A/N: Sorry there was no chapter yesterday! Haha, now back to your regularly scheduled program.

The happily drowsy thoughts buzzing through Hiccup's mind screeched to a halt and his breath left him in a rush, like he had been punched. He felt the color drain from his face and he took a step backwards without realizing it, as if backing away from Astrid's news.

Speaking of, Astrid's tears had begun to run slowly down her cheeks and her hands squeezed themselves tightly into fists. "I'll kill her," she was snarling through her tightly gritted teeth, "I'll fucking kill her! After everything she did to you, after she nearly killed you, now she has the balls to go and do this…!"

Hiccup immediately went to her side and, unsure of what to do but wanting to stop her tears, he just did what she had been doing for him to make him feel better. He tentatively wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest, placing his head atop of hers without a word. Astrid less loose a furious sob and gently gripped his forearm, returning the embrace.

"Where's Heather now?" he asked softly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"In police custody," Stoick spat, "For her 'protection.'"

"You mean they believe her?" Valka asked incredulously.

"They said they weren't jumping to conclusions just yet and a hearing is going to have to take place to sort all of this out," her husband replied, "But I'm inclined to believe that is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. Of course they think she's telling the truth. Women come in to report abusive husbands and boyfriends all the time, but how many men do you think come in with complaints of abusive wives or girlfriends? Few, if any. And because there are no complaints filed, they think it never happens, so when one does come forward, they think he's lying."

"Because apparently women can't be abusive," Astrid growled from under Hiccup's chin, leaning the side of her face against his warm throat, "That's what this asshole at the station said. I told him I'd prove him wrong right now and nearly leaped over the counter and snapped his fucking neck."

"And I nearly let her," Stoick added, "Hell, I nearly helped her jump across that counter."

Hiccup squeezed Astrid a little tighter, fear making his heart beat far harder than the muscle was designed to, and said in a trembling voice, "But I didn't do anything."

Valka came over to stand next to him and place a hand on his back. "We know you didn't, baby."

"We're going to get this sorted out, son," he said, placing one massive hand on Hiccup's head, "There's overwhelming evidence against Heather, and they can't ignore that."

"And I'm a witness," Astrid nodded against his chest, "And I have friends at work that could act as witnesses too. You're going to be fine."

"I can't go to prison, I didn't do anything!" Just the thought made him feel nauseous, and Hiccup began to feel dizzy with terror. He lost his balance slightly as the room began to tip, and Astrid and Valka had to help him keep his feet, all the while he kept murmuring, "I didn't do anything," over and over again. As if that would be a viable defense at the stands.

He heard soft words speaking nonsense comforts all around him, but couldn't process them anymore, blinded as he was by the terror produced by a vision of his future in jail. His arms locked around Astrid and he couldn't summon the will to let go, like if he did he'd slip off the edge of chasm of despair that had opened behind him. He could feel tears stinging at his eyes, and out of habit he tried to blink them back.

Don't cry, don't cry, the conditioned part of his brain warned him hastily, Pain happens when you cry. Stop crying, please stop it, she'll hit you!

His fear only grew when he couldn't find it within himself to stop. Astrid helped him over to the couch, where she lowered him into a sitting position and started shushing him. When he didn't respond, she started stroking the skin on the back of his arm and crawled into his lap. He barely noticed her attempts to soothe him; his vision was turning white and his brain had begun a helpless spiral into hysteria, torn apart by his desire to cry and his conditioned response not to cry. It sent him into a panic, and suddenly he couldn't breathe. He heard voices on the edges of his hearing telling him, "don't cry, please stop crying, breathe!" but he couldn't tell who they belonged to anymore.

Hiccup saw a hand raise itself quickly in the corner of his vision, and he flinched violently, striking out at the hand and making contact with it. He hid his face in Astrid's neck with a cry of fear, and his body tensed itself in preparation for the expected blow, the blow that always followed the instant his eyes began to glisten and his chin began to quiver. The blow that always followed after the sharp bark that told him to grow up and cut it the hell out, the blow that would bruise his sensitive skin and permanently damage his psyche. It was coming, and when it did it wouldn't stop…!

When it didn't, he raised his eyes tentatively to see Valka cradling her hand to her chest, her face pinched with deep pain.

Oh God, he didn't…

Not…oh mama, no, I'm so sorry…!

