Tatatatatatatatatatatatatatata.
Anybody thought that the second season was overly dramatic?
Chapter 3 "Hikigaya Hachiman and Killer Killer."
There are many urban legends about and living in Chiba.
The web is a big place where someone can find these rumors.
The mysterious Chibatman rider.
Ghosts that are in determined locations.
Man using black suits that are sighted in certain places.
Most of them are false… and they are not our focus now.
What we are searching for is one that appeared around 3 years ago, one that no one could have confirmed it's existence. Though there are several theories, no one had solid proof of this person.
A serial Killer who kills other killers… in other words…
A vigilante that targets other serial killers and criminals.
'Killer Killer'
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3 years ago…
There was a certain vicinity in the city of Chiba. The people living there were peaceful and likable, most of them were married couples with children.
It was normal and peaceful…Until a certain crime was discovered.
According to the witness, she was walking her dog in a morning jog when she spotted a small sleeping bag in the park where the children of the neighborhood are most of the time,
She approached the bag and noticed…It was one of those sleeping bags for kids… and there was something inside.
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The kid that was found in the bag was missing for 2 days.
Osamu Tomohiro.
According to the sources and the forensics, he had bruises in all of his body. He was repeatedly raped and finally, he was strangled to death.
One of many of the identified victims of a serial killer and pedophile dubbed as "The Boogeyman", referencing the character in the occidental legends.
There were already three more victims apart from Tomohiro. 2 girls and 1 boy without counting Tomohiro.
None of them were older than 12 years.
All raped and strangled, found in sleeping bags.
The police had no leads in the case. The fathers and Mother were demanding for justice. Crying for their children…some of the wanting to take justice for themselves.
It was a controversial case in Chiba.
Some time passed.
In the same park days later, appeared another sleeping bag.
Only this time…
It was an adult sleeping bag.
Furuta Akio, 25 years, engineer. He was found dead in the park inside of a sleeping bag. He was repeatedly beaten and was strangled.
He was a known figure in the neighborhood. He liked to play with children in the park because they reminded him his dead son, according to the residents that talked with him.
When they were examining his body, they found stuffed inside his mouth a paper.
Printed… with the pictures of the victims of the boogeyman.
Searching inside his home, the police found children underwear hidden behind a drawer… with DNA from the victims.
Furuta Akio was the Boogeyman.
No one would even think that such kind person was such a horrible monster, living with them…being in contact with their children.
The boogeyman case was closed, giving the parents who lost their children and the ones who still had them, closure and peace.
There is still a question…
Who killed the Boogeyman?
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In the other face of the printed paper found in Akio's mouth.
Was printed a message
"Hello and good day
This letter here is to tell you a secret.
Everyone has another side, people are two sides of a coin.
They are extremely kind and innocent…
And they can be Hideous and Wicked.
You should take that into account the next time.
Everything you see in a person is a lie until proven otherwise.
A mask. A facade. Present in everyone, even you, my dear reader.
Be careful. You don't know anything about anyone.
Your coworkers, your neighbors, your family. Everyone has secrets.
It's not a bad thing…they are free to lie.
With nothing more to say on this occasion…
I present you the piece inspired by the serial killer knows as:
'Boogeyman'
I hope we meet again.
The evangelist of murderers
Killer Killer"
In the bottom was a face divided into two sides.
An uncolored, normal and smiling face on the left.
A black colored, sinister face that had an eerie smile and red eyes in the right.
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A Teacher who molested and blackmailed his female students, driving them to suicide.
A businessman who kidnapped and tortured school girls and young women in anonymous dates.
A Woman who seduced and married rich men, only to kill them and inherit their money.
What is common in them?
All of them were murdered in the same manner they did kill their victims
All of them had a letter addressed to no one in particular.
With the same two-faced icon.
The signature Letter of Killer Killer.
There's a question in the police force.
Who Is Killer Killer?
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Youth.
What is the meaning of that word?
The condition of quality of being young, the time of life between childhood and maturity, an early period of development or existence.
I think…
Youth is a like a training to be an impostor.
Cliques, groups, gangs, whatever you call it.
