Why had no one told Peter that vents were annoying and uncomfortable? How did Clint manage to be any kind of effective in the cramped rectangles of death and metal? Peter had no idea. He struggled, dragging himself through the confining metal by his elbows. A raised edge caught the hem of his shirt and he had to pause a moment to rearrange his arms so he could detach himself from the protruding thingy.
"What's the point of being a superhero if you can't even sneak through a building without getting yourself all caught up," Peter growled to himself and pushed himself forward once more.
He'd been crawling for at least twenty minutes, and was starting to think that deciding to pull a Hawkeye had not, perhaps, been his best moment. He was not, after all, nearly as trained as Clint, even though he was physically stronger. Peter shook his head. He just had to practice more. Then he could…
Peter scoffed to himself. It wasn't like he wanted the ability to crawl through the vents with ease. He had better things to figure out how to do, like flip an assailant onto his or her back without having to use his hands. Fun stuff like that.
Peter was so caught up in his internal grumblings and wishful thinking that he almost scooted right over the vent to the conference room. It was only Steve's concerned voice that had him stopping and adjusting himself to better hear the Avengers' opinions.
"—just not sure anymore."
Someone sighed dramatically, and Peter recognized it as coming from Tony. "What's that supposed to mean? He threatened bird-brain over there with one of his own arrows."
"I know," Steve said, "but he had a point—"
"I'll apologize!" Clint interrupted, and there was a pause where no one said anything before Clint spoke again. "He was right. I was way, way over the line. If that arrow had pierced him, he could have died." Clint sounded like he was sucking on a lemon slice. "I don't know what I was thinking."
"I do," Natasha sighed, "and it makes me wonder. SHIELD's files on Spiderman insist that he has these, senses, that—"
"You hacked into SHIELD?" Tony squealed, and then in a more mature tone of voice he prevaricated, "I am not proud of that. Not at all. In fact, I'm not sure that isn't a breach of Article 8, subsection 14-B of the—"
"Shut it Stark," Natasha said evenly, as if she were merely commenting on the weather, and Peter could hear Tony's teeth snap shut. "As I was saying, the files indicated that Spiderman has senses that allow him to anticipate attacks or other things one might deem dangerous. Besides Clint's obvious lack of forethought, I am curious as to why Spiderman's super-powered instincts failed him on this occasion, assuming it was the first."
"Perhaps there are some defects in this Spider Man's abilities?" Thor asked, and Peter had to roll his eyes at the God's inability to state anyone's name correctly. He wondered if Thor did it on purpose, and if so, why? Because if Thor was doing it just to mess with people, than Peter was going to have to tell Wade. The Ex-merc would be so proud.
"I don't think so," Natasha said slowly, and Peter had to pull himself forcibly back into the present. All this inner rambling stuff was hard work, and sometimes Peter wondered how Wade was able to do it successfully with more than one voice in his head. Again he forced himself to listen to what was being said below him. "I saw him dodge a flying Doom bot that was coming at his 6 without even a glance over the shoulder."
"He was dodging Dr. Doom's robots pretty efficiently," Clint agreed. "And for the most part he was able to dodge my arrows. He was a little slower there, but I didn't think to question it."
"Maybe his psychic bullshit only works on the baddies around him." Tony speculated, and Peter could only hope he was being the sarcastic little shit he always was. "Like Professor X and the Magneto helmet, only it isn't metal that's the blocker but the forces for truth and justice." Yep, Tony was definitely being a screw-ball idiot.
"I know you are being a dick, Tony," Bruce said, and Peter let out a silent cheer that someone else was able to call Tony out on the BS while he was currently indisposed in the ceiling vent, "but I think you might actually be right for once."
"WHAT?" Tony and Clint squawked at the same time.
"I agree with Dr. Banner," Steve said, in his I-fill-out-my-taxes-like-a-good-citizen,-but-could-also-literally-punch-you-into-the-asphalt-without-breaking-a-sweat-voice (Peter swore this was a real kind of voice), "Spiderman puts more implicit trust in us than I can find motive for. I don't understand it, but it doesn't make his actions less true."
