Peter was right (an occurrence that happened little enough that Peter was even reveling in it a little, despite the actual consequences), Thor's backhand did leave a nasty bruise. A giant, hand-sized, dark purple welt that Peter was sure as hell not going to be able to hide from anyone.

This had, surprisingly, not really been a problem until now. Yeah, Spidey got beat up every now and then, but luckily enough, since Peter had started working at Stark Industries, the beat-ups hadn't been as bad as they could have been. He used to sometimes get hit so bad that Aunt May called the school to tell them off for letting her poor boy get bullied. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he'd been bullied before and to not worry because it had never been this bad. However, since working with Tony, the bad guys had all been generic robbers and kidnappers, and he hadn't sustained an injury that had lasted longer than an hour or two. And now, ironically, it was one of the Avengers themselves who had caused that streak of good luck to go down the tubes.

"Gonna need the make-up, pookie?" Wade's voice filtered through the closed bathroom door, and Peter immediately stepped away from the mirror over the sink that he'd been examining himself in. He opened the door, and stepped into the scarred, warm arms of his fiancé.

"Hello, darling," Peter sighed.

Wade rested his cheek on the top of Peter's head. "Hi Sexy McSexytimes." He huffed out a laugh which ruffled some of the hairs on the top of Peter's head. "You didn't answer my question. Should I break out the foundation for tomorrow? Wouldn't want Tony and Brucie and Natasha and the Blond Brigade worrying over your pretty face. Or make the connection that Petey-pie got hurt the same day that Spidey-poo got hurt." Peter couldn't see Wade wiggle his eyebrows, but it was a sure thing if Wade was using that tone of voice.

Peter sighed in exhaustion and nodded. Time to break out the make-up indeed.

"How did you get that nasty boo-boo, Honey? I'm not sure that mouthless-bear-slug would have been able leave such a centered smack on my Pretty's face."

Peter perked up. "You've been calling it a mouthless-bear-slug? Me too! No seriously. Don't look at me like that, Wade! I really had been, during the fight!"

Wade passed his hand over his eyes dramatically. "It must be the telepathy of true love!"

Peter smiled and steered the taller man over towards the couch. If they were lucky they could sneak in at least one Golden Girls episode before Peter passed out. "If telepathy is caused by true love," Peter wondered aloud, "does that mean that Professor X loves everyone?"

Wade nodded sagely. "He really takes polyamory to a new and worrying level."

Peter snickered. "I'm not sure it's our place to judge him. According to you, our relationship consists of a weird foursome including you, me, you, and me."

"And Wolverine," Wade interjected as they settled themselves on the couch.

Peter rolled his eyes. "Does he replace one of us, or is our relationship upped to a fivesome?"

Wade scoffed. "Now who's being silly! Wait a minute, you never told me how you got that ouchie on your cheek. Were you distracting me?"

Peter leaned over and began sucking on Wade's neck. He removed himself only to whisper "Would I do that?" seductively into Wade's ear.

Wade made a gruff huff of agreement. "Wouldn't put it past you, Sneaky-Pete. Now tell me about your bruise, boo. That mouthless-bear-slug slap its tail into your face or something?"

Peter really didn't want to tell Wade about Clint and Thor's actions during the fight. If he knew that his teammates had been wailing on Peter, Peter didn't know what he would do. Wade might have been an ex-mercenary, emphasis on the ex-, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't lose his cool if he found out something shitty was happening to Peter. He could still remember the time, when they'd first been dating, when Wade had caught Flash making Puny Parker jokes and he'd given the jock such a dressing down Flash had been begging for Peter to save him. If he found out that he'd been actually injured by someone trusted, Peter couldn't say for sure that it wouldn't end in bloodshed.

There was no question in Peter's mind that, given the right situation (the worst situation), if Wade had to choose between Peter and the Avengers, he would choose Peter. Maybe at some point he would have worried that Wade would choose the job over Peter but…No, he knew Wade better than that. Just like he knew that he himself would give up being Spiderman if it meant keeping Wade around. There was no question. So yeah, he knew that if Wade found out about the Clint and Thor thing, then Wade would not think twice about getting revenge on his squad and quitting if he was feeling particularly dramatic.

And Peter refused to let Wade do that. Wade loved working with the Avengers. If Peter was Wade's no. 1 priority, then the Avengers ranked a close 2nd. He would crush them into the ground, or abandon them forever for Peter's sake, but it would hurt him too, to see those he admired so greatly had done something that petty.

No, Peter couldn't tell Wade. He loved Wade, and Wade loved the Avengers, and really, the choice was a simple one. He could deal with a little pettiness between superheroes. He didn't want Wade to have to deal with losing his idols.

So he gave a little smile, a self-deprecating one. "One swipe of its tail sent a hail of bricks flying right at my pretty little kisser. Even a spider can't dodge everything at once I guess." He gave a little sigh of regret and shrugged. Then he cut his eyes to Wade's and lowered his eyelids. "Will you kiss it better?"

Wade's face split into a wide grin. "Oh, Snugglekins, I'm sure we can work something out." He peppered feather light kisses across Peter's cheek and up over his eye, across his forehead and down the other side of his face.

Peter was one of the unfortunate few (psych! Masses of people) afflicted with the horrible malady of ticklishness, and Wade Wilson's feather light kisses were dusting across his skin in such a way that made him unable to keep himself from giggling uncontrollably.

Wade continued his ministrations on Peter, dusting kisses down Peter's neck and across a quickly uncovered torso. Peter pushed half-heartedly at Wade and his cheeks began to ache from all of his laughter.

"I'll help you get all made up before work tomorrow, right?" Wade asked softly in Peter's ear.

Peter nodded breathlessly and curled himself into Wade, happiness curling his lips.