They group themselves and pretend that they like each other. To survive.
In Society, you will need to pretend, lie, scam and deceive to live. After all, when you get into the real world, you will have to work, coexist and see people that you hate, but can say it to face value.
Because it's what it needs, otherwise, you would break the status quo, lose your job, and gain the hate of that person's 'friends'.
It needs hypocrites. When someone asks your opinion about the matter, even if you are against it, you accept. Why? Because of your fear to being rejected. You lie to yourself and your beliefs and do or say the complete opposite of them.
And most important…
Needs sacrifices. If you go against them or you act in a way they don't like, you would be left alone. You will be disposed of. They need you to give everything in order to please them, please the 'group'. If you don't, they will replace you with some other clown who will.
It's no more than that.
You won't live for yourself but for the common good.
Having to care about how are you acting, choosing carefully your words, being what they want you to want.
For what point?
Just to feel good about yourself? Being popular? To be loved? It doesn't matter…
All of that is just on the surface.
You Rely on fake friendship and camaraderie to survive your environment. There is a certain belief:
"No one can do anything alone. They need other people to rely on." This motto can be read in all shounen magazines.
That's not true. People can live on their own. They can live on their own. They can save the planet on their own.
They can be their own person.
It's just that they don't even try. Because they would be branded as 'weird', 'abnormal' and many other labels. Just because they don't fit the profile or because they don't try to please anyone.
To answer the question in the title…
Youth is Hollow. It is no more than an illusion. Something parents tell their children to appease them.
If you want to live your life lying to yourself you're entire life…
Then I suggest you go and kill yourself.
Written by Hikigaya Hachiman for Modern Japanese.
Class 1-F.
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The face of my Japanese teacher was getting more disfigured the more she reads my essay. There was this weird twitch in his right eye. He looked back and forth between me and my essay.
"Hikigaya…" She says in a deeply irritated tone. "What was the assignment that I handed out during class?" She had to stop herself of clenching her teeth.
"…It was an essay. We had to write based on the topic of 'Looking back in the past and reflecting the future'" I replied, looking at her with a nervous look. Did she eat something bad?
"Exactly, then why did you wrote a death threat!?" She then lets a sigh and pulled a hand through her hair "Are you a murderer?" I hold my breath "or are you just a plain idiot?!" and then let it go.
I thought I was the only one who nailed it…
…Hah…
"Pay attention!" She yells at me, obviously angered at my lack of attention.
"Yes…" I replied, discouraged. I was getting bored…and talking to this lady is somewhat tiring. She is always angry when she talks to me… I wonder why?
"Hikigaya, what is with this tasteless essay? It's so dark and edgy. It depressed me and stopped me from enjoying my jump and ruined my good mood!" Her eyes shooting daggers at me, with a deadly scowl.
So it was my realistic essay what put her in this state…
"What do you mean?" I asked confused. "I did what I was asked to." At least, I think so…
"Generally, this kind of essays are used to reflect your mistakes in the past and to project a good future about yourself, don't you think?" Hah?
"I did. If that wasn't the objective of this essay, then say so. I then would have written what was asked and we would be happy. Isn't it you fault for writing misleading questions, Hiratsuka-sensei?" I answer with irritation. How do you expect me to do it without knowing that?
N-Not that I'm angry about having to dispose of such magnificent and honest essay. I was, like, really inspired while writing that. All of my efforts being crushed like this.
"Don't twist the meaning of my words, brat!" Brat huh?
I look at the ceiling and mutter "From the perspective of someone of your age, I am a kid…"
I blocked an incoming punch with my hand.
"Ah!" I take off my eyes from the ceiling and look at my aggressor, Hiratsuka-sensei, whose fist I was holding.
"You should stop using violence, sensei. It doesn't suit you." I advised her, letting her hand go. "Anyway, Hiratsuka Sensei, are we done here?" I asked.
Hopefully, we are finished here so I can go home to watch Ajin!
She was stroking her hand with a light wince. I didn't use too much force, you know? My mother would kill me if I damaged a woman.
"Wait a second there, Hikigaya." I tightened the grip of my essay and my shoulders dejectedly slumped. So close!