"Maybe it's a superhero thing?" Bruce asked. "It would make sense that he would trust superheroes more than Doctor Doom."
Tony scoffed, and Peter could just imagine him rolling his eyes. "Well duh! We are superheroes after all."
"Tony, shut up," Bruce said sweetly, "the point I'm trying to make is that maybe he is an ok guy after all. We kind of shortlisted him because of," there was a significant pause, "reasons. But maybe he isn't as much of an ass as we all assumed."
"He's a complete ass," Natasha murmured, but her voice held a hint of laughter, and Peter wondered what on earth he could have done to make her actually not dislike him.
"Bruce," Steve said slowly, "I agree with what you're saying, only I feel there is something you are leaving out. An explanation perhaps?"
"Yeah, Brucie!" Tony exclaimed, "Spill the beans. Don't tell me you want to get into Spidey's pants too!"
Bruce sputtered and Peter made a mental note to hide all of Tony's wrenches somewhere he could never find them.
"I think," Natasha cut in, voice like steel, "that the interesting thing is that the Hulk seems to actually like Spiderman."
"What?! Really?" Tony asked, shocked into actually sounding genuinely curious and not snarky.
Bruce grunted. "As far as I can tell. According to Spiderman, the Hulk carried him off after his little tiff with all of you. When I woke up he mentioned casually how nice the Hulk was. Nice!" Peter had to bite back a laugh at how offended and honestly frazzled the doctor sounded.
Tony laughed, a deep belly laugh, and Peter had to be content with laughing vicariously through his boss.
"And you feel you can trust the words of this man that is a spider?" Thor asked.
"I actually saw it," Natasha admitted. "Hulk tried to defend Spiderman to me. Honestly he did. For whatever reason, the Hulk trusts Spiderman explicitly."
Steve hummed, which Peter recognized as his 'I'm thinking' noise. "I think," Steve said after a pregnant pause, "that we should reconsider asking Spiderman to join. I'm not saying we should send him a gilded invitation," he said as the others started making noises of either agreement or disagreement, "all I'm saying is that we should be open to the possibility. Plus," he added as an afterthought, "perhaps our reaction to finding him and…Wade, on that roof was the opposite of what we should have done. He didn't seem to understand why his actions might be considered incorrect. It might have been better to take him under our wing and teach him what correct behavior is in any given situation."
"You're saying that we should be teaching fledging superheroes how to be good? Is that our duty now?" Tony asked, half incredulous, half curious.
"It couldn't hurt," Clint said, and his voice still held a tone of regret that made Peter wince. "Second chances are opportunities to get your life straight. Everyone deserves a second chance."
Peter rolled his eyes. Their sentiment was nice, and he liked that they were, you know, not super horribly angry at him anymore, but again, in reality, he hadn't actually done anything wrong.
Except, maybe, public indecency, which was a crime, but it wasn't like it was likely they would have been caught!
…Except that they were…
"I agree," Thor boomed, "as hardened warriors, it is our place to guide the younger, less experienced recruits into becoming even better than their forefathers!"
"Thor, I'm going to have to ask you to be less excited about this," Tony said. "I'm all about raising a group of miniature Avengers who we can keep an eye on so they don't go around busting up the city while they're learning to control their super powers. But, as much as I think the kid hasn't deserved the harsh treatment we've been meting out, I'm not sure it's such a good idea to have Spiderman and Deadpool in close proximity. Things might get a little… messy."
"I trust that Brother Wade will not betray young Peter again," Thor intoned darkly. "I have been talking much with him, and he has accepted that it is wrong to sleep with one person when one is betrothed to another. He even vowed to never do such a thing against his young fiancé."
What was with all of these people calling him young? Yeah, he wasn't exactly an old guy, and ok, he was still a ways off from middle aged, but he wasn't a kid!
