I have an unhealthy obsession with the moment Oliver finally, FINALLY decides to stop Felicity when she goes to walk away from him. We've seen her walk away so many times this season. So my brain came up with this. Major spoilers/spec for 3x09. Enjoy. Side note, I am planning a multichapter fic to get us through the hiatus + rise of the buckle canary. Fan fiction may be my only escape for awhile.
Side note-I hate writing Felicity crying. I don't do it often because I feel like its WAY overused in fanfic. But no way any of this happens without gut wrenching sobs. Cause ya know, that's pretty much how I felt when I wrote it. Title is from 5SOS lyrics to Amnesia and much of the dialog is lifted from the promo.
"There has to be another way."
Oliver looked into Felicity's determined blue eyes, and wished to hell that there was. He couldn't help the feeling of deja vu that was setting in, bringing him back to six months ago, when she had spoken those exact words. He had been so sure, back then, that the only way to end things was to hand himself over to Slade. She had refused to accept it, and they had found another way. But this was different. Ras al Ghul was on a whole other level. "There's not." he said.
He hated the way her shoulders drooped, defeated as she took off her glasses and scrubbed at her eyes with hand. "This is a dual with one of the most dangerous men that has ever walked the earth, Oliver. In another county. On another continent." She shook her head and looked down at the floor in front of his feet as tears flooded her eyes.
"It's the only way to keep the League out of the city," he said, trying to find the words that would make her see the rationality of it all.
She gave a little nod of her head and started to walk past him, walk away from him. Again. It seemed like that was all she had been doing since October-walking away from him over and over again. On his own volition, his hand shot out, grabbing her wrist gently. He was due to meet Nyssa in less than an hour, and he didn't want this to be the last memory he had with her. She stopped, her back still facing him. "Don't walk away. Please," he said and his voice broke. "Not now, Felicity. Not this time."
Her shoulders slumped and her head dropped, but she didn't look at him. "What do you want me to do, Oliver?" He heard her voice crack, and he felt a twist in his chest. "You've made it clear that one way or the other, I'm going to lose you. It's just a matter of when and where. This is the only way I know how to even attempt to keep the pieces of myself together when it does."
Oliver didn't think as he pulled her toward him, her name falling off his lips like a prayer. He wasn't sure that she would come willingly, and was suprised when she crashed into him, wrapping her arms around him and holding him as tightly as he held her. There was a roaring in his ears as he realized that no matter what came next, he had hurt her, had been hurting her since he had ended things before they had began in October. All that he seemed to leave in his wake was pain and emptiness, when she should have had light and warmth. Despite everything he was, everything he had done, she cared for him. She loved him. It seemed like the greatest miracle and his greatest punishment all in one. He nuzzled into her hair and breathed her in. When he was finally whole enough to speak, he nosed through until his mouth was close to her ear. "I know it seems like a lie, but no matter what happens, you're not going to lose me. Because my heart is yours, Felicity. Nothing will change that."
Her shoulders shook, she held tighter. He didn't know how long they stayed like that, but eventually she turned her face up to him, wiping her eyes as she finally put her glasses back on. She finally looked up at him, blue eyes deep and sad behind those glasses. Eyes that knew him, that saw him for who he was and loved him anyway, even though she'd never said the words. Except then she did. "It's selfish of me to ask Oliver, but come back. I love you and I need to know you aren't just going to go to him and give up."
His hands came up and palmed her face, just as he had in the hallway all those months ago. "Not this time," he whispered. "I didn't know what I was fighting for before, but now I do. I'm not giving up."
And then she closed the distance between them, and she was kissing him. For that moment, all of the pain and the fear and the loss melted away, and he was home.
She stayed with him until it was time, holding on to him as he held on to her. He kissed her on the forehead before he left the lair, her name spilling one last time from his lips. He carried the image of her across the sea, up a mountain and through months of pain. He held on to the dreams through the nightmare.