Someone keened, high and shrill, and he felt the sound leave his throat but couldn't connect it to himself. His chaotic thoughts reached a deafening crescendo and an awful ringing nearly made his eardrums burst. However, his poor, tortured body took pity on him, and finally took it upon itself to drain the blood from his head and fill his vision with peaceful blackness.

000

When Hiccup woke, his head was pounding and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. It sounded remarkably like waves crashing upon a shore deep inside him. With a groan, he opened his eyes. His vision flashed white for a moment, then faded to indiscernible blurs, then the recognizable shapes of Astrid's room. The curtains were drawn and everything was cast in comfortable, cool shadows. He realized he was laying on her bed, and the blankets had been drawn up around his shoulders, wonderfully comfortable and fluffy. His pillow was quite soft and smelled so good, like a banana smoothie, but it was a bit bony…

Oh.

Nuzzling his nose experimentally, he realized his pillow was in fact Astrid, and his head was on her stomach. He lifted his head slightly so he could see her face, and when he did he saw that she was dozing off. Well that was alright, he supposed, he wouldn't mind going back to sleep either. Her fingers were loosely entwined in his hair anyway, keeping where he was, and Hiccup used that as an excuse to hunker back down, sigh contentedly, and close his-

Then it all came flooding back; the fear he could taste, his mother's face, and the tears. His eyes popped back open and his heart began to pound, forcing his body out of if it's calm, drifting limbo and into painful wakefulness. It was suddenly imperative that he knew where his mother was so that he could find her and throw himself at her feet, groveling and begging for her forgiveness with everything he was worth. Tentatively, he hefted himself onto his elbows, nudged Astrid and said her name softly until, with a jerk, she awoke.

"Oh God," she breathed, rubbing at her eye with her free hand, "I shouldn't have fallen asleep."

"Astrid?" Hiccup said her name again, too afraid to raise his voice above a murmur.

She flicked her gaze down to him, and when she saw that he was awake her face broke into a pleased smile. "Hey, babe. You awake this time?" She sat up slightly and twisted around to turn on her desk lamp so that she could see him better.

He raised an eyebrow. "This time?"

Astrid gave him a gentle, empathetic look. "I figured you wouldn't remember. You actually only passed out for about a minute, but then when you woke up you just started screaming bloody murder and fighting anyone that tried to touch you. The way your eyes were though, even though they were open, we knew you weren't really awake and seeing us. That and…"

Hiccup stared at her expectantly, and prompted, "And?"

Astrid sighed heavily, "You kept begging us not to hit you."

Hiccup flinched like he'd been punched in the stomach, and it certainly felt like he had. His insides froze and his blood felt icy cold.

"We did manage to calm you down, though," she continued hastily when she saw his pained expression, "You fell asleep after that, although you've been talking in your sleep pretty much this whole time. I don't think you got much rest."

Hiccup shook his head. Now that she mentioned it, he felt like he had just finished running a mile, his mind jittery and his nerves quivering.

"Where's my mom?" he asked quietly, staring at the quilts.

Astrid paused, seeing the sick guilt pass across his face the same time it squeezed his chest, and reassuringly began to rub the back of his neck. "She's at your apartment getting all of your things so she can bring them back here."

"And my dad?"

"Back at the police station. I actually got off the phone with him right before I fell asleep with you. He said they've finally scheduled a hearing date for your case. That's the good news. The bad news is that it's three months from now. But your dad said that in the meantime, they can mandate a restraining order against her if it comes to that, and I'm all for that, gotta be honest."

Hiccup felt weak suddenly, and with a groan he laid back down again and curled up with his back to Astrid. He felt the bed shift as she sat up to try and see his face, but he didn't really think there was much to see. All the turmoil was on the inside.

He had hurt his mother. His mother. How…there were no words. He had fought all of them like they were his enemies, had been such a terrible burden the moment Astrid had accepted him into her own. Heather was right; he was a piece of shit, the lowest form of life the world had created. Worms were Christ-figures compared to him. He didn't deserve to be touched, didn't deserve Astrid's comfort, or her sympathetic gaze, or her warm bed. He didn't deserve to have her food filling his stomach, or her patience and desire to help him. He deserved to be tossed out in the cold to starve or freeze to death. He wasn't worthy of anything remotely wonderful that the world had to offer.

He deserved to be trapped back in that apartment with Heather so finish what she started.

Hiccup didn't realize he was mumbling this out loud until Astrid commanded firmly, "Hiccup, enough. Look at me."