"What?" I sighed, tired. I didn't have too much sleep yesterday. Amazing how much time can someone waste on watching cat videos.
"Are you in any clubs?" No, there are people there. Also, most of them are disgusted at my sight and whisper behind my back.
"No."
"Do you have friends?" Huh? Where is this going?
"No."
It was then when Hiratsuka sensei's face brimmed with excitement.
It was at the same moment that I knew something bad was going to happen.
"I knew it! You really don't have any friends! Just one look to those lifeless eyes and anyone would know!" I blinked.
What the hell?! Why everyone attacks my eyes?!
She nodded to herself muttering and yes and then looked at me with a reserved expression. "…Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Of course not, why would I?" I answered immediately, no need of beating around the bush.
It's not like I want one.
I would need to pay all my attention to her, buy her gifts and hear her complaint about everything. All for her to dump me for a more handsome dude.
Not that it will happen ever.
And on top of that…
I already have Komachi!
"I see…" She gazed at me intensely and somewhat looked…relieved?
I keep looking at her with a dead expression and she shift her eyes towards my essay. Are you avoiding my eyes?
"Rewrite your essay." She ordered.
"I will." I was going to turn in the opposite direction when I heard her saying more.
"However, we have another problem." Huh?
"We do?" I asked puzzled.
"The facts are, that your heartless words and behavior have hurt my feelings and my hand" That one was your fault. "Did no one taught you how not to talk to a woman about her age" They did, but I didn't bother listening. "As a result, you are required to join the service club."
Ok…What?
The service club?
"After all, you hurt my feelings and your wrongdoings must be punished." You don't look hurt all!
Damn, you are making poses and you are more perky and cheerful than usual!
Also the word perky reminds me of something else...
I don't know how it happened but I'm glancing sneakily at sensei's breasts movement. I start looking at the ceiling.
"Huh? Is something there?"
"There was a spider there." I lie "What about this… 'Service club'?"
The name implies helping…and I hate helping. Especially when I'm not rewarded!
"Just follow me." then she exited the room, her lab coat fluting with every step she made.
It's a waste of time, but knowing her, she will pester me until I give or make my life impossible.
Usually both.
I sighed, annoyed as I walked behind her.
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It's September of my first year of High school. Four months have passed since I entered in Sobu high.
Because of my late entry, a week after the ceremony entrance, all cliques and groups were formed and I, unsurprisingly, was left out.
Well, I'm pretty sure I would be a loner either way so it's not a big lost…
In one month, I managed to attract the attention of the female teacher I'm currently following. I'm pretty sure it's not because of my excellent grades or my quiet personality.
Is it because of my eyes? Why do I even ask, of course, It's my eyes.
It's always is.
This service club…
I have the feeling that is going to be a pain in the ass…
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"We're here…mates." I heard her muttering the last part. Now you copy internet parodies?
You've way too much free time, Hiratsuka-sensei. Must be because of your single state. I see her head turning at me with a scowl as if I had said those words out loud.
I didn't. Even I know how not bring the age of a woman, her marital status, and her hobbies all at once.
We arrived at our destination. We were in front of a very normal looking door of a classroom on the second floor of the special building of Sobu High school.
There's a club here?
There was nothing that indicates that there's a club here, there was no doorplate nor any decoration. Just a plain door with a plain empty sign.
As I was staring at it, wondering what kind of club is, sensei opens the sliding door, making a loud sound.
What I saw was a normal classroom. There were piled up chairs and tables in the back, could it be that this was being used as storeroom?
I diverted my attention at the single girl that was seated in a chair near the window.
She was reading a book with a picture of a black cat on the cover. Ah, the cover was also written in English. A foreign?
To me, it looked like even if nuclear bombs were to fall on Japan, she would still be here reading quietly, as if she was an existence above this dimension plane.
She had long, black hair tied in two red ribbons and blue eyes. She was wearing the black blazer of the school, a white shirt under it and a ribbon tied around her neck. She wears black stockings up to her knees and a plaid skirt.
She also had slender legs that seem to glow with the light from the window. She just realized that she had visitors. After putting a bookmark in her book, she looked up at us.
