Chapter 6
Hiiiiiiii
Oh wow the authoress returns from the dead…
you are once again reading another chapter of truth and dare from this newbie and you find yourself wondering how you put up with her writing (and laziness), you come up with no answer and can't help but continue to read this…
by the way I know a lot of characters have barely been mentioned I'm trying as hard as I can to fit everyone in this and I'm not sure if you realise it but every chapter I'm trying to highlight a different troll/human with a sort of extra story in it? I guess you could call it? Meh hopefully you know what I mean! But thanks for pointing it out :33
Now…
You are outside the mansion in the backyard enjoying the short vacation and fake sun on your skin, mostly everyone is playing soccer. Red verses Blue, Derse verses Prospit with Sollux and Gamzee (who had been released recently) keeping score and Eridan with Crim sitting in the tree behind them (you can tell that's bad already), Karkat is still inside painting the mural of all of them
Sollux: Vrii2ka! That'2 agaiin2t the rule2 no abiiliitiie2 or magiic allowed!
Vriska: I don't know whaaaaaaaat your talking about
Sollux: you ju2t made Tavro2 fall on hii2 face
Tavros: iM UHHH,,,, OK
Gamzee: MoThErFuCkEr I DoN't tHiNk yOuR aLl Up aNd AlLoWeD tO Do tHe wInDy tHiNg EiThEr
The intoxicated troll slurred at the floating human
John: awwwwwwww
Vriska: was that 8 w's I heard joooooooohn?
Dave: …
Sollux: look you iidiiot2 they are very 2iimple rule2
Sollux: no hand2
(For some reason I thought of the magic cupcakes video and yes it is a fucking hilarious video)
Sollux: no pu2hiing and no abiiliitiie2 or magiic
Eridan: magic isn't reel
Eridan mutters and Crim elbows him in the ribs
Eridan: oww!
Crim: yes it is
Eridan: no it isn't
Crim: yes it is
Eridan: no
Crim: yes
Eridan: no
The two continue bickering about the subject until Crim gives in tired of fighting with the stubborn seadweller
Crim: fine you win this round fish face
Eridan: of course I wwin I never lose on this subject
Crim punches him in the arm causing him to nearly fall off the branch
Eridan: *muttering* bitch
Sollux: that'2 all got iit?
Everyone ignores Sollux and continue playing
Sollux: fiine then
Sollux uses his telekinesis thingy and brings the ball to him
Jade: hey we we're playing! Woof!
Sollux: oh 2o now you pay attentiion
Dave: dude give the ball back
Sollux: pfft you can try and get iit off me
Terezi: COM3 ON SOLLUX
Suddenly everyone jumps on Sollux though land on each other when he flys to the air with his telekinesis thingy to save himself
Sollux: hahaha niice try 2uckers
Roxy and John look at each other and suddenly do the windy/voidy thing and the ball flies out of his hands
Sollux: hey!
Vriska grabs the ball from the cyclone and starts kicking it towards the goal
Vriska: so looooooooong hahahaha
Terezi: OH NO YOU DON'T
Terezi tackles Vriska to the ground
Vriska: grr get off! We're on the same team!
Soon enough everyone starts running with the ball in their hands or feet and tackling each other, using powers and anything they have, Crim jumps down the tree with Eridan and go towards a pissed off Sollux
Crim: what happened to soccer?
Sollux: they deciided to do whatever the fuck they want
Crim looks the game
Crim: it looks like rugby just with feet and powers
Eridan: wwhat the fuck is rugby?
