Chapter 5
I have no control of anything... nothing... I die and wake to the feeling of pain... pain is the only thing I have in my life...severe excruciating pain everywhere... Screaming is all I can do which lets the bugs in... Not that they aren't everywhere anyway... I bite them and squish them but the sarcophagus revives them... I think about my team who left me to this... who haven't returned for me... the names escape me... I cannot think... it hurts... Pain is my world the only sense I know... This could go on for ever I realise it is no skin of his nose... I scream more out of frustration than pain as tears run down my cheeks... I know he is winning I know I am breaking slowly...
I have no idea how many cycles I've been through nor the length of time I have been in here with these bugs. It seems like and age, an old old age, I giggle, in here I might never go old and wrinkly. All I know is pain. I try to remember my old life in the brief seconds between dying and death when sudden clarity hits you. Military comes to me I remember faces and orders. The pain begins again, I don't know how long I can do this, who I am why am I resisting. I only remember clearly that I must fight, I can not give in.
Again and again the cycle went round and round, waking to the blinding white light with creatures crawling all over you like spiders, Incy wincey spider I mentally sing. They seem to take it as a challenge how far can they crawl before the cycle resets. Pain like nothing I can remember except the cycle before, this latest what each time seemed an age of agonising pain before it faded and you died. I was starting to consider giving in it was clear that this was going to go on until I gave up. Could I go no, can I go on
Pain, hurts, agony, God oh God, felt tired, so so tired of pain, what did I have to say to get this to stop, the magic words, abra kadarba. I giggle that was funny. I dunno why it is. Bugs bugs everywhere with not a drop to eat. I screamed kicking the door, part of me fought as I did it I said the words to get this to stop. I could fake it serving him I was sure of it.
"Aphosis is my God" I yelled nothing happened more frantically I yelled it again, now I had decided to give in I was frantic, the pain became to much and I felt like so many times before death.