"Hiratsuka-sensei, I told you before. Knock before you enter." Reproached the black-haired girl, with a tired tone. It seems that they know each other…
"Even if I knock, you wouldn't answer." Replied sensei while smiling uncaringly. You're way too cocky, Hiratsuka-sensei.
"That's because you enter before I have time to respond." She gave a disapproving look in response to sensei's words.
She then gave a quick glance at me and said: "Who is the slob standing there like a dumbass?"
Slob, I can understand, 'cause the sloppy way I dress but Dumbass? That was uncalled for.
I responded with an indifferent look. "Didn't your mother taught you that you should present yourself before asking someone's name, miss?" I replied with a polite tone. Being rude would only feed her point.
She glared at me before shifting her eyes to Hiratsuka-sensei.
I know this girl…
…
Huh…I don't know this girl.
I don't know anyone in this school.
For the record and future references, I don't bother remembering names of people I don't care and don't care about me. A faceless guy I am for them, Faceless guys are them for me.
I'm pretty sure that the only name I know is Hiratsuka Shizuka-sensei. All the times she tried to hit me and called me to the staff room bore its fruits!
I look at sensei with praising eyes. It seems that she picked this up and coughed to grab our attention.
"This is Hikigaya. He is looking to join the club." What?
"I am?" I asked her with a surprised look.
"You must engage in club activities as your punishment." She said as she glared at me sternly. For what? "I won't allow you to disagree or protest. Reflect on your actions." I haven't done anything wrong!
"…Can you really force me to be in a club?" I asked looking at her dubiously.
"You can tell by looking that his heart is considerably corrupt. As a result, he is an apathetic and pitiable person" Hey, ignoring me is a little…
"Can I leave him to you? I'm requesting that you straighten out his corrupt, reclusive disposition" You like to insult me…Stop it. If we go by the old say that girls like to tease the object of their affection, it would mean that you like me in some sort of way…
And surprisingly, I believe that even Hiratsuka-sensei wouldn't reach that level of desperation.
Dating a student is against the law, after all. Though I wouldn't mind.
"I refuse." Said the girl whose name I don't know yet "That thing's lecherous eyes are filled with hidden intent." Then, she adjusts her collar as she glares at me "It makes me feel that my life is in danger."
I raised a brow in response. Don't worry about that, as if I would do something to you and the ironing board that you have for chest…
"Don't worry about that." Said sensei as she clapped her hands. "Even if he looks like that, he wouldn't do anything that would result in trouble. Think of him as a petty thug!" Oh…
If you knew how wrong you are… "I'm not a thug…" I said exasperatedly
"A petty thug… I see" As expected… ignored again.
"Well if it's a request from sensei, I can't refuse… I accept." She said with clear distaste in her voice, as if she was handed a bad role in a play.
Sensei was smiling with satisfaction. "I will leave him to you." She walked to the door, putting her hand on the handle.
Before exiting the room, she gave me a last glance. I gave her the best look of betrayal that I could think of.
She giggled at me and left.
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And so, I was left here. Abandoned would be more appropriate. I glanced at Yukinoshita and the room.
What's with this situation?!
Isn't like one of those rom-com situations where a guy suddenly finds himself on a club with a beautiful girl and then recruits more girls into it?
Isn't this the scenario for a guy to musters all his courage and confess? … Only to be rejected in the worst possible way.
I then remember that poor bastard in middle school. I snickered.
I don't feel pity for him. He always talked behind my back.
Back at the problem at hand…
Wait…there isn't any problem.
This girl is nothing more than a person. A rude one on top of that. Is nothing special, if I ignore her existence, everything will be fine…I guess.
Besides…
I need to do my math homework so may as well take advantage of the situation.
I go to the back of the room and grab a chair, making a loud rattle which makes Yukinoshita jump in surprise. I place the chair on the other end of the table, facing Yukinoshita.
I also put my bag carefully on the table, sit on the chair, take out my homework and display it on the table. I took my trustful friend, pencil chan, from my pocket and start on with it.
…
The sound of writing can be heard along with the ticking sound of the clock. Yes, the room is that quiet. Neither of us wants to make conversation with another and frankly, I think Yukinoshita is barely tolerating my presence.