Crim: nothing *whispering* now go over there and calm your matesprit
Eridan stares at me and a faint blush forms across his face
Eridan: wwe're not matesprits and that's the job of his moirail
Crim: I can't believe you haven't asked yet He confessed like two chapters ago that he feels flushed for you
Eridan: back off! I'll knoww wwhen to ask him or not
Crim: better hurry up then your not the only one with a flush crush on him
Eridan takes the advise and quickly goes over to mustard troll
Eridan: h-hey sol
Sollux: hey fii2hdiick
He sits down next to Sollux and stares at the ground, Sollux just stares at sky both don't know what to do
Crim: *sigh* they grow up so fast
Crim sees Gamzee besides them and quickly drags him away towards the tree
Gamzee: wOw cHiLl OuT mOtHeRfUcKeR wHy DiD YoU hAvE tO aLl uP aNd Do ThAt
Crim: because they were having a moment and I'm sure they wanted to be alone
Gamzee: FaIr EnOuGh CrImSiS
Crim giggles at the stoned troll's new nickname for her
Crim: well if you understand
Crim climbs the tree again and sits down where her momentarily forgotten laptop was
She starts looking through the new reviews she left closed for some time when she hears the rustles of leaves and looks up
Gamzee smiles lazily and plops down next to the authoress
Crim: oh hey Gamzee watcha doing
Gamzee: sUp sIs JuSt wAnTeD tO SeE tHe MiRaCuLoUs vIeW honk
The authoress goes back to her work while Gamzee starts drifting off to his own place losing balance in the process, he nearly falls completely until the authoress looks up in time and grabs his wrist tightly
Gamzee: HONK! WoW tHaNkS SiS
Crim: haha it's okay just try not to fall again!
The authoress and Gamzee spend the next few minutes next to each other with him staring off somewhere and Crim holding his arm so he doesn't fall again, she is also looking at the new reviews
Crim: okay it seems we let vacation take over a bit too long
Crim: hey Gamz let's go we got dares to do
Gamzee: sUrE sIs lEtS gEt a mOtHeRfUcKiNg mOvE On
Crim: oh and Gamzee can you…
The authoress whispers something to Gamzee and he nods before walking off somewhere
Crim: alright prisone- I mean guests! Time to go and do some dares!
They all groan but start to walk into the house anyway
Crim: HEY KARKAT HOWS THE MURAL!
Crim shouts
Karkat: I JUST FUCKING FINISHED IT
Crim: GOOD!
Everyone walks into the living room (minus Gamzee) to be met with a powerful stench
Terezi: 44444H 1'M BL1ND 1'M BL1NDDD! :[
Equius: D- ugh what is this foul smelling stench
Aradia: it is making me feel dizzy
Nepeta: :33 h33h33 come on guys it's not that bad
Kanaya: *slightly drooling* yes on the contrary actually it's quite pleasant
In the living room painted on the wall with everybody's blood were crooked people in different colours
Crim looks at the wall and seems unfazed at the putrid stench coming from it like nepeta and Kanaya
Freak
Crim: says the talking voice who can now apparently smell
Shoosh I'm special your just a freak
Crim: riiiiiiiight anyways what the fuck karkat is that suppose to be
Karkat: OBVIOUSLY ITS EVERYONE NOOKSNIFFER
You take a closer look to see that they just look like a bunch of scribbles with arms and legs, a similar drawing you usually find on your fridge that little children/wrigglers draw
Kanaya: *huffing* what a waste of good blood
Crim: Karkat they look like walking potatoes
Karkat: SHUT IT YOU TRY FUCKING PAINTING IN THIS SMELL
Karkat: AND THEY LOOK FUCKING FINE
Crim: yeahhh I think even I could do better than that
Dave: cut him some slack Crim I think it's ironic
Karkat: THANK YOU DAVE
Dave: ironically bad that is
Karkat: FUCK YOU STRIDER
Terezi: H4H4H4H4H4 YOU GO D4V3
They high-five
Crim: ok karkat go take a shower
Crim: everybody else lets do the dares outside for a change
John: *holding nose* wait your not cleaning this off?
Crim: it has to stay on for an entire chapter
Jane: oh just great! How will I be able to do any desserts?
Crim: we'll find a way come on karkat we'll wait for you outside
Everybody leaves and continues their game of magical rugby or whatever you want to call that mess for another 10 minutes until you hear a yell
Karkat: EGDERP I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
John: hahahaha
John starts to burst out laughing
Crim: *sigh* what did you do?
John: I might of dyed all of his clothes pink
Crim: pffft hahahaha o-oh my god your the best John
Karkat suddenly walks out with pink shirt and a frilly skirt instead of his usual black clothing
Karkat: EGDERP WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PANTS
John: oh and I asked Kanaya to lend me a skirt
kanaya: I found the request quite odd but I gave it to him anyway now I know why he asked
Karkat: IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU
Everybody starts to laugh at the pink skirt wearing Karkat
Crim and John high five
Crim: how'd you manage to turn his clothes pink?
