Being taken care of was an understatement. Jax literally has done everything for me in the last twenty four hours, I don't think anyone has ever gone this far out of their way to help me.
"It's okay, Jax. You don't have to stay with me." I say quietly from the bed, blankets up to my chin. I'm shivering from head to toe.
"Rae, I want to. Really." He hands me a cup of water and a small pill. "This will help you sleep."
"I don't want any drugs." I push my hand up and out against his.
"It's okay, darlin. You need to wean yourself slowly." I take the pill from him, placing it on the tip of my tongue. OxyContin. I swallow it slowly, looking at him for assurance. "We are gonna taper you down, okay?" I nod, still shivering.
"Will you hold me, Jax." I ask quietly, pulling back the covers. I'm wearing a tank top and boy shorts, but I don't care. It's the least that I can give to him after all of this. He nods, pushing his kutte off of him and into the chair across the room, kicking his shoes and socks off in a swift motion. I stare at him intently as he unbuttons his flannel, discarding it along the chair as well. He's left in a SAMCRO T-shirt and his jeans that hug his hips in just the right ways. This may be the drugs talking or how fucked up I am in all ways right now but I'm wrapped around him in so many ways.
He gets into bed with me, "you're burning up." He says, wrapping his tattooed arm around me.
"I'm freezing, Jax." He rubs up and down my arm, pulling me closer to him. In any other circumstance I think this would be totally uncalled for but in the moment I feel so blessed. "I have a problem." I whisper, pushing my face into the crook of his shoulder. He smells like pine and old spice.
"We all have problems, darlin'." He whispers back, pulling back the hair that's covering my face. "Some of us just need more help then others. My ex, Wendy, she had a problem too. I tried to help her but she fought me every step of the way, killed my unborn kid and herself with the stuff. You'll be different, I swear. We are gonna fix you." He's looking down at me, I can tell part of him is broken too. "I won't give up on you, I swear." Here I am in bed with a man I barely know, feeling more secure then I have in many moons.
To thank him I do the only thing I know how to do, even in my fuzzy state of mind I can feel his eyes on me, as I lean up to kiss his tortured lips his eyebrows furrow. "You don't have to do this, you know." He whispers, pulling slightly away from me.
"I want to." I say, bringing shaking hand up to his cheek. He adjust himself so his face is hovering over mine, I can feel his warm breath on my skin. I take my time, running a hand through his unkempt hair, closing the space between us. His lips are nothing like Juice's, they're soft, warm and welcoming. He doesn't force his tongue in like an intruder, instead he kisses me as if he's afraid I might break. I pull myself closer to him, deepening the kiss for him. Our mouths opening, tongues dancing together. I almost forget the numbness I'm feeling as the heat rises in my belly. My nipples grow firm against his chest, a small moan falling from my lips.
"You're so young." He says, pulling back from me. "You deserve so much more than all of those shit heads have given to you." I shake my head but he cups my chin, turning me to face him. "I'm going to make love to you like a girl like you always deserved, just tell me you want to and not that you feel obligated to."
"I want to, Jax. More than anything." He closes the space between us once again, this time deepening our kiss. We never break apart, not even when our clothes, one by one are being discarded to the floor. Even naked, I've never felt so exposed before. Even barely high this is sobering, he rubs me in all the right ways, his hands firmly grip my chest, as our bodies become one. I can feel the head of his cock against my center, daring to push further. In a swift motion he's inside of me, bracing himself with his arms against the bed frame and on me, our lips still connected. I'm moaning against his lips, him burying himself deep inside of me. He's bigger than most, I notice and the way he moves his hips has me begging for more.
He flips me so I'm on top of him now, pulling me down on him, He's in a sitting position, our lips still connected as I move against him. He holds me close, rocking my body against his, a soft moan leaving my lips. I can feel myself coming closer to the edge as he pushes further into me. "You're so fucking beautiful." He whispers, his hands holding my breast and hip eagerly.
I hold my fingers against his hair, pulling his hair as he pumps himself into me. "don't lie to me." I whisper, "I'm a mess."
"Doesn't make you any less beautiful." He groans, moving his lips to my neck. His teeth graze my neck and then my earlobe, he whispers again, "Trust me." He groans again, his hands moving to my bottom. I nod, throwing my head back as I moan. "Cum for me, baby." He whispers, running his hands down my sides and to my front, rubbing my center as he pounds into me.
"Jax!" I scream, grinding down onto him as I finally reach my brink. He holds me close as he rings into me once again, riding his orgasm out with mine. He groans into my neck before reaching up to kiss my lips once more, holding me to him. I could get used to this.
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