**WARNING - CONTAINS THE SUBJECT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
Thanks for all of your recent reviews. The response to this fic has truly been overwhelming and I thank each and every one of you for reading and taking the time to review.
I own nothing. All characters/storylines belong to Shonda. I'm simply 'borrowing' them.
Chapter Thirteen
"Hey, Cal?" Arizona yelled as she balanced three boxes in front of her. Realising she couldn't knock on her own apartment door, she turned the boxes slightly and brought her face closer to the door. Improvise, Robbins. Feeling her head connect with the hardwood apartment door in front of her, she groaned. Ow! Repeatedly head butting the door, she waited for the other woman to answer. "Cal?"
"Yeah, coming!" The brunette yelled as she opened the door. "Hey, what's with the boxes?"
"Never mind the boxes right now. I just had to knock on the door with my freaking forehead." The blonde laughed. "Can you rub it for me?"
"Sure, um, this is a random start to the morning." Callie chuckled as she brought the palm of her hand up Arizona's forehead. "Why didn't you just use your key?"
Gaining a sarcastic look from her girlfriend, Callie threw her an awkward smile. "Right, yeah, boxes."
"Can you take one for me please? I can't see where I'm going."
Removing a large box from her girlfriend's arms, Callie placed it down against the kitchen counter and returned to remove another.
"Oh thank God. That feels amazing." Arizona groaned as she felt the weight in her arms significantly lessen.
"Okay, put that last one down and then you can explain to me where the hell you've been. Coffee?"
"Yes, coffee. I definitely need coffee." The blonde stated as she placed the last box on the coffee table and moved towards a nearby kitchen stool.
It had been almost three weeks since Callie had returned to Arizona's apartment, and surprisingly, thing had been pretty good. Occasionally the brunette would struggle to sleep at night, but once she was safely in the arms of her girlfriend, she found that her sleep came pretty easily. The police had contacted Callie the day she had came back to Arizona and they had informed her that Suzanne her been charged. To say that the couple were relieved would be an understatement, but they knew that she wouldn't be locked away forever. If she was even locked away at all. The fact that she already had a record worked in their favour, but they weren't about to hold their breath.
The plan? To enjoy each other, and the free time that they had. Arizona knew that eventually their lives and their relationship would hit another snag, that snag being Suzanne, but maybe after spending time away for being a lame excuse for a human, the redhead would see sense and leave them both alone. Callie liked that idea, but Arizona was a little more cautious than the other woman.
She had become a worrier. A worrier who was always on the lookout even though she knew Suzanne wasn't around. She couldn't help it, it just happened, and although it was kind of annoying, she knew it was just her body's response to protecting Callie.
"So the boxes?" Callie questioned as she placed a fresh coffee in front of Arizona.
"Nope. First, a kiss." The blonde shrugged and folded her arms across her chest.
Stepping around the other side of the kitchen counter, Callie smiled and placed her arms loosely around Arizona's shoulders. "I love it when you pout. It's adorable."
Pink lips grazing against red, Arizona smiled into their kiss. Those lips. God! Running her tongue along Callie's bottom lip, she was immediately granted access. "I could kiss you forever."
Feeling the blondes breath against her lips, Callie moaned. "I want to be only kissing you forever."
Foreheads pressed together, this kiss could get very hot and very sexy in a matter of seconds. "So, the boxes." Callie pulled back.
"Ugh, I was so hoping you weren't going to do that." The blonde wined.
"I'm sorry but you know I can't help myself. I have to be in the know."
"Fine. It's your stuff." Arizona shrugged as she sipped on her coffee. "I think everything is there. I have two more boxes in my car but we can get them later.
"My stuff?" Brown eyes narrowed. "My stuff from where?"
"Old apartment." Arizona replied, nonchalantly.
"You went to my old apartment? Arizona, what did you do? Did you break in?"
"What? No!" The blonde had a genuinely shocked look on her face. "Do you really think I'd do something like that?"
"Well no, but how?"
"I may or may not have borrowed the key on your dresser. I wasn't even sure if it would work. You know, someone had changed the locks, but it did." Blue eyes narrowed. "Sorry."
"You did? You actually done that for me?" Callie flashed her million dollar smile. "She owns it so there is no one there to change the locks. Her family don't speak to her, so it can stay gathering dust for all I care."
