Dipper vs Manliness Part 2
Dipper, Manly Dan, Tyler, Sheriff Blubs, Deputy Dur-land and the old kook were wondering through the dark parts of the woods looking for a cave where the six-headed bear might be. Dipper steps on something and looks down to see a spear that was forged by bones of fallen animals.
"Hey, check it out." he said, picking up the spear. "Someone was cool enough make a spear out of animal bones. This is totally awesome, I'm keeping it."
"Oh, brother." Dan mumbled.
Suddenly, they find a cave with a lot of bones and blood in it.
"That must be the place." said Sheriff Blubs.
"Woo! We found it!" said the old kook.
Roaring is heard from inside the cave as the six-headed bear came out.
"Dude." said Dipper annoyed.
"Sorry. I couldn't resist." said the old kook.
The six-headed bear sees the six men and attacks them.
"Incoming!" shouted Deputy Dur-land.
"ATTACK!" shouted Dipper charging towards the bear with the spear.
Everyone else joins in.
"Get em, get em." said Tyler.
Manly Dan attempts to grab the bear by its leg, but gets thrown back into a tree.
"Take that!" shouted Dipper stabbing the bear in the eye of his first head.
The six-headed bear roars in agony. Dipper gets an idea.
"Guys, the only way to stop it is to slice its heads off." he said.
"Well, ain't that good news...for the men with the blades!" said the old kook angrily.
"Then let the men with the blades do the job!"
Dipper jumps on the bear, riding it like a bull.
"Giddy up!" he shouted.
Dipper stabs his spear into the bears neck of its first head, and slices it off like he was cutting open an orange with a butter knife.
"Score one for the Big Dipper." he said.
Suddenly, one of the bears claws slashes at Dippers chest mortally wounding him and cutting his shirt off. Dipper screams in agony as he falls to the ground.
"DIPPER! NO!" shouted Dan.
Dan gets angry at the bear, pulls out his axe and runs towards the bear, slicing off its second head. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Dur-land pull out their pistols and shoot the bears third and fourth heads right between the eyes. Blood begins to spurt from the bear as it convulses. The old kook picks up Dippers spear and slices its fifth head off.
"TYLER! CATCH!" the old kook shouted, throwing the spear to Tyler.
Tyler jumps on the bears final head, stabs it and shouts "THIS IS FOR DIPPER!" before cutting it right off.
The bear falls to the ground and dies. Everyone is battered, bruised and covered in blood. Everyone runs to Dippers side and check his pulse. Fortunately, there was one, but it was slow.
"We gotta get him to a hospital." Sheriff Blubs said. "He may be down, but with his well-toned chest, he's not out."
Dan picks Dipper up and carries him out of the forest and to a hospital.
Meanwhile, at the diner, Lazy Susan is wiping off tables. Suddenly, Stan appears with his hair combed and he's wearing a nice suit.
"Hey there, Susan." he said nervously. "I was...just wondering if...you would like to uh...go on a date with me?"
Susan stares at him for a brief moment and smiles.
"Oh, you big lug. Of course." she said. "Also, here's some pie. It's on the house."
Susan gives Stan some pie and walks away. Mabel, Wendy, and Sous come inside after watching the whole thing.
"WOO! VICTORY!" shouted Mabel, sitting down with everyone else. "You should call her. I don't have a phone. Let's get a phone. We could buy it with a credit card. Let's get a credit card."
"Mabel. Let a man enjoy his pie, will ya." said Stan, eating his pie.
"Speaking of men, I wonder how Dipper and my dad are doing." said Wendy.
Dipper, who has bandages all over his chest, comes in with a head from the six-head bear, and sits with the rest of the group.
"We came, we saw, WE KICKED ITS ASS!" said Dipper. "Although, I did experience near death. But I did got the bears head."
Everyone stares in complete shock that Dipper actually managed to kill a bear. Wendy punches Dippers arm.
"That's for scaring me." she said, now kissing him on the lips. "That's for being alive."
Wendy hugs Dipper, who hugs back. They pull apart.
"Hey, Wendy. You should've seen your dad." said Dipper. "We were facing off against this six-headed bear..."
"Here we go." said Stan.
"...and I cut off one of its heads. Then it clawed me, and Mr. Corduroy got so pissed, that he pulled out his axe and cut off the bears second head to avenge me."
"So, he became close to you and did what he had to do to save you." said Stan.
"Yeah. Something like that." said Dipper. "By the way, didn't I make a deal with Mabel that said that she had to massage my feet?"
"Uh, I don't remember that." said Mabel.
"Yeah, I think you did." said Sous.
"Sous?!" said Mabel angrily.
"HA HA! This I gotta see." said Wendy.
"Wendy?!"
"Hey, funny is funny."
"How about we do it right here, right now." said Dipper. "Because my feet got tired from fighting that bear."
Dipper takes off his socks to reveal disgusting smelly stinky feet.
"Oh. Gross." Wendy said jokingly. Everyone laughs.
"Seriously, that's disgusting." said Wendy in an uncomfortable way.
So what do you think? Too bloody? Too violent? Oh, who am I kidding? That was meant to be bloody and violent! Anyway, I went to school to do school service, and drunk coffee to stay awake. After I had two coffees with 3 packets of sugar in them, I sorta had a caffeine crash that lasted an entire hour. So I figured that I should write my next chapter to make myself feel better. Also, I felt like Manly Dan should have a close friendship towards Dipper since he's dating his daughter. Anyway, I'll see you all next time when I get the time to do this. Until next time. Ciao.