John: a master prankster never reals his pranks
Crim: well 'master prankster' you better start running cause frilly looks mad
John: shit ABSCOND!
John yells and flys away from the shouting Karkat who runs after him
Karkat: YOU BETTER FUCKING ABSCOND EGDERP ILL MAKE YOU PAY
After 10 more minutes everybody starts to calm down and sit in a circle
mysteriously Kanaya has seemed to disappear
John sits in front of Crim and it seems he is forming a nice bluish/purple bruise around his right eye
Crim: he got you?
John: …
*Cough cough*
Crim: anyway now that we've settled
HSFanFrench
OH GOG FIRST TIME I'M DOING A TRUTH OR DARE FIC IT'S AWESOME!_
KARKAT(DARE): HEY KARKAT YOUR MY BOSS TROLL AND ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS /
SO FOR YOUR DARE YOU MUST SINGING "KARKAT: BE A FANBOY" 'CAUSE I REALLY LOVE YOUR BROADWAY SONGS!
GAMZEE AND TAVROS(DARE): HEY BROS, DO A FRENCH KISS FOR FIVE MINUTES!
ERIDAN AND SOLLUX: GO IN A CLOSET AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT FOR TEN MINUTES!
TO EVERYONE(DARE): WHATCH ALL "KILL LA KILL" EPISODES AND TELL WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT!
(SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH I'M FRENCH)
Crim: aww thnx I'm happy you enjoy this
Crim: so I guess I'll just break the rules this once! ONLY THIS ONCE since theirs not suppose to be any singing dares but…
Crim: Karkat your up
Karkat: I'M NOT FUCKING DOING IT
Crim: she says your her favouriiiiite karkat
Crim: AND she even tried to write english just to ask you
(Which was great you don't need to say sorry)
Crim: plus I promise I'll get you new clothes if you do the dare
Karkat: …FUCK FINE ALRIGHT
Crim looks up the lyrics on her laptop and hits play
Fuck! That is the last time I ever host
someone's wriggling day party at my place
I'm gonna be cleaning up after Egbert and
All his ilk until my eleventh sweep at this rate!
Ugh. What are we even friends anyway!
Right. His taste in movies. Well this huge
pile of DVDs isn't going to clean itself
Up I might as well make this somewhat
Enjoyable
She's the Man, The Rebound, Hitch and
Miss Congeniality, this is just the tip of
the iceberg that's my menagerie
The wedding Singer.
Groundhog Day. The princess Bride, love
Actually Titanic, Juno, Knocked Up,
She's All That, Coyote Ugly
/
When I was just a wriggler, my
Lusus often preached to be a
skilled entrepreneur, five figures
Must be reached and whether
One's collection is of stamps or
coins or dolls if you're a true
enthusiast, you have to buy them
all!
/
13 going on 30, What's your number?,
Mamma Mia! Four Weddings and A
Funeral is something you should see
Along Came Polly, Wedding Crashers,
Something's Gotta Give, The Cutting
Edge, My Best Friend's Wedding,
Sweet home, Alabama
This ones one of my all-time favourites!
In which the Main Protagonist sits idly
till one day he finds himself head over
Heels for RedRom Interest A
But RedRom Interest A is flushing for
her Kismesis Whose Auspicticious
Moirail is the Main Protagonist!
(Oh!)
Monster-In-Law, One Fine Day,
The 40-Year-Old-Virgin,
Definitely Maybe, Win A Date
With Tad Hamilton
How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days,
Leap Year, The Proposal, Did You
Hear About The Morgans?, Kate
and Leopoid
Of course, I'm also rather partial to,
"In Which The Hero Finds Himself
Forced To Make A Big Decision
About Whether Or Not He Can
Commit To His Matesprit
Meanwhile, His Kismesis Has Been
Putting The Moves On His Moirail
And No One's Really Sure How To
Feel About That
But Then There's A Dual To The Death
Over The Hero's Remaining Quadrants
And His Matesprit Is Mortally Wounded
And Her Dying Wish Is-
AHEM.
I mean…
So when it comes to romance look
no further than this troll! This genre
is my expertise and I am on a roll!
In fact, I think we all could benefit
from my advice!