"Yeah, I wanted you to have your stuff." Arizona stated. "Because it's yours and you should have it here, with us. Not in that place."
"You are amazing, you know that?"
"Apparently so. Some hot brunette keeps telling me." The Peds surgeon threw her girlfriend a wink and removed herself from her stool.
"Um, where are you going?"
"To unpack with you?"
"It can stay in the boxes for now. I don't want to take over your apartment." Callie smiled.
"Maybe I want you to take over my apartment. Just move what you need to, and let me help."
Taking a seat on the couch, Callie felt good. It was comfortable, and for some reason, looked a lot more cosy than before. Maybe it was just the lighting in the room, or maybe it was the fact that she felt a weight had been lifted over the past few weeks, she didn't know, but she wasn't complaining. The couple had resumed their movie nights, and tonight would be no different. They liked that. They liked how they could just come together at the end of the day and snuggle down with no worries tapping at the back of their minds. Yes, Arizona would always have some sort of worry for her girlfriend, But Callie had told her time and time again that she was okay, and that she wasn't fragile.
Strolling down the hallway, humming to herself, Arizona stopped at the door frame and took in the sight of the gorgeous form sitting in her living room. Their living room. My Calliope. Smiling as she thought about everything she loved about the brunette, Callie glanced back to find her staring, mouth slightly open. "Um, you okay?"
"What? Yeah. Just thinking." Pale naked shoulders shrugged as she moved into the living room.
"About what?"
"You." The blonde smiled as she took a seat beside her girlfriend.
"Okay? Is, um, is something wrong?"
"Nope. Nothing could ever be wrong with you."
Throwing the blonde a smile, Callie felt a light brush appear on her face. "I'm sure there is plenty wrong with me, Arizona."
"Nah, I don't see anything." Arizona stated matter of factly. "So you all ready to go back to work tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I can't wait. Knowing that she isn't around is going to make things so much easier."
"I know, right?" Arizona felt an immense amount of relief at the thought of Suzanne being locked away. "We should celebrate."
"Drinks at Joe's?" Callie suggested.
"Definitely. If you'd be up for it."
"Yeah, it would be nice to just chill out." The brunette smiled. "I like when you do that, by the way."
"Do what?" Arizona furrowed her brow.
"Look at me like that."
"I'm happy that I get to look at you. What you have been through, Callie, is enough to drive you away from any relationship in the future. So thank you for trusting me."
"I've always trusted you. I know I freaked out a little the other week but I never doubted for one second that you cared about me. I know you were only helping me." Tanned fingers ran through dark locks. "When you look at me like that, it makes me feel wanted. I've wanted to feel like that since I was growing up. You know, the perfect relationship. I know it won't be the perfect relationship, they never are, but it will be pretty damn close."
"Well I will continue to look at you, and want you, for as long as you will have me."
"So I'm just going to throw something out there, if that's okay?" Callie wrung her hands together. She knew how she felt about Arizona, and she had wondered if they were on the same page.
"Sure, go for it."
"I know this probably sounds pathetic, and you will probably laugh, but I can actually see myself growing old with you."
"Y-You can?" The blondes voice broke.
"Yeah. I can see us in a house, a big house, with friends around all the time, and dogs, definitely dogs."
"Is that all?" Arizona raised an eyebrow.
"Well, everything I guess. Absolutely everything with you." Brown eyes closed as Callie imagined a future with Arizona. She had been thinking about it for weeks now, and she couldn't hold it in any longer.
Tell her you love her. Tell her, Robbins. Shaking herself from her thoughts, Arizona smiled. "I want everything with you, Calliope." Bringing her hand up to cup the defined jawline of her girlfriend, blue eyes stared intently into brown as she ran her thumb along her cheek. "I find you miraculous, breathtakingly stunning."
Hot tears fell from deep brown eyes as Callie took in the words of the other woman. She couldn't comprehend how she had ever managed to leave such a horrific relationship, and fall into something so perfect. Maybe it was a little karma? Maybe it was a little magic? Whatever it was, she wouldn't question it, and she would continue to thrive in her new found love. Because it was love that she felt for Arizona Robbins. Undeniable love that she felt she could never live without. Feeling the blonde place the palm of her hand against her tear stained cheek, she leaned into the touch. "Arizona, I, uh, I-"
"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I don't want you to rush into anything. You have told me how you feel, and that is good enough for me." Arizona stated. "I would love to grow old with you too." She wanted to tell Callie exactly what she meant to her, but she couldn't. She was truly terrified that it would scare her girlfriend away, and that was something she couldn't take right now. Things were good. Great even. Why ruin it?