He shook his head and buried his face into her blankets, wishing the Devil would just come and collect what was rightfully his. But instead of Satan, an angel gently turned his face so that he was looking her in the eye. Well, Astrid looked like an angel, a halo of light around her head from the desk lamp shining behind her. Her eyes were narrowed, and she looked so furious that Hiccup tensed himself in preparation for her to start yelling at him, or to strike him like he deserved.

So he was very, very surprised when she took his face in her hands, leaned down, and desperately pressed her lips against his.

It wasn't really a kiss, more like an angry clashing of teeth, and Astrid's fingers were digging into his jaw. And when she pulled back, her eyes were filled with tears.

"Listen to me, Hiccup Haddock," she whispered harshly, planting a hand on either side of his head and gazing down at him intently, "I'm only going to say this once: you are worth it. To me, to your parents, to your friends, to people you haven't even met yet. Don't know how anyone could possibly think so? Well let me tell you right now and you better shut the hell up and listen."

Hiccup could only stare up her, wide-eyed as a frightened doe.

"I can't speak for other people who love you, but I can speak for me. Despite what's been said, there is a bright, gorgeous, beautiful soul inside this sweet, dorky packaging that I would kill to protect. Do you understand me? I would end other people's lives if they tried to end yours. That's what you inspire in me, in your parents; the desire to protect and love. That's the essence of being human, Hiccup, you inspire other people to act fucking human and to pull their heads out of their hypocritical, dead, biased, racist, sexist, disgusting asses.

"You know, before I met you, I was this cold, heartless bitch who didn't think I deserved to be happy and was going to be alone the rest of my life because I didn't anyone would want to deal with me. And then…I saw you, and now it's like that person never existed. You made me feel like I deserved to be happy, that I could make other people happy, that I was pretty and confident. I felt like a lump of ice and you turned me into an actual person that saw that…that offing myself wasn't the answer."

Hiccup gasped and bit back a sob, trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.

"When I saw you were in trouble, it gave me a purpose, and I can never thank you enough for that. And now I find that you actually like me back, that you find me worthy of affection, of your attention…do you have any idea what that means to me? It made start to hope, Hiccup! You made me…"

Her arms were trembling hard, and she lowered herself down to bury her face in his neck, her back shuddering with her sobs. She slid her arms underneath him and Hiccup wrapped his arms around her, leaning his head against hers. He was crying in earnest now too, but at least Astrid's sobs were just as wet and disgusting as his. She drew in a breath, and finished her rant in his ear in a whisper.

"You made me want to bring other lives into the world too. If it's with you, I'll do anything. That's what you mean to me, understand?"

Hiccup could only cry and hold her to his chest, wanting to believe her. Astrid didn't lie about things like this, though. She told him things straight up, and if she thought he was special, if he was that precious to her and to his parents…

Maybe…he was.

Just then, he heard a quiet sob on the other side of the open bedroom door, and he knew immediately who it was. Looking at the empty doorway, he hesitantly called for his mother, and her figure immediately appeared. She was covering her mouth and her eyes were red-rimmed, her shoulders shuddering. Hiccup wondered how long she had been standing there, but she had obviously heard enough. Astrid lifted her head and regarded Valka as well, before getting off of Hiccup, suddenly feeling self-conscious that she was laying on top of him in front of his mother. Hiccup sniffed and held his arms out towards his mom, a silent plea for her forgiveness and a need to know she still loved him all in one motion. Without hesitating, she crossed the room in two strides and scooped up her son in her arms, sitting beside him on the bed and holding him tight. Astrid respectfully moved out of the way but kept one hand on Hiccup's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry mama," he mumbled into his mother's neck, "So sorry. I love you so much! You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to, but"-

"No, baby," Valka assured him, "Oh no, no, I was never angry with you. I love you too. And Astrid's right, you know. You are worthy, and there's nothing you can do or say to convince me otherwise. Oh, shh…don't cry, don't cry love…"

But Hiccup couldn't stop, no matter how hard he tried. He was simply too overcome to think, to breathe properly. What Astrid and his mother were saying was too good to be true, and he couldn't take it. The beautiful words were filling his chest to the point where he felt it would burst, but they weren't sinking into his heart. At least, not yet.

However, from how tightly his mother was squeezing him, infusing him with all the light, warmth and innocence of his childhood, and Astrid, who was rubbing his arm and illuminating his new future like a quiet, lovely sunrise, he thought one day he might be able to believe them.

So hold on, be strong,

Every day, hope will grow.

I'm here, don't you fear,

Little one, don't let go – Tears of An Angel, RyanDan