…
I heard someone closing a book and lifted my head, alerted by the sudden noise.
Yukinoshita was looking at me with a stoic expression. 'Pay attention' was what her glare said.
"I believe that I should introduce myself." You should, is common sense. Even dogs smell their asses to identify themselves. "My name is Yukinoshita Yukino from Class J."
…
I narrow my eyes. The memories of a certain short-haired Onee-san whose name I will not say are filling my head. Now that I pay attention, there are a few similarities between them.
Is this girl is a relative of her?
"…My name is Hikigaya Hachiman from class F." I answered, looking at my notebook. She introduced herself so it was my turn but there wasn't any reason to show respect. It's actually clearly that she doesn't.
"I know who you are, Hikigaya-Kun." She said, irked. I frowned. How is that possible?
I'm pretty sure that my Stealth Hikki is activated all the time!
And I haven't seen her before…
"How do you know me?" I asked, puzzled. Is she a stalker?
"Hikigaya Hachiman is the name of the person that holds the highest score of the first grades." she said somewhat annoyed.
…Do I smell jealousy?
Then I remember. I think I saw her name in the score ranks under me… the 2nd place.
Before that, you must be asking how I achieved the highest score in the first place.
It's a simple story. I didn't have friends and had lots of free time.
…and I was held back a year.
I started killing time with studies, didn't have anything else to do in the hospital and didn't want to look stupid and because of that, I am proud holder of the best score in the whole grade.
It never hurts having knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
Powers destroys my enemies.
And a little piece of me likes to feel smug.
"Anyway…nice meet to you." I said, nodding at her.
She looked surprised by that.
Why you look so surprised?
I don't hold feelings just because someone insulted me or wronged me. It isn't healthy.
From the beginning, I didn't expect kind treatment from you…nor anyone. It's expected that someone like you thinks of me as if I was someone below them. It always happens.
Anyway…
I was getting curious about what this club does. I have an idea of…but I better ask Yukinoshita.
"I came here without understanding some things… like what do we do in this club?" I asked her.
"…I suppose you are right. Why don't we play a game then?" A game?
"What kind of game?"
"A game that requires you to guess what kind of club this is. So then, what kind of club is this?" She asked with a smirk.
Huh?
Why I'm not feeling those easy atmospheres that are used in games and such?
It feels more like those deadly games where a wrong answer will deliver you a swift dead.
I express annoyance in my face but it quickly fades.
I walked knowing the consequences.
I surveyed inside the room, after that, I asked her: "Do we have other club members?"
"We are the only ones." Basically no hint. Not that I need one.
"It can't be a sports club, you don't look the athletic type…" She narrows her eyes at me. "It also can't be an art club, since we don't have any kind of material." I close my eyes.
"It's not a literature club, there aren't any bookshelves or books." I breathed in.
"The only clue that I have is the strange way sensei entrusted me to you, is that that you were 'requested' to help me." I open my eyes and glance at Yukinoshita with half-open eyes.
"I assume you take requests from people and solve them." I finished my deduction.
I then pay attention to Yukinoshita. Her mouth was hanging open and was staring with awe at my direction…
"Correct…" She said, with a frown on her face. Hah, didn't go as you expected, right?
I sighed.
It's the kind of club I was expecting. So we go out of our merry way to help the misfortunate people with a smile on their faces, solve their problems and we have a happy ending?
Even saying that kind of crap sounds fake, let's not talk about doing it.
"So we help people then?" I asked, tired of all this. I just wanna go home and sleep for the rest of the day.
She sensed is and looked at me with cold eyes.
She stands up from her chair, leaving the book on the table, and walks towards me. She was standing in front of me and was looking down.
"According to Hiratsuka-sensei, it is the duty of those who are superior to save those who lead a pitiable existence" Pitiable existence?
"Hm…Based on my observations, it seems that your loneliness is a result of your corrupt mind and cynical temperament." Yukinoshita concluded, eagerly. "Firstly, I will find a place for you in society. Given that you're so pitiable, I just can't leave you alone. I will straight your personality and manners, but I'm afraid that even I can do something about your eyes."