"No, I have so much I want to say to you, but I just don't know how." Callie dropped her gaze to her hands. Pulling at her fingers, she removed Arizona's hand from her face and took it in her own. "I-I, I'm falling for you, Arizona. I'm falling for you hard."
Hearing the words fall from red lips, Arizona pressed a soft kiss to them and smiled. She had never wanted to hear those words so much and now she had, she knew that one day soon, she could tell Callie how she felt. Yes, they could fall from her mouth quite easily right now, but this moment wasn't about her. It was about her girlfriend feeling comfortable enough in their relationship to take another step towards opening up. She knew it was a big deal to Callie, and she knew that it had taken a lot for her to tell her what she just had, so tonight, she would hold her, and she would make her feel safe just like she had for several months, and tomorrow? Tomorrow would be a new day, one which both women had no idea of its outcome. Maybe tomorrow Arizona would feel it was the right time.
Feeling her own tears reach pink lips, Arizona sniffled and removed her lips from Callie's. "You have no idea how much those words mean to me, Calliope. No idea." Blonde curls shook as she wiped away a tear.
"But it's okay that I said that?" Callie looked a little perplexed. "You aren't going to run are you? Because I can take them back if you need that?"
"No, please don't ever take them back. I just, I guess I didn't expect to hear that from you."
"It's true though, Arizona. I've been falling for you for some time now. Maybe I could say that I have fallen for you. You give so much, and ask for nothing in return. Just you being here is amazing. Or rather me being here."
Too late. She's said it. Tell her, Robbins. Tell her how you feel. Taking a deep breath, Arizona couldn't wait any longer. If the brunette backed off, then so be it. She had never been a woman to hold in her emotions or her feelings, and she had no intentions of beginning to do so now.
"Callie, can I tell you how I feel?" Blue eyes narrowed.
Staring back at Arizona, Callie went into panic mode. The blonde had been pretty open with her feelings so now, she wondered what she could possibly have to say to her. Biting down on her bottom lip, she weighed up her options. What's the worst she could say, Torres? You've just told her you want to grow old with her, you can't back out now. Brought out of her thoughts, Arizona spoke up.
"You know what, it's okay. It can wait." The blonde smiled and removed herself from her seat. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
Fumbling around in the kitchen, she felt Callie's hot breath on the back of her neck. "Tell me how you feel, Arizona." She didn't know where this conversation was about to go, and although her girlfriend had told her she wanted everything with her, she couldn't help the sinking feeling that had settled in her stomach. Maybe she wants everything with me, but not yet.
Turning around to meet the other woman gaze, Arizona narrowed her eyes. "Really it's okay. It can wait for another day. I think you've had enough of emotions and feelings for one day."
Lips millimetres away from her girlfriend's, Callie felt as though she could see straight through those baby blues and straight into Arizona's soul. They weren't eyes that were about to tell her things were moving too fast, but she couldn't quite place the emotion behind them. "Tell me." She could take whatever it was that was playing on Arizona's mind.
Her chest tightening at the closeness of the other woman, Arizona's head began to spin. Her scent attacking her, and her breath causing the hairs on her neck to stand, she swallowed hard. "I love you, Calliope."
Red lips pressed against pink, and the entire room disappeared. Callie had never heard those words spoken so beautifully, and she was almost certain she could feel her own heart pounding out of her chest. Stopping their kiss, the brunette placed her forehead against Arizona's and sighed. This kind of relationship was all she had ever wanted, and Arizona had just made it official with those three little words she had never heard honestly spoken to her.
Sure, Suzanne told her she loved her, but that was usually after she had beaten the crap out of her, and usually followed by the redhead stating how Callie had made her hit her. Hearing them from Arizona felt completely different. Nice. Truthful.
Pulling back, she looked into baby blues and stayed in complete silence. A small smile curling on her lips, she tried to gauge the blondes reaction to her own words. Did she mean to say that? Does she realise she has just actually said that out loud? Brown eyes narrowing, Callie cleared her throat. "Y-You do?"
"Yes, I do." The look on Arizona's face was genuine. Not a hint of doubt in her eyes. "Not just like, I love you for the sake of saying it." Blonde curls shook. "But like heart stopping, breathtaking, earth shattering love."
