking you a little too much." She was wrong, even when she absolutely knew she had done right.
"S-Shut Up!" she said helplessly. She tried, really tried to make herself hit him, but her sore body, no energy, and hearing all of this held her from physically making him stop. Her despair ran deeper as she realised she had to take this. She closed her eyes tightly, failing to stop the painful jarring in her head. Her vision blurred.
His voice was now filled with venom. The more time he spent thinking about it, the more his anger grew. He stared right into her. "Face up to it. He doesn't care about anyone, or you! He doesn't give a damn about you. All he cares about is his own spotless reputation. After he found out you weren't the Dragon Warrior, you were simply trash—nothing in his eyes, expendable. Just like I was-"
"NO!"
She closed her eyes tight, hoping somehow to rid herself of the torpid pain that suddenly took over. Adrenaline surged. It washed over her, giving her a burst of strength.
She used it.
He came out of his outspoken thoughts suddenly, and his eyes widened. She threw a clumsy punch at his face, which he instinctively caught. He was surprised by how much effort he had to put into hold back her fist; he took a tight grip on both her wrists. Her eyes were brimming. Her face seemed to tremble. She fought against what was coming, but she couldn't hold it in for much longer. The naked look she fired at him made him uncomfortable. His anger faded instantly.
He hadn't been trying to cause her anguish. He found no enjoyment seeing her in this state. This reaction brought the question, just how real were the things he'd said? How could she tell him it wasn't real now... During his confinement, his only knowledge of the outside had come from the guards banter. Rumours had spread that Shifu became withdrawn, that the cold Master had become sullen and to himself. Tai Lung had latched on to it, and he presumed the rest.
He watched her warily.
She was like a cub with no one to look after her. A statement that would doubtlessly have earned great pain if said out loud. Her current state left her powerless. This was something he could relate to, and even though someone like him wouldn't have cared at all about an enemy, seeing her like this didn't bring any satisfaction. He hadn't intended to do this, not so much... He should have had better control of himself. But his former master was a sore point; it seemed that she shared this sentiment.
Shiny and narrowed, her eyes quivered in a struggle. She still fought it. A single drop leaked free from the corner of her eye. Then, finally, the dam broke. Her expression turned helpless, hot torrents of angry tears began coursing down. A whimper escaped. He let go of her wrists and stepped back as though he'd gotten stung.
Her face had hurt written all over it. The sight made him want to move far away from her. Feeling conflicted, he continued to watch. He'd not noticed it before, but he saw something else there. His instincts were telling him that he was treading dangerously, but he didn't look away. He was baited. Her eyes held a weakness, which he knew were the circumstances ordinary she would never let anyone see. The pain she felt; he had an affinity with it. Perhaps that was it? It was idiotic, and he had no understanding of it, but he couldn't help but find her beautiful.
Tai Lung watched as she brought her hand to her face to touch against what was for her, completely unacceptable. She stared at the wet on her fingers and scowled through glassy eyes. He heard an agitated groan escape as she tried desperately to stop her sobs.
Tai Lung placed his hands on her cheeks and drew away her tears away, in an act of care he couldn't remember ever showing anybody before. "I am-."
She looked up at him with hopeless fury and bared teeth almost in an attempt to regain lost conformity. He almost decided to grab hold of her again incase she'd lash out, but the anger faded and her attempt recovery turned into more failure. Suddenly, she went lax, then with no warning, her head fell into his chest. He froze up, clueless on how to proceed. He remained unnaturally still.
She had reacted strangely. He realised she was clearly not in her right mind. Unpleasantness hit him, he had done this to her. Baffling himself, he tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders, and moved his arms around her. It felt incredibly awkward to him.
She did not tense or withdraw, but buried herself deep into the embrace, totally unaware of what she was doing and who with. Her hands gripped around his shirt, and she rubbed herself against him, jerking silently. He was close enough that he took in her scent, and memorised it. A deep shadow crossed his eyes. Moving his hand to the nape of her neck, and began stroking it tenderly, seemingly genuine with comforting her.