My eyes aside, what is this thing about finding a place for me in society?
I don't want one.
"Those that possess much are motivated by charity to give to those who do not. People call this volunteer work. Providing development assistance to developing countries, organizing soup runs for the homeless, allowing an unpopular boy the opportunity to talk to a girl. Extending a helping hand to those in need. That is what this club does." She explained to me as if I was an idiot incapable of understanding.
In one way, I can't understand her. Nor did I want to understand what she was saying.
…
"Welcome to the service club I invite you." She didn't really mean that.
If it was another person, they would be on the verge of crying right now or feel rage beyond control. She was treating me no better than a piece of garbage.
"I will make sure that I accomplish what she requested of me and fulfill this responsibility. I will rectify your problem. Show some gratitude." She finishes her speech. She looked down on me, waiting for an answer.
I looked back impassively.
I see…
She was looking down on me. Both figuratively and literally.
With her folded arms and her outward appearance standing in front of me, it was like seeing the image of a noble lady, which makes me think of 'Noblesse Oblige', a French term referring to the moral obligation of the noble to display exemplary conduct to the lowly people.
Me being the lowly people.
I look at her amused. She raises an eyebrow at this but I don't say anything so I go back to the task of completing my homework.
I just lost precious time listening to the rambling of an idiot with a superiority complex.
This is really priceless. Is this the kind of person that someone looks up to?
"…" She still keeps glancing at me. "Don't you have anything to say?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Not really." I replied, disinterested.
I couldn't care less.
After that, it got really silent. Uncomfortable silence was covering the room like a cold blanket. Well, at least for her.
That silence was shattered by the sound of the door opening.
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"Yukinoshita, I'm coming." I heard sensei's voice coming from the other side. As she entered, Yukinoshita shoots her a disapproval look.
"I told you to knock." Yukinoshita sighed.
"Sorry, don't mind me and just continue. I just stopped by to see how you're doing." She said with a smile on her face.
Liar. You were standing out the whole time, spying the conversation. I never hear your footsteps walking away.
She then looked back and forth between me and Yukinoshita, and she sighed.
"It seems that Hikigaya is giving you trouble." She said like she was dealing with a nuisance.
Before Yukinoshita can say what I think will be another insult to me I beat her to the punch.
"Hiratsuka-sensei, explain to me what I'm really doing here." I prompted her to give me an answer.
Yukinoshita glares at me for being interrupted like that.
My time is precious to me, woman. Unless I receive a compensation, I refuse to spend the rest of my afternoons here!
"Didn't Yukinoshita explain it to you? Basically, the main aim of this club is to help people solve their problems by encouraging self-improvement. I guide students who I believe require self-improvement to this club. You can think of it as the Hyperbolic Chamber!"
"…Damn, that old…" I mutter hoping she doesn't hear that.
"What did you just say?!" she heard me, oh well.
"I just remembered that my favorite brand of coffee is sold." I said looking away from her and she lets me off the hook.
"Yukinoshita. It appears that you're having a hard time with him." She looked dejected.
"That's because he himself isn't aware of the fact that he has a problem." Yukinoshita replied coldly in response to sensei's troubled expression.
"You two have been saying pretty baseless stuff for a while… I don't really need to change. I'm fine the way I am." I said in a low voice.
Hiratsuka sense cocked her head in confusion "Hm?"
Yukinoshita, on the other hand, stares at me as if I was a retarded "…What are you saying? If you don't change, it will be difficult for you to live in society…" She sighed and continued "It appears that your level of understanding your surrounding is severely inferior to that of others. Don't you want to change that part of yourself?"
"No." I answered to her. "I don't care what society wants from me, it doesn't matter whatever you say to me. I don't think I have a problem." I replied with a rotten smile on my face.
"You are running away from the problem." Yukinoshita said with harsh words. "If you don't change yourself you won't move forward." She finishes looking at me with anger.
I raised an eyebrow. Did I touch a nerve to deserve such treatment?
"Move forward? To what exactly?" I said indifferently. "The one who moves forward wouldn't be me anymore. What's the point? Why can't you just accept the way you are and face the future? " I answered, shaking my head.