"Ok, we can trust Wade," Clint said slowly, "but can we trust Spiderman? I'm not saying he's untrustworthy generally," Clint was quick to explain, "about that I'm not sure I have the right to speak, but what about around Wade? Spiderman said that he'd been friends with Deadpool for a long time. Sometimes that can mean more than one might think. There might still be some tension there, some…passion. Do you want to risk it?"
There was a pause in the conversation wherein Peter realized that his shoulders were tense.
He'd already decided that he didn't want to join the Avengers, it would be too much effort keeping up his identity secret, but it still felt like this was the reckoning point. This was when it was decided if he was to be liked or not, accepted, and despite not actually wanting to join them, he still wanted to be thought of as someone who the Avengers wanted to join them. He shook his head because he did not want to be tense and anxiously waiting whether or not he'd be accepted while eavesdropping in an air vent, assisted in his criminal activity by a sentient, bodiless, robot.
Peter wondered if this act of espionage would ensure he be relegated to the Bad Egg list if he was ever found out; like, doing the illegal and wrong thing in order to figure out if people accepted him as a good person. Peter would actually like to sign up for Irony Monthly so he could keep track of all of the ridiculously ironic things he's doing with his life.
Finally, Steve, patriotic leader, came to a decision. "I think I do." Peter let out an inaudible sigh, and his shoulders slumped in relief. And then mentally smacked himself because he should not be that excited about being asked to join a group that he was going to decline.
"Wait, friends," Thor said slowly, "I think at this juncture whether we might invite him is only one facet of this situation. How will we find the Man Spider?"
Peter physically shuddered at that bastardization of his name.
"No probs," Tony interjected flippantly, "I'll just ask J." Then slightly louder he said, "Jarvis?"
"Yes, Sir?" the AI asked, and Peter had the sudden fear that Jarvis might rat him out. He knew it was unlikely and irrational, but he couldn't help it. He was in the ceiling, eavesdropping on the Avengers. There was no way he could explain his action without digging himself into a hole. Or, revealing his secret identity which would, at this point, be just slightly awkward considering the conversation they were having.
"J, think you could do your magic and find us Spiderman? Check the security cameras around the area of our latest fight. Track his movements."
"Sorry, Sir," Jarvis said cheerily, "I don't think I'll be able to do that for you."
Peter frowned. What was Jarvis doing?
"What?" Tony squawked.
"Jarvis?" Bruce asked in his concerned voice (the one he used when he thought Peter was missing a meal), "Why can't you locate Spiderman?"
"I am unable to locate Spiderman based on the surveillance cameras as I have determined that it is not the best course of action available."
Peter's heart rate sped up. Was Jarvis really defending a random superhero (who just happened to be Peter) to Tony?
"What?" Tony asked again, this time in a quieter tone of voice.
"I apologize, Sir. I am currently unable to help you on this endeavor. Might I recommend merely waiting until the next battle for you to ask him? I do not think a man who favors keeping his identity a secret would react well to a large number of people showing up at his doorstep; especially if he has been given no other option than to assume those people do not like him."
Good ol' Jarvis. Peter would have to get him a present to show his gratitude. As Spiderman, of course. What would an Artificial Intelligence enjoy as a gift? And how would "Spiderman" secretly leave it for him?
"Jarvis has a point," Natasha said in that neutral voice that usually meant she was not really feeling neutral at all.
Someone sighed, but it was quiet enough that Peter couldn't make out who it was.
"I guess that's it. Meeting adjourned?" Tony asked with a sarcastic lilt in his voice and there was a shuffle as, Peter assumed, the Avengers rose to leave.
"Who's going to tell Deadpool?" Clint asked, and his voice was quieter, as if he were talking from far away.
Steve sighed. "I guess I should," and then there was a gentle whirring as the door closed behind them. Nothing but silence filtered up to Peter.
"Well," he mumbled to himself as he tried to turn himself around in the cramped vent, "I guess that's that. And now I'm stuck in the ceiling. Wonderful."
He couldn't help the small smile that grew on his face as he thought about what he'd just heard.
"At least they don't hate me anymore."