She looked up at him with glazed eyes and saw him looking back. He made no move to back away from her or move forward; he simply stared with his honey colored eyes, which were suddenly magnetic. Something in his gaze had a deep influence over her. She sought something she couldn't name. It was a longing that should have been ignored, but his eyes somehow forced her to address it.
Slowly, she went on the balls of her feet and wrapped her arms around his neck, her gaze never leaving his. Putting her paw to his cheek, everything seemed slow as she pulled him in.
She closed her eyes as their lips brushed gently. She clung to him hopelessly... His eyes went wide for a moment. Thoughtlessly, Tai Lung snaked an arm around her waist, crushing her against him. He placed his paw on the back of her head so he could designate the force he desired. To his satisfaction, she copied, pulling him closer. They aligned and pressed together. His tongue prodded lightly on her mouth. She obliged without thought, opening her mouth for him. Tai Lung was encouraged by her compliancy, and his tongue entered her mouth. At first, she did nothing but then seemed to pick up on his strokes and joined. Tai Lung felt himself begin to stiffen. She smelled so good.
He felt himself losing control. She never would have kissed him, or even touch him in any other way than violently, but now here she was, touching him... and kissing him. She let out a soft moan, pulling into his mouth even harder. That was enough. His thinking be shattered. He growled lasciviously at her fervor, and pushed her off him, backing her against the cabin wall.
Placing his hands on her sides, he lifted her off the ground and felt the curve of her powerful hips. He moved to kiss her neck. His predatory fangs grazed across it, making her shiver. Moving back to her mouth, his paws pushed into her shirt and began pulling it up. He had revealed more stripes, and was about to go further, then her eyes snapped open. The fog cleared. She pulled away from the kiss, gasping.
Coming to her senses, she put her hand on his chest. "No don't," she said imploringly.
Tai Lung first looked startled at her sudden withdrawal, then he scowled. "Why not?" he asked angrily.
She turned more desperate. "I just can't! I've never ev-" Tigress cut herself off, realizing what she was about to say.
He was confused by her, and annoyed, but then saw the deep blush written on her face. Then it hit him. Of course. What other reason could there have been? He mental smacked himself for not picking up on it before. But it really wasn't something he'd tried to figure out. And even still, she shouldn't have been so— He thought since she had stirred this up...
Tai Lung looked at her panic-stricken face. She looked like she would turn ill if she got any more upset. He sighed, and lowered her to the ground. Although it was against his nature to release, he found the restraint to do so this time, just. "Very well. I'll let you go this time, but if you ever do this again, I won't be able to control myself," he said with complete seriousness.
He was telling the truth, and she was unnerved by it. But how had it happened, she wondered about that. It was something beyond her. She tried to ignored it, put it aside, but she couldn't. She gripped her arms tight and looked to the ground nervously trying to piece together what just happen.
He moved to a dresser next to his bed and pulled out a pair of black coloured slacks. He began to change into them. She looked up, "What are you doing?" she asked, shocked that he would simply undress in front of her.
He gave her a displeased look. "You have eyes, don't you, woman?" She certainly did, and she averted them elsewhere when he removed his pants.
She heard him move about as he changed and couldn't help feeling as if he was taking his time- probably on purpose so that she would get even more distressed. "You can look now."
She turn back around and saw him smirking at her. He could definitely see her embarrassment. He wore no shirt, exposing his powerfully-muscled upper body and rosette-studded fur. She could plainly see how defined he was, and she couldn't prevent herself from blushing at the sight. She wasn't stupid; she knew something appealing when it was in front of her, and he was- breathtaking, actually. He looked almost the same as that time when she'd fought him on the Thread of Hope except for the slacks now being black.
Even though she had seen him this way before; she only just took notice of him now. Why would she? It was was not the same as pointing out someone weak points, instead, she was looking at him much differently. She almost forgot she was staring, but luckily for her, Tai Lung did not see this.