"That's a fallacy. That would mean that nobody would be able to move on, nobody would improve their selves." She then tightens the fist in her hand "Problems wouldn't resolve."
She looks at me with bloodcurdling anger "Nobody would be saved." Her expression tightened when she said the word 'save'.
I look down.
Not in shame.
But to think.
It's a valid point.
But it's misguided and wrong- People don't change, they evolve.
They adapt to diverse situations in order to survive.
But change?
That doesn't exist. They are the same as before, only now with the knowledge of how handling the situation.
Adaptation.
They are still themselves, they deceit others into thinking that he is a new person.
I saw it before.
Deep down in their subconscious, there is something that never changes.
Doesn't matter what the odds and situations.
It's still there.
…
I look to the face of Yukinoshita.
She was deformed by anger and is currently looking at me with.
I chuckled. I was laughing quietly.
Then I had to cover my mouth with my hand in order to avoid a full-blown laugh.
"…phu…hahaha…" it's amusing. At how innocent she was.
"…Why are you laughing like that? Disgusting." She says to me, I can feel that she was creeped out by my laugh.
I stop laughing and look straight to her face.
I smile at her.
"The nonsensical verbiage that comes from your mouth." I made a blank smile.
Both of them widened her eyes at my change of tone.
"You have been insulting me and assuming things from me without even knowing me for a day." I said to her in a calm voice.
"That means is fine too if I want to do that."
Then, I locked eyes with her. She was surprised but keep her ground.
It was a challenge.
I don't know how it happened, but…
Yukinoshita Yukino is the first person since that incident…
That has enraged me.
Knowledge is power.
Power destroys my enemies.
"Yukinoshita, why don't we start by who you really are?" I said with a distant tone.
"…What do you mean?" she asked puzzled
"Why are you here exactly, by example?" I asked her.
"I'm here because I feel the need to-"
"Feel good about yourself." I finished by her.
"What?" she replied, her tone laced with venom.
"We would get to that point later…Let's start with how much of a failure you are now."
She furrowed her brows.
"You said that the reason for me to being a loner is my corrupted mind and cynical temperament, you also attributed to my outward appearance." I construct the facts of our previous conversation "But look at yourself."
"You are a wealthy lady, you have good grades and on top of that you are a true beauty." She listens intently to me. "Yet… you don't have any friends." I concluded.
"Why?" I asked her.
Before she can answer, I cut her off.
"You are haughty and put yourself above others in the base of your personal accomplishments and first impressions. You judge me basing on the premise of me being a lowlife and a lowly student." I make a mocking smile "Yet again… how many people have you helped?"
Her eyes widened. And she gave me a death glare.
"I…" I cut her again.
"None, zero. How could you help me, when you have helped no one?"
She looked taken aback for a second but her composure remained. She is formidable…
"You sit right here every day thinking how superior you are without having anything to back it up." I look at her accusingly. "You decided to help people, not because you are a good person, it was a way to put yourself on a pedestal, why?"
The answer was really obvious.
"Because you have an inferiority complex. In reality, you are an insecure person who fears rejection and to betray the expectation that others planted on you."
"That's! That's not true…!" she sputtered. Her person was breaking…good, let's keep this rolling.
"Instead of accepting yourself, you decided it was easier being someone else. You created a strong and cold front to hide what was underneath. A frail, pathetic little girl."
"The one who's running away is not me, but you. And you dare to spout that nonsense about salvation when you can't even save yourself."
"Because you are too much of a coward."
"I-I am not-" She tried to cut me, but stammered at her words. Too late.
"You're more of a failure as a person than I."
"Because you lie and delude yourself in something that you are not. You can't accept who you really are. The life you live now is a lie, created to satisfy people who don't care about you."
"You help people basing in your own interest and because of a twisted pride you have and yet you disguised it as kindness." I can see that her eyes are getting humid.
"I admit that I don't like to help people and if I do, I want to be rewarded." I said proud of myself "You, on the other hand, you deluded yourself in think that you help in hopes of the person you help to improve."