For example,
Eridan and Sollux watched
Pirates of the Caribbean
together last weekend
And gave each other matching
black eyes, THRICE.
And that's not even a hatedate
movie…
BUT THESE ARE!
Nick And Norah's Infinite Platlist,
My Big Fat Greek Wedding,
Six Days Seven Nights, Never
Been Kissed, While You Were
Sleeping
10 Things I Hate About You, A
Cinderella Story, She's The Man,
The Rebound, Hitch and Miss
Congeniality
She's The Man, The Rebound,
Hitch and Miss Congeniality
Everybody stares open-mouthed except for the striders and Crim who were smirking
Crim: soooooooo it seems you have been practicing ehhh?
Karkat's face blooms a cherry red across his cheeks
Karkat: SHUT THE FUCK UP I DONT PRACTICE ANYTHING
nepeta: :33 actually sometimes I hear him singing in the shower
Everyone starts laughing and even Dirk cracks a semi smile at that comment
Equius: D- Nepeta
Nepeta: :33 h33h33 oops
Crim: hehehe *wipes a tear* that was fun
Karkat: NOW GET ME FUCKING CLOTHES
Crim: I never said I would get them straight away dumbass
Karkat: WHAT!? FUUUUUUU-
Crim: ok Tavros and Gamz have to French kiss but two problems
Crim: one. Gamzee isn't here
Crim: two. Trolls don't know what French kissing is
Rose: solution one. Gamzee already appears to be here
Rose: two. They are already engaging in sloppy make outs
You look at the corner to find yet again another horn pile with Gamzee and Tavros indeed making out on top of it (how the fuck does he make horn piles without making noise?!)
Crim: …well uh ok then
Crim: Sollux. Eridan. Closet. Ten minutes. Now
Crim only points to the shed at the back that was obviously there this entire time
The trolls get up and walk to the shed without complaints even holding hands
Nepeta: :33 another ship has sailed!
Nepeta happily salutes to the couple grinning a Cheshire grin
Crim: Hehe remember it's only for 10 minutessss
Crim laughs
Eridan turns his head and glares at Crim with purple cheeks getting her joke
Crim: right everyone gather round we all have been dared to watch something …
Over like a few hours later
Crim: I…I just have no words for this
Jade: the animators were perverted
Feferi: v-Ery 38(
Terezi: WH4T H4PP3N3D :?
Equius: D- such 100d outfits should be banned
Nepeta: :33 *AC grabs a towel fur her sweaty moirail offuring it to him*
Equius: D- thank you Nepeta
Crim: let's just…lets just get this over with John?
John: uh ummm I like the theme songs?
Rose: insulting
Jade: very perverted
Dave: ironic script
Crim: really?
Jane: made me feel quite uncomfortable
Roxy: *hic* yea what janey saish
Roxy: *said
Jake: I guess I do quite admire the weaponry
Dirk: awesome
Crim: it's ok…if you ignore what they wear
Aradia: I left when I realised they were speaking another language
Tavros: iT WAS A BIT UM,, sCARY
Sollux: I like the animation
Nepeta: :33 I was taking care of Equius
Kanaya: the colours on the clothing were quite colourful
Terezi: 1 DON'T KNOW 1 C4N'T S33
Vriska: boriiiiiiiing
Equius: e%ceptionally 100d
Gamzee: I wAsNt PaYiNg mOtHeRfUcKiNg AtTeNtIoN
Eridan: it wwasn't that bad…
Feferi: I didn't lik-E it
Crim: okay now let's pretend we never watched that and move on
Everyone gladly nods
Dirk: I'm not promising anything
Crim: here people pass it round
Everyone puts earmuffs in just as the booming song begins
musicalBlink
Awesome. I get a theme song. But... Can it be the Emily Browning version instead? It's my favorite song. Iv actually been listening to it this entire time. XD
So... I was reading through the reviews, and I saw that a guest reviewer thought we should leave kitkat alone and get more variety in on who's being dared... The guest said Eridan hasn't even been mentioned. ;)
Kanaya must bedazzle every inch of Eridan's scarf and cape. Then, she must coat the horrid, bedazzled thing with rainbow sparkles.