She yawned tiredly and gripped her head, wincing. This did not go unnoticed by Tai Lung, who frowned to himself. Yet again, he had forgotten about her pain, and on top of that, she had been moving all day. "You should rest. You need it."
She looked at him cautiously. "Where can I sleep?"
"You may use my bed, and make sure you get a good night's rest. I'll tell you our heading tomorrow," he said casually.
She was somehow relieved that she could sleep here. She could not understand it, but she suddenly felt safer being closer to him. She blamed it on the opposing company. "Why not... now?"
Tai Lung smiled, surprised she still had the vigour to care right now, but he would not tell her just yet. "You'll find out soon enough."
She shifted awkwardly, mulling over what to say. "Listen... about me, just then-"
"Yes, I'm sorry for that." He could see that she didn't want to talk about it, so he saved her the trouble. "It was not what I wanted. If there is any way I can make it up to you-" This time, she cut him off.
"No. I've had too much pent up emotion as of late." She gave him an attempt looking unbothered, but then her face went dead serious. "But ever don't tell anyone."
She was well aware that she would never be what master Shifu wanted; she had twenty years worth of lessons to vouch for that. It was equally clear that she'd never get what she wanted. The bitterness behind why he barely acknowledged her beyond a negative had been buried into the deepest corners of her mind, firmly trapped. Yet, not one day had passed since waking up on this ship, and this man had forced it out. She spent so long in Tai Lung's shadow, resentment would be putting lightly. She used up every day grinding on the knowledge that it was him she had to set as a milestone to exceed. A despondent drive, but it was her's.
Yet she received comfort from him when he had been the one to antagonise her in the first place. The one who received everything she hadn't; it was obscene. She was angry and confused. She was out of her mind... This was something held in for too long, and then it broke out, because giving in seemed easier. But now she wasn't feeling anger, not even at him. She was too spent... and oddly she felt as though a huge pressure had been removed. Despite her current position, she wasn't carrying the same amount of baggage, which baffled her.
He simply nodded.
The Mandarin sun had set quietly over the Valley of Peace. All of its people were hurrying around, going about their business like any average day. Contrariety to its name, the whole valley was not at peace... The Jade Palace, where right now Master Shifu's voice could be heard even at the foot of the gigantic stairway made this plainly clear. Shifu's rant bellowed through sacred the Hall of Warriors.
"How. How. DID THIS HAPPEN!" They all shrunk back at Shifu's furious voice suddenly jumping in volume.
The rest of the Five with Po had returned to the Jade Palace beaten and bruised to tell him that they had failed in their mission. And not only that, but the enemy had taken Tigress captive as an act of self-grandisement. It just didn't make any sense; how could his students, the best in all of China, get defeated by the disorganized remnants of a headless army? He refused to believe that the enemy was capable of beating them, couldn't be true- not all of them. Po spoke up, his voice carried the shame he felt. "It's my fault, master. If I had listened to Tigress and... did what I was told then we wouldn't be in this mess." The others gave him sympathetic looks. They had all failed.
Shaking his head, Shifu's attitude remained stony. "I do not know how you were defeated, but whoever is responsible will be brought down!" Shifu spoke commandingly. But they still looked defeated, which confused him.
They all eyed each other nervously, each thinking out the right words. They had decided together to break the news, but now that they were here doing it, it seemed much more difficult. Viper decided to speak out. She said it as simply as she could. "That's just it, master. The one who beat us, the one who took Tigress... is... Tai Lung.
Shifu's stern demeanor faltered- in fact, it completely shattered. He turned to Viper. Did he hear right? "... What?"
If you expected them -ya' know- anytime soon then I'm sorry to disappoint because it won't be soon. I hope you enjoyed reading thank you all!
"We'll have a heading tomorrow - We'll know where were going tomorrow". Some of you may not know what it meant so there it is.