Feel

xxx

The sun's just beginning to rise, ribbons of pink and orange threading through a lingering haze of clouds.

It's pretty. Like one of them paintings she claims to like so much, but Daryl don't pay it no mind. Don't give it a second thought. Not when he's got two arms wrapped around her. So tight he can feel every breath she takes. So close he can count every beat of her heart through his skin if he wanted to.

(he wanted to, had done just that the night before. but there ain't time. ain't never enough goddamn time).

Her hair's soft beneath the stubborn jut of his chin, her fingers a pale, almost painful press against the corded muscles of his forearms, and Daryl drops his mouth to her shoulder, feels her shiver as the shadow of his beard scrapes against her tender neck with his murmured confession. "Don't wanna go."

She hums, the sound soft and strained, and lifts a hand to his head, cradles him close.

Their fevered cheeks kiss, their tears mingle, and Daryl shudders with the effort of holding the words back, but they escape anyway. "Ask me."

(ask me to stay).

xxx

Took the end of the fuckin' world, but Daryl finally knows what Heaven feels like. Least he's sure it's the closest he's ever gonna get. Ain't expectin' the Almighty to be waitin' for him at them gates when his time finally comes, figures the Devil and Merle probably already got his southbound ticket punched, but it ain't nothin'. Made his peace with it a long time ago, and he won't worry 'bout it no more. Not when she's everywhere.

Her fingers tangle in his hair, anchoring him to that sweet spot, that little hollow below her throat where she smells like cinnamon and sweat. Her teeth drag across his lip, nip and nibble until he groans and surges, stealing her breath, suffocating the laughter that rumbles low in her throat, sucks at the tongue that wants to scold him, to tell him to slow down. Her knees dig into his ribs as he hitches her legs higher, buries himself so damn deep inside her he's not sure he'll ever be able to leave.

(isn't sure he would if he could because ffffuuuucccckkk).

Daryl's desperation fades away, and his world narrows to the warm clench of her sex, the soft, searching blue of her eyes, and he whines, drops his forehead to the curve of her neck as his toes dig into the worn mattress, his knees scramble for purchase.

Her heel slides across the swell of his buttocks, across the back of his thigh, and her legs widen, welcome him. Her sweet mouth falls open on a silent sob with his first shallow thrust. Her hips start to softly rise and fall, the rhythm stuttering only when he palms her slick back, rolls them both over, splays her across his heaving chest. Her hands grip his shoulders, cup his face when he sits up beneath her, wraps his arms around her back.

(just holds her. close. feels the fierce beat of her heart through his skin. counts the breaths she struggles to take as emotion overwhelms her. hell. overwhelms him. and he nuzzles the soft swell of her breast, growls her name against her skin, looks up at her with his miserable goddamn heart in his eyes).

Her mouth trembles against his own. It pleads as, deeper and deeper, they fall. "Don't."

xxx

Candlelight flickers across her face as she watches him eat his dinner, warm and forgiving as the night shadows start to fall.

(the trick of light makes her look like she did back at the Prison. soft. open. the prettiest thing Daryl ever did see with his own two eyes. 'specially when she smiled. but she don't smile no more. least not with her eyes. that's the thing bothers him the most).

Daryl's fingers tear off another hunk of bread, mop up some of the broth in his bowl, and he sneaks glances at her through the dark fringe of his hair. "S'good."

She huffs at his praise, rewards him with a little smirk as she stands to clear her side of the table. The dishes clink together in the small sink, the water spits indignantly from the spout as she rinses them. "Must be. That's your third helping."

Daryl ducks his head guiltily, and the soft bread seems to swell in his throat, choke off his air supply, and for a moment, for the briefest of seconds, not even the wink of a candle really, he's back in that cold cell and the food settles like a stone in his gut. His bowl scrapes loudly against the table as he pushes it away, and those blue eyes are narrowing in concern as they glance back at him.

She sighs. "I didn't mean anything by it, Daryl. Eat as much as you want. There's more than enough."

He tucks his chin to his chest, shrugs his shoulders, and gathers her apology and care close. "S'alright. Should be goin'. Overstayed my welcome." He stands up too quickly, has to steady his chair beneath hands that won't stop shaking, and makes a grab for the coat they outfitted him with at the Kingdom.

(what kind of fuckin' name was that anyway? kingdom? pfft.)

Her hand fits over his, warm and reassuring, and she's close, closer to him than she's been in a long damn time. "Really, Daryl. There's more than enough. It's just me."

He stares into her eyes, watches the reflection of the orange flames there as they shift and dance, and he turns his hand over, presses their palms together. Doesn't miss the nervous working of her throat as she swallows. "Is it?" The question hangs heavy between them, and he can tell the exact moment she makes her choice, decides to quit tiptoeing 'round this. Them. And all they were. All they couldbe. A fine tremor still moves through his other hand as he lifts it, combs it through her silver hair, gently tugs her close, closer still until his forehead is resting against hers and their noses are touching. "It really just you?"

(the answer is lost when their lips finally touch. don't much matter anyway. time's somethin' Daryl's stopped takin' for granted).

xxx

The door to the little yellow house opens, and Daryl doesn't give her time to say anything, doesn't give himself time to do anything but feel. He pulls Carol into his arms, holds her like he's never going to let go.

(he's finally home).

xxx

Mistakes are all mine.

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Thanks so much for reading!

P.S. In case you didn't figure it out, the story is told in reverse.