Then she must return it to him. We can watch the bitch fight
ensue. :)
Everyone take the earmuffs off
Crim: actually speaking of which…
Eridan: wwhere the fuck is my cape? And my scarf!?
Kanaya: right here Crimson asked Gamzee to ask me to fix your cape so I did
Crim shows a thumbs up to Gamzee who he happily returns
Eridan: howw the fuck did you get my cape and scarf
Kanaya: from Gamzee. Now here I made a few improvements
Kanaya hands him a purple bedazzled rainbow covered cape with a matching scarf
Crim: it looks like a unicorn threw up on it
Eridan: wwhat the fuck did you do Kan!
Kanaya: I merely did a dare I was told to besides it looks much better now
Kanaya smirks at the raging Eridan
Eridan: do you knoww how precious these items are!? They are made from the finest silk Alternia can offer that's worth more than your life and you just DARE to turn it into a monstrosity you call fashion!?
Kanaya: monstrosity you say I don't understand it was like that before I touched it
Eridan: wwhat!
Eridan suddenly pulls out his science wand and Kanaya grabs her chainsaw
Crim simply shakes her head
Feferi: oh no 38(
The two nearly slice each other when their weapon flies out of their hands into a mini cyclone
Crim: enough I don't want to clean anymore blood than I have to
Roxy: hey aweosime you can *hic* do the voidy thang to?
Roxy*thing
Crim: yep most void players can
Roxy: yea gurl
Crim: now have the two of you calm down?
They say nothing because they are still running towards each and start hitting each other they roll and kick, scratch, bite and pull each other's hair while barreling insults
Crim: *sigh* let them be
Crim sees Nepeta at the with black chalk in her hands
Guest413
Hello. First I Would Like To Say That Feferi Should Not Have Been Put Through Such Cannibalism (She Is Part Fish So She Was Eating Her Own Kind). Now To The Dares.
Karkat: Slap Anyone In The Room Who You Want To Slap (No Limit On The Amount Of People/Trolls)
Everyone: Listen To The Song "Horoscope For Today" To Know Your Inevitable Futures! :]
Authoress: Summon Kankri And Lock Him In A Room With His Worst Enemy. Then, Trigger Him Somehow And Be Ready For What Comes.
That Is All For Now. Good Bye!
Crim: oh no
Karkat: YES FINALLY FINALLY A GOOD DARE
CRIM: *sigh* get it over with
Karkat happily (or as happy as he can be) goes around the circle and slaps Sollux twice, Eridan three times, John one extra hard, Dave two extra hard ones, Vriska, Equius, Gamzee and even Nepeta one but seems a bit less hard on her than the rest though tears still start to form around her eyes from the sting and Equius growls making him move faster until he reaches Crim
Crim braces for the impact across her face but gets less of a slap than she expects
She opens her eyes to see Karkat walking away face red and avoiding Terezi's eyes (not that she can see)
Crim spots Nepeta crying in Equius's arm trying to muffle the noise in his shirt while Equius glares at Karkat
Crim: *cough cough* anyway gather round everyone it's time to see your horoscope
A few minutes later
Crim: hey hey calm down everyone! It's just a video it doesn't mean it's true!
The authoress finally grabs the attention of the crying some petrified trolls a few were traumatised
Crim: geez this is just a video someone made up for fun so chillax!
Slowly everyone sits back down in a circle and the Authoress takes the opportunity to grab Nepeta and make her sit down beside her
She looks at Crim but says nothing
Crim: alright people it's time for all of us to suffer
Crim says miserably and walks inside
Everyone follows holding their breath and walk into the appearify room where they see her set coordinates and walk back towards the group
Suddenly there's a flash of white light and a groan
Crim: hi Kankri
Kankri: I demand t9 kn9w where exactly I am d9 y9u kn9w h9w triggering it is t9 suddenly disappear fr9m a current l9cati9n then reappear t9 find a stranger greet y9u 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah 6lah
Suddenly another white light appears and out goes Meenah
Meenah: wh-er-e th-e glubbing h-ell am I?
Kankri: 9h Meenah it seems y9u have 6een transp9rted here as well n9w I h9pe this d9esn't trigger y9u 6ut 6lah 6lah 6lah
Crim: move move!
Crim runs out the door and after everyone leaves she shuts the door
Meenah: wait th-e anglin s-ec don't l-eav-e m-e h-er-e!