She was turning pale. It seems that my words are hitting. Pretty hard on that note.
"You help others to cover the weakness that you have in your heart." I then looked at her "The truth is, you don't care about the people you help, but the feeling of accomplishment and superiority that gives to you makes it worth it. It makes you feel strong." I looked at her with disinterest.
She was looking at me while biting her lip and looking down. "Sh-Shut up."
"…listed all these points, I ask you…" I pointed at her with my index finger. "Why should I listen or care about anything you say?"
"You are just a condescending, hypocritical and unpleasant bitch that has nothing better than gloat about her empty accomplishments. The only thing you have is your own cheap pride. Save it for yourself, I am not interested." I was looking at her with a disgusted expression on my face. "Really, if you're gonna play psychologist, do it elsewhere, where you can't bother people with your presence."
"The only one rotten here is y-" I couldn't finish my sentence.
It was then when a loud sound was heard in the classroom. Yukinoshita looked upwards
Hiratsuka-sensei slapped me. I gave no hint of pain and was looking at her, surprised. I thought she was going to interrupt me earlier than now.
"Hikigaya…it's enough." Sensei said sternly. "You can leave now, we will talk about this tomorrow." She was giving me a disapproving glare.
So it's not over yet.
I took a glance at Yukinoshita.
Yukinoshita was hugging herself. Trembling and sobbing softly. Tears were forming in her glassy eyes and her cheeks were red.
It almost made me feel bad.
Almost.
I grab my belongings and leave the classroom muttering a goodbye.
Sensei stayed on the clubroom, consoling Yukinoshita.
I was outside the building when I start thinking…
Should I buy fried chicken for dinner?
.
.
.
I was walking taking a look at my surroundings with a bag of fried chicken.
I look at the already dark sky that was enveloping us yet the cheerful and noisy people that walk in the street.
But that isn't what interests me. I direct my gaze at the building that I was standing in front.
It was Gray building with an antique shop on the first floor. The shop was closed already but you could tell by the dust on the sign that this shop hasn't opened in a while.
I take a last look and then leave. I don't have any business here…
For now.
.
.
.
I love myself. I know my own worth and block what other people say about me. I don't let the fact that I kill people make me think that I am less than other people.
Though…the word 'love' is misplaced.
The more appropriated word would be…
Accept.
I decided the outcomes of my life in decisions made by my experiences and judgment. I don't regret anything in my life, I don't look back on what I did or said.
I understand and accept myself. I admit that I'm a horrible person…
I don't like to think otherwise. Because that would be lying…
And I hate lying to myself.
But when I start thinking about the meeting early today…
Yukinoshita Yukino…
It starts to bother me
I don't expect anything, from anyone…
They are idiots, complete morons. They judge based on their looks and personality, without knowing the lie they are…they don't even try to look deep.
The point is…
I don't get angry at that.
It's expected…
It's like those situations when it rains and you don't have an umbrella or you get stuck in a traffic jam.
You can't do anything about it so you don't get angry… you just dealt with it.
Yet…
Why did I snap at Yukinoshita?
This is bothersome
Because…
I don't understand why I did that.
Without knowing it…
I can't accept it.
I can't let this distract me…
I have work to do.
Or rather…
Killer Killer has a job to do.
.
.
.
Hanamura Teruki, 40 years, a 'Businessman' in the eyes of the public and my next target of practice.
The boss of the sleeping dragons, a yakuza gang… and a serial Killer.
He has a loan shark business. Lends money to desperate people.
Owners of business about to go bankrupt, family heads that need money for their families, drug addicts and gamblers to pay for their vices and other small-time gangs.
His objective?
When they can't pay the exorbitant tax rate, he sends his guy to pick up the person.
And then…He kills them.
In different ways…
Stabbing, poisoning, beheading, beating, strangling.
He likes to research.
He then sends his thugs to dispose of the bodies.
I already know that he is guilty
I just need to grab him.
But there's a problem
He doesn't leave the building.
I only have 2 options…
I make him come out or… I go there myself.
Choices, choices…
What will I do?
Very thankful at you for taking your time to read my story. In the same way, your criticism is welcome here, so don't hold back.