Tears trickling down a tanned cheek, Callie closed her eyes. Her love for me stops her heart. Oh god. This woman is something else. Sobs racking her body, the brunette fell forward into the pale body body holding her. Slim fingers running through dark hair, Arizona held on to Callie and soothed her until the sobs subsided. "It's okay, Callie."
Had she just ruined what they had by saying those words? Had she just scared Callie off? I had to tell her. I couldn't not. She deserves to know that she is loved. "Callie, I'm sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear. I just, I couldn't keep it in any longer." Arizona closed her own eyes this time. The thought of Callie not being comfortable with those words was crushing her by the second. "I'm sorry." She wasn't apologising for saying it, no, she felt a weight had been lifted now that she had declared her love for the other woman, she was apologising for upsetting Callie.
Watching as she pulled back from her arms and looked into her eyes, Arizona felt her heart pound in her ears. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to be happy, not upset. The blondes mind raced. She said she was falling for me. Did she only say that because she thought it was what I wanted to hear?
Clearing her throat, Callie smiled. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't expect that. I didn't expect you to say that. I just, God, Arizona. You just make me feel like I'm the only person in the world that matters. You make me feel like I can do anything, and be anything, and say anything."
"You are the only one that matters, and you can do what you want, Callie." The blonde furrowed her brow. "The sooner you realise your worth, the sooner you can be even more amazing than you are now."
"Did you really mean what you have just said?"
"I would never lie to you, Calliope. I just had to tell you. You were being all lovely and cute, and you needed to know, or I needed to tell you exactly how I feel about you. I've felt it for a while but I wasn't sure you were ready to hear it. I'm sorry if you weren't ready, but I'm not sorry for loving you."
"I don't even know what to say to that." Tanned fingers ran through dark hair.
"You don't have to say anything." Arizona gave the other woman a dimpled smile. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to say, or you aren't ready to say. You just had to know that I love you. You don't have to say it back."
"I know." The brunette gave a slight nod. "But everything I said to you before? I meant that. And I want to say it back, I just don't know how to."
"And that's okay. When you feel like you can, you will."
Staring into those beautiful blue eyes that meant everything to her, Callie couldn't believe what was happening. Arizona Robbins loves me. Not anyone else, me. She desperately wanted to tell her girlfriend that she felt the same way, hell, she wanted to scream it for the whole of Seattle to hear, but her mouth wouldn't sync up with her brain.
She had often said those words to Suzanne, and ninety percent of the time, she hadn't meant it, so right now, she needed to be sure that her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. She had to be sure that what she was saying was true, and even though in her heart she knew it was the most truthful she had felt in some time, she needed to think about it. Say it when it mattered most.
It wasn't Arizona she was unsure of, it was herself. She had been down this path before. The path which promised her undeniable love, happiness and security, and that path had turned into a muddy track, filled with hatred, fear for her own life, and a sense of loss for who she truly was. She couldn't allow herself to believe that this was how her relationship with Arizona would turn out, she knew it wouldn't, but she did sometimes question whether she was the problem in the relationship. That maybe Suzanne wasn't entirely to blame.
"I need you to know that I feel it too, I just, I can't say it yet." Callie stated, still lost in her own thoughts.
"That's okay, Cal. I can wait." Pink lips curled into a smile. "I can wait forever."
Guiding them both back to the couch, Arizona could see that Callie was lost in her mind, and right now, she was happy to let her work things through in her head. She had just dropped the L word on her like a tonne of bricks, and although she would have loved to have heard it repeated back to her, she knew Callie needed time. She needed time to know that what she was saying was true. She hadn't even expected herself to say it tonight, but she had, and now it was out there.
Arizona didn't want her to say it because she felt she had to. She had been in a long term relationship herself where the other person had said it because it was what she wanted to hear, and that turned out to be a disaster, so Callie needing time was fine by her.
Settling down with the other woman tightly in her arms, she pulled a blanket over them and held Callie with everything she had. She loved her, and now she knew. Arizona had said those words, and she had never in her life been more sure about anything.
"She loves me." Callie mumbled barely above a whisper.
Unsure of whether she meant to say those words out loud, Arizona smiled. "I do."
Thanks for reading guys, as always, I look forward to your reviews and opinions.