Kankri: n9w Meenah it is very triggering f9r n9t t9 listen…
Meenah: gahhhh!
After a few minutes crim hesitantly opens the floor to see Kankri on the floor and a portal open
Crim: seems Meenah got sick of him and decided to go back
The portal closes
Crim: no wait take him too!
Crim: *sigh* oh well I still gotta do the next part
Crim appearifys a glass of water and dumps it on kankri
Kankri: 6lahhh y9u d9 y9u kn9w h9w triggering it can 6e to suddenly be waken espically if y9u are triggered 6y water h9w are y9u-
Crim: Kankri it's very triggering to not let me introduce myself
Kankri's eyes widen and shuts his mouth
Kankri: 9h well I supp9se that is true I ap9l9gize
Karkat: oh my god WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MAKE HIM FUCKING STOP
Kankri opens his mouth to speak but Crim interrupts
Crim: I'm Crim and I'm the hostess for a game of truth or dare you will now be playing now please I am asking you to not talk until next chapter as you might accidentally trigger me with your words as you do not know what could triggers me yet
Kankri nods and keeps his mouth shut
Karkat:YOU ARE THE TRUE GOG WHO CAN SILENCE THE UNSILENCEABLE
Crim: haha alright hurry up let's finish these dares for today
Crim: does anyone have a coin?
Rose: yes hear you go
Crim: thanks let's go
Everyone returns outside and sits down Crim reads out the dare
Karnepfurrever
Can you play a coin toss heads karkat has to kiss nepeata and tails his kisses chim
Crim: okay heads Nepeta Tails for me
Crim allows Tavros to flip the coin
It lands on his palm and he opens his hand
It's tails
Nepeta looks so crestfallen she looks about ready to cry right there but sees Crim and tries to smile the best she can breaking her heart in the process
Crim: it's tails
Karkat: yea
Karkat's face is red and Crim looks at Nepeta one more time than suddenly smiles
Crim: well I guess Nepeta has to kiss Karkat
Karkat/Nepeta: huh!?
Crim: well yea I looked at the dare again and it says Chim not Crim and I don't know any Chim's here
Karkat's face drops a bit and Nepeta squeals
She quickly runs over to Karkat and pecks him on the lips
Her face turns olive green and everyone aww's
She runs to Crim and tackle-pounces her
Nepeta: :33 *whispering* thankyouthankyouthankyou
Crim laughs
Crim: your welcome
She pats the troll on the head and gets up
Crim: now one more dare to go
GoggleHeadOtaku
Th3 us3rnam3 th1ng 1s f1n3, 1t was just w31rd r3ad1ng 1t as googl3. Don't d1ss th3 k1tt3ns sp1d3rb1tch. Th3y ar3 fuck1ng adorabl3 and w3 alllllll know 1t. 1 dar3 Cr1m to mag1cally coat 3v3ryon3's cloth3s w1th sup3rglu3(lasts for on3 chapt3r) and st1ck p3opl3 tog3th3r to form any sh1ps you want!
Vriska: I swear that bitch is asking for it it's suppose to be allllllll not 7 8! 8! 8! 8!
Crim: calm down Vris
Crim: this is going to be fun
Crim snaps her hands and suddenly a wave of glue gets everyone (excluding Kankri and Crim)
She pushes Equius and Aradia together, Vriska and John, Tavros and Gamzee, Roxy and Dirk, Jane and Jake, Kanaya and Rose, Terezi, Dave and Jade, Sollux, Eridan and Feferi and Karkat with Nepeta
(I also ship Jade with Dave and Feferi with Sollux and I didn't want them alone soooo)
Crim sighs
Crim: my OTP is complete muhahahaha
Vriska: what the fuck!?
Jade: hey we're stuck!
Crim: yep I stuck you guys together
Crim: yelp that's all the dares for today you guys have to help me clean the living room
There's a series of groans
Crim: move it people move it!
Nepeta: :33 hehe
Nepeta starts to walk in front of Crim happily and accidentally trips on karkat's feet
Karkat: FUUUU-
Crim: oh boy
And that's the end of today's chapter hope you guys enjoyed and to say sorry for delaying this with my laziness I give you an extra long chapter enjoy :33