A/N: Alright, so I lied about Noonvale. I'm half surprised I don't delete that story.
"One more word, cat! Just one more word," the hare in front of me said. "and I'll shove this spear down your throat til it reaches the tip of your tail!"
"Look, I appreciate that you like spicing up your threats, but you've been saying stuff like that for about an hour, a half hour at least! Why don't you just tell me what a Salamanderstrong is and I'll be more than happy to be quiet."
"You must think us daft, wot! To believe that you don't know what Salamandastron is." This time, the angry bunny from before was yelling. She was keeping pace behind me, occasionally shoving me. I'm pretty sure she was just doing it out of spite than actually trying to help me along. Just a guess. This wasn't the first time a rabbit had given me so much grief, but it was a first in that I didn't have a gun with me to get some payback.
"Well, I do believe that, but not for the reason you're giving. Look, just untie my hands."
"What in blazes are hands?" The male in front asked. Also, how weird is it that I can differentiate the genders of rabbits? Maybe my cat ears are picking it up. Speaking of which, still have cat ears. Still need to look into that one, but at this point, I'd say it's a question for later.
"Look, whatever, ok. Paws, hands, claws, I don't care! UNTIE THEM, WHATEVER THEY ARE!"
"You're in no position to be makin demands of us, wot!" That voice blasting into my ears from the back is gonna give me a tumor, I know it.
"Why do rabbits love saying that?"
"Wot?"
"That. That right there. The whole, wot wot thing. Why is that needed? Is that a culture thing? A bunny thing? A Saler-whatever thing?"
"If you don't stop talking-"
"Why do you need to continually ask wot to everything. Your ears are gigantic! There's no way you're not hearing what I'm-"
Whack!
You know, in hindsight, I'm not quite sure what I expected to happen. One thing I sure didn't expect was the second blow to hurt worse than the first. I'm beginning to think cat skulls are far less durable than humans skulls. Either way, unconsciousness is almost always an immediate relief.
That is until you wake up from it. Though at first it was hard to tell, everything was still so damned dark. There was a glow coming from my right, and I noticed I was apparently laying on a small bed of hay and grass. Hopefully cat me has less allergies than me me. Also, prison bars. Cool, I guess. I turned to see the glow came from some torches, and that two of those big eared buck teethed bastards were sitting on some chairs on the opposite side of the bars.
"Alright, now where am I?"
"Bloody cat is awake. Somebeast tell Lady Steelheart." The female one said.
"I'm on it." Alright, different male voice. A bit lighter in pitch, sounds a bit youngish.
"Hey." I said nonchalantly.
"Wot now, vermin?" Gosh, she is a bright little ray of sunshine.
"So... this your place? Comfy. What is this, a dungeon? Feels like a dungeon."
"You're being held in the lower dungeons of Salamandastron. None of your friends can help you here."
"Fair enough. Though I doubt my friends would be of much help now anyway. Probably wouldn't really recognize me... neither would my folks..."
No response came. I sat about for a few seconds, or maybe minutes, hard to tell when all you got to look at is rocks.
"Alright, so, what's your name?"
No response.
"Do bunny rabbits have names?"
...
Alright, different approach.
"How about this. Do you have any questions for lil' ol' me?"
"The Lady Steelheart will be askin' the questions, wot."
"Is she coming anytime soon? No offense, but you're not the world's greatest conversationalist."
"I don't converse with the like of you." There was some pretty thick contempt in that tone. It's almost as if she didn't enjoy my company. Perish the thought.
I decided to wait the rest out in silence. Thankfully, it wasn't too terribly long before the beast with the medieval carebear name came down. It was escorted by two hares, one of them being the younger guy. Zero smiles all around, this boded well. The beast had sort of a weird color pattern on its fur, and it was much taller than the rabbits. Donned in some glittery armor, it looked a mix of cute and bizarrely cool. Like if you were to dress a dog up in a costume and the dog actually sort of didn't look completely ridiculous in it.
It was staring intensely at me while I sort of just laid there. I decided to get up. My back felt sore, but a few good stretches helped pop it. After cracking my neck, I strolled over towards it. I noticed then that the cell they put me in was rather roomy. Heck, put a bed in there, maybe get some better ventilation... perhaps a key for me to get in and out, and the place wouldn't be half bad. Oh, and some food. Kinda hungry right about now.
Apparently, an unarmed prisoner behind bars is still a legitimate threat to an armed and armored lady, as all three hares were up and ready to gouge me in three distinct spots before I even got to the bars. Swatting away the one lined up with my left eye, I extended my hand.
"Hiya. an I leave yet?"
The damn thing kept looking at me for a bit longer, and the decided to give the nicest response I'd heard so far in this little odd universe.
"No."
"Oh, f*ck you."
...
"Wot?"
"Learn new words, ya big eared bastards. And you, stubby-legged thing, listen and listen good. I'm tired of being a bunch of random animals' bitch, and I'm tired of not knowing what the f*ck is going on! I partied, I got drunk, AND I passed out as a human friggin being last night, and this morning I woke up as a cat, being prodded and beaten by rabbits! I want to know how I got to this weird little Hell, I want to know why it is I'm being imprisoned, and I want to know just what the f*ck you all are, and how're you're all walking and talking!"
The individuals holding spears seemed rather intrigued by my choice of vocabulary, and the two personal guards even lowered their spears a bit. The one from before still looked pissed though, and her spear was still at the ready to be driven through my fuzzy little throat.
"My name is Steelheart. I am the Lady Ruler of Salamandastron. I'm a badger, and I know not why it surprises you that my companions can speak." The big thing said flatly.
I had calmed down after my... somewhat obscene outburst, and composed a thoughtful response. I coughed and nodded.
"You want out?" The big thing asked.
"Yup." Let it be known I had five different quips at the tip of my tongue, but I was smart enough to keep those ones quelled.
"Alright. Sparrow, let him out."
I half expected a talking bird to swoop in and with some keys and unlock the door, but instead it was the oh so pleasant rabbit with her weapon nearly poking me that responded. "Marm, I do hope you know what you're doing."
"Put the spear down, it'll be alright. If he tries anything, I can handle him." She said all of that in a cold monotone voice. I get the feeling she also wasn't quite fond of me yet.
Sparrow, odd name for a mammal, got the key and unlocked the door. I stood there for a bit, not wanting to do anything too sudden in fear of startling them.
"Join me in a walk, Mr..."
It's occurred to me that I've never really properly introduced myself. For that I apologize, I figure I should've gotten that done in the first chapter. Still was a bit preoccupied back then. Anyway-
"My name is Don Juan."
That's a lie. That's not my name, I'll admit it. However, nobody here is really going to call me on it. Honestly, if I'm going to be stuck in a different universe, might as well take what little fun I can get. Hell, I'm almost surprised I didn't say a goofier name.
"Are you going to join me, or would you like to still be in the cell when the door closes, Don Juan?"
With a grin suppressed, I followed the Lady Ruler of Salamandastron out of my prison cell and began what would become a rather dull and boring adventure through a whole new world.
A/N: Keepin it quick. Wanted to get some time to say that, despite the lack of updates, I've actually been doing fairly well at being productive. Sands will be getting a chapter soon, as might this one... NEXT WEEK however, absolutely no writing will get done. That's because stuff. However, after that, I'll be COMPLETELY DONE WITH SCHOOL and will have a job with a schedule that'll allow for more writing on my part. Cheers mates, a new era of actual common updates will soon be upon us!
As always, I thank you for reading, and if you'd like, leave any criticism or comments in a review. I